I am very confused. I fear hell in some aspects but don't believe in dogma. I follow the teachings of the bible but don't believe in black and white morality. For instance I believe murder is separate from killing and that sex before marriage is ok when approached ethically.
I have had so many different beliefs. I'm confused and I just want to stop searching. I love god and jesus but I currently hate what he is doing to me. He has created so many different religons and "holy texts" it's just not clear. I gave a prayer; I was in a field almost shouting my words to god, nearly in tears. It's been about an hour and nothing new has entered.
He has given me a strong theological mind but more and more it is becoming a curse rather than a blessing. I want to go back to being a happy agnostic/bhuddist. But that would deny myself my ability to think.
I just don't know what god wants from me, I was raised at an early age in somewhat of a christian school and more and more people portray god as a vengeful god, (which I was not taught) who created hell knowing the masses would go there.
Maybe tonight I will get an answer from god. I don't even know why I'm typing this! Am I looking for sympathy knowledge or just an easy way out?
Normally this post would be filled with swears and curses but I can see this is not the place. So you'll forgive me if the nature or content of this post seems un natural.
It's ridiculous! why are there so many different religous paths if all of them are claiming to be the one and only way to win and telling me every other way is wrong. From what I've seen the christian based religons are the worst for this.
I have had so many different beliefs. I'm confused and I just want to stop searching. I love god and jesus but I currently hate what he is doing to me. He has created so many different religons and "holy texts" it's just not clear. I gave a prayer; I was in a field almost shouting my words to god, nearly in tears. It's been about an hour and nothing new has entered.
He has given me a strong theological mind but more and more it is becoming a curse rather than a blessing. I want to go back to being a happy agnostic/bhuddist. But that would deny myself my ability to think.
I just don't know what god wants from me, I was raised at an early age in somewhat of a christian school and more and more people portray god as a vengeful god, (which I was not taught) who created hell knowing the masses would go there.
Maybe tonight I will get an answer from god. I don't even know why I'm typing this! Am I looking for sympathy knowledge or just an easy way out?
Normally this post would be filled with swears and curses but I can see this is not the place. So you'll forgive me if the nature or content of this post seems un natural.
It's ridiculous! why are there so many different religous paths if all of them are claiming to be the one and only way to win and telling me every other way is wrong. From what I've seen the christian based religons are the worst for this.