Help I think I'm suffocating

[jesuschickseven]

I recently enlisted in the Army and am approaching my 6 months in this month. I have to say that it is nothing like I thought it would be. I am 18 and graduated out of highschool only a couple of weeks before shipping to basic.
I miss my family and my friends and my Church especially. I am currently stationed over 2,000 miles away from my family and looking at a long deployment in the summer of 2008.
I am enlisted for 6 years, and I can't help but feel trapped. Where I am currently stationed I cannot seem to find a good church or christian friends and it has put a lot of strain on my faith.
The AIT that I have to go through is about 2 years long and so I get to be am IET soldier for a very LONG time. This is very hard because it means that I can only go home at christmas and I have virtually no freedoms or rights that normal human beings have.
I feel like I'm a prisoner and I don't know how to cope with all these life changes. I know I shouldn't be complaining when there are lots of real prisoners in other countries suffering for their faith, but sometimes I can't help it.
I really do want to serve my country, but I can't seem to figure out how I am serving God in all of this. I really just want someone to talk to who understands....

 

[MrMcCraket]

well yeah i understand how you feel
im not in the military
....yet
but i do feel trapped here in my own home
but i fight it
with two ways:
keep optimistic(i know its hard)
and look to the future

also you say that there arent any churches where your posted. well make your own in your own little way. find another christian, and hold each other up.
have faith child
im praying for you

 

[Autumnleaf]

Is there a chaplain you can talk to? There are usually bible study groups and church servies on military posts. Ask around and I bet you'll find some fellow Christians.

If you have a 2 year AIT you are probably looking at some good training which would come dearly in the civilian sector. Try to keep a positive focus.

I work with retired people all day long. The ones the most well off tend to be retired military. I'm a former Marine and Army National Guardsman, 8 years total time, so I've been there too. Sometimes it sucks and sometimes its a blast. They helped pay for most of my schooling. Now I'm a health care professional. You can do this. God be with you.

 

[EIChief]

Good advice...A chaplain should be able to help you.

I experienced some of these feelings when returning to active duty after the death of my father. My chaplain got me back on the right track and I was able to find some people who were attending a church off base. This helped me greatly.

You will also be training closely with other folks. You will most definately bond with some of them.

When all else fails, God is with you. Sometimes those times where you feel alone can be when you get closest to God

God bless

 

[rp3o8]

....

 

[Willravel]

Keep your head up, jesuschickseven. It is perfectly natural for the transition between civilian life and militaty life to be somewhat difficult. As you said, you've lost quite a few freedoms. In that you're so young, this may also be the first time you are on your own, which could add to anxiety. Remember this: you are surrounded by a lot of people who are going through the same thing. You could find strength in your fellow trainees.

I don't think it's fair to yourself to compare your situation to people who are being incarcerated for their faith. You have every right to feel the way you feel. So long as you don't let this consume you, let yourself feel this until you feel comfortable moving on.

I was particularly struck when you said, " I really do want to serve my country, but I can't seem to figure out how I am serving God in all of this." I don't think you're serving God directly in your military service. I'd say you're serving the government, then your countrymen, then maybe God. If you want to serve God there, then you might want to jon a prayer group or something of the sort. Bring God in to the lives of others there. But, when you're protecting a convoy between towns in Iraq or looking for members of the al Qaeda in Afghanistan, I don't think you'll be doing so for God necessarily. You'll be doing so because you were ordered to by your CO, and he or she will have been ordered to do so because it's of strategic importance either in the insurgency in Iraq or the remenance of the Taliban and al Qaeda in Afghanistan. In other words, the military is doing what it's doing for it's own reasons, and those reasons probably have less to do with God and more to do with politics and geopolitical economic control over an area that has resources we require.

I didn't mean to ramble there. Bottom line: let your faith sustain you. Find the Lord's work where you can, and try to smile every day. I find that smiling gives me a sunny disposition and can really turn a bad day around.

 

[jesuschickseven]

Thank you for everyones posts.... I have tried going to the post chapel a few times, but I'm kind of shy, and everyone seems to already know each other....
Oh and rp3o8 I am at DLI....Arabic... Are you here too?

 

[ChickenTruck]

Is the school still located in Montery? I am a few hours south in Orange County.

 

[EIChief]

I understand what you are going through because I felt much like you did after I had been in for a year. I was 3,000 miles away from my family and my father died. A hard thing to deal with when you are 19.

However, when things get tough, running away sometimes robs us of the blessings that are in store for us. The greatest blessings I have witnessed came when the going got tough and I stood up and faced the situation head on. The greatest people of faith in the Bible suffered great persecution and there is a reason for that.

You can serve God and your country at the same time. It will not be as easy as running away, but I guarantee you that the blessings are there for you if you endure long enough to witness them.

God Bless

 

[rppearso]

Just to keep the record straight, there is no tie between serving God and being in the military. The persecution you will find in the military is not the same as religious persecution, you should already know this from basic but you will be hazed for reasons unrelated to your faith, this is the heavy handed, malice, abusive nature of the military, always remember God will protect you and to pray often. The bible states that you should stay away from such behavior. There are many other ways to get out without going AWOL, since you are active duty it might not be the best idea for you, but it is an option (a better option if you were national guard, because then you dont fall under the UCMJ unless you are deployed). Are some of you from the military site I was on along time ago? If you believe serving in the military involves serving your nation some of you might want to do a reality check, occupation of another nation is not defense, anyway another discussion for another time, I just pray I dont run into a room full of military hardliners in here (ie combat arms, drill sgts, etc)

 

[jesuschickseven]

....

 

[jesuschickseven]

I joined the military at a time when I was rebelling against God, and I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm not supposed to be here, and that this place is indeed straining my faith and possibly my sanity; however, I truly believe that if God wants me to get out; he will arrange it.
Regardless of how I feel now; and the disagreements I have with the military and the whole killing people thing and politics I'd rather not go into; I signed a contract and took and oath.
Don't get me wrong. I wish I could get out; it's all I pray for. My Grandpa is dying, and my parents health is not so good, my mother just got cancer, and they need me now. But as much as I hate this, and I believe it's pulling me away from God, I'm stuck.
I guess my sense of duty has always been a little too strong, I don't know, but I will let these people ruin me and kill me before I will go back on my word and run like a coward.

 

[seajoy]

Dear Jesuschick7, here is a big for you.

I'm not in the military, but I do have a nephew who was deployed to the middle east in november. I really feel for you and your family.

Just remember, you may be far away from your loved ones, but you are the same distance from God as you always have been...He's right there in your heart.

 

[justanobserver]

I joined the military at a time when I was rebelling against God, and I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm not supposed to be here, and that this place is indeed straining my faith and possibly my sanity; however, I truly believe that if God wants me to get out; he will arrange it.
Regardless of how I feel now; and the disagreements I have with the military and the whole killing people thing and politics I'd rather not go into; I signed a contract and took and oath.
Don't get me wrong. I wish I could get out; it's all I pray for. My Grandpa is dying, and my parents health is not so good, my mother just got cancer, and they need me now. But as much as I hate this, and I believe it's pulling me away from God, I'm stuck.

I guess my sense of duty has always been a little too strong, I don't know, but I will let these people ruin me and kill me before I will go back on my word and run like a coward.

You have my respect.

Its not easy serving - especially while in Basic/IET/AIT/etc. Your going from a known world to one thats nothing like your use to with no transition or "easing in". Off the bus and right into basic. Its a rude awakening, a shock to the senses, you get the mindset of "what the heck did I get myself into??" and panic sets in. Personal doubts, second guessing oneself, seeing only whats right in your face (which you cant miss the face and the DI hat attached to it) instead of the goals/dream/reasons/etc of why you went in.

Its easy to forget when your getting yelled at. been there, done that and my butt still has scar tissue from getting chewed on by the DIs so long ago in Marine Boot camp.

FYI - I was a christian when I enlisted into the Marines... And I was a christian when I came home. I left christianity later and the military had nothing to do with it.

After the Corps, re-enlisted later and went Army and stayed.


Its not a garden club or a college fraternity or a church social or even a democracy - its the physical arm of the political body of this country we live in. After your "broke down" from what your use to being to what they need/want you to be to function in the military (boot camp). Unless your combat arms like I was, life can be so opposite of each other in the military. After basic is over - what a Unit Clerk goes thru on a daily basis aint what a grunt goes thru. I was a grunt.

It seems like its gonna be a lifetime, that this "hell" your going thru will never end, that there is no hope, etc etc etc - trust me - it will be over before you know it, you will be at your assignment and down the road, you will dig this thread back up and giggle to yourself and roll your eyes when reading it.

There are things about the miltiary I didnt care for. postings/bases that I didnt like and assignments that I still have less than fond memories to this day over. But there were good times, good units, good commanders, etc. Right now, your restricted on what and where you can go and do. After you graduate from AIT, life really will be different. get up, go to work, get off, do what you want until you report back in the next day. A lot of it after Basic is what you make it.

DLI, huh? I enjoyed Presideo of Monterey. Nice base with Monterey, Seaside, Ft Ord (was there late 80s), etc close by. I live about an hour and half east of Monterey now.

I wish you the best of luck. hang in there, troop.

 

[rppearso]

I can respect your sense of duty. I personally can not stand with an organization that has no honor such as the military. Just be carefull when you are close to getting out that you dont get stoplossed (being that your AIT is 2 years long and there probably is not many people in that MOS, there stands a good chance it could happen) assuming we have a republican president. Make sure to sign up for the GI bill and then use the benifits when you get out. Now days there is nothing more important than a good college education if you want to live comfortably before your 30 or 40 yrs old.

 

[seajoy]

I can respect your sense of duty. I personally can not stand with an organization that has no honor such as the military.

I thought this forum was for building up military folks, and their families. Hmmmm

 

[rppearso]

I guess I like to be real, I was in the military for a very short time and the behavior of a significant number of soldiers I ran into was subhonorable. I want to let people know that they do have options. I dont like to sugar coat things or pretend everything is ok, I know what she is going through.

 

[justanobserver]

I thought this forum was for building up military folks, and their families. Hmmmm

All i can suggest is to keep hitting the report button until someone cares.

 

[rppearso]

One of my goals in life is to cut down on the oppression that the military exerts on its own members through congressional inquiries, working with like minded congress persons to not only come down hard on the officers in charge of the training bases but to root out all the NCO's as well that impliment the abusive harrasment.

 

[seajoy]

I guess I like to be real, I was in the military for a very short time and the behavior of a significant number of soldiers I ran into was subhonorable. I want to let people know that they do have options. I dont like to sugar coat things or pretend everything is ok, I know what she is going through.

There isn't a place on this earth where you won't find subhonorable people. There is sin in this world.

My nephew is a very honorable young man, who is in the military, in the middle east right now, while you stand and say bad things about him, he is fighting for your freedom.

If everyone who felt lonely, and afraid (understandably so)while in bootcamp, left the military, I would say we could hear the crickets chirping from here to tim-buck-two in Fort Everywhere USA.

Praise the Lord for those make it through to protect us.