Brian,
IMHO, unless these books or games are coming between you and God, then you should not feel guilty for using them. Books and games are not evil in and of themselves...but we can use them in ways that could be contrary to God's will...then there is a problem.
We can learn a lot from books. Although I do believe there is a fine line that should not be crossed when considering subject matter.
The books I read are fantasy or horror, occassionally something else. The one exception to this is non-fiction, which I usually read for writing purposes (histories, etc.)
The games are the same. I don't play games that have you blowing up people or anything like that. In fact I like Roleplaying games like Final Fantasy, Suikoden, etc. because I don't care about playing them so much as enjoying the story. I tend think of them as a bit like interactive novels.
I rarely play or read anything that would be considered crossing the line, due to my scrupulosity. I got rid of Xenogears due to this.
You say that these books and games distract you from your thoughts...have you tried using prayer or reading the Bible in place of the games and other books?
I do all the time. I meant more that when I had it the worst, reading or playing a game kept my mind "busy," reducing the chance of having them.
But I've prayed on it today, and I've realized several things about it. First, I think this is God teaching me humility, as I felt myself getting proud about certain things, religious wise, and prayed the other day for it. Not that God "caused" this, but is using it to show me that I've got a long, long road to go and I have no reason to be proud.
Second, I realized that it wasn't the games or books themselves, but the idea of giving them up. Games, books, writing, and doing stuff online are pretty much my only hobbies. Not that I don't do other stuff, I do, but these are the things that I greatly enjoy. I have friends, do stuff with my family, etc. but even in kindergarten, the teachers evaluating me told my mom I was more mental than physical driven. Having OCD throughout middle and high school just set it stone, so to speak.
My point is that it's not the objects, but the fact that it makes up a great deal of what I enjoy, from a non-religious perspective. What always scared me from coming to Christ, was the thought that I would lose any and all sense of "self." Yes, I know how stupid and selfish that sounds, but that's what I thought. I finally gave myself to Christ and now I've been wondering if, in modern times, we are disappointing/soft for not doing as the Apostles and giving everything up. So when I realized I wouldn't joyfully want to just eat, sleep, pray, study God's word, witness, and work, I felt guilty. It's not that I wouldn't do it if I had to, but that I don't think I would enjoy it, and would prefer not to.
At least, that's what I think, but how can I know for sure if the idea of giving up my hobbies in the first place is unpleasant? We are to joyfully follow the Lord, but if He called me to do this, just so that I could concentrate on witnessing or something, I don't think I would be happy about it. It makes me question my sincerety, and that I'm trying to keep some of my "old self." Again, none of these games or books are explicit or concerning questionable stuff, it's just not religious at all.
I feel like by wanting to do things that do not make me grow in Christ, I'm trying to hang on to the world.
wonderful news thank you for sharing, i am so happy to hear that you a doing well and leaning more and more on God. He is doing a great thing in you!
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