I don't deserve the title christian...

[americianhardcorechristian]

I lie, i steal, and demons torment me. and yes im drunk as i write this and im 18 years olb. i doubt my faith in God, I doubt Jesus, i deserve to be shot...

 

[Victory of the Cross]

33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.

34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to
life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

36As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[l

] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,

39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8 33-39

9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all

You're not alone brother i'm always here if you want to talk

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Good verses Saleucami!!!

Now, to the OP. I know that it is so hard for us to grasp and understand, but God forgives, and even while you are doing things that may not be the best He still loves you, and still wants you as His child.

Just make tomorrow a new day in your walk with Christ. Repent of the things that you have done, and pray for God to help you with the doubts and other things that you are struggling with. He will help you when you need it, so you just gotta count on Him.

I completely understand where you are right now. I went through about a year and half of truly doubting my faith, but in the last six months or so God has worked in amazing ways in my life. I am praying that God would give you some encouragement and peace right now, and I would also recommend finding a trusted Christian to talk with you about this. Someone who knows you and whom you would feel comfortable sharing this with. We are never alone in our walk, always remember that!

And feel free to pm me if you ever need to

 

[BelindaP]

None of us deserves the title 'Christian'. It is by God's grace alone that we can bear the title.

It sounds to me that God has allowed you to sink very low. Now that you are on your knees, look up. Jesus is standing there, holding out a hand to bring you back up. God has put you on your knees for a reason--so that you will return to Him. He will always take you back.

You sound very depressed to me. Have you sought out a therapist or pastoral counseling? I think it would really help you. Depression makes you feel so separated from God, that you actually believe He doesn't love you any more. That is one of Satan's lies. Seek help, and you will find that God has never deserted you.

 

[Anti Existance]

There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our inherent weakness of purpose.

Look we are all here to learn, we need to remove our demonical ways and replace them with angelical ways. Remember negativity leads to nowhere, you should just try to become the best possible man you can be.

Its a real struggle to get rid of your bad habits, i love you unconditionally i really don't care how much you screw up in your life, what matters the most is your change of heart, replacing all the hatred in your life with love.

If you really loved someone, you wouldn't steal from that person. If you would really love yourself, you wouldn't destroy your own body.

You see the meaning of life is to love and help others. If you replace your life you currently lead with this you will become untouchable by demons.

Always put yourself in someone elses shoes. If i stole your favorite thing, would that make you happy? Wouldn't you feel horrible if something important from you was stolen? So don't do to others what you wouldn't like to see happening to yourself.

Same counts for lying, would you enjoy it if someone lied to you? Obviously not, again don't do to others what you wouldn't like to see happening to yourself.

Has being drunk made you happy? Has it solved any of your problems? It certainly hasn't , it only suppressed the symptoms, it doesn't solve anything.

Replace the feelings of being worthless, with pure love for yourself and others. Support and believe in yourself.

You could try to follow the 10 step program to get out of the slump. You have to ask yourself if you want to keep living like a pig or start to bring your life to a decent level.

 

[americianhardcorechristian]

thank you for your help, i woke up this afternoon with a killer hangover, and my hand hurts like crazy. I'm still depressed, I don't see why I'm not use to it by now it comes and goes a lot. I went to a catholic church today, and I'm not catholic. I just needed to talk to someone. It didn't help much, he told me much of the same thing, then tried to get me to join his church, *sigh*. to be honest I no longer feel God joy around me anymore, my faith is almost gone and i come here as a last resort hoping to find knowledge and wisdom in whats left in the goodness of humanity, i was sad that i woke up, like i said depression is no stranger to me, and i just don't want to be here anymore. its not like it would really matter, this forum would continue on just like the world would keep spinning, there is little anyone can tell me about love that i believe anymore, people now a days lie so much about how much they care, rich people give less then what they can (and then claim about how much they care) to charity while the poor give so much that they remain poor (and they don't speak a word about how much they give), thats true caring.
it hard to believe in God's grace and love when i can't feel it like i use to when i was little. if there are other lifeforms out their...did Jesus die for them too or just earth? it sounds like a ramble, i know. all i can do is type what comes to mind. i don't mean to put what people try to do to help out, but right now i need more then a pat on the back and good wishes.

 

[Reborn_in_Christ]

thank you for your help, i woke up this afternoon with a killer hangover, and my hand hurts like crazy. I'm still depressed, I don't see why I'm not use to it by now it comes and goes a lot. I went to a catholic church today, and I'm not catholic. I just needed to talk to someone. It didn't help much, he told me much of the same thing, then tried to get me to join his church, *sigh*. to be honest I no longer feel God joy around me anymore, my faith is almost gone and i come here as a last resort hoping to find knowledge and wisdom in whats left in the goodness of humanity, i was sad that i woke up, like i said depression is no stranger to me, and i just don't want to be here anymore. its not like it would really matter, this forum would continue on just like the world would keep spinning, there is little anyone can tell me about love that i believe anymore, people now a days lie so much about how much they care, rich people give less then what they can (and then claim about how much they care) to charity while the poor give so much that they remain poor (and they don't speak a word about how much they give), thats true caring.
it hard to believe in God's grace and love when i can't feel it like i use to when i was little. if there are other lifeforms out their...did Jesus die for them too or just earth? it sounds like a ramble, i know. all i can do is type what comes to mind. i don't mean to put what people try to do to help out, but right now i need more then a pat on the back and good wishes.

Man, I know how you feel. A few years back I went through a period of extreme depression that still leaves me with a chronic disease. Rest assured that it DOES pass. I know it doesn't seem like it will, I mean... it hurts so bad right? How could this pain ever leave... it would be better to just get away from it all, besides, they're not going to miss me.

The truth of the matter is that NONE of us deserves to have God in our lives. You're perfectly right; we lie, cheat, kill and the myriad of other things you could list. But the miracle of it all, is that God seeks us out each day. Think about it, the creator of the universe going out of his way to look for you, just to give you a hug and tell you it'll be ok. Seems quite unbeleiveable to me. But it's the truth. As for those that have the ability to give but don't. Don't you worry, the Bible very clearly tells us that it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. So one way or another, they will get theirs.

Don't we all just wish we could have the faith of a child? As we get older and come to grips with the realities of life our innecence will fade. Our views on life change from looking at life through rose colored glasses to taking a magnifying glass to everything... or in many cases looking at the world through a frosted glass.

Are your parents saved? If not, a GREAT place to find uplifting people are campus ministries at colleges. Personally it wasn't until I got to college that my faith grew. I would definately look into groups like Campus Crusade for Christ and Intervarsity Christian Fellowship. If it's just someone to talk to about life, these are great places to go. They have people come to them in much the same situation as you are in all the time. I myself am part of a campus Ministry called His House. I see people that are skeptical coming in all the time. Some leave, but for some it's a turning point in their lives. You've got lots of questions, please beleive me, the answers are out there.

God Bless,
Reborn

 

[BelindaP]

I know exactly how you feel. I have suffered from depression my entire life, so I know how it separates you from God.

My guess is that right now God doesn't seem to be anywhere in the picture. When you pray, it doesn't even get as high as the ceiling. You think that if God really loved you, He would never let you feel as bad as you do right now.

My experience with depression is that it is like living in a deep, dark pit. There is no love, no light, no reason for living. What you need to do is find a way out of the pit. I know that feels impossible right now--probably almost hopeless.

I would ask you to go get some counseling and possibly some medication. Before you put me on ignore (I fought medication for years, so I know what you're thinking, let me explain what the medication will do for you. It will help to raise the bottom level of the pit. You'll actually be able to see out of the pit.

While your depression will probably not go away entirely, the medication will get you to where you can think rationally again. It also suppresses the depression to where you can feel the presence of God again.

Taking the medication is not usually a permanent thing. It just helps get you to where you need to be in order to heal from whatever is depressing you.

Drinking alcohol is absolutely the wrong thing to be doing right now. It actually causes you to become even more depressed. The more you drink, the worse you will feel. That's why so many suicides are drunk when they do it.

Even though you can't feel Him right now, God doesn't want you to keep suffering. He wants you to get help and get better. I very strongly urge you to seek help as soon as possible.

I see in your signature, some of the words of Amazing Grace. You are lost again, and God is throwing you a line to help you out. Please take hold of it and don't let go. He will pull you out of the quagmire that you are in.

 

[Lisa0315]

thank you for your help, i woke up this afternoon with a killer hangover, and my hand hurts like crazy. I'm still depressed, I don't see why I'm not use to it by now it comes and goes a lot. I went to a catholic church today, and I'm not catholic. I just needed to talk to someone. It didn't help much, he told me much of the same thing, then tried to get me to join his church, *sigh*. to be honest I no longer feel God joy around me anymore, my faith is almost gone and i come here as a last resort hoping to find knowledge and wisdom in whats left in the goodness of humanity, i was sad that i woke up, like i said depression is no stranger to me, and i just don't want to be here anymore. its not like it would really matter, this forum would continue on just like the world would keep spinning, there is little anyone can tell me about love that i believe anymore, people now a days lie so much about how much they care, rich people give less then what they can (and then claim about how much they care) to charity while the poor give so much that they remain poor (and they don't speak a word about how much they give), thats true caring.
it hard to believe in God's grace and love when i can't feel it like i use to when i was little. if there are other lifeforms out their...did Jesus die for them too or just earth? it sounds like a ramble, i know. all i can do is type what comes to mind. i don't mean to put what people try to do to help out, but right now i need more then a pat on the back and good wishes.

It sounds to me as if you are self-medicating, then, you feel awful afterward, and then, you likely self-medicate again. Get off this destructive merry-go-round, and get some professional help. I am also being treated for depression, and the difference is like day and night. There is no shame in seeking help. We are fortunate to live in an age where modern medicine can help us. We are unfortunate that we live in an age where we have so much to be depressed about. Likely, this is a chemical inbalance, and it will continue to get worse until you get help.

We do need you here, but we need you strong. This is happening to you for a reason. Read Romans 8. Likely, the reason that you have to go through this is so that someday you can help someone else who is struggling in exactly the same way.

Lisa

 

[HoneyComb Son]

hey there..americanharcorechristian...I am sorry you are feeling the way you feel...I too am in a dark place at this time in my life aswell..where i doubt very much in God..in fact my image of God isnt pretty..BUT

no matter what situation you are in..(as myself..a dark dark time)..you have to hang onto the good..never lose sit of this: God is faithful...He will never leave you nor forsake you...always remember this

God paid the price for your sin..by His son Jesus..dont say you deserve to be shot..you must say the truth..you are a child of God..you are worthy because of what Jesus DID

And I know how dark life can get..when you can see no good..but you must lift your eyes..off yourself..off of your situation..off the pain..off the sin.the evil..fix your eyes on Jesus..who is the starter and FINISHER of your faith!..your eyes must be on Him...He can make you as clean as snow..no matter what you have done...it says in the bible..how God states.."come..let us discuss this together..even though your sin has stunned you..He can make you as white as snow

His love for you never ends..for He loves you..He loves you so very much..even in the dark time you are in..for even through the valley of death..He is with you..His staff protects you..He will lead you..let Him

His mercies are new everyday..and He is patient..not wanting anyone to perish..though you may be stuck..lift your eyes to Jesus..for only He can truly make the right change you need..for myself aswell

dwell on the good..think on these..glorious things..things worthy of praise..be thankful..praise God..resist the devil..submit your to God..and the devil will flee..fall on your knees..talk to God..ask Him to change you.and He will!..He is our deliverer and savior..His arm is not to short to save..

He can save the most unrepentant. evil person...He has the power..and He is willing..He alone is your Savior

lift your eyes to Jesus..He loves you..and wants to see you through this...He is not a punisher..But a loving God..who wants to save

 

[Lisa0315]

Ooh, and another thing that really helped me. Helping others lifts you out of depression. Do something really nice for someone else. It totally helps!

Lisa

 

[Anti Existance]

thank you for your help, i woke up this afternoon with a killer hangover, and my hand hurts like crazy. I'm still depressed, I don't see why I'm not use to it by now it comes and goes a lot. I went to a catholic church today, and I'm not catholic. I just needed to talk to someone. It didn't help much, he told me much of the same thing, then tried to get me to join his church, *sigh*. to be honest I no longer feel God joy around me anymore, my faith is almost gone and i come here as a last resort hoping to find knowledge and wisdom in whats left in the goodness of humanity, i was sad that i woke up, like i said depression is no stranger to me, and i just don't want to be here anymore. its not like it would really matter, this forum would continue on just like the world would keep spinning, there is little anyone can tell me about love that i believe anymore, people now a days lie so much about how much they care, rich people give less then what they can (and then claim about how much they care) to charity while the poor give so much that they remain poor (and they don't speak a word about how much they give), thats true caring.
it hard to believe in God's grace and love when i can't feel it like i use to when i was little. if there are other lifeforms out their...did Jesus die for them too or just earth? it sounds like a ramble, i know. all i can do is type what comes to mind. i don't mean to put what people try to do to help out, but right now i need more then a pat on the back and good wishes.

The world is filled with darkness and hatred, but that's our mission of God to bring love and light into this forsaken place. About your question on Jesus dying for aliens. The universe is filled with life, its not a dead and barren place like we are led to believe. Life on other planets? Yes there is but you should not be afraid of them,because they are also sheep of our shepard lord, but they belong to a different sheep cage. Jesus (as far as i know off) did not die for their sins on that other planet, every planet with life on it like earth has its own spiritual level. They might be on a level that don't require saving because they have passed and got rid of sinfull living. Other planets do need a saviour, and are an even bigger mess then this planet is.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

What is troubling you? What hurts so much that you cut, drink, etc just to get away from it? You say that the world will just go on if you die, well that's partially true. As a whole the world will go on, and that's the case for everybody. None of our lives will make the world stop. But on a smaller level, all of our lives have an impact. Whether it's family or just people we happen to meet, we all have an impact on them. You know this, but maybe you feel this isn't enough? But what would be enough then? Do you know that all of our lives are extremely important to God? Even though we don't change the world God still cares about us. The Creator still cares about us PERSONALLY. Doesn't that make us important? Not our own life, but God's interest.

Don't be afraid to face your problems! Drinking and cutting isn't going to solve them. Running isn't the solution, even though it feels appealing.

 

[heymikey80]

It's not as easy as it looks, this Christianity, and you know that now. That's a good thing, and I'm glad you're coming to terms with it. Would that I could do more of it, you're an inspiration just for keeping on this far.

You need people around you, Christians who are real with you. And, (note my affiliation) the priest could have been doing something commendable. He was trying to get that started the only way he knew how. He knows that your joining, your membership, sends you forward -- just a little bit. It's a little taste of communion -- not the eucharist, but true "with-union" -- communion -- among Christ's people. To me that's what keeps everything going, year after year, even when I don't feel like it.

"we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." Rom 12:5

You need a church that will pull you into that communion. They're scattered throughout -- some liberal, some conservative, some evangelical, some don't even realize they're a church. I can't say whether any given church will connect with you where you're at. But I can say, search 'til you find one. They're out there. Likely they know you're missing from their group. Or they'll know it quickly when you get there.

I'd say from your skepticism of joining a church you may want to start with a Bible church. In my experience they're less concerned about formal membership -- which could help you, as long as they're close with one another and then with you. I would hope there's a close-knit one near you.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

Regarding your lying and stealing. Confess your sins, repent and God will forgive you. This He has promised, and that's why He sent Jesus to die. He will wash you white as snow. Don't let sin separate you from God.

I've been trying to figure out what's bothering you by reading this thread. The only thing you've mentioned is that there are rich people who are greedy, and poor people who are generous. It's safe to assume it has been like this since long before Jesus came, and it will probably be like this until Jesus comes again. You can't change it. The only thing you can do is control what God allows you to control, e.g your behaviour, the compassion you show, what you do with your money and possessions and so on. You can make sure that you don't become greedy, but instead generous. Why worry about things you can't change? Sure, it's good to be aware of the situation, but you can't magically snap your fingers and make it go away.

Don't be afraid because you can't feel like you used to. It's called growing up. There's a lot more to faith than what you happen to feel at the moment. It's scary when you realize how brutal and sinful the world can be, but you can rest assured that God has a plan and that when Jesus comes, all evil will be washed away.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

No one deserves to be God's children, but that's not how it works. God's gift is free to each of us, and He forgives us when even others won't. With Him, things can get turned around and you can live your life with Christ.

 

[americianhardcorechristian]

it started when i saw a demon in my mirror that after praying 3 times for it to leave, it didn't so i smashed the mirror with my hand (i.e. how i got a hurt hand) then i drank to forget about the pain in my hand and the achoal got my mind racing about why if God is real did he not come to my aid and now it seems all but too simmiler to what happened in my dark childhood when God didn't intervene when i needed him most, so something extreamly bad happened. that is what has got me all depressed and in a doubting state of mind.
P.S. i wasn't drunk or on anything when i saw the demon.

 

[xBladesx]

I lie, i steal, and demons torment me. and yes im drunk as i write this and im 18 years olb. i doubt my faith in God, I doubt Jesus, i deserve to be shot...

Dude! Please don't beat yourself up like that.

Remember that becoming a christian is not a perfection switch that now you won't mess up anymore.

Trust me I know. Even as a Christian I've done many things I'm ashamed of.

The truth is we all mess up badly from time to time and we all need to contantly keep asking for The Lord's forgiveness everytime we fall.

The bible is quite clear
1) Everybody sins
2) If we confess our sins He is faithful to forgive us and wash our sins away.
3) Most inportantly, inspite of our sins God still loved us enough to send His Son to die for us so we may receive forgiveness.

Keep you chin up, you are not alone. What ever you battle with take it to the Father and He will help you through it.
The secret is to hang in there and don't give up.

As far as demons are concerned remember that Christianity is not only a relationship with The Lord but a spiritual battle.
You need to put on the Armor of God, take authority in Christ and know you are a child of God and no demons have rights in your life.
Then command those demons out of your life in The Name of Jesus.
Very Very inportant, you need to pray close all spiritual doors in your life to the demonic realm if any were open.

example:
If a person participates in occult activities before becoming a christian demons can gain legal ground in that person's life.
When he/she become a christian she not only has to repent for his/her involvement in the occult but also close the door that was open by his/her involvement to prevent anymore demons gaining entry in his/her life

If you need any help please PM me

 

[Onlythingavailable]

That sounds quite scary, but are you sure God didn't help you? I mean, did the demon hurt you? Sure, you hurt your hand, but God didn't bash it into the mirror.

I don't know why God let it happen, maybe it was a wake-up call. I'm sorry, but I don't know much about demons and such. But if a demon exists, then how much more does God exist?