I worry about being good enough. I have some bad issues like I like to hear bad things on the news or people I know. I know it is evil. I don't know why I enjoy it.
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Another thing
- Thread starter raven1
- Start date
I have that issue too of liking to hear bad news. Actually we don't LIKE these things; we just get false feelings that tell us we do. We imagine that we do. That's our stupid OCD for ya'. Always lying.
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Well, for one thing I've never heard a non-OCD person have worries about liking bad news. It's just us. I always wondered why I felt this sense of excitement when something bad happened or why I laughed when crying was appropriate. It's only recently that I've been reading the comments of other OCD sufferers and found out that that is a problem that we share, which says to me that it's not us but the disorder that we share that makes all that happen. Plus I don't want to enjoy such things, so why would I enjoy them? It doesn't make sense.
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That's one of OCD's lies: it says to us that we are some kind of weird sociopaths who like evil things. It's just not true. We feel cruddy when we even think that we might be enjoying something bad. Sociopaths don't feel that way.
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Because you wouldn't be on here with ANY concern. You'd NEVER even be on this site... EVER, seeking any type of reassurance. We've been down this road Raven....
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I suppose even if it is sociopathic I didn't choose it. I just don't like the only reason I want to change is so I wont go to hell not that I actually want to not enjoy it. Makes me worry God won't let me into hell because in my heart I don't want to be different.
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You do want to be different. I seriously doubt you only want to change so you won't go to Hell (which you won't). I doubt it'd bother you so much if you didn't care about it.
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You are not sociopathic. If you were, you would not be concerned. The very fact that you have brought it up here raven is that deep down you don't want to think that way. Take it to the cross. Confess it. Ask God to renew your mind and change your thoughts. He will work with you! God knows us already
I know it's sometimes easier said than done. But I have battled with all kinds of thoughts and by admitting them to God, I find each day God changes me. Hang in there!
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Why would I enjoy these thoughts if I wasn't sociopathic. I don't want to change them because I like them. I just want to change the fact I like them so I won't go to hell.
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Is this the way you WANT to be (enjoying bad things and all)? If not, then it is not you enjoying these bad things. It's the OCD.
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