Athena returned the Spear

[Nathan Poe]

"Thetis of the silver feet came to the house of Hephaistos,
imperishable, starry, and shining among the immortals,
built in bronze for himself by the god of the dragging footsteps.
She found him sweating as he turned here and there to his billows
busily, since he was working on twenty tripods
which were to stand against the wall of his strong-founded dwelling.
And he had set golden wheels underneath the base of each one
so that of their own motion they could wheel into the immortal
gathering, and return to his house: a wonder to look at."
-- Homeros, poet, Iliad, XVIII:369-377, 8th century B.C.

Which has absolutely nothing to do with anything -- Your parody has degenerated into gibberish.

Time to call it a day, Aggie.

 

[Agonaces of Susa]

Which has absolutely nothing to do with anything

It's called the Iliad.

You should try reading it sometime so you know what celestial weapons are.

Know your history.

 

[Nathan Poe]

It's called the Iliad.

You should try reading it sometime so you know what celestial weapons are.

Know your history.

The ancient Greeks have a history of celestial weapons?

Really, Aggie, your parody is moving quickly from the sublime to the ridiculous. Whatever point you were trying to make about the asinine nature of fundamentalism, you're seriously running the risk of burying it under irrelevent nonsense.

 

[laconicstudent]

Why would the gods grant the Greek's "celestial weapons"?

After all:

And Aphrodite who loves eternal laughter/ sobbed in answer, "The son of Tydeus stabbed me,/ Diomedes, that overweening, insolent-- all because/ I was bearing off my son from the fighting. Aeneas--/ dearest to me of all the men alive. Look down!/ It's no longer ghastly war for Troy and Achaea--/ now, I tell you, the Argives fight the gods!"

 

[Split Rock]

And on that, Aggie, I'm offically calling you out. Poe's Law strikes again.

Why are you convinced that Agonaces of Susa is really Aggie? I had him pegged as one of Speakout's sockpuppets.

 

[Nathan Poe]

Why are you convinced that Agonaces of Susa is really Aggie? I had him pegged as one of Speakout's sockpuppets.

Actually, I'm using "Aggie" as a nickname -- I too am pretty sure it's speakout.

 

[Agonaces of Susa]

The ancient Greeks have a history of celestial weapons?

You would know that if you'd ever read the Iliad. Obviously you've never read the Iliad. You really should sometime. <staff edit>

 

[Nathan Poe]

You would know that if you'd ever read the Iliad. Obviously you've never read the Iliad.

Never tried reading it as actual literal history -- that's probably consistent with a history of mental health, Agster*

(Please note that this is also a use of an affectionate nickname, and not to imply that I think AoS is a sock puppet for our old friend Ikester, who is currently lording over his own forum so as not to be laughed at by us any more)

 

[Agonaces of Susa]

Never tried reading it as actual literal history

You're not alone.

People who have faith in scientism never take actual history seriously.

"...I believe it is only fair to acknowledge an underlying and totally sincere scientific disbelief in the historical record." -- Ralph E. Juergens, engineer, 1972

But at least one archaeologist named Schliemann did in fact believe in the history. And for this reason he discovered Troy, became the most famous archaeologist in world history, and his wife wore Priam's jewels. The actual jewels that scientists don't believe in.

As usual, the scientists and history deniers were left with egg all over their faces. But they're used to it.

The same scientists who denied Homer and the existence of Troy now deny the Holocaust.

As you can see, scientists haven't learned anything from history and they likely never will.

Scientists are too closed minded to take historical and archaeological evidence seriously or to learn anything from history.

 

[Nathan Poe]

You're not alone.

People who have faith in scientism never take actual history seriously.

And people who don't drink whiskey for breakfast never read epic poetry as "actual history."

Any reason I should partake in Happy Hour?

"...I believe it is only fair to acknowledge an underlying and totally sincere scientific disbelief in the historical record." -- Ralph E. Juergens, engineer, 1972

What "historical record" is he referring to? Or do you not know/care?

But at least one archaeologist named Schliemann did in fact believe in the history. And for this reason he discovered Troy, became the most famous archaeologist in world history, and his wife wore Priam's jewels. The actual jewels that scientists don't believe in.

As usual, the scientists and history deniers were left with egg all over their faces. But they're used to it.

Troy exists, therefore The Iliad is real.
In the same logic, Kansas exists, therefore The Wizard of Oz is real.

You had best come up with a snappy retort, else people are going to lose interest in your parody.

The same scientists who denied Homer and the existence of Troy now deny the Holocaust.

As you can see, scientists haven't learned anything from history and they likely never will.

Scientists are too closed minded to take historical and archaeological evidence seriously or to learn anything from history.

Not snappy enough. Get it right or get gonged.

 

[TerranceL]

Using Aggies logic Stephen Kings "The Stand" is real.

And I'm frightened to think that someone actually believes that the Illiad is a real accounting.

 

[Nathan Poe]

Using Aggies logic Stephen Kings "The Stand" is real.

And I'm frightened to think that someone actually believes that the Illiad is a real accounting.

Which is why I called Poe's Law on this one -- the key to a good parody is to be delusional, but still functional. Too many would-be Poes overdo it.

 

[laconicstudent]

This is really starting to freak me out.


But anyways, I've always liked this bit

Like Mercury head to foot, the voice, the glow,/ the golden hair, the bloom of youth on his limbs/ and his voice rang out with warnings once again:/ "Son of the goddess, how can you sleep so soundly/ in such a crisis? Can't you see the dangers closing/ around you now? Madman! Can't you hear the Westwind/ ruffling to speed you on? That woman spawns her plots,/ mulling over some desperate outrage in her heart,/ lashing her surging rage, and she's bent on death./ Flee headlong while you can! You'll soon see/ the waves a chaos of ships, lethal torches flaring,/ the whole coast ablaze, if now a new dawn breaks/ and finds you still malingering on these shores./ Up with you now. Enough delay. Woman's a thing/ that's always changing, shifting like the wind."/ With that he vanished into the black night.