So-cd

[marcb]

The journey has been like this:

1. Bad thoughts = hell (original obsession)
2. OCD is no excuse for the bad thoughts (insanity plea doesn't excuse the "crime."
3. Maybe it is just ocd and it's excusable.
4. Now I get to obsess over whether it was ocd. (New obsession)
5. It's an eternal consequence, so I must prove it was or wasn't ocd beyond a shadow of a doubt. (Perpetuation of obsession)
6. Ok so it's ocd = acceptance
7. Woa! That was too "me" to be ocd (anxiety)
8. See # 1
9. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
10. Did I mention that I'm sorry? (compulsion)
11. Here comes that condemned "feeling" again.
12. I have ocd. This may happen again. It may or may not be ocd. It's a waste of time to try to decide if it's ocd or not. I live under God's grace. I am no better, no worse than any other human -- ill or well, guilty or innocent. My justification comes from Christ, not my ability to stop, erase, or undo thoughts. Doubts may return, they may or may not be ocd. I may even feel "that hellish feeling." The sooner I do, the sooner I realize that I am "living in my head." I think James says "faith without works is dead." That means even the good thoughts are in essence useless if I do nothing about them. So why worry about the bad thoughts? Maybe I should worry that the good thoughts are ocd if I'm not going to do anything about them (e.g., live my faith).

SO! Maybe thoughts are thoughts, faith is not just a collection of thoughts. If this is the case, maybe "un-faith" is not the collection of bad thoughts. Sadly, "un-faith" may be a collection of good thoughts, that remain just that - a collection. We're talking life, not coins, stamps, or butterflies.....

 

[kaykay9.0]

What can I say? Classic OCD, Marc. I think most of us have spun through that cycle you've described. Recognizing, however, that the ENTIRE thing is OCD is one of the most significant steps out...at least it was for me especially with that particular obsession.

 

[QUannie]

Thanks for the reminder, i really needed it!!!!

Q

 

[seajoy]

The journey has been like this:

1. Bad thoughts = hell (original obsession)
2. OCD is no excuse for the bad thoughts (insanity plea doesn't excuse the "crime."
3. Maybe it is just ocd and it's excusable.
4. Now I get to obsess over whether it was ocd. (New obsession)
5. It's an eternal consequence, so I must prove it was or wasn't ocd beyond a shadow of a doubt. (Perpetuation of obsession)
6. Ok so it's ocd = acceptance
7. Woa! That was too "me" to be ocd (anxiety)
8. See # 1
9. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
10. Did I mention that I'm sorry? (compulsion)
11. Here comes that condemned "feeling" again.
12. I have ocd. This may happen again. It may or may not be ocd. It's a waste of time to try to decide if it's ocd or not. I live under God's grace. I am no better, no worse than any other human -- ill or well, guilty or innocent. My justification comes from Christ, not my ability to stop, erase, or undo thoughts. Doubts may return, they may or may not be ocd. I may even feel "that hellish feeling." The sooner I do, the sooner I realize that I am "living in my head." I think James says "faith without works is dead." That means even the good thoughts are in essence useless if I do nothing about them. So why worry about the bad thoughts? Maybe I should worry that the good thoughts are ocd if I'm not going to do anything about them (e.g., live my faith).

SO! Maybe thoughts are thoughts, faith is not just a collection of thoughts. If this is the case, maybe "un-faith" is not the collection of bad thoughts. Sadly, "un-faith" may be a collection of good thoughts, that remain just that - a collection. We're talking life, not coins, stamps, or butterflies.....

Beautifully put.

 

[David75]

My who has OCD believes in God but of course has those intrusive thoughts about going to hell and keeps repeating in her head unfortunately. I can not understand ICD completetly since ther are so many types of it,but I can pray for each and every one of you who lived with it since you were a young child. I'm sure a lot of you felt weird trying to figure out how to tell your parents you feel different somehow and were afraid to because they wouldn't understand.