Migdala- Thanks for the book ideas. I believe i have the Battlefield Of The Mind. By Joyce Meyers? Anyways, Ill look at that book.
Again, I want to thank everyone for the insight and recommendations and warm welcome back. The past couple of days have been a struggle for me. I still feel that "dull" feeling in my chest. Especially when I pray. I honestly feel like Im disconnected from God. I havent felt that explosion of life from him yet. I keep praying and asking him to come to me and make my life worth something.
I hope someday soon this comes true and believe in my heart that I am saved and a true agent for God. Pray for me.
Thank You,
Jack
Jack,
Please remember that salvation is not about feelings or thoughts. Feelings and thoughts are man's territory on earth. GOD operates in the spiritual realm where it is about faith. We are saved by grace, through faith in Jesus. Faith in Jesus does not make sense to our thought processes. Faith in Jesus does not stimulate our senses with which we feel, nor our emotions with which we also "feel". No, it is a matter of trust. Trust transcends thoughts and feelings. Trust is knowing without evidence of thoughts and feelings. Trust is knowing when our thoughts tell us it is irrational to do so. Trust is knowing when our feelings fail to grasp the unconditional love of GOD to us, for us, and toward us. If you are a father, think about the look you got from your babies when they were oh so tiny in your arms. Or the looks they gave to their mommy.
These tiny little humans trust mommy and daddy without reservation because they must. It is inbred in them to do so. They know mommy. They know daddy. When they are hungry daddy can only comfort them until he produces no milk for them. Then, only mommy can satisfy their need. When they are wet or soiled, either mommy or daddy can meet their need and comfort them. They cry out to alert mommy and daddy to a need, not yet wants. Little babies only have needs. They rely upon their parents to supply those needs. They cry out and the needs are met. They begin to know that their needs will be met when they alert their parents. Soon, their needs are met before they cry out, because their parents know that it is time to meet the baby's need on schedule. Sometimes though, the baby still cries out, just to be close to mommy and daddy. It has a need to be close; to be held; to be loved physically through cuddle, even though its diaper is dry and clean and its tummy is full of mommy's milk, and they are fully rested. Even though mommy and daddy are just in the other room and they love them unconditionally from the other room, the baby wants to be reassured by touch. They cannot see mommy and daddy, so they want to be reassured that they are still close at hand.
As adult children of GOD, we cry out at times to make GOD aware of our needs. Sometimes we cry out to GOD, even though our needs are met. We just want to be spiritually cuddled by our Father in Heaven. We want to feel His presence and know that He is there. Not that He is in the other room, but our spiritual eyes, even though we know He is everywhere at all times, want to see Him at work. We want to be comforted and cuddled by Him, just for reassurance. As we grow up in His family as Christians and allow sanctification to take place in our lives, we, like our own children, begin to just know that He loves us unconditionally, even though we cannot necessarily see Him. We know, that if we fall down and scrape our knees and hands, He is going to come to us and meet our needs when we cry out.
It is a matter of trust. Not feelings. Not thoughts. TRUST which springs from FAITH.
Brother Jack, right now, I am praying that Jesus will comfort you with His Holy Spirit. I pray that the Holy Spirit will instill in you more faith, more trust, more understanding and more knowledge that GOD loves you unconditionally and will always be there to meet your needs. I pray that GOD will give you the ability to set aside your emotions and trust HIM. That you can set aside your thoughts and trust HIM. That even when GOD seems so far away, you KNOW that HE is and that HE is there to cuddle you spiritually. I pray that as you step out in faith, that GOD will provide the invisible stepping stones that appear at just the right moment to hold you up, as His disciple learned when he stepped out of the boat onto the water to meet Jesus on the lake instead of in the lake. And Father, I pray that just as Jesus grabbed His beloved disciple in his moment of doubt, that YOU oh LORD, would reach out and take Jack's hand and lift him up out of the world of feelings and thoughts, and bring him solidly into the spiritual world of faith and trust in YOU.
I pray this in Jesus' holy and precious Name, that Name that is above all other names,
Let it be so Father,
Amen
Be blessed,
Lee52