I'm new to this part of CF. I have an adopted 4-year-old son who came to us when he was 16 months old. He had a lot of developmental delays and he's had a lot of catching up to do. Then he was diagnosed with leukemia just after his 3rd birthday. He's doing very well and is finally looking and acting like a normal little boy. He's very stubborn, strong willed, and just plain strong. Lately, when he doesn't get his way, he kicks, hits, and throws whatever is handy. Time outs don't work if he's out the door and I have to chase him all over the neighborhood. I'm going to try some of the suggestions above. I'm willing to try whatever works. Last night he got out of bed to go potty and dumped soap into daddy's aquarium while he was up. He knows he's not supposed to touch the aquarium. Goldfish don't like bubble baths. Today he helped daddy bury the fish (they were BIG fish) but we don't think he understands what he did, even though he saw the sick and later dead fish. We're trying to figure out if he did it because he was mad at daddy because daddy wouldn't let "Dennis" go visit "Mr. Wilson", our neighbor, after supper last night.
My mom had a 3-bite rule. We had to eat 3 bites of whatever was served. If we were still hungry and didn't like what was served (we were a bunch of picky eaters), she said you know where the peanut butter is. But also, if we didn't eat what was served, no dessert and no snacks until the next meal. We learned to eat what was on the table. She used that rule when we were a little older, when we had started school. With my son, I try to give him small portions, but right now he's in the "do it myself" and likes to serve himself. I refuse to fix him something different, but I do often ask him what he'd like to have when planning a meal. When we had foster kids (school age), each child was assigned a night of the week to choose what was for supper. We gave them guidelines so the meal would be reasonably healthy, and they had to decide what they wanted so we'd have whatever in the house--no last minute trips to the grocery store or menu changes.
I feel like I'm learning my parenting skills out of order, because we had school age kids (I've been through learning-to-read 4 times in the last 3 years), then toddlers, but pre-schoolers are a whole 'nother story. No other kids, adoption was the only option--long story. My son's a delight, but he's also making me crazy.
latebloomer
, esp. with other kids running around 
This must be hard. Can you share some of the other things you've done, in what situations? That might help people to come up with suggestions. There are some pretty wise mamas on this board, so I hope someone can help!
