[2009-06-15] Change Is Possible for Gays, Says Psychologist

[katholikos]

Change Is Possible for Gays, Says Psychologist

Of course it is. There is an entire Catholic apostolate devoted to it:


Courage - CLICK HERE

 

[Fantine]

Of course it is. There is an entire Catholic apostolate devoted to it:


Courage - CLICK HERE

But what they are offering is help in changing one's behavior--not in changing one's sexual orientation. I agree that it's possible to change behavior, but one's basic orientation remains the same.

And I think that it is very possible for gay men to be exemplary priests. If heterosexual men can be celibate, so can gay men.

I know that this is a controversial statement, but I think that they offer special gifts to the priesthood because they are more in touch with their feminine, intuitive sides.

Courage's goals:

1. Live chaste lives in accordance with the Roman Catholic Church's teaching on homosexuality. (Chastity)
   
2. Dedicate ones life to Christ through service to others, spiritual reading, prayer, meditation, individual spiritual direction, frequent attendance at Mass, and the frequent reception of the sacraments of Reconciliation and Holy Eucharist. (Prayer and Dedication)
   
3. Foster a spirit of fellowship in which all may share thoughts and experiences, and so ensure that no one will have to face the problems of homosexuality alone. (Fellowship)
   
4. Be mindful of the truth that chaste friendships are not only possible but necessary in a chaste Christian life and in doing so provide encouragement to one another in forming and sustaining them. (Support)
   
5. Live lives that may serve as good examples to others. (Good Example/Role Model)

Changing to a heterosexual orientation isn't a "goal," because it is deemed an impossible dream.

 

[JacktheCatholic]

With the Grace we receive from God we are given all we need to live righteous and holy lives. It is this grace that a homosexual will use to correct themself.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

I haved no doubt that it is possible to change behavior, because gay people have been adapting their behavior to fit into society for years. Often their marriages are very troubled, and, lately at least, sometimes spouses have left to form unions with same-sex partners. My friend's brother did this about five years ago, to the shock of his children (who eventually came around and supported his decision.)

It's also possible to beat alcoholism and other dysfunctional addictions, although 12 step groups would say that those who have done so are "recovering" rather than "cured."

50 years ago there was lots of support for the decision to "live a lie" and I think it was easier than the alternative. Nowadays there is little support for that choice, and I just hope that those who make it won't "punish" their spouses, eventually, emotionally abandoning them simply because they are who they are. I hope they would be straight with them, "I am a 'cured' gay man or woman," because at least then their spouses would be in on the 'secret' and alert for the need for counseling, etc.

Married Men who are really Gay (on the down low) is epidemic. I don't throw this out as a frivolous one liner, but it is quite common. Look at any rest area or public bathroom, most who frequent these illicit meeting spots are "Heterosexual" males living the lie.
I mean we are all familiar with the politician with tthe wide stance in the stal ahem. Ever wonder why all the cars are empty at the rest stop ? Thats because all the married men are off in the woods getting their freaks on.

But one thing is clear to me, whenever it gets boring here in the forums, someone trots out the obligatory Gays bad story. It is if Gays are human Pinatas, and it is deemed ok to call them evil. Well I truly believe Christ when he says :

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness.

 

[JoabAnias]

But one thing is clear to me, whenever it gets boring here in the forums, someone trots out the obligatory Gays bad story. It is if Gays are human Pinatas, and it is deemed ok to call them evil. Well I truly believe Christ when he says :

I hope you don't think that was ever the intent of this thread or Zenits article or the Church.

It was intended to be informative.

If you think the the thread is abusive I can request, as the OP, that the mods close it. Should I?

I don't want any hard feelings.

 

[JoabAnias]

I guess this is great considering that the Church holds a homosexual orientation as being intrinsically and objectively evil because it leads one to sin.

I think this statement is completely off base with Church teaching.

Can you show me anything at all from the Church that claims the orientation is intrinsically evil?

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

I hope you don't think that was ever the intent of this thread or Zenits article or the Church.

It was intended to be informative.

If you think the the thread is abusive I can request, as the OP, that the mods close it. Should I?

I don't want any hard feelings.

It wasn't you, your free to post. I don't believe on impinging on someones freedom of speech. But some people use words such as evil, and I personally believe the intent is malevolent. When someone posts hundreds of times on the topic of homosexuality, it begs the question.

I hope that people realize, that there can be young and impressionable people who lurk on these posts, and when they continually get called evil, it can lead to unintended consequences.

May God forgive these people, because I believe they will need it.

 

[SolomonVII]

As in every moral disorder, homosexual activity prevents one's own fulfillment and happiness by acting contrary to the creative wisdom of God. The Church, in rejecting erroneous opinions regarding homosexuality, does not limit but rather defends personal freedom and dignity realistically and authentically understood.

The letter by the future Pope Benedict XVI deserves a lot more attention than it has received thus far. In it is the context in which we as Catholics are being beckoned toward, when it comes to discerning truth in scientific research as pertaining to the topic at hand.

Every point in it is pure gold- it is hard to cherry pick what deserves more mention. In terms of science for example, being scientific does not mean accepting the deterministic, materialistic world view that most scientists have. Such a world view is not scientific. It is the faith that many modern scientist now hold to, and it colors (taints) their work, but it is based on their own inner prejudices toward their work more than their work itself.

Science is value-free by definition. Our humanity is not. We are called to greater truths than science itself is capable of uncovering for us. Accepting limitations of the scientific method is useful for the confines of science. It is harmful to live our whole lives as if science contained the only truths that are worthwile.
When we are viewing science and truth though the world view of Catholic faith rather than the deterministic faith of materialism, we are being no less scientific than those scientists who see their work through the eyes of determinism and materialism.

That is an impoortant point.
It is also important to recognize that we, as Catholics, do not identify with the wisdom of the world which sees accepting homosexuality as a healthy lifestyle as good, and the authentic Catholic teaching as hurtful.

Indeed, the wisdom of the ages suppports the observances of this age which brings us to an awareness of how hurtful homosexuality is, not so much to society, but to homosexuals themselves.

It is the pursuit of happiness of the homosexuals themselves that ought to motivate all Catholics to speak out with one voice with Cardinal Ratzinger on the issue.
On a personal level we can afford to be indifferent to the harm that this lifestyle is wreaking upon those who are living the life.
But once we are aware, it is our faith itself that is calling us to evangelize where happiness truly may be found.

 

[SolomonVII]

But one thing is clear to me, whenever it gets boring here in the forums, someone trots out the obligatory Gays bad story. It is if Gays are human Pinatas, and it is deemed ok to call them evil.

This is a rather unfortunate statement for you to be making. Even if you were addressing a specific post rather than some generality that has not yet been specified, or that can only be seen if reading between the lines of what this or that poster has written, what is most unfortunate is that the Catholic Church has given us answers that make the same point with love and pastoral concerns.

Rather than attacking unspecified people for making the Catholic message poorly, given that the forces for acceptance of the gay lifestyle are so powerful, we need you to be giving the message of Christ with all the love and sophistication that our teaching affords us.

The Catholic teaching is one of love of life and hatred of sin that destroys life.If you can make a better argument for the Catholic teaching here than has the case, please do so now.

This is the time and the place for us to hear your arguments for the Church.

 

[SolomonVII]

Originally Posted by BAFRIEND

I guess this is great considering that the Church holds a homosexual orientation as being intrinsically and objectively evil because it leads one to sin.
​

JbA: I think this statement is completely off base with Church teaching.

Can you show me anything at all from the Church that claims the orientation is intrinsically evil?

Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.

I don't think that Bafriends statement is the best representation of what Cardinal Ratzinger was telling us in his letter, nor would I say that it is entirely off base

The orientation in itself is not a sin, not intrinsically evil, but there is a high probability that it will lead to grave sin and grave evil.

The inclination is am "objective disorder", according to Cardinal Ratzinger. This is something akin to cancer. We don't normally describe having cancer as a sin-those with cancer are not sinners on account of their cancer- but we do tend to regard cancer as an 'evil' nevertheless, something that we struggle against and make every effort not to succumb to.

 

[JoabAnias]

I don't think that Bafriends statement is the best representation of what Cardinal Ratzinger was telling us in his letter, nor would I say that it is entirely off base

The orientation in itself is not a sin, not intrinsically evil, but there is a high probability that it will lead to grave sin and grave evil.

The inclination is am "objective disorder", according to Cardinal Ratzinger. This is something akin to cancer. We don't normally describe having cancer as a sin-those with cancer are not sinners on account of their cancer- but we do tend to regard cancer as an 'evil' nevertheless, something that we struggle against and make every effort not to succumb to.

Thank you, that clarifies and is how I understand it as well and not how that statement was coming off at all.

I can't help but reason many ways a heterosexual orientation can be attributed to leading to intrinsic evils when deviated from the moral norm as well.

Concupiscence itself is a disorder.

 

[JoabAnias]

It wasn't you, your free to post. I don't believe on impinging on someones freedom of speech. But some people use words such as evil, and I personally believe the intent is malevolent. When someone posts hundreds of times on the topic of homosexuality, it begs the question.

I hope that people realize, that there can be young and impressionable people who lurk on these posts, and when they continually get called evil, it can lead to unintended consequences.

May God forgive these people, because I believe they will need it.

Thank you.

If you think the thread degrades beyond a tenor germane to normal discourse within a civil society just let me know and I will ask for closure.

On track with the OP;

I have struggled back and forth with the question addressed by the article in both a secular and theological regard through my studies for more than a decade and this isn't my only issue with the integrity of the APA. I think entirely to much stock has been placed on secular diagnosis in several regards.

There is just so much unanswered by its own devices. And I agree that there is no need to demonize anyone. Inferred prejudice seems likely the cause for political overtones by the APA in the first place.

I think we all need forgiveness and every time we leave the confessional we know that we are.

Peace.

 

[katholikos]

Of course it is. There is an entire Catholic apostolate devoted to it:


Courage - CLICK HERE

But what they are offering is help in changing one's behavior--not in changing one's sexual orientation.......

Kinda like AA does for alcholics, right? Alcoholics will tell you that they will be alcoholics for the rest of their lives, but they manage their disorder and keep it in check using AA, and nobody seems to have a problem with that approach.

 

[SolomonVII]

Thank you, that clarifies and is how I understand it as well and not how that statement was coming off at all.

I can't help but reason many ways a heterosexual orientation can be attributed to leading to intrinsic evils when deviated from the moral norm as well.

Concupiscence itself is a disorder.

Heterosexual orientation is never to be considered intrinsiclly disordered. therein lies the difference. It is an orientation of the form that may lead to life-giving behavior. Even as the bad boys are sowing their wild oats they are opening themselves up to the civilizing effects that women have on the male of the species.

And comparing what we are talking about to concupiscence may be conceived of as neutralizing the seriousness of the discssion, giving way to the forces in society that view the Church teaching as unhip, uncool, mean-spirited.

Expanding the context of the original statement of the cardinal, this is what he is warning us against.
How did we go from the statement in 1975 to the point where(below) Cardinal Ratzinger notes how many Catholics see an intrinsic disorder as a good?
I would suggest that the messagewill be seen as uncool anyways, with or without overstatements by some Catholics. There is just no nice way to say that the sexual orientation is 'intrinsically disordered".

Cool people cannot evangelize this without becoming as uncool as Bafriend is now considered to be.

3. Explicit treatment of the problem was given in this Congregation's "Declaration on Certain Questions Concerning Sexual Ethics" of December 29, 1975. That document stressed the duty of trying to understand the homosexual condition and noted that culpability for homosexual acts should only be judged with prudence. At the same time the Congregation took note of the distinction commonly drawn between the homosexual condition or tendency and individual homosexual actions. These were described as deprived of their essential and indispensable finality, as being "intrinsically disordered", and able in no case to be approved of (cf. n. 8, $4).
In the discussion which followed the publication of the Declaration, however, an overly benign interpretation was given to the homosexual condition itself, some going so far as to call it neutral, or even good. Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.
Therefore special concern and pastoral attention should be directed toward those who have this condition, lest they be led to believe that the living out of this orientation in homosexual activity is a morally acceptable option. It is not.

 

[Tigg]

Married Men who are really Gay (on the down low) is epidemic. I don't throw this out as a frivolous one liner, but it is quite common. Look at any rest area or public bathroom, most who frequent these illicit meeting spots are "Heterosexual" males living the lie.
I mean we are all familiar with the politician with tthe wide stance in the stal ahem. Ever wonder why all the cars are empty at the rest stop ? Thats because all the married men are off in the woods getting their freaks on.

But one thing is clear to me, whenever it gets boring here in the forums, someone trots out the obligatory Gays bad story. It is if Gays are human Pinatas, and it is deemed ok to call them evil. Well I truly believe Christ when he says :

My goodness! The things one learns on the net. Anyhow's, IMO only. There are true gays and wanna be's. I have no sympathy for wanna be's. For those truly gay, I have no advice to give them. I can only treat those who "come out" with the respect I want to be treated with. I am tired of the same sex marriage deal. Which I will never see as marriage no matter what law says otherwise. But that doesn't mean I have to be mean about it. Maybe all hetro's who commit fornication or adultery ought to clean their own house of sin up first. Something in the bible about the plank in your own eye.

Thanks to all posting as this thread is interesting and ah-hem, giving knowledge. Anyhow's God help and bless us all.

 

[D'Ann]

Back when I used to frequent CF more often, when I was first aware of my homosexual orientation, I was told that the Church believes that change isn't possible and that homosexuals should remain celibate in life. This was the overwhelming advice/information given in a multi-page thread.

It was one thing I liked about the Church, as I believe 'change' is damaging and impossible (on a regular basis; God can indeed turn water red or the sky green, but I mean as in it's possible on a regular basis etc., like the ability to boil water is, etc.). This due to my own experiences and the experiences of homosexuals (Catholic, Protestant, as well as atheist) that I know.

And if anyone is curious, I am not sure if I will be celibate or engage in same-sex relations. Feel free to flame me for that, but it's something I struggle with very often. I am so far celibate/a virgin, and that is something I am very proud of. More than I can say for every single one of my friends... (most are heterosexual by the way).

But I know I will not 'change'. I have some experience with it, again.

I'm repeating myself, apologies; so can anyone clarify (particularly old school OBOB, <3) for me? Not just political statements, I mean what the church says/teaches/practices.

I know of Courage, which advocates celibacy for Catholic homosexuals, and know it is 'Church-sanctioned'.

Hi CeeBee,

It's nice to see you here again.

I'm not sure what the official Church teaching is on this one... in Catholic terminalogy.

My understanding is that no matter if a person is genetically, socially, environmentally homosexual... the bottom line is that we all have free will and ultimately it is up to each individual to listen to the Holy Spirit and follow His guidance when it comes to these things in one's life.

I believe that the official Church teaching is that if a person doesn't change their sexual orientation that leans towards homosexuality, then it is best for them to remain celibate. If by some miracle, a person can sincerely and truly change towards being heterosexual... then they can marry the opposite sex and have children and so forth...

My heart goes out to anyone who leans towards the same sex because it is a lonely life for those who are true to the Catholic Church teachings and my hope and prayer is that somehow they are blessed with a warmth of love from Christ that goes much deeper than any relationship that one can have with another here on earth.

 

[JoabAnias]

Expanding the context of the original statement of the cardinal, this is what he is warning us against.

I agree that is exactly what is being said.

How did we go from the statement in 1975 to the point where(below) Cardinal Ratzinger notes how many Catholics see an intrinsic disorder as a good?

That question gets to the point of the OP and I believe the political pressure by the APA to rationalize an unproven biological connection without scientific support is a part of that answer.

That is said not to rule out any genesis of potential reasoning that may come to light in evidence, simply not to apply theory as factual basis which has been the case since the change to the DSM-IV-TR. I believe, that while common opinion accepting the biological plausibility as factual has stemmed prejudice it has, at the same time, has done a disservice to the facts and moral acceptance of society.

I am left wondering, if science cannot, or perhaps simply has not yet, identified concrete evidence to refute the natural law, which I believe it never will, then what is left to look at beside the natures of the soul.

Jesus loved all in purity regardless of gender. Though we are certainly not God by any stretch, we are all called to emulate the Lord so perhaps the misuse of any God given faculties, regardless of orientation, is merely a byproduct of our inherent concupiscence as addressed by our common struggle to overcome.

Again, regardless of orientation; If we were to confess our adulteries and debaucheries should not we all be afforded the same understanding of our weakness as similarly, any abomination of the natural law shall surely lead to anything but an affirmation of life and perhaps even more convolutely and insidiously. We all must choose God over ourselves in some form or another and that reality alone should be humbling. In forgiveness of our brothers and ourselves within the same salvation and healing offered to all.

Peace be with you.

 

[JoabAnias]

Kinda like AA does for alcholics, right? Alcoholics will tell you that they will be alcoholics for the rest of their lives, but they manage their disorder and keep it in check using AA, and nobody seems to have a problem with that approach.

I have been taught that the first step to healing is submission to the condition. There are many crosses to carry in this world.

 

[BelindaP]

I've always wondered why somebody doesn't start up a matchmaking service for gays and lesbians. Celibate gays could be paired with celibate lesbians so they could be married. Marriage very often ends up being more about partnership and companionship than sex anyhow.

 

[JoabAnias]

Marriage very often ends up being more about partnership and companionship than sex anyhow.

Marriage is about sexual union.

• MARRIAGE

As a natural institution, the lasting union of a man and a woman who agree to give and receive rights over each other for the performance of the act of generation and for the fostering of their mutual love.
The state of marriage implies four chief conditions: 1. there must be a union of opposite sexes; it is therefore opposed to all forms of unnatural, homosexual behavior; 2. it is a permanent union until the death of either spouse; 3. it is an exclusive union, so that extramarital acts are a violation of justice; and 4. its permanence and exclusiveness are guaranteed by contract; mere living together, without mutually binding themselves to do so, is concubinage and not marriage.

Christ elevated marriage to a sacrament of the New Law. Christian spouses signify and partake of the mystery of that unity and fruitful love which exists between Christ and his Church, helping each other attain to holiness in their married life and in the rearing and education of their children.

• MARRIAGE BOND

The moral union between husband and wife once they have exchanged their marriage vows. It is a natural bond when either one or both parties are not baptized; it is supernatural when both are baptized.


*Here is some of what the Catholic Church teaches about what constitutes a marriage:


IV. THE EFFECTS OF THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY

1638 "From a valid marriage arises a bond between the spouses which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive; furthermore, in a Christian marriage the spouses are strengthened and, as it were, consecrated for the duties and the dignity of their state by a special sacrament."142

The marriage bond

1639 The consent by which the spouses mutually give and receive one another is sealed by God himself.143 From their covenant arises "an institution, confirmed by the divine law, . . . even in the eyes of society."144 The covenant between the spouses is integrated into God's covenant with man: "Authentic married love is caught up into divine love."145

1640 Thus the marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be dissolved. This bond, which results from the free human act of the spouses and their consummation of the marriage, is a reality, henceforth irrevocable, and gives rise to a covenant guaranteed by God's fidelity. The Church does not have the power to contravene this disposition of divine wisdom.146

The grace of the sacrament of Matrimony

1641 "By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God."147 This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple's love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace they "help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children."148

1642 Christ is the source of this grace. "Just as of old God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Savior, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of Matrimony."149 Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, to "be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ,"150 and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love. In the joys of their love and family life he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb:

How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by the Church, strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels, and ratified by the Father? . . . How wonderful the bond between two believers, now one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in the same service! They are both children of one Father and servants of the same Master, undivided in spirit and flesh, truly two in one flesh. Where the flesh is one, one also is the spirit.151

V. THE GOODS AND REQUIREMENTS OF CONJUGAL LOVE

1643 "Conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter - appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility. In a word it is a question of the normal characteristics of all natural conjugal love, but with a new significance which not only purifies and strengthens them, but raises them to the extent of making them the expression of specifically Christian values."152

The unity and indissolubility of marriage

1644 The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouses' community of persons, which embraces their entire life: "so they are no longer two, but one flesh."153 They "are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving."154 This human communion is confirmed, purified, and completed by communion in Jesus Christ, given through the sacrament of Matrimony. It is deepened by lives of the common faith and by the Eucharist received together.

1645 "The unity of marriage, distinctly recognized by our Lord, is made clear in the equal personal dignity which must be accorded to man and wife in mutual and unreserved affection."155 Polygamy is contrary to conjugal love which is undivided and exclusive.156

* The fidelity of conjugal love

1646 By its very nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses. This is the consequence of the gift of themselves which they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an arrangement "until further notice." The "intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of the children, demand total fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable union between them."157

1647 The deepest reason is found in the fidelity of God to his covenant, in that of Christ to his Church. Through the sacrament of Matrimony the spouses are enabled to represent this fidelity and witness to it. Through the sacrament, the indissolubility of marriage receives a new and deeper meaning.

1648 It can seem difficult, even impossible, to bind oneself for life to another human being. This makes it all the more important to proclaim the Good News that God loves us with a definitive and irrevocable love, that married couples share in this love, that it supports and sustains them, and that by their own faithfulness they can be witnesses to God's faithful love. Spouses who with God's grace give this witness, often in very difficult conditions, deserve the gratitude and support of the ecclesial community.158

1649 Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble.159

1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery"160 the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God's law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.

1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:

They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God's grace.161

* The openness to fertility

1652 "By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory."162
Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves. God himself said: "It is not good that man should be alone," and "from the beginning [he] made them male and female"; wishing to associate them in a special way in his own creative work, God blessed man and woman with the words: "Be fruitful and multiply." Hence, true married love and the whole structure of family life which results from it, without diminishment of the other ends of marriage, are directed to disposing the spouses to cooperate valiantly with the love of the Creator and Savior, who through them will increase and enrich his family from day to day.163

1653 The fruitfulness of conjugal love extends to the fruits of the moral, spiritual, and supernatural life that parents hand on to their children by education. Parents are the principal and first educators of their children.164 In this sense the fundamental task of marriage and family is to be at the service of life.165

1654 Spouses to whom God has not granted children can nevertheless have a conjugal life full of meaning, in both human and Christian terms. Their marriage can radiate a fruitfulness of charity, of hospitality, and of sacrifice.

VI. THE DOMESTIC CHURCH

1655 Christ chose to be born and grow up in the bosom of the holy family of Joseph and Mary. The Church is nothing other than "the family of God." From the beginning, the core of the Church was often constituted by those who had become believers "together with all [their] household."166 When they were converted, they desired that "their whole household" should also be saved.167 These families who became believers were islands of Christian life in an unbelieving world.

1656 In our own time, in a world often alien and even hostile to faith, believing families are of primary importance as centers of living, radiant faith. For this reason the Second Vatican Council, using an ancient expression, calls the family the Ecclesia domestica.168 It is in the bosom of the family that parents are "by word and example . . . the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children. They should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each child, fostering with special care any religious vocation."169

1657 It is here that the father of the family, the mother, children, and all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way "by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity."170 Thus the home is the first school of Christian life and "a school for human enrichment."171 Here one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous - even repeated - forgiveness, and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering of one's life.

1658 We must also remember the great number of single persons who, because of the particular circumstances in which they have to live - often not of their choosing - are especially close to Jesus' heart and therefore deserve the special affection and active solicitude of the Church, especially of pastors. Many remain without a human family often due to conditions of poverty. Some live their situation in the spirit of the Beatitudes, serving God and neighbor in exemplary fashion. The doors of homes, the "domestic churches," and of the great family which is the Church must be open to all of them. "No one is without a family in this world: the Church is a home and family for everyone, especially those who 'labor and are heavy laden.'"172

IN BRIEF

1659 St. Paul said: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church. . . . This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the Church" (Eph 5:25, 32).

1660 The marriage covenant, by which a man and a woman form with each other an intimate communion of life and love, has been founded and endowed with its own special laws by the Creator. By its very nature it is ordered to the good of the couple, as well as to the generation and education of children. Christ the Lord raised marriage between the baptized to the dignity of a sacrament (cf. CIC, can. 1055 &#167; 1; cf. GS 48 &#167; 1).

1661 The sacrament of Matrimony signifies the union of Christ and the Church. It gives spouses the grace to love each other with the love with which Christ has loved his Church; the grace of the sacrament thus perfects the human love of the spouses, strengthens their indissoluble unity, and sanctifies them on the way to eternal life (cf. Council of Trent: DS 1799).

1662 Marriage is based on the consent of the contracting parties, that is, on their will to give themselves, each to the other, mutually and definitively, in order to live a covenant of faithful and fruitful love.

1663 Since marriage establishes the couple in a public state of life in the Church, it is fitting that its celebration be public, in the framework of a liturgical celebration, before the priest (or a witness authorized by the Church), the witnesses, and the assembly of the faithful.

1664 Unity, indissolubility, and openness to fertility are essential to marriage. Polygamy is incompatible with the unity of marriage; divorce separates what God has joined together; the refusal of fertility turns married life away from its "supreme gift," the child (GS 50 &#167; 1).

1665 The remarriage of persons divorced from a living, lawful spouse contravenes the plan and law of God as taught by Christ. They are not separated from the Church, but they cannot receive Eucharistic communion. They will lead Christian lives especially by educating their children in the faith.

1666 The Christian home is the place where children receive the first proclamation of the faith. For this reason the family home is rightly called "the domestic church," a community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian charity.


*Though there is nothing preventing a homosexual friendship from being fraternal, the natural law prevents it from ever being procreative.


LAW OF NATURE

The moral law as universally binding on human nature, unchangeable in its essence, and knowable to all mankind. The law of nature is universally binding no matter how many people may violate it. Its universality of its observance. No matter how many or flagrant the transgressions, they do not change the value or extent of the law.

The law of nature is adaptable but not essentially changeable. There have been modifications adopted at one time or another in the law. On closer study, however, they are seen to be in fact changes in circumstances or in matters to which the law is applied. What cannot change is the substance of the law itself.

Also the law of nature can be perceived, however dimly, by every human being who has the full use of his or her reason. Certain social customs, clearly in opposition to this law, do not change the fact that it can be perceived by all. What such customs prove is that is that fallen human nature is prone to evil and need divine assistance as revelation even for a correct and generally available knowledge beyond the primary duties of the moral order. Obscured by passion and exposed to the moral pollution of secularist culture, human reason is weakened in its perception of what is right and wrong. Nevertheless its light is not completely extinguished, and besides, having access to revelation, the light of grace is also always available.


*Here is some of what the Catholic Church teaches about what constitutes the natural law:


I. THE NATURAL MORAL LAW

1954 Man participates in the wisdom and goodness of the Creator who gives him mastery over his acts and the ability to govern himself with a view to the true and the good. The natural law expresses the original moral sense which enables man to discern by reason the good and the evil, the truth and the lie:

The natural law is written and engraved in the soul of each and every man, because it is human reason ordaining him to do good and forbidding him to sin . . . But this command of human reason would not have the force of law if it were not the voice and interpreter of a higher reason to which our spirit and our freedom must be submitted.5

1955 The "divine and natural" law6 shows man the way to follow so as to practice the good and attain his end. The natural law states the first and essential precepts which govern the moral life. It hinges upon the desire for God and submission to him, who is the source and judge of all that is good, as well as upon the sense that the other is one's equal. Its principal precepts are expressed in the Decalogue. This law is called "natural," not in reference to the nature of irrational beings, but because reason which decrees it properly belongs to human nature:

Where then are these rules written, if not in the book of that light we call the truth? In it is written every just law; from it the law passes into the heart of the man who does justice, not that it migrates into it, but that it places its imprint on it, like a seal on a ring that passes onto wax, without leaving the ring.7 The natural law is nothing other than the light of understanding placed in us by God; through it we know what we must do and what we must avoid. God has given this light or law at the creation.8

1956 The natural law, present in the heart of each man and established by reason, is universal in its precepts and its authority extends to all men. It expresses the dignity of the person and determines the basis for his fundamental rights and duties:

For there is a true law: right reason. It is in conformity with nature, is diffused among all men, and is immutable and eternal; its orders summon to duty; its prohibitions turn away from offense . . . . To replace it with a contrary law is a sacrilege; failure to apply even one of its provisions is forbidden; no one can abrogate it entirely.9

1957 Application of the natural law varies greatly; it can demand reflection that takes account of various conditions of life according to places, times, and circumstances. Nevertheless, in the diversity of cultures, the natural law remains as a rule that binds men among themselves and imposes on them, beyond the inevitable differences, common principles.

1958 The natural law is immutable and permanent throughout the variations of history;10 it subsists under the flux of ideas and customs and supports their progress. The rules that express it remain substantially valid. Even when it is rejected in its very principles, it cannot be destroyed or removed from the heart of man. It always rises again in the life of individuals and societies:

Theft is surely punished by your law, O Lord, and by the law that is written in the human heart, the law that iniquity itself does not efface.11

1959 The natural law, the Creator's very good work, provides the solid foundation on which man can build the structure of moral rules to guide his choices. It also provides the indispensable moral foundation for building the human community. Finally, it provides the necessary basis for the civil law with which it is connected, whether by a reflection that draws conclusions from its principles, or by additions of a positive and juridical nature.

1960 The precepts of natural law are not perceived by everyone clearly and immediately. In the present situation sinful man needs grace and revelation so moral and religious truths may be known "by everyone with facility, with firm certainty and with no admixture of error."12 The natural law provides revealed law and grace with a foundation prepared by God and in accordance with the work of the Spirit.

IN BRIEF

1975 According to Scripture the Law is a fatherly instruction by God which prescribes for man the ways that lead to the promised beatitude, and proscribes the ways of evil.

1976 "Law is an ordinance of reason for the common good, promulgated by the one who is in charge of the community" (St. Thomas Aquinas, STh I-II, 90, 4).

1977 Christ is the end of the law (cf. Rom 10:4); only he teaches and bestows the justice of God.

1978 The natural law is a participation in God's wisdom and goodness by man formed in the image of his Creator. It expresses the dignity of the human person and forms the basis of his fundamental rights and duties.

1979 The natural law is immutable, permanent throughout history. The rules that express it remain substantially valid. It is a necessary foundation for the erection of moral rules and civil law.

1980 The Old Law is the first stage of revealed law. Its moral prescriptions are summed up in the Ten Commandments.

1981 The Law of Moses contains many truths naturally accessible to reason. God has revealed them because men did not read them in their hearts.

1982 The Old Law is a preparation for the Gospel.

1983 The New Law is the grace of the Holy Spirit received by faith in Christ, operating through charity. It finds expression above all in the Lord's Sermon on the Mount and uses the sacraments to communicate grace to us.

1984 The Law of the Gospel fulfills and surpasses the Old Law and brings it to perfection: its promises, through the Beatitudes of the Kingdom of heaven; its commandments, by reforming the heart, the root of human acts.

1985 The New Law is a law of love, a law of grace, a law of freedom.
1986 Besides its precepts the New Law includes the evangelical counsels. "The Church's holiness is fostered in a special way by the manifold counsels which the Lord proposes to his disciples in the Gospel" (LG 42 &#167; 2).