Why I was bummed out.

[~ Gig ~]

Hey Nadiine I love your swap thread and have help many in there with lower stars and haven't expected anything in return.

Please don't close your thread many people enjoy it
Maybe someone should start a thread for those with less then 10 stars.

 

[Ariel]

This is too important.

First of all, Nadiine, I don't mean to hurt you. I am so sorry. If you want, I'll just wipe out everything I said.

Let me go through your response, so we can communicate better, hopefully.

Welp, if you guys want me to shut up and close down my rep swap thread I'll be glad to.

No, I don't want you to shut down the thread. Just be aware of the problem. It is a GOOD thread, and a GOOD idea. But there are also negative repercussions because of it.

that isn't THE problem - anyone can make threads here - they can feel free to make up ideas.
I was frankly tired of having to just "pass a rep to so and so" like an assembly line, i was looking for a gameplay thread for rep exchanging rather than "just pass it to me"...

If you guys want it shut down then that's what I'll do.
It wasn't designed that way by the way.

I know it wasn't. I know that your heart is good. I know that. You've also worked hard to make the rules clear, and to treat others well.

Here's why I designed it: people were complaining that as they helped people with NO stars gain, they themselves weren't getting many reps.
I wanted a better return on their reps so they could BUILD MORE AND FASTER then they could not only gain (ie. not suffer while focusing on helping others which 3 people specifically complained about and I felt bad for them) rep numbers, but also, some INTERACTION that would go on.

You've done that. You've helped those who have been helping others. I commend you for it.

I had other reasons for the thread.
I also tried to help them out when they showed up TO BUILD them into the system.

And this is one of the best things I see coming out of your thread. People are learning not just to rep and think that someone with 5X their reppage automatically should rep them. They are learning to realize that most often it needs to be a two-way exchange. This is awesome. I've tried to teach people that in my own forum. It sure didn't work

I cannot help if people didn't show up to play. Not many even bothered to play. I cannot help that.
But why should others who do have fun with it suffer or feel guilty?
Can't they start their own thread ideas with something similar? or ask me to????
:o

Well, that's just it. They don't start their own threads. They show up on yours and get hurt because they don't play by the rules.

People who play on it should feel no more guilty than those who can afford these high priced auctions that continue passing out stars for massive amounts that most don't have.

I hate those auctions. I agree.

There's alot of things we can pinpoint - one shouldn't be singled out - but if they want a 10 stars or less trade thread, I can start one, or just shut mine down.

I don't know if they would want it, and if they did, maybe they should start it. I don't know what the solution is on this.

Sorry I can't be more eloquent and "emotional" about it... I have real life issues that I'm dealing with that aren't helping my emotions rite now, I come here to try to FORGET about them....
and I"m out the door to get to run my errands so I can't sit and "cushion" my reply out. my apology for how this mite come out.

I will either set up a 10 & under rep swap thread, or shut mine down. This just is disheartening to me to tell you the truth. And I'm upset about it.

why do I get singled out for trying new thread ideas?

Nadiine, it's okay. Hopefully, my friendship with you is strong enough to handle even this disagreement.

I love you. I admire you. You have done so much good in this forum.

I also love the swap thread.

Please forgive me for hurting you, which I obviously did. I am so sorry.

 

[Springrain]

I just want to assure RepDaddy that we understand his concerns.

 

[Nadiine]

Hey Nadiine I love your swap thread and have help many in there with lower stars and haven't expected anything in return.

Please don't close your thread many people enjoy it
Maybe someone should start a thread for those with less then 10 stars.

Thanks Gig - What bothers me is people are made to feel guilty by others for having stars or not passing them enough -
the problem is the heart in my opinion. If people are angry and hurt then they should do something to figure something out.
I see this as greed or jealousy - am I wrong? I don't go complain about others auctions or Jonnys' star swap thread idea, let them do what they want.

My concern and anger is that people are being made to feel BAD that they have a high rep score that's above 20 or more.
My dear friend _beloved_ got insulted one morning about her high rep score and she was devestated and even contemplated turning hers off. That woman has done more to help people than I know - yet she was blasted for doing some trades. We were needing to pm her to make her NOT feel bad that she had high reps!

What is this?? It's just as wrong to make people feel BAD for having them isn't it?
Is there not a reverse problem going on here? Should it "fed" and coddled? I'm angry, hurt and raw right now about this -

this problem is rooted at rep greed as far as I can see it. Maybe I'm wrong.
And might I remind anyone that I spent at least 1-2 weeks coming up with at least 4-6 thread ideas that involved FELLOWSHIP repping.
NOBODY WANTED TO PLAY THEM. They're way back in the dusty pages of this forum if anyone cares to look at how many games I tried to get going instead of the assembly line games "JUST REP ME".
I tried many threads & nobody cared.

Now one works & people are angry.

People want reps thrown at them and if others found ways to move ahead or catch up, then they get attacked & nasty feelings start. I don't get this?

I didn't even know people were angry till I was "outed" about the thread - somebody could have talked to me privately than talk behind miy back in anger & disdain - that has me hurt too.

I don't know what to do right now - And yes Ariel it's true, EC and Iec and others do need that thread to catch up becuz they're gone all day & when they are home they don't have time to go thru all the threads and catch up. EC has privately pm'd me in thanks for helping him keep up with this forum. (and others).

I just need to process all this & let my emotions settle down - I'm just confused.
Is this rep envy? or what is it?
i hope you bear with me...

Gig, I won't shut the thread down until people start coming at my window at nite with torches & clubs....

 

[Nadiine]

I have wiped out this post.

In future I will keep my observations to myself.

Ariel I'm sorry - you're only relaying what you hear/think.

My problem is people are obviously gossiping and backbiting without bothering to PM it to tell someone privtely.
THAT is my problem and it's extremely hurtful to me.
I also don't like the coddling of bad attitudes - when people are envious or begruding of people who find ways to move up, they're attacked instead of rejoicing with them.

This is an issue and I've had 4 friends consider turning their reps off becuz of it. Is this right?
It is not.

Bella brought up that maybe staff will need to make some rules for forum threads - maybe they should. And if so, then those threads made should be where 'solutions' get created...

I don't know, but I didn't expect all this today. I am not mad at you, I"m just hurt, but I'll get over it.
=)

 

[Neokitty]

Hey people how ya doin'?

Nadiine, I just want to say I thimk your thread is a great idea. I don't have enough reps to swap there but I still go in and rep others there because it's fun doing it.

I wish someone would start a swap thread for us lower star people

Anyhoo just my 2 cents...God Bless all

 

[drstevej]

Gang, let folks do what they want here. We each have different preferences.

Folks like me that want more community focus can start and participate in the threads. Fun and interaction attracts people.

Folks who want to do auctions or swaps, that's fine too.

Different Strokes.

I do not want my thoughts to divide us and I do not expect my thoughts to make us clones.

We do not need rules as much as we need to let others be different and have a different slant on reps.

Make sense?

RD

 

[Spudgrandma]

Gang, let folks do what they want here. We each have different preferences.

Folks like me that want more community focus can start and participate in the threads. Fun and interaction attracts people.

Folks who want to do auctions or swaps, that's fine too.

Different Strokes.

I do not want my thoughts to divide us and I do not expect my thoughts to make us clones.

We do not need rules as much as we need to let others be different and have a different slant on reps.

Make sense?

RD

 

[Ariel]

Nadiine, I admire you. I care about you, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you.

No, I haven't coddled people when they've come to me. I've just listened and thought about it. Maybe I should have PMed you. I am sorry I didn't.

I'm not sure what the solution is, and maybe there is no solution.

So, maybe we need to ask what the problem is.

The focus of this subforum is repping and being repped. Maybe that's the problem.

 

[drstevej]

I care about you deeply, RD, even though I hardly know you. I've been touched again and again by your amazing generosity. I hope that I will be able to bless people as you do, everyday.

Hi Ariel, thank you You and so many have been an encouragement to me. After 5 years at CF I was ready to walk away for good and then this area was born. It has been a pleasure getting to know you and so many I never met on the other side of CF.

I hope it remains a place of friendship. And in doing that it takes some discussion of our differences and difficulties. That happens in any healthy family.

Blessings,
RD

 

[Nadiine]

Hey people how ya doin'?

Nadiine, I just want to say I thimk your thread is a great idea. I don't have enough reps to swap there but I still go in and rep others there because it's fun doing it.

I wish someone would start a swap thread for us lower star people

Anyhoo just my 2 cents...God Bless all

Neo , you're awesome. thank you for that.

I got some input not to shut it down - so I won't right now. I want anyone to know my heart was NOT to make it a "feast for the rich" type dealy - and I worked hard to get more participation from ALL levels.
I have many witnesses to that fact and I know my heart about it.

Neo, I'm going to try a Deal or No Deal Repzilla and Under thread for swapping that gets more interaction so more levels can all play too. (but higher reppers don't have to be exempt... they can drop in with HUGE bargain deals ) I like that idea!

I TRIED so hard to make it work across the board, it just hasn't happened. & this new thread mite not work either... I just don't know, but I will try it

I'm sorry about your thread RD, and I agree - we should let everybody play & make threads they enjoy - if people dislike it, please feel free to find new ways & make new threads that will gain you what you want instead of having issues against others.

 

[drstevej]

No prblem, Nadiine. The discussion has been good.

 

[Ariel]

Okay, I want to talk about....rep envy.

This is a Freudian issue, one that cannot be lightly addressed. Shall we all put on our gas masks?


My friends, seriously, if you think about it, some of rep envy has to do with growth.


Many reppers are envious because they are not progressing as fast as the "biggies." But if you analyze it, the "biggies" should progress faster, because they have more points to give. At ten stars, a site supporter can give out 400,000 rep points per day. At twenty stars that number is 800,000 per day.

If reps are about even, the "biggies" will grow faster.

Just a thought. It still doesn't tell us what to do about that bane, RE.

 

[twob4me]

 

[drstevej]

Eloquent. LOL

 

[Nadiine]

No prblem, Nadiine. The discussion has been good.

Ok, I'm glad you feel that way becuz I felt a strong need to spill a few things on how things look from where I stand too. Maybe it's for the best.

I want every rep level to feel good and protected here AND ABOVE ALL HAVE FUN. Think up of new thread ideas and keep this place hopping and busy.

Are you sure you Two?? lol

(gladly swapping places with my sister!! -runs & steps behind Two's back & peeks over her shoulder) LOL



I'm making a 1-10 star swap thread next - let's hope it takes off to bridge any gaps. If not, then I can't help what they don't want to participate in but hopefully it'll take off.

 

[Ariel]

Ok, I'm glad you feel that way becuz I felt a strong need to spill a few things on how things look from where I stand too. Maybe it's for the best.

I want every rep level to feel good and protected here AND ABOVE ALL HAVE FUN. Think up of new thread ideas and keep this place hopping and busy.



Are you sure you Two?? lol

(gladly swapping places with my sister!! -runs & steps behind Two's back & peeks over her shoulder) LOL




I'm making a 1-10 star swap thread next - let's hope it takes off to bridge any gaps. If not, then I can't help what they don't want to participate in but hopefully it'll take off.

It should take off. It's an awesome idea.

(((HUGS)))

 

[Ariel]

RD,

When you started this discussion, you obviously were upset. Have we addressed the issues you were upset about?

 

[Springrain]

There are more person than RD who are upset.

All truth is One…All reality is One….God’s Kingdome!
What comes from the heart leads us in all things even when it is a game we are playing.
They can not be separated into spiritual, worldly or even virtual reality.
When focus is on money, property ownership, or stars you go the way of the material world of Big, Up and More. When it becomes the agenda, then faith can fly out the window. There has to be faith and trust in God’s reality…trusting that things will work out. Our faith should reflect in all things. Our games should reflect our living faith.


Questions I ask myself are:

“Am I Loving my neighbors as myself?”.
“Am I pleasing God?”

“Could I give up my repps/stars…zero out my account and continue fellowship for Praise and Glory of God? I am considering this may have to be my action.

 

[Nadiine]

There are more person than RD who are upset.

All truth is One…All reality is One….God’s Kingdome!
What comes from the heart leads us in all things even when it is a game we are playing.
They can not be separated into spiritual, worldly or even virtual reality.
When focus is on money, property ownership, or stars you go the way of the material world of Big, Up and More. When it becomes the agenda, then faith can fly out the window. There has to be faith and trust in God’s reality…trusting that things will work out. Our faith should reflect in all things. Our games should reflect our living faith.


Questions I ask myself are:

“Am I Loving my neighbors as myself?”.
“Am I pleasing God?”

“Could I give up my repps/stars…zero out my account and continue fellowship for Praise and Glory of God? I am considering this may have to be my action.

Springrain, if this has become such a monumental problem for you, then yes, it might be the best solution for you. And maybe alot of other people are going thru this - I met someone the other day who was considering turning hers off too. It does happen and I understand it very well. I think every one of us has had to do some searching on this.

But not everybody has rep issues. I won't go on about it, but just that alot of people are having fun & building friendships thru this forum and aren't experiencing serious issues about this.