I can't get past being circumcised

[HalfoffSale]

I was circumcised as an infant. No botched procedure or anything, just routine procedure. I really wish I wasn't cut, but there's obviously no way to undo it. I've tried to just accept that's the way things are, but I can't. Every time something reminds me that I'm not normal, I'll become very bitter and depressed for a few days. It happens maybe once in a month and a half. I feel incomplete, I feel violated, and I feel like a freak. I live in a country where it is very uncommon to be circumcised. I've done research, and I can't help feeling like I'm missing out on sex with all those lost nerve endings, protection from head desensitization, and the gliding action.

It seems the only solutions are to put it behind you, or to try restoration. I can't put it past me, and not for lack of trying or appeals to the Lord for help, and I'm too scared to try restoration for fear of making things worse. Not having a foreskin I can't tell from the example videos how accurately the regrown one mimics the real thing.

I just want my foreskin back.

 

[Criada]

As a woman, I can't really relate to your specific issue, but I know how it is to feel something has been taken from you that can't ever be restored
All I can say is, keep taking it to God. And, I don't think that many women would be worried by it, so if that is a concern try not to worry about it.
Maybe if it continues to bother you, you could ask your doc to put you in touch with someone who has had restoritive surgery and could answer your questions.
Praying that you can get past this, brother.

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using CF

 

[Johnnz]

Many men have been circumcised. You are not 'not normal' just one of two possible variations.

John
NZ

 

[HalfoffSale]

As a woman, I can't really relate to your specific issue, but I know how it is to feel something has been taken from you that can't ever be restored
All I can say is, keep taking it to God. And, I don't think that many women would be worried by it, so if that is a concern try not to worry about it.
Maybe if it continues to bother you, you could ask your doc to put you in touch with someone who has had restoritive surgery and could answer your questions.
Praying that you can get past this, brother.

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using CF

Thanks for the encouragement. I will keep talking to God, but at this point I'm feeling it's on me to get past. There's only so much God will hold my hand through, the rest I have to help myself with.

I'm really not concerned what women think, it's for me. I feel less complete, not whole, and like I'm probably missing out on sensation and functionality that God wanted me to have.

And I'm wondering if part of why I can't get past it is that there's no outlet. I can't blame the doctor or my parents, they were just doing what they thought was best, even if they were wrong. There's no accident or medical reason for it either to point to. It just happened to me for absolutely no reason or benefit, so there's nowhere to move towards to move past it.

I've thought about talking to a doctor about restoration, but most don't know anything about it. It's not a surgery. I don't want to get into too much detail here, but it involves a weight that looks like a tuba mouthpiece, some tape, and about 2 years. Think when people stretch their ears for those earrings. There are hundreds of glowing testimonials online about the benefits, but I can't believe someone would devote 2 years to hanging a weight and go "whelp, that didn't change anything." Honestly I'm too afraid of being even more of a freak if I tried it. At least women know what a circumcised one looks like. I'd be even more depressed if I ended up with some weird third type.

Many men have been circumcised. You are not 'not normal' just one of two possible variations.

John
NZ

Even if you say that, I can't see it as anything else. Only about 15% of men globally have been cut, which puts me in a strong minority. But just because it has happened to other people too doesn't make it normal. Not to be rude to amputees but plenty of people are missing a leg, doesn't make them one of two possible variations of normal. Of course their pain is infinitely worse, but I still can't see it as anything other than not normal. Every time I look in the mirror I'm reminded I'm not as God intended me to be. I'm different. Not normal.

 

[1watchman]

Thanks for the encouragement. I will keep talking to God, but at this point I'm feeling it's on me to get past. There's only so much God will hold my hand through, the rest I have to help myself with.

I'm really not concerned what women think, it's for me. I feel less complete, not whole, and like I'm probably missing out on sensation and functionality that God wanted me to have.

And I'm wondering if part of why I can't get past it is that there's no outlet. I can't blame the doctor or my parents, they were just doing what they thought was best, even if they were wrong. There's no accident or medical reason for it either to point to. It just happened to me for absolutely no reason or benefit, so there's nowhere to move towards to move past it.

I've thought about talking to a doctor about restoration, but most don't know anything about it. It's not a surgery. I don't want to get into too much detail here, but it involves a weight that looks like a tuba mouthpiece, some tape, and about 2 years. Think when people stretch their ears for those earrings. There are hundreds of glowing testimonials online about the benefits, but I can't believe someone would devote 2 years to hanging a weight and go "whelp, that didn't change anything." Honestly I'm too afraid of being even more of a freak if I tried it. At least women know what a circumcised one looks like. I'd be even more depressed if I ended up with some weird third type.



Even if you say that, I can't see it as anything else. Only about 15% of men globally have been cut, which puts me in a strong minority. But just because it has happened to other people too doesn't make it normal. Not to be rude to amputees but plenty of people are missing a leg, doesn't make them one of two possible variations of normal. Of course their pain is infinitely worse, but I still can't see it as anything other than not normal. Every time I look in the mirror I'm reminded I'm not as God intended me to be. I'm different. Not normal.

Friend, you seem to have a fixation (like unto "obsessive-compulsive" condition), for there is really no problem physical with circumcision. God gave it for Israel as a distinctive mark to be proud of, and the Gentile world often uses it to maintian cleanliness. The military used to require it for enlistees. It certainly does not affect sexual activity. Your problem is mental/emotional, and I suggest some professional counsel if you continue to be greatly troubled over this; else, you will become incapacitated by your obsession.

- 1 Watchman

 

[HalfoffSale]

Friend, you seem to have a fixation (like unto "obsessive-compulsive" condition), for there is really no problem physical with circumcision. God gave it for Israel as a distinctive mark to be proud of, and the Gentile world often uses it to maintian cleanliness. The military used to require it for enlistees. It certainly does not affect sexual activity. Your problem is mental/emotional, and I suggest some professional counsel if you continue to be greatly troubled over this; else, you will become incapacitated by your obsession.

- 1 Watchman

I know it's a fixation. I even had severe OCD when I was younger with constantly washing my hands. Admitting it is only the first step though, and I can't seem to move onto the next ones.

People tell me there's no physical difference, but I can't believe them. There's 20,000 nerves removed, and the warnings on adult circumcision involve "overly sensitive exposed head" rubbing against your underwear. If it doesn't bother me that it rubs, it's less sensitive by definition. Whether it's true or not, my brain tells me sex is worse for me than it should be, especially after learning all the other lies I had been told as to why it was done.

I've thought about professional help, but I don't have that sort of money to spend, and I get the impression most councilors won't really care how I feel about it. Most people who are also cut don't seem to really care, and berate me for caring about it.

If I ever meet Kellogg in Heaven (yes, the cereal guy), I'm going to punch him square in the jaw.

 

[1watchman]

You will not likely ever get rid of the problem until you accept what is being told to you. If you cannot accept the counsel given, friend, you will keep going back to your false assumptions. That is the way OCD works. You need faith outside of yourself.

I think you recognize your reasoning is faulty, but you keep trying to defend it and blame others. You need to place trust in the counsel you have received as fact, and you need to call upon God in faith and trust Him. This all means to get outside of your own psyche and stop listening to your fixed thoughts.

Now, since I do not suppose you are a real Christian yet, I recommend you do the following, which I often recommend to serious seekers:

"There is a danger of intellectualizing God, rather than coming personally in faith (see Heb. 11:6). Here is something one should do:

Three things need to be appreciated to find God, be saved for eternity and enjoy His blessings (read all these verses in your Bible ---for God speaks through His Word):

1) Go into your "closet” (Mt. 6:6) --private place away from other people; show reverence and speak humbly with your Creator-God, giving much thanks for all His mercies;
2) Confess and own you are a sinner before God as He says of all mankind (see Rom. 3:11-26); and state you want to be saved, obey, and live for Him;
3) Confess to Him you are now receiving God's beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, into your heart as your Savior (read 1 Jn. 5:10-13), and give thanks honestly to the Lord Jesus for His sacrifice on the cross and suffering for you.

If you honestly do all that in sincere communion, you can go forth happy in your soul, walking and talking with the Lord Jesus, knowing from God's promises you have done all that is required in the Bible to be saved. The Lord Jesus will truly come and make His “abode” in you by the Holy Spirit, and you will be sealed as a child of God forever (read all of John 3 and note John 14:23; and Eph. 1:13).

It is really simple, but many miss salvation by taking short-cuts and follow religious ways and their own ideas, and are not honest and faithful in talking to the Savior. Be sure to also read your Bible daily.

The above thoughts show that which is involved, but actually one can simply cry to the Lord Jesus to save oneself, and if done in real faith and trust in Him, God will do the work, convince one, and come unto him/her."

So, friend, get serious about trusting and knowing God, and follow this counsel. Look up always! I am praying for you.

- 1 Watchman

 

[Phoenix92885]

I have sympathy for you in this ordeal but I have a question and please don't take offense to it. Are you sure you're bothered by the fact that you are circumcised or are you bothered by the fact that you had no control over it?

Phoenix

 

[united4Peace]

Be glad that you are circ'd as imagine having to be circ'd when your in your 80's! Also...much easier to do Cath's on those who are circ'd

 

[HalfoffSale]

You will not likely ever get rid of the problem until you accept what is being told to you. If you cannot accept the counsel given, friend, you will keep going back to your false assumptions. That is the way OCD works. You need faith outside of yourself.

I think you recognize your reasoning is faulty, but you keep trying to defend it and blame others. You need to place trust in the counsel you have received as fact, and you need to call upon God in faith and trust Him. This all means to get outside of your own psyche and stop listening to your fixed thoughts.

That's the problem though. I know I'm not trusting the council given to me, but why should I? I was told it was necessary to prevent UTIs, but 85% of the world's population seems to have no problem with it. Even if you get one it's an easy round of antibiotics to fix. I was told it helps prevent AIDs and STDs, but babies are not having sex, and adults are smart enough to use condoms and pick partners. I was told it makes no difference to sensation, but the whole thing started in America to make masturbation not pleasurable. That tells me it changes how it feels. I was told it prevents things like phimosis, but that only effects 1/1000 men. I was told it was medical opinion to do it, but it turns out not a single medical society on the planet recommends it. I was lied to for every reason, so why should I believe them when they tell me I'm not missing anything from sex?

I have sympathy for you in this ordeal but I have a question and please don't take offense to it. Are you sure you're bothered by the fact that you are circumcised or are you bothered by the fact that you had no control over it?

Phoenix

I'm sure that has a huge part do do with it. Doesn't make solving the problem any easier though. Even if it was such that the sensitivity was not changed at all and I could believe it, I'm still stuck with the knowledge my member isn't normal at all because of something out of my control, and worse something where someone was "doing what they think is best" so I can't even blame an accident or malicious intent. I've got no outlet to blame for why I was mutilated, and theres no way to go back to having a normal member.

Be glad that you are circ'd as imagine having to be circ'd when your in your 80's! Also...much easier to do Cath's on those who are circ'd

So you're saying I could go though my entire life with a normal and sensitive penis, or have it mutilated on the off chance I not only live to 80, but need a catheter put in, and even then it's only moderately less uncomfortable? I think I'd take the first 60 years of using it right, though I'll never get that chance.





The other day I considered buying a silicone foreskin they sell called senslip(google it in private) just to see if it would help the feelings go away. I don't care if I can't fix it(I think), but I just want it to stop making me bitter. No matter what I try I can't. It kills me that I'm considering resorting to wearing a darn sock over my penis for a few months just to see if it really has been desensitized due to exposure to clothing. Why would God put me through something like this? It was stolen from me and I just can't deal with it. I'll never get past it. I'm doomed to be bitter.

 

[united4Peace]

That's the problem though. I know I'm not trusting the council given to me, but why should I? I was told it was necessary to prevent UTIs, but 85% of the world's population seems to have no problem with it. Even if you get one it's an easy round of antibiotics to fix. I was told it helps prevent AIDs and STDs, but babies are not having sex, and adults are smart enough to use condoms and pick partners. I was told it makes no difference to sensation, but the whole thing started in America to make masturbation not pleasurable. That tells me it changes how it feels. I was told it prevents things like phimosis, but that only effects 1/1000 men. I was told it was medical opinion to do it, but it turns out not a single medical society on the planet recommends it. I was lied to for every reason, so why should I believe them when they tell me I'm not missing anything from sex?



I'm sure that has a huge part do do with it. Doesn't make solving the problem any easier though. Even if it was such that the sensitivity was not changed at all and I could believe it, I'm still stuck with the knowledge my member isn't normal at all because of something out of my control, and worse something where someone was "doing what they think is best" so I can't even blame an accident or malicious intent. I've got no outlet to blame for why I was mutilated, and theres no way to go back to having a normal member.



So you're saying I could go though my entire life with a normal and sensitive penis, or have it mutilated on the off chance I not only live to 80, but need a catheter put in, and even then it's only moderately less uncomfortable? I think I'd take the first 60 years of using it right, though I'll never get that chance.





The other day I considered buying a silicone foreskin they sell called senslip(google it in private) just to see if it would help the feelings go away. I don't care if I can't fix it(I think), but I just want it to stop making me bitter. No matter what I try I can't. It kills me that I'm considering resorting to wearing a darn sock over my penis for a few months just to see if it really has been desensitized due to exposure to clothing. Why would God put me through something like this? It was stolen from me and I just can't deal with it. I'll never get past it. I'm doomed to be bitter.

I have no idea what a catheter has to do with being circ'd We Catheterize men regardless of if they are circ'd or not circ'd. Im a female and Ive even had a catheter!
Many people live into their 80's! 80 year olds are swimming, hiking, bowling, very active for another words. Sheesh I know 80-90 yr olds that have sex!! And yes many men in that age range who are not circ'd end up getting circ'd as they get infections that do not clear up.

Im still trying to figure out why you think catheters have any thing at all to do with circ's?

 

[mjmcmillan]

I'm circumcised, I was circumcised as a baby--- so just like Half-Off I had no control over it. Unlike the OP, though, I never got obsessed over this.

Of course, circumcision has nothing whatsoever to do with having or not having to have a catheter in place, that's two separate issues.

Now, what do we do? Go through the rest of life being bitter and angry at everybody-- maybe even including being angry at God since in certain societies circumcision is done for religious as well as possible medical reasons? That seems to me to be a colossal waste of time, and since some of the anger might be directed at God for this, time can become eternal--- are we really sure we want to waste an eternity being bitter over something like this? I think not.

Besides, in Paul's writings we're told not to worry about this anyway. If you came into the Faith uncircumcised, don't seek to be circumcised, and if you came in circumcised don't seek to be uncircumcised--- because either circumcision or uncircumcision of the flesh counts for nothing, God wants us to be "circumcised in the Spirit", which marks us now as distinctly His people.

 

[HalfoffSale]

I have no idea what a catheter has to do with being circ'd We Catheterize men regardless of if they are circ'd or not circ'd. Im a female and Ive even had a catheter!

I misunderstood you, I thought that's what you meant when you said:

Be glad that you are circ'd as imagine having to be circ'd when your in your 80's! Also...much easier to do Cath's on those who are circ'd

What is a Cath then?

And yes many men in that age range who are not circ'd end up getting circ'd as they get infections that do not clear up.

And many men don't ever have to get it done. At least those who have to get it done later have a say in the matter, and got to experience the full sensitivity. I get to always be inferior primarily because a guy that sold cereal thought men shouldn't enjoy sex.

I'm circumcised, I was circumcised as a baby--- so just like Half-Off I had no control over it. Unlike the OP, though, I never got obsessed over this.

Now, what do we do? Go through the rest of life being bitter and angry at everybody-- maybe even including being angry at God since in certain societies circumcision is done for religious as well as possible medical reasons? That seems to me to be a colossal waste of time, and since some of the anger might be directed at God for this, time can become eternal--- are we really sure we want to waste an eternity being bitter over something like this? I think not.

That's what I'm trying to do. I'd love to just be able to shrug is off as no big deal and move on with my life, but I just can't. Maybe once a month something will remind me I'm inferior, and I'll be stuck dwelling on it bitterly for a few days regardless of how much I wish I could be thinking of other things.

Take this time for instance. I live in a country where it's normal to go to public bath houses, and next month all my coworkers are going. I was invited along. I'm virtually guaranteed to be the only one who is cut. People always talk about "oh, I need to cut him so the other cut boys don't laugh at him," but imagine how much worse it is to be the only one who is cut. So now I'm in for a few days of being utterly bitter that I'll be the only one standing out with a mutilated looking, unnatural, less sensitive penis.

 

[united4Peace]

I misunderstood you, I thought that's what you meant when you said:



What is a Cath then?




And many men don't ever have to get it done. At least those who have to get it done later have a say in the matter, and got to experience the full sensitivity. I get to always be inferior primarily because a guy that sold cereal thought men shouldn't enjoy sex.

Sorry...what I meant by that was, it is easier to catheterize a male who has been circ's as one does not have to pull back on the foreskin, however that said, both circ'd and uncirc'd males have catheters (from young boys to elderly men).
Anyways, I have to disagree about that many men do not have to get circ'd later in life.

Dr. Sam Kunin in Los Angeles points out that "As a urologist with extensive experience with our aging population I have been called to nursing homes on an emergency basis several times for paraphimosis induced when disoriented men have pulled their foreskin back and the nurses could not reduce the paraphimosis. This can cause gangrene of the distal skin and possible damage to the penis itself. It requires immediate emergency intervention." Dr. Kunin also points out that "if the paraphimosis cannot be reduced manually an emergency dorsal slit must be performed."
Another problem he highlights is "inability to catheterize due to a tight foreskin, which becomes worse when the patient cannot wear a condom catheter. In this group of people, local irritation, odor and infection is a serious problem among many uncircumcised males. These problems will only multiply as our aging population continues to grow."
• Paraphimosis induced when disoriented men have pulled their foreskin back and the nurses could not reduce the paraphimosis. This can cause gangrene of the distal skin and possible damage to the penis itself. It requires immediate emergency intervention. If the paraphimosis cannot be reduced manually an emergency dorsal slit must be performed.
• Inability to catheterize due to a tight foreskin, which becomes worse when the patient cannot wear a condom catheter.

Circumcision - Physical Problems

Here's a link to a journal discussing how circ'd men have less of a risk of cancer than circ'd..
thought it was interesting...
History of Circumcision, Medical Conditions, and Sexual Activity and Risk of Penile Cancer​

 

[united4Peace]

Here are a few more links to medical journals discussing circumcision...

Why circumcision is a biomedical imperative for th... [Bioessays. 2007] - PubMed - NCBI

This one discusses the health benifits and risks...
Male circumcision: assessment of health be... [Sex Transm Infect. 1998] - PubMed - NCBI

I cant find anything that says sex is better with or without...one that I found stated that they had a mixed review...

 

[HalfoffSale]

Sorry...what I meant by that was, it is easier to catheterize a male who has been circ's as one does not have to pull back on the foreskin, however that said, both circ'd and uncirc'd males have catheters (from young boys to elderly men).
Anyways, I have to disagree about that many men do not have to get circ'd later in life.

Here's a link to a journal discussing how circ'd men have less of a risk of cancer than circ'd..
thought it was interesting...
​

The rate of penile cancer in white men is 0.8/100,000. Hardly a reason to take it without my permission

Here are a few more links to medical journals discussing circumcision...


This one discusses the health benifits and risks...

I cant find anything that says sex is better with or without...one that I found stated that they had a mixed review...

The medical reasoning always seems like it's being come up with after the fact to justify the circumcision. Prevents phimosis? That only effects less than 10% of men, and even then is curable with stretching exercises, or a circumcision at the time. Prevents HPV and AIDs? I'm not sleeping around, and I use condoms. Not really a reason to alter me. The entire thing started as a way to prevent boys from masturbating my making it not feel as good. The medical stuff all came after. That's not sound practice. All the reasons are absolutly worthless, I can't believe it's even a question as to take a knife to your baby or not.


I mean I wake up and look in the mirror, and see a penis that looks wrong. It looks unnatural and deformed. I think to myself how I'm missing out in the best of sex and masturbation, some of God's greatest gifts to mankind, and for absolutely no reason. Not due to disease, or an accident, or phimosis, or anything. Just because my culture likes mutilating little boys. And standing there before my daily morning shower, I'm supposed to take solace in the fact that should I choose not to shower for the next week I'll still be able to avoid the 1/100 chance I get an easilly curable mild irritation? That is a terrible deal. How is anyone able to accept that was done to them? Why is it even a quesiton? Why was no one there to protect me. Now I'm stuck with being inferior for the rest of my life, never knowing what God had intended for me.

I can't yet link to the article about decreased sensitivity, but google the British Journal of Urology's assessment.​

 

[visionary]

I was circumcised as an infant. No botched procedure or anything, just routine procedure. I really wish I wasn't cut, but there's obviously no way to undo it. I've tried to just accept that's the way things are, but I can't. Every time something reminds me that I'm not normal, I'll become very bitter and depressed for a few days. It happens maybe once in a month and a half. I feel incomplete, I feel violated, and I feel like a freak. I live in a country where it is very uncommon to be circumcised. I've done research, and I can't help feeling like I'm missing out on sex with all those lost nerve endings, protection from head desensitization, and the gliding action.

It seems the only solutions are to put it behind you, or to try restoration. I can't put it past me, and not for lack of trying or appeals to the Lord for help, and I'm too scared to try restoration for fear of making things worse. Not having a foreskin I can't tell from the example videos how accurately the regrown one mimics the real thing.

I just want my foreskin back.

Women will find you more appealing, more pleasing, more stimulating, ....it is all good.

 

[mjmcmillan]

One of the best things about banging your head against the wall is that it feels so good when you stop.

Now, it's way past time to stop obsessing about this. It was done, likely for religious reasons (I can't get into your parent's heads of course to know for sure) and in that case you have to go back a few thousand years for the start of circumcision of infants. It's part of the Law handed down through Moses, and dates back before then to Abraham at least. So, trying to say it's relatively new just won't fly. In my case, it was done because here in Chicago during the middle part of the last century nearly all male infants were circumcised because it was believed to help prevent diseases.

In any case, it's done and we're stuck, for whatever reason, with what now is. Personally, I never noticed that it caused me any great hardship either in bed or, in the case where I worked at a factory where showering before going home was a necessity, that it made me feel inferior to other men, some of whom weren't circumcised. I have enough other problems to deal with at the moment, so getting upset about a decision made by my parents and my doctor 56 years ago doesn't rate too high today-- as long as those decisions don't grossly affect my ability to function normally.

I would say you're handicapped, though. Not by your circumcision, which really isn't as big a problem as you're making it, but rather by your obsession about it. Stop banging your head against the wall, it'll feel better when you stop.

 

[united4Peace]

The two above posts are both true...

That said yes many men do get circ'd when they are older due to infections...I've seen it...and its not pretty at their age due to the pain. Just think you dont remember the pain! My sons never...they actually didnt even cry except for the restraining of arms and legs.
Many other people have things done to their bodies which werent there or were there when they were born.
Lets see...one of our kids had their frenulum under the tongue snipped...should I have left that alone and left him with a speech impediment?
Some women get breast reductions. Should they just have to suffer through back pain due to the size of their breasts because God made them what they are?
Some people are born with 6 toes or fingers and in many cases that extra digit is cut off.
Some people get moles removed (could be cancerous)...
or skin tags...
Some are born with both male and female parts...the physicians usually check the hormones to see what that person has more of and then removes say the penis if the person has more female hormones.
Some people will have a piece of their bowel cut out and wear a bag...could you imagine going to this pool your going to with an ostomy bag? I know a few that have one or have had a temp ostomy and guess what...life goes on!
Not everyone will look the same or have the same parts in life...as the above said...get over it...and as the poster said prior to that...lots of us women prefer it circ'd. Though we dont marry the person we do because they have been circ'd or not circ'd. We really could care aless

 

[mjmcmillan]

Luke 2:21, And when eight days were completed before His circumcision, His name was then called Jesus, the name given by the angel before He was conceived in the womb.

NASB

I had occasion to look this up earlier today, and it brings up a question. It's like this: Mary and Joseph brought Jesus to the Temple to carry out the requirements of the Law concerning male children, and first born males in particular since Jesus was their first child. One of the requirements for every male in Israel from the time of Moses was to be circumcised on the eighth day from birth, and the first born was Sacred to God, and was to be redeemed by sacrifice-- in this case, two turtledoves were required.

So, here's the question: Who wants to volunteer to tell Jesus that He is incomplete as a Man because He was circumcised as an infant, as required by the Law??? Do I see a show of hands??? Hmmm, OK, that's kinda what I thought.