Verizon Domestic Violence Vid

[WalksWithChrist]

I would say a very slanted view of domestic violence. It paints fathers as monsters with no mention whatsoever of female domestic violence abusers.

Monsters In The Closet - Anti-Father Ad By Verizon - YouTube

Here's a comment from below the video:

I'm a woman who'd been abused and I'm not anti male or scared to be abused for the rest of my life which is a gross exagerration if I ever I heard one. That kind of talk doesn't promote survival it promotes permanent victimhood. This PSA is disgusting, an appeal to emotion and misandric ideas that are all too prevelant in today's society. I'm just glad no young boys ever had to see this on tv. What message would they be taking from it about what people think about them or their fathers?

 

[mjmcmillan]

I've already asked in the married men's section, so I'll ask here just to make it more public. I was a male victim of domestic violence. Where's the Verizon ad depicting female abusers of men? There isn't one? OK, that's what I thought.

 

[hijklmnop]

Posted by "noneedforawoman"....

 

[Athene]

The one thing that puzzles me about MRAs is that all they do is complain about women's organisations, they whine that an advert that shows dv from a female perspective is showing dv from a female perspective. Why don't they make their own ads if they want the male perspective shown? Why don't they start their own domestic violence shelters for men? Why don't they start their own 24 hour helpline for male sufferers of DV?

Women have done these things for other women and now we have a group of mra's going ''this isn't fair, what about the menz, they are victims to'', and then expecting to hijack the work and money of women so that they (the MRAs) don't have to go through the hard work of setting up organisations and gathering funds themselves. It's laziness and pure unadulterated cheek.

Or even worse, they try and get domestic violence shelters closed down, and adverts removed from TV because its' 'unfair' that they only serve women, or show female as victims of dv. In doing so they stop awareness being raised, and remove help from women in life threatening situations. Nice going lads!

 

[hijklmnop]

I think it's a stretch to call it an anti-male or anti-father ad. It's an anti-domestic abuse ad focusing on the statistically most likely scenario. Yes, some abuse is perpetuated by women...I think we all know that. But statistically, the large majority is perpetuated by men. If that's the issue they want to address in their PA then I don't really see the problem. It's like getting angry at how many breast cancer ads there are in comparison to prostate cancer. No one is stopping anyone from raising awareness about domestic violence perpetuated by women.

 

[hijklmnop]

Athene you posted at the same time as me!

 

[WalksWithChrist]

I've already asked in the married men's section, so I'll ask here just to make it more public. I was a male victim of domestic violence. Where's the Verizon ad depicting female abusers of men? There isn't one? OK, that's what I thought.

That is my question as well.

The one thing that puzzles me about MRAs is that all they do is complain about women's organisations, they whine that an advert that shows dv from a female perspective is showing dv from a female perspective. Why don't they make their own ads if they want the male perspective shown? Why don't they start their own domestic violence shelters for men? Why don't they start their own 24 hour helpline for male sufferers of DV?

Women have done these things for other women and now we have a group of mra's going ''this isn't fair, what about the menz, they are victims to'', and then expecting to hijack the work and money of women so that they (the MRAs) don't have to go through the hard work of setting up organisations and gathering funds themselves. It's laziness and pure unadulterated cheek.

Or even worse, they try and get domestic violence shelters closed down, and adverts removed from TV because its' 'unfair' that they only serve women, or show female as victims of dv. In doing so they stop awareness being raised, and remove help from women in life threatening situations. Nice going lads!

Could you source that for us? I honestly have not heard of any of that happening.

I think it's a stretch to call it an anti-male or anti-father ad. It's an anti-domestic abuse ad focusing on the statistically most likely scenario. Yes, some abuse is perpetuated by women...I think we all know that. But statistically, the large majority is perpetuated by men. If that's the issue they want to address in their PA then I don't really see the problem. It's like getting angry at how many breast cancer ads there are in comparison to prostate cancer. No one is stopping anyone from raising awareness about domestic violence perpetuated by women.

My view is similar to the woman whose post I quoted. I personally would not want to take anything away from the fact that families are abused by men. But at the same time, to put up that sort of video with no mention whatsoever of the fact that the opposite happens as well to me is very irresponsible.

My own awareness of this is still growing. I have had to learn in an ad hoc fashion (with help from Cons!) about how unbalanced this issue is. It has gotten better, but if this video is any indication then we have a long way to go.

 

[Romanseight2005]

I agree with Athene and Dreamer, but I do think the ad could have said," Child is afraid of her parent," or something like that instead of making it about Daddy.

 

[suzybeezy]

911 Moderator Mediation


I'm going to remove the snippy posts, please behave like adults!

 

[kiwimac]

What bothers me is that males who are victims of DV have basically nowhere to go.

 

[Athene]

Could you source that for us? I honestly have not heard of any of that happening.

You've never heard of the NCFM?

 

[mkgal1]

“Dads demonstrate against Verizon” By Attorney David Pisarra | National Coalition For Men (NCFM)

 

[kiwimac]

“Dads demonstrate against Verizon” By Attorney David Pisarra | National Coalition For Men (NCFM)

I actually think they have a point, don't you?

 

[I Art Laughing]

What I will discretely posit as amazing is how when guys want to point out something in the culture that bugs them, a certain set of people needs to drop by an ride herd on them, making sure that they know they are being oversensitive sissies who need to grow up. If it looks like a mob, roves like a mob and forms in a pack......three guess what it is, the first two don't count.

What puzzles me is that when Christian men point out how popular culture vilifies them they are told they are imagining it. They are labeled MRA's and they are followed around by people who think they should stop worrying so much about gender. They are criticized for being overly sensitive and lacking in having a life by people who apparently (by their standards) have the self-same problem.

 

[I Art Laughing]

The part of that add that really troubled me was the statistical implication that boys who are abused are going to become MONSTERS

themselves.


Now don't anyone tell me that a boy who is watching this PSA is going to feel good about himself if he has been the victim of abuse. He's going to feel destined to be a MONSTER! Congratulations Verizon! You have now contributed to the nightmares of countless young boys.

As a DV survivor myself, I felt doomed by the rage that I had. I felt that it was inevitable and that I was assured failure. I screwed up in my first year as a husband and I found an accountability partner (confessed to my pastor) immediately. I then had to manage my behavior and monitor my anxiety level. I never want my wife to fear me the way we feared dad.

Saying that the PTSD I've suffered. The nightmares, are quite often more about the hurt I could potentially cause others more than any I've had done to me. I've killed my father countless times (and forgiven him more). I've woke up many times throwing punches and screaming in a puddle of sweat. (I sleep facing away from DW). The monster meme is BAD NEWS.

I need to be convinced that by God's grace that I AM NOT one, not have it confirmed to me. I wouldn't want my son, or the kids on my hockey team to EVER feel as if they were doomed to become monsters......that sickens me.

Raise "awareness" fine, all you want. Just please BE AWARE while you are doing it. Would it hurt anyone if this where more gender neutral? (Observe "Wounded Warrior" ads where a vast majority of warriors are men......try and Google a statistic).

Who is this ad supposed to be appealing to? Monsters? Future Monsters? Victims of Monsters? Future Victims of Monsters? Stumps me.

 

[mjmcmillan]

I took a look at the NCFM link, and --- been there, done that, got the bloody nose. She did everything she could, including hitting me in the head, to provoke me into hitting her-- I didn't do it because I knew who was going to jail if I tried to defend myself. Besides, I was raised to believe that men don't hit women. She knew it too, which is why she was trying to provoke me into hitting her. That's no way for anybody to have to live.

Typically, we're told that alcoholism and drug abuse can lead to abusive behavior. My wife did these things while drunk, so maybe there's truth to that. But, it's not an ironclad truth. My dad was an alcoholic, but he never hit anybody. Mostly, he just drank until he went to sleep. He could be abusive in speech on occasion though.

Am I a horror monster who would beat up my little girl-- if I should ever chance to have one-- because my dad was an alcoholic? God forbid! But, to see the Verizon ad, you'd think I am cursed to that kind of existence, not unlike the werewolf who comes out when the moon is full. It just ain't so.

So, how about a little balance? It's not too much to ask.

Oh, by the way-- I art not laughing. Somehow, this subject just isn't all that funny.

 

[Conservativation]

Look, the bottom line is IF as ad like this was about women, in ANY FORM or fashion, no matter how unequivocal the statistics show she does a certain thing....you ladies would be harping and marching.

Further, sorry, whatever statistics one has that shows some overwhelming tendency for DV to be more a male perpetrated thing have long long long been deconstructed.

I will not fall into debate about it, because those who dont already know that wouldnt know it of there went a hundred years with nothing but female perpetrated DV. Game Over. People are by droves figuring it out. Watch the comments on main media sites when things like this come up, and realize that MRA's are not everywhere all the time....OR if they are, then their numbers are meaningful, and they are main stream. The reality is folks who have never even heard of an mra are writing and speaking out, the die is cast on this junk and it will soon be history.

Among even "accepted" statistics are some pretty powerful ones about moms. Imagine an ad that said something about moms and child abuse or child murder. I really cant understand how people of integrity can sit and watch this stuff anymore.

 

[Conservativation]

The part of that add that really troubled me was the statistical implication that boys who are abused are going to become MONSTERS

themselves.


Now don't anyone tell me that a boy who is watching this PSA is going to feel good about himself if he has been the victim of abuse. He's going to feel destined to be a MONSTER! Congratulations Verizon! You have now contributed to the nightmares of countless young boys.

As a DV survivor myself, I felt doomed by the rage that I had. I felt that it was inevitable and that I was assured failure. I screwed up in my first year as a husband and I found an accountability partner (confessed to my pastor) immediately. I then had to manage my behavior and monitor my anxiety level. I never want my wife to fear me the way we feared dad.

Saying that the PTSD I've suffered. The nightmares, are quite often more about the hurt I could potentially cause others more than any I've had done to me. I've killed my father countless times (and forgiven him more). I've woke up many times throwing punches and screaming in a puddle of sweat. (I sleep facing away from DW). The monster meme is BAD NEWS.

I need to be convinced that by God's grace that I AM NOT one, not have it confirmed to me. I wouldn't want my son, or the kids on my hockey team to EVER feel as if they were doomed to become monsters......that sickens me.

Raise "awareness" fine, all you want. Just please BE AWARE while you are doing it. Would it hurt anyone if this where more gender neutral? (Observe "Wounded Warrior" ads where a vast majority of warriors are men......try and Google a statistic).

Who is this ad supposed to be appealing to? Monsters? Future Monsters? Victims of Monsters? Future Victims of Monsters? Stumps me.

Great post...I too survived being a boy in the very worst of DV ....seriously bad stuff.

Never had to get an accountability partner, never hit women or kids , none of this. I realize they are trying to play up a statistic, that the statistic is that compared to a kid who has no DV experience the kid who has it has more likelihood. The numbers no doubt support that so as a true statement, I have no issue with it...math is math. I have an issue with why its said the way it is. This ad encourages NO ONE. It demonizes men, and condemns boys to be abusers. Period.

Funny how some respect statistics (its called a generalization.....guess what...it IS one, its a valid one folks, but this one doesn't bother anyone even though its as provocative as it gets, please you folks who pounce and go tell teacher whenever you see a generalization.....why not here?)

WWC maybe take it back down, just sayin, its not fodder for a good thread.

 

[Athene]

“Dads demonstrate against Verizon” By Attorney David Pisarra | National Coalition For Men (NCFM)

It's interesting that these MRAs take an adversarial approach to domestic violence support for women. It really just goes to show that their agenda isn't to provide dv support for men, but to destroy that which is in existence for women.

 

[Athene]

Look, the bottom line is IF as ad like this was about women, in ANY FORM or fashion, no matter how unequivocal the statistics show she does a certain thing....you ladies would be harping and marching.

Further, sorry, whatever statistics one has that shows some overwhelming tendency for DV to be more a male perpetrated thing have long long long been deconstructed.

I will not fall into debate about it, because those who dont already know that wouldnt know it of there went a hundred years with nothing but female perpetrated DV. Game Over. People are by droves figuring it out. Watch the comments on main media sites when things like this come up, and realize that MRA's are not everywhere all the time....OR if they are, then their numbers are meaningful, and they are main stream. The reality is folks who have never even heard of an mra are writing and speaking out, the die is cast on this junk and it will soon be history.

Among even "accepted" statistics are some pretty powerful ones about moms. Imagine an ad that said something about moms and child abuse or child murder. I really cant understand how people of integrity can sit and watch this stuff anymore.

It's about as powerful as statistics which show pet owners are vastly more likely to commit animal cruelty then non pet owners, tbh.