Sleepless

[Faithful2]

Hello. I'm new to this forum and I'm glad to have you all to "talk" to in the middle of the night.

My husband died on February 6, 2008 after suffering an acute heart attack. He was feeling fine the day before, never had any symptoms prior to this, so his death was sudden and unexpected. We were married for over 30 years. We only recently had the empty nest when our youngest daughter moved out in August 2006.

I have never lived alone before in my entire life, and I hate it! I cry so hard that sometimes I think that I will also die - from sorrow. I can't sleep at night and wish I had someone to talk to in the middle of the night. I miss my husband so much. I feel so alone. I have been talking to the Lord at night, but I also need some people to talk to.

I'm so glad I found this forum where there are others going through the same thing. My heart goes out to all of you, because now I know what it is like to be widowed.

 

[JeanR]

Hello, Faith

My husband also died suddenly from a heart attack. No warning at all. We ate dinner at a restaurant and I left from there to go to church for a women's fellowship meeting. He took dinner home for our kids. He joked with them in the kitchen and they went into another room to play a video game. My son came back into the kitchen 10 minutes later and found him. The paramedics said he must have died as soon as the kids left the room because there was no bringing him back.

Terry died 17 months ago and I have cried everyday. I hate sleeping alone and have not truly slept in all this time. I did begin to take a sleeping pill 3 weeks under doctor's orders and it is the only way I can sleep.

Stay with us here, we look out for each other.

With love,
Jean

 

[TogetherForever]

My husband died unexpectedly in October 2005. It was a Sunday. We went to church, had lunch and came back home. We were planning on going for ice cream. He went to fix the rug in the basement and I fell asleep waiting for him on the sofa. When I awoke I went looking for him and found him on the basement floor and it was too late. I still feel like I'm living in a nightmare.

My daughter had gotten married in July 2005 and my son, 24, is still with me.

At first, I too could not sleep at night and I lost a lot of weight from not sleeping or eating

My whole life was my husband and children. My husband had started his own business 10 prior and we worked together. In church, we worked as a team in many ministries. We were never apart and I was totally dependent on him.

The past 2 1/2 years has been hard but God has been faithful and has helped me. When my husband passed, I thought we were doomed financially for he was the heart and soul of the company. My son-in-law was sent by God for he now runs the company with us.

God also allowed me to sell my house at a time when houses don't sell too quickly. I'm moving at the end of April. A few months ago I got my NJ realtor's license, something I never would have done before.

I'm sorry for rambling on, but I can see that in my life in the midst of a horrible situation, God has always been there to carry me through just as I know He will with you too.

I still have nights where I wake up in fear, and I don't know how I can go on. I miss my husband terribly. I have to always remind myself to keep my eyes on Jesus.

"I can do all things through God which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13

Miriam

 

[Faithful2]

Hello, Faith

My husband also died suddenly from a heart attack. No warning at all. We ate dinner at a restaurant and I left from there to go to church for a women's fellowship meeting. He took dinner home for our kids. He joked with them in the kitchen and they went into another room to play a video game. My son came back into the kitchen 10 minutes later and found him. The paramedics said he must have died as soon as the kids left the room because there was no bringing him back.

Terry died 17 months ago and I have cried everyday. I hate sleeping alone and have not truly slept in all this time. I did begin to take a sleeping pill 3 weeks under doctor's orders and it is the only way I can sleep.

Stay with us here, we look out for each other.

With love,
Jean

Jean,

I really feel for you. This is just something that we don't expect or even think of when we are going about our daily lives with our spouses. I'll put you on my prayer list - I'm writing it right now - "Pray for Jean who lost her husband, too".

I really don't like the idea of taking sleeping pills, but I don't know how long a person can go without regular sleep before they get sick from lack of sleep. I've been seeing a counselor, so I will mention it to her.

I'm not accustomed to focusing so much on myself, but that's what this grieving really is. I certainly am not sad for my husband. He is in the presence of God and he was "ready to go". He told me so before he passed away. I was with him at his moment of death.

I absolutely hate feeling this sorry for myself. I have always focused on helping others and not being self focused. I just can't seem to do it right now. Both of my jobs (I have a 3/4 time job and a half time job) involve working with needy people. I was always focused on taking care of my family, including my husband. Now I cry so much for myself and I can't sleep well. Do the sleeping pills help?

Your sister in Christ and on this journey,
Pat

 

[Faithful2]

My husband died unexpectedly in October 2005. It was a Sunday. We went to church, had lunch and came back home. We were planning on going for ice cream. He went to fix the rug in the basement and I fell asleep waiting for him on the sofa. When I awoke I went looking for him and found him on the basement floor and it was too late. I still feel like I'm living in a nightmare.

My daughter had gotten married in July 2005 and my son, 24, is still with me.

At first, I too could not sleep at night and I lost a lot of weight from not sleeping or eating

My whole life was my husband and children. My husband had started his own business 10 prior and we worked together. In church, we worked as a team in many ministries. We were never apart and I was totally dependent on him.

The past 2 1/2 years has been hard but God has been faithful and has helped me. When my husband passed, I thought we were doomed financially for he was the heart and soul of the company. My son-in-law was sent by God for he now runs the company with us.

God also allowed me to sell my house at a time when houses don't sell too quickly. I'm moving at the end of April. A few months ago I got my NJ realtor's license, something I never would have done before.

I'm sorry for rambling on, but I can see that in my life in the midst of a horrible situation, God has always been there to carry me through just as I know He will with you too.

I still have nights where I wake up in fear, and I don't know how I can go on. I miss my husband terribly. I have to always remind myself to keep my eyes on Jesus.

"I can do all things through God which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13

Miriam

Miriam,

Thank you for telling me your story - and no, you are not "rambling" on. It comforts me to know that there are others who are going through something similar.

I'm so glad that your husband got to be at your daughter's wedding. My daughter got married in Hawaii in September 2007 and had a big reception in Oregon in November 2007. We also had another daughter graduate from law school in June 2007 and pass her bar exam in October 2007, and get sworn in as one of Washington State's assistant attorneys general in November 2007. I'm so glad that my husband got to be with us for 2007 and these milestone events.

I'm glad that you have your son still with you. That must be comforting. Also, congratulations on getting your NJ realtor's license. I'm from NJ myself, but moved out west when I was in my mid-twenties.

I was not in business with my husband, nor did we work in the same ministry areas (I worked with kids and he was on the worship team), but I miss my husband terribly, too. The more time that passes, the more I become accustomed to making my way alone, but the more I just plain miss him, especially at night. That is why I cry so much. I just want him here. I know that I can support myself with my jobs and am confident in my career abilities, but I want him here at night to warm my bed, to share our dreams and ideas, to enjoy travel, to get help with making wise decisions, to pray with me, etc. He was my soulmate, my playmate, my best friend, my lover, and my brother in Christ.

Please write again when you want to "ramble". I will put you on my prayer list - "Pray for Miriam who lost her husband, too".

Your sister in Christ and on this journey,

Pat

 

[InHisCare]

It has been 1 1/2 years since I lost my husband. I remember thinking that I would never again sleep through the night. I went to the doctor soon after my husband's death because my anxiety attacks were non stop. He wanted me to go on tiit-depressants and sleeping pills. I'm sure that would be a help to some, but I chose not to go that way. With time my sleep has improved. My anxiety has decreased and some days I actually feel like a "normal" person. We each have to find our own way to a better place in our lives. I hope it is comforting to know that you will have better nights and days ahead of you. God is faithful, He never leaves us or forsakes us.
God Bless you!

 

[Faithful2]

It has been 1 1/2 years since I lost my husband. I remember thinking that I would never again sleep through the night. I went to the doctor soon after my husband's death because my anxiety attacks were non stop. He wanted me to go on tiit-depressants and sleeping pills. I'm sure that would be a help to some, but I chose not to go that way. With time my sleep has improved. My anxiety has decreased and some days I actually feel like a "normal" person. We each have to find our own way to a better place in our lives. I hope it is comforting to know that you will have better nights and days ahead of you. God is faithful, He never leaves us or forsakes us.
God Bless you!

Thank you so much. I need the reassurance that I will feel better some day and that I will be able to sleep better in the future. I have lost 10 pounds since my husband's death and haven't slept through the night yet. This is the most difficult thing that has ever happened to me. I talk to God every night, asking him to help me. It is a comfort to know that he is here with me.

Pat