Sin Factor
© "God Goggles"
4 Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, 15 and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. 16 For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. 17 Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. 18 For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.
Hebrews 2 ESV
He knows what it is to be tempted.
"Sin is like 100 proof spiritual alchohol, the more you take in, the fuzzier your God Goggles get" kwy
Before I Spill My Guts Let's Do a Short Project
In life, we all have our Sin Factor. The Sin Factor is our own personal sin barometer. Some people's barometer is labeled with Drunkeness. Some people's barometer is labeled with Slothfullness. Some people have many sins listed on their barometers and some, well, they only have a few they deal with. There are millions of mixtures and no two are the same.
My Sin Factor barometer was labeled with lust/ occult. I've always been a very 'good' girl. I never had issues with drinking, drugs, stealing, cheating, or even small problems like jealousy (of anyone but my sister), coveting, being negative, hating people or being predjudiced, etc. I do have problems with gluttony, laziness, and getting off course with love relationships though as well as being drawn to the occult. These are all on my Sin Factor barometer. My barometer will never look just like yours, and yours will never look just like mine. We are all different and unique therefore our Sin Factors are too.
Another important part of the Sin Factor is that it is ever changing. What your Sin Factors look like today may be totally different ten years from now or ten days from now. This all depends on how close you get to Christ, what life experiences you are going through, and how satan is tempting you.
Now, the things I'm going to tell you about my own SIN FACTOR below work the same. When I'm working for God, man does satan hit me and he REHITS me with the problems below. He knows where I am weak and where I go to when I'm tired, bored, or feeling depressed. I'm just about through with learning how to overcome them and I may get hit once a year now or when I'm on fire for God and close to a breakthrough. You have to learn to Recognize your own SIN FACTORS and have a conscious understanding when you get Hit so you can thwart it off. That is part of what you are learning through God Goggles.
Have you ever watched preachers, well known pastors, who for years worked for God? Have you watched as their whole ministries were taken apart piece by piece by a simple flagrant night or affair? Now, I know that it is not just No Big Deal but think about it. Why in the world, first of all, does our culture love to hear these things? Why in the world is it such a big deal when just about every married man I know has at one time or another had an affair? I'm NOT making excuses for these pastors. Yes, they are held to a higher 'standard' than the simple laymen. Yes, they know better. BUT, they do more for Christ DAILY than all of us sometimes do in a year. They are going to be hit harder and in turn the repercussions are worse also. satan loves stuff like this. He eats it up. satan is THE leading 'reporter' if you will and will report on people who are leaders. For men, what is their greatest need? A woman, and to feel respected by that woman, and to be loved by that woman. I feel and my heart goes out to pastor’s wives everywhere. Pastors are so vulnerable. They have to be vulnerable to a point to serve the women of their congregation but they also have to be able to put up boundaries and delegate some of that duty to other women. It's a tough place for them and when they get tired, hungry or feel unrespect they are weak and vulnerable.
My point is this, the Pendulum Effect is at motion here people. Look back at your own life. When you were following Christ, was not life more difficult? Truly following not just pretending. When you were living for yourself, did not life seem easier- more fluid- even more advantageous at times? It has been for me. I started following God and all HELL broke loose, my husband too. So, back to the SIN FACTOR.
If we are not willing to admit our sins then I severely question whether Christ is in us. Christ, living in our hearts, really amplifies the Sin Factor Barometer, at least for me. Man, I tell you what, the good thing about Christ is He doesn't just blast you either. He gently tells us over time. If we keep living in sin, then He blasts us bigtime and sometimes we even get a jolt, but that is another story.
Over the years I have seen a key relationship between how good a person is and how bad they are. I think it has something to do with the Pendulum Effect but I have yet to be able to test my theory. I would love to do a study on it though. My thoughts are as follows. It seems to me the more a person works for the Lord or has the potential to make a real change/ cause/ or effect in te spiritual realm for Christ as well as the physical realm, then they are hit MORE than the person who could care less. It seems to me that those who are walking closer to Christ get it more in the tush so to speak. It is kind of like those tests we take in college- the job predictor tests. They group us into four types of personality groups with several different mixes. REWORD KIM. Well, I think our Sin Factor barometer is the same. The barometer looks like the example below. You don't start at the top or the bottom- you start in the middle- at ground ZERO. You choose to start walking towards Christ or away from Him. In doing so, the opposition hits you with an equal and lateral hit according to your Spiritual Level and closeness to God.
Think about Jesus when satan tempted Him in ..... Have you ever wondered how come satan himself did the tempting? I know that satan wanted to do it because well jeepers he is the one who was jealous of Jesus's RANK or status as King. I think it is also though because Jesus was so perfect and so close to God. You just can't get closer to that. satan probably sends his minions to people according to their levels, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you send your Best Soldiers, your Navy Seals to do the High Level Intelligence Killings or Rescues? Of course. satan is not dumb. He wasn't gonna play with Jesus, he meant business. He is the leader and most crafty so he went.
So, check out the barometer below.
Example 1:
Now on this barometer you fill it in.
Example 2:
I know that there are probably a million things about yourself you would NEVER tell a soul or maybe just tell your spouse/ best friend/ or significant other. God says though that in the end nothing will be hidden. So, why not be truthful now and help others so they are not in the same boats as you are or I are? I believe an important key in the relationship of walking with Christ is admitting our strengths and weaknesses. Fellowship helps us to be accountable. Now, my going public like this, well, yah, it’s a bit much but I've been waiting years for someone else to do it and well I haven't seen it happen. So here I go.
Being left by chance or by choice is a Resounding thread in my life whether it was me being left, or, me leaving others. I have been left by two husbands, three boyfriends, and had the sad experience of a possible divorce in my current marriage. I left all my family back home in Texas in 1997 to move here. I even had to leave my son with his father and his family to raise, just bringing my other two children with me to N.C. I did not leave by choice but by necessity in trying to make the maturist decision for all and to support at least two of my children at that time to the best of my ability. My parents were killed by drunk drivers, another time of being left, not by choice. I have been utterly alone and have been an individual who has caused others to be alone. I heard someone say once that hurting people hurt people. I think that is so true. I did not mean to go about and do it but have hurt others nonetheless in my search for a place to belong.
I have a good attitude though and do not have a negative one. I do not believe I am a victim I believe I am a survivor because of God.... ~ I am the Prodigal Girl, the woman at the well with five husbands, the orphan, and more. I identify with so many in God's Word, people He still loved.
Moving to North Carolina was one of the most difficult decisions I ever made.... leaving all family, friends, and anyone I knew with two children was TOUGH, plus having no money or set job to go to. I have gone out into the wilderness so to speak in my life both in many ways. I had different intentions and motives, was raised to know better, but nonetheless, here I am.
I think I can probably identify with most or all of the problems of any of you reading this book. The only thing, Lord protect me against this, satan has not thrown at me is disease or losing a limb. Other than that, I have been in most all your shoes.
I have sought a home since losing my parents in 1985. I missed the boat though folks. I had a home the whole time, in my heart, since accepting Christ at age nine. God was always there and if I had just listened I would have realized I never needed more people to heal that hole. I didn't need to keep trying to get back to that place I lost, those people I lost, the love I lost. I had it the whole time and it is twenty gazillion times better than anything I have found in my search since then.
I have left God at times in my life as well.
I remember long ago talking to God once about how I felt I was one of those goody two shoes type of people. I really did not grasp the fact that I had had a child out of wedlock and how that was against God. I had a self-righteous attitude of my life, my personality, my past and present, my motives, everything. I still viewed myself as being one of the most 'good' people I knew as far as people go. Compared to all my friends, I felt like I had risen above and done much better, sin wise. It is true, I didn't do drugs or go to parties, I didn't put money first, etc. like other people but I was severely mistaken on that note because even one sin is enough to put us in hell... I had lost my parents and stood strong, not caving in. I felt like I was one of the best people around!
I told God that it was hard for me to understand sinners because I had accepted Him so early in life. I actually wondered how I could be a Christian if I didn't understand the gravity of sin. I did not think I had done enough to understand or be thankful for how He had saved me and felt I needed to understand what exactly it was He was saving me from. I remember where I was standing when I was speaking to him, in the middle of my mobile home, kids in the den... mulling this life over. For some reason, I equated that there are levels of sin and that mine were better, not as bad as other people's, and were covered. I knew that technically God says all sin is the same. I knew that I had accepted Jesus but since I wasn't walking with Him daily, my Eyes were Shut Tight.
I thought I was doing everything right. I was working hard. I was making decisions. I was in control....
So, I decided to start messing up a little so I could actually understand sinners! How incredulous is that? It's crazy but that is what I did.
I began to use astrology to help me "figure life out." I thought that those once a day little quips were more focused and answered my questions. I thought it was more meant for me than the Bible which was just a book written for everyone. I wanted something focused on talking to me.... All that did was open more doors in the spiritual realm for attack though.
At that same time God kept calling to me and trying to speak to me. He placed the most wonderful people in my midst, a co-worker who walked with the Lord and who I watched pray with her kids before dropping them off for school, a family up the street who had a yard sale and sold me about a 100 books on Christ/ church/ theology for just ten bucks, a best friend at work who took me to church with her family and loved the Lord. I was walking with one foot on God's side and one on satan's....
I threw myself into body building. I was tanning and eating all the right foods. I got skinny and toned. I spent about two hours per day at the gym while my kids would wait. I was looking for some kind of healing inside. I wanted to feel like I did in high school. I wanted to be in control of what I ate and how I looked. I wanted a chance at the life I felt I lost when I got pregnant with my oldest son. I thought if I looked beautiful on the outside I could find a job making enough to get home somehow.... I was getting into shape for all the wrong reasons. It was about control and trying to control my huge mistake of a life. Getting in shape should have been about getting in shape inside as well as the outside.
I dated a well-groomed boy and fellow body builder from in town. I had hoped it would work with him because he was an upstanding fella but he chose another girl... mainly because who would want a girl with kids by different men? I began to see my situation as hopeless. I was a single mother with children by two different men. In my book and the book of what I had learned growing up, I was now second rate. No college degree did not help either. satan continually reminded me of how I had screwed up and how little chance I had to fix things.
I remarried to a man who loved the Lord and went to church with me but again satan hit our marriage in the same way he had hit my previous marriage with the temptations of others. It was a difficult battle that I fought and fought both in prayer on my knees and in life, in actions. I lost the battle though.... I only pray God won the battle eventually on the other side.
During every time I have been single, I was empty, lonely, and lost. I cried daily for my family back home in Texas. Even during times I have been married, I have yearned for Home. HOME. I just wanted to go home. Dorothy, you know from the Wizard of Oz, she ain't got nothing on me! I want home like I want food and that is saying a lot.
I was and am a couple of thousand miles from home and so so alone. At that time it was towards the end of the years of working in the factory and I had tried desperately to advance to better serve my family and make more money. Even when I remarried I worked HARD. When I was single again, I worked even HARDER. I was exhausted. I would go home exhausted and crash on the couch. I was depressed and dejected. I felt like crap, literal crap. Here I had children by two men. This was just wrong in my family! I felt like the black sheep, the outsider, the outcast. I felt like noone would want me. The way my family acted when I would call home and talk about wanting to return... I felt unwanted and that it was better to stay away, far away.... I looked at my hands and saw blood, my own flesh and blood from the abortions. I felt like the scum of the Earth. I had a son recently diagnosed with autism who I was desperately trying to help and work with and a son I yearned for, cried for, died inside for, a HUGE hole in my heart in Texas. I had responsibilities here- and love there. I was Torn. absolutely torn. I have been for years.
I wanted to go home. I wanted home. I needed home. I wanted to go home to my Momma. I remember having dreams of my home with my parents. I could remember every detail down to the fibers in the carpeting. I felt free when I slept and dead while awake. Momma, I wanted her to hug me and hold me tight. Daddy, I wanted him to fix it all and kick these guys butts who were wrong to me. Momma, I wanted her to confirm that all would be ok and life would get better. Silence. Nothing but silence in my heart except for that soft gentle love from Jesus every now and then... a calm whisper..... But, there was no home to go to. I didn't know how to fix it all. There were more years of hardship, being close to God, then away, then close, and away. Taking it all into my own hands.....
Till God stepped in and stepped in Bigtime. He took me, into His wings and then I had only thought I had lived in a Spiritual Battle... I should have thought twice.
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Long story short, I got what I asked for. I wish I had not made that decision years ago ~ the decision to figure out what it was like on the other side.... Perhaps you are in the same position? When we open doors... we should be prepared to walk through them.
Fear Factor
Fear. What does that word mean to you? What have you feared in life? Who have you feared in life? Why have you feared in life? Where does fear come from?
There is or was a popular television show called the Fear Factor. In it, people were tested and made to do things they probably never would have done, and then they earn money by doing so. It's a type of gameshow and I'm sure you have heard of it. I titled this chapter Fear Factor because I could not think of a better name. The people who started that show were geniuses. I had already used Sin Factor in the prior chapter and so it just makes sense but humans DO love fear. They love it. Why I will never understand as I detest it but humans, they all seem to thrive on that moment of suspense, the moment where you hinge on life and death, grossness and purity, stepping into the unknown.... Fear is a Factor in every decision we make in life, in my estimation. Why? See below.
Fear. Why do we love it? Sure we love it but why? I believe it is because fear is what drives us all at the most basic level.
Think about these questions for a moment. Think about what drives you.... what fears you try to conceal, not think of, deny, run from, and conceal. Here is a simple way of examining yourself to find your fears. Tell me what you love. Tell me all the things you love and aim for in life. Then, turn them inside out. Look at the root of those things. Why do you need those things? What are they helping you to run from? For example: Many people want gorgeous big home with lots of light, furniture, and places to entertain. Why? Well, for certain people it could be because they grew up poor and they never want to go back to that place. See? They were afraid of being who they were in their old identity.
So, think about what drives you for a bit and then while you think about that, I will tell you my fears. Nope, I'm not embarrassed to either....
I have told yall just about everything about my own life. You know pretty much all my fears. I feared being left, abandoned, being left by the rapture- because of my having lived what was just like the rapture in my parents dying so unexpectedly, in men leaving, in losing my son, in losing my mind from losing my son, in losing my family, in losing respect, in so many more ways. I lived in fear for years. When Y2K happened, I feared it. When 911 happened, I sat in my college English class and slowly crumpled inside even more. I fought back, though, trying to attain my law enforcement status... but then was let go from that as well. I feared men in my past, rape- cheating- divorce- abuse- verbal abuse... you name it. I wanted a strong man who could protect me like my parents had, especially given my autistic nature and not understanding the world, yet I was afraid of men like that because my own parental figures had been soft and gentile men. I had positive men growing up, then what happened?
FEAR of the unknown. Looking back over my life, since my parents' deaths, I have never sense had a place or time in which I could truly be unfearful, except when I am near to the Lord. I have ever been searching for home, for somewhere to be fully accepted, fully complete, and fully stable. Peace is what I yearn for.
I have feared death, oh how I have feared death. I see now that most all my actions in life have been determined by my fear of death. How?
I don't go on vacations or fly in planes often- might croke. I was an airport firefighter. I learned all about planes.... yep. Made the decision to stay home.
I worry about my family like crazy. I am consistently calling my last Nanny left and asking her if she is ok and probably need to phone more here of late. I worry for her daily. She is the last of my 'kinsmen' of anything or anyone I come from. All of you who are older, or even younger, who have lost loved ones whom you 'come from' understand this, the awkwardness of being alone. Me, I'm an orphan. I never really thought about that until I was much older. For years I covered it up and just flat did not face it at all till one day once we moved to North Carolina my then boyfriend took me by a local orphanage to possibly volunteer. I, looking at those children, realized I was them, and they were me. We were alone. Alone. Or so I thought...
Men. I tried to fill the alone whole with men, many different kinds. Of course, I do not want to sound like a floosy and I maintained long term relationships but they were each different in their unique ways excepting one point. I chose men who might not really challenge me in life. I did not want someone who would challenge me to do things I might never try.... till Joe.
What else? Jobs. Yah I want to be in law enforcement and I know that is dangerous but I have a gun, I have tools like hand to hand combat, and I have common sense. When I think about it, I chose this type career from having watched my three uncles whom were in LE and knowing they could 'handle' themselves. I believe many women in LE are in it because of past abuse and wanting to protect themselves.
Truly though, in my heart of hearts I know I have not gone for the jobs I could have had because of fear. How so? Well, you have to spend quite a few years in college preparing for those jobs. Each time I have started college, I quit after those semesters. Why? My mother died attending college. This is why she and my father were out at night. Subconsciously I feared not completing.... it is difficult to explain. Writing all this down, I feel like such a woos or that I probably look like one. Oh well.
My body. Yep. For years I obsessed about being thin and staying thin. I wanted nothing to do with being anything like my mother and the weight she gained. When she died, she had a seat buckle on. My grandmother told me a man said he tried to get her out before the truck exploded but the seat buckle was stuck and she was just too heavy. As he was trying to get the buckle off he saw the fire. The fire got too hot and he had to jump back. He watched as she exploded in a gulf of flames with the fire. Not only that, but mother was teased for her weight. She had been drop dead gorgeous, almost modelesque. When she had me, that all changed. She never blamed me and always loved me but I knew she was unhappy. Dad did all he could to make her feel loved but she still had a whole in her heart because of her body.
I obsessed about being thin from a very young age. It is a wonder I was even able to have children because I was borderline anorexic! Actually, if I were to talk to a doc they may say I was. I might should ask. I used to eat once a day in high school. Yep, once. I felt such solice in being able to control my food intake. Laster in life it progressed to body building. I was a body builder for a number of years. I obsessed about being in shape, for the wrong reasons though. It is difficult to explain unless you have been there. It is important for us to care for our bodies - God commands us to. The difference is that we should work on our bodies not out of fear, but out of love for the temple He gave us. Read the body chapter for more.
I could write another book on my weight issues.... but the closer I got to the age my mother and father were when they died I slowly began to not care. I feared the unknown. What was it going to be like being past their ages? How would I handle it? I have no clue how to be a mother for older children, boys, or girls. I have no clue how to be a grandmother... excepting I can look to my own grandparents but there is something hugely different about watching your own parents do it. I have no point of reference.
I have no clue how to handle dying, before my children do. I have not watched my parents hold their heads high and face death straight on. You know parents do that. They act strong although they are fearful. I watched my Mimi's eyes as she was near death. There was a fear there. She loved Jesus, I know she did... but there was something different there but also strong. She just took it head on, for us. I haven't seen my momma do this though. I was cheated that.
Another issue under it all... I felt that if I were not too pretty, then men would not want to 'hurt' me. My having been raped and dealing with past men has even come between my current marriage. Oh how I feel for my loving husband and all he has put up with me. He has endured many years of not having much attention because of my issues. Summed up though, I did not care about my body anymore because I did not want to be desirable.
Fear of facing Christ. Oh yah...... I believe I'm covered by His blood but I still have to face Him! I have to stand there knowing I have killed two of my own children (abortion), slept with men out of marriage, divorced/ remarried (whole can of worms), cussed, said His name in vain more than a hundred few times, coveted, hated, affected other people's lives in ways that probably did not lead them to Christ, you name it.... I have to stand there and ask Him to cover all that with His pain He went through, for me. That is pretty darn scary. Pretty embarassing. Pretty real.
You might be reading this and be thinking, heck, that's nothing. You might be thinking, wow, that's just life honey. Everybody is doing those things. You have to remember my early 'autistic' type self. If you know much about people like that, they tend to be high achieving in certain areas and not so much in other areas. They may lack in social graces at times too, but go on to lead healthy and productive lives. Me, I was able to overcome the social graces part. God helped me with that. So, I had high aspirations for me. I had high goals and expectations. I knew I could attain more. God blessed me with SO many skills its just crazy how lucky I was and am- but I did not use them wisely. That is the gravest of all mistakes, to not use abilities or blessings given us for His glory. Of all my sins, for this I am Most ashamed.
So, yes I have lived in fear for so long. I had a GREAT need for a HOME. All I could think about were the sensations, smells, the comfort, stability, of my home with my parents. I did not care or realize I was affecting other people even in my choices for I just needed to get back home.
For me, keeping a stable job, stable income, and trying to find a stable home life meant the world. Keeping that gorgeous physique so I could for sure land another job if need be meant the world also. No, I have never had an outstanding job making millions of dollars but I had jobs that I felt comfortable in, stable, and knew if I kept my looks at the time I could land any job I wanted.
In the past few years, I lost it all and almost lost my current marriage. I have realized that God has allowed me to lose all these things in the recent years to show me He is all that matters. I lost man after man. I lost home after home. I lost job after job. I lost goal after goal. I lost my son. I lost my sister recently due to some disagreements. I lost my looks in gaining weight and losing that fire in my eyes, the fire of aliveness. I have come near losing my teens as in not being able to provide all they wish at times. I have lost my pride. I have lost my willpower at times. I have lost my faith in myself even.....
This project is not all about me.... though the rest of the chapter is, but right now, reflect and see if anything I have said above reminds you, of you. How do you feel about that? Answer below.
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My FEAR Cocoon. --
For years I had this nice mental cocoon I kept on. Picture me all rolled up in a beautiful pink cocoon with gorgeous leaves all round. Each layer read a word: JOB, MONEY, STATUS, HEALTH, BEAUTY, SMILE, PERSONALITY, VERSATILITY, LEADER, BACKBONE, STRONG, WISDOM, GIFTS, SKILLS, SMART, STRENGTH IN NUMBERS (KIDS), MEN, FAMILY, even SPIRITUAL GIFTS....... recently GOALS TO MAKE STABLE FOR KIDS/ ADULTS WITH GRIEF AND DISABILITES ETC GOALS TO MAKE KIDS AEROBICS FACILITY GOALS TO PAINT AND SELL MORE PAINTINGS GOAL TO AFFECT OTHERS AND LIVE FOR OTHERS..... I needed a way to sum it up but God continues to close the doors.
Why?
Slowly, God has allowed everything I put stock in to be peeled away. I kept putting on the peels by eating, here recently, trying to not face it but the more peels I put on, the more He peeled off.
It's hard for a perfectionist to admit they are not perfect but I'm admitting it today. Why to you guys? Everyone wants everyone to think they are perfect. Well, I'm not. I said it. ahhhh. I feel much better.
ha. Being a woman in America is tough. We have to be everything to everyone, except ourselves. We feel we must be Perfect wives, moms, friends, workers, etc. We can't let our baggage bother us. We cannot let our fear be our focus either. We have to sweep it under pretty little rugs with nice fringes that are brushed all straight. We choose gorgeous rugs to place them under, the baggage that is. We wrap up in those rugs so we do not have to see the fears inside. We take time making sure that rug covers them all up, nothing can be seen to show that we are weak, or scared. So yes, even our means of hiding the fear is beautiful.
For me, it has been a process of accepting and acknowledging my FEAR FACTORS and seeing the cocoon I was allowing myself to depend on, instead of God. Yes, I'm a chicken. I would not have dared admitted it before. No matter what came my way I wanted people to think I was strong. I never wanted anyone to know losing my parents hurt me. I never wanted my exes to know they hurt me. I never wanted, well anyone to know, that I hurt. Never let them see you cry.......... RIGHT. In fact, I let one man abuse me on purpose at times because I wanted to prove I was strong in some stupid way.
I'm not strong at all. I lean on God. He holds my hand through those fear factors. When the waives of anxiety come and I am getting hit from satan or negative attitudes.... I ask God for help.
I am already at the point where I know all the thoughts in the world, all the trying to figure it out, the planning, the preparing, isn't enough. God is making me wait on Him. There are times in life when we have no clue what to do about jobs, children, relationships, and more. You might be in that place right now too. So many of us are since the economy fell out. We are just waiting, on God, and trying to give Him our Fears. We Americans are not used to being in this place of Fear. For so long, we have been comfortable.
I read this verse the other day and something hit me.... read it
18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18
Jesus peels back all the layers of all our cocoons using we ourselves, others, or by circumstances. Yes, He allows us to go through tough times sometimes to open our eyes to His Will and His plans for your life. As much stuff as I have been through, how could I not see this? Think on whatever you have been through. What all have you learned from those things happening, even the awful ones? He wants to peel them back so that He could take hold of us, you & me, and not the layers. He isn't interested in all that! He is interested in getting to the CORE of YOU. See what that verse says! It says, He wants us perfected 'in love'. WOWZERS. Sometimes peeling the layers back can be scary. Sometimes it makes us have to look at things that happened or even just our own personalities we were born with, and that can be scary. Sometimes it makes us realize how very real the future is also. Change can be scary. Growth can be frightening. We need not fear a darn thing. Fear is not of God. Fear is of and from satan. Jesus says we only need one layer in our cocoon and it should say JESUS.
If you are fearful today..... I pray for you. I reach across the miles for you. Jesus and I both do. I can't tell you how much I understand. Everything I have been through is truly no different than anyone else out there except it is a lot for one person to have gone through. That is the only difference..... Jesus, think about all he went through. In the Garden of Gethsemene when He was fixing to die on the cross, for us, He begged God to take this cup from Him. He actually sweated blood through His skin on His forehead He was SO Moved. Think of that! Jesus knows our Fear. All Fear is, is a HUGE Emotion that is difficult to handle. Yes, satan can move fear over us like a lead weight. At times you just feel the oppression but I'm sure satan was there in the garden taunting Jesus. He thought he had one, but Jesus won. Jesus did not die on the cross only to save us from our sins but he came to the Earth and then yes died to walk the walk we walk. He became like us, yet God. If He knows Fear then He can help us combat it. Ask Him to help you and I promise, He will.
In order to grow in the Lord, you have got to give Him your fears. The verse says it above. In order to be perfect in God you must not have FEAR. NO FEAR.
Write down what scares you, ails you, impedes you, assuades you, persuades you, holds you back, controls you, deludes you, oppresses you, keeps you from LIVING in Joy in Christ....... and say a prayer, write Jesus's name BIG acrossed them, and burn them in a fire. Let them go. Do this in the space provided below, for listing, or use seperate paper to burn. Together, we can let them go and move toward perfect love.
Prisoners Set FREE!
I am willing to bet that we all have skeletons hidden in our closets. I am a VERY bigtime goody two shoes, but as you read above, I had a hidden sin that ate away at me for years. God helped me to conquer that sin! Every day that passes is another day I walk toward God and away from the old me. You can do this too.
God heals and breaks bondages!
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The Pendulum Component
I have for many years been mulling over my own life as well as have been spending time with God. Together, I have been trying to figure out just why my life has not gone the way I would have expected. I go over this later in the book but suffice to say that I saw a direct relation between certain things in my life and the fruit of my efforts.
I have heard much ado about the New Age idea of Manifesting by using what they call the Law of Intention, The Law of Attraction, and the Law of Detachment to manipulate, create, and change their "universe". Everywhere I turn I hear someone saying, the universe did it for me. For those of you who do not know about what this is, it is the belief that you can dwell, think, say mantras, use vision boards, intuitively or subconsciously will things to happen by visualizing or allowing it into your life, etc. I am not going too far into their beliefs here but suffice to say it is their belief system that you, YOU, have the power within YOU to manifest a more prosperous life, to consciously create, attract, and realize your desires. There is no God factor at all included in this belief and if there is you are the god factor at hand. You are the creator of your future, your destiny, your life.
I believe that God already created this whole idea of manifesting and in fact God's Word even uses the word manifest many times, in fact 428 (see appendix for listing- Greek/Hebrew, definitions, times used, and pronunciations).
I know it might not be right to put my personal opinion into a book but darn-it, I'm about sick and tired of folks not realizing just how very Super-Natural our God really is. The New Age Movement did not create the idea of Manifesting, GOD DID.
Ok, so I have actually tried these other new age ideals before so its not like I'm NOT doing my research people. Over the years, during the time I was not walking with Christ, I had read numerous books about things of this nature. I wanted a quick fix. To me, it looked like God was taking His sweet ole time in getting around to fixing what I needed fixed. I read one book series that was in fact a fictional series and had to seriously consider all I learned it. It is very easy to be persuaded into believing such stories especially when I can see times in my life when I felt like maybe this was a true phenomena. I tried many of the ideas in the book and found that God had already shown me all those things already. It was nothing new. So, I have definitely done my homework and tried these things out in my own life in so many ways and will briefly describe here so you will have some examples.
Visualization: I will admit that when I visualize say a cheer before I tried out for cheerleader tryouts that I did complete that cheer better. When I give a speech if I practice time and again, the speech comes out better. When I pray to God, I visualize myself sitting at his feet or touching his robe on the steps before the throne. I do this to help me feel I am close to Him. I have even visualized or used my imagination to pretend to take a piece of His robe and wipe it on my eyes or the eyes of someone I was praying for. I do not visualize things, though, to attain them. Do you see the ATTITUDE difference? I tried this recently as an experiment but it did not work. I was trying to open a stable facility for people with developmental disabilities and other needs so I made what the new age movement is talking about everywhere called a Vision Board. I cut out all these pictures that represented what I wanted the stable facility to be like and encompass. Every day you are supposed to look at the board and just let it be, let it happen, let the doors open to open your dream. Nothing happened. 18 months of visioning, and nothing. That did not work at all. Even, Joe, my husband, has also dealt with the occult in his life and can attest to having tried such things to no avail. in his early years.
Now, I will tell you, if you do not know Christ, meaning you do not know better, satan can answer your pretend prayers or mantras. satan has the means to make happen what we desire to make us believe we are fulfilling these New Age fantasies. So do not be deceived. People do not want to hear this but it is the truth. I am constantly hearing people saying, I put it out to the universe.... ok. Um, the universe is listening to you? That is amazing because its pretty darn huge. I know my God is listening and yes He is pretty big but He is pretty personal as well.
Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 2 Timothy 4:2-4 ESV
satan has a way of Twisting Everything that is Good, Right, and True that God makes. I am going to try to present an idea that I believe satan has taken from God and completely twisted. Actually its not an idea, God invented it WAY before satan ever did. This idea by the New Age movement is simply a twisting of one of the BIGGEST AND MOST IMPORTANT facts of the laws of God, tips, rules, whatever you wish to call it that God, Jesus, and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit spoke of in the Bible through numerous individuals as well as themselves. In the Bible this is simply the Law of You Reap what You Sow.
One who is taught the word must share all good things with the one who teaches. Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, & especially to those who are of the household of faith. Galatians 6:6-10 ESV
And he said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear: with the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and still more will be added to you. Mark 4:24 ESV
The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:6-8
LET'S WORK IT OUT-
Newton's 3rd Law of Motion states that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction. The Pendulum Effect is similar but takes this idea further into the spiritual realm, a realm we have agree many Christians are afraid to admit to.
I define the Pendulum Effect as: The Pendulum Effect states that for every action both in the reality realm and the spiritual realm there is or can be an equal and opposite reaction and that those two realms are connected by God Himself. What one reaps in one realm, they may sow in the same or the other realm. And, that for every good and perfect thing God has created satan has tried to create an equal and opposite manifestation of the same thing.
So, what is the Pendulum Effect and how does it work? Let's look at some facts and break this down basic-ally. We have to go through a couple of steps for a bases and then we will get to the meat of the matter.
Connecting Two Worlds
1. If we all admit there is a supernatural realm, which I'm sure can be explained by science, and definitely by God, then we agree on something. If we believe that God sent His Son to die on a cross for our sins then we agree on another. Now, consider this. God sent His Son, a piece of the Heavenlies to come into a piece of the Earthly realm, a human body. He mixed a piece of one realm up with another. Have you thought of that? He was able to bridge the GAP that was created by the Garden of Eden events. There are many things that we just do not understand about the difference between the world we live in now and wherever Heaven is or is going to be. There is a great difference is what the Garden of Eden was like and how sin warped it.
2. Prayer as we have discussed earlier is indeed a spiritual realm connector as well. God allows the Holy Spirit to be the conduit. Most people believe in the power of prayer no matter their belief system: "According to an article in the April 26, 2004, issue of The Archives of Internal Medicine, an estimated one-third of adults use prayer, in addition to conventional medical care and complementary and alternative therapies, for health concerns. A 2008 study by Brandeis University found that of the 90 percent of Americans who claim to make a spiritual connection with God every day, three-quarters pray for themselves, families, and friends. Research conducted by Barna Research Group in 2009 reports that 79 percent of Americans believe that prayer speeds recovery."1 How does prayer work? We pray for certain things and if its God's will, He gives them to us or answers the prayer accordingly. Praying is bridging a gap between our reality and God's reality. It goes further than that though. Prayer, if done right, with the right spirit, humbleness, and with nothing inhibiting our prayers such as sins in our lives can as the Bible says, move mountains. Even non-religious based healing centers in hospitals profess to using prayer to combat disease.
3. So, the fact that most people believe in a supernatural realm and most people believe in prayer is a basis to start from in our analyzing of the Pendulum Effect and to see most people can agree that another realm does indeed exist for who would they be praying to? The New Age movement people believe they are praying to themselves and that their god is in them or they are their god. It differs depending on the individual and perhaps the religion but even they in this believe; are admitting to something higher out there.
We can also agree that God or the Bible told us we reap what we sow, right? I think everyone has heard the old adage "Do unto others as you would have done unto you". It is just a simplified form of the Reap = Sow idea.
For instance, take for example Susy. Susy has a crush on Billy. Susy has decided to do anything and everything she can to go out of her way to show Billy just how much she cares. She buys him an extra milk at lunch, she helps him with his math homework, she walks home from school with him and listens to him tell her all about bugs, a subject she hates. After a few weeks of this, Billy begins to show interest in Susy. She reaped what she sowed. She took time with him and he responded.
This truly is a basis of most all religions in fact and even just humanity. We have an inborn feeling and knowledge of the effect of reaping and sowing. I would go on further to say that if we don't others soon make us aware of the fact that you get what you give, in more ways than one.
Ok so we have agreed on these principles:
1. There is another realm, at least one which is supernatural.
2. There is power in prayer.
3. Newton's 3rd Law of Motion states that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.
4. So, if our reality is connected to God's reality through the Holy Spirit and the supernatural/ scientific connection that we have yet to define whether it be planes or a multidimensional universe then what we do here also could have an equal or positive reaction between the two realities. We see this in the example of prayer. Prayer is a means of manifesting or asking God to manifest things in our reality.
5. Another example of this is our belief in that what we do here in works we will reap blessings in heaven or God's realm.
6. Therefore the Pendulum Effect is True. For memory The Pendulum Effect states that for every action both in the reality realm and the spiritual realm there is or can be an equal and opposite reaction and that those two realms are connected by God Himself. What one reaps in one realm, they may sow in the same or the other realm. And, that for every good and perfect thing God has created satan has tried to create an equal and opposite manifestation of the same thing.
7. Last, Heaven is a place of ultimates. There, there is no black or white, teeny bit o sin allowed in, or shades. God is a God of Extremities whether people like it or want to admit it. He cannot allow sin in Heaven or disobedience. Therefore I think the Pendulum Effect is only true when dealing with the two realms of Heaven and Earth. Once we are in Heaven we won't have to worry anymore. God will abolish this effect.... unless there is more to the story we do not know about our futures.
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WHY IS THIS CONCEPT IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND?
We take it for granted daily that there is a supernatural reality going on right around us. We just do not have the eyes to see it all full time, all the time. God only grants us the God Goggles to see it when necessary to reprove, approve, warn, encourage, bless, or teach us. By acknowledging that there is a supernatural realm around us and understanding that ALL our actions and thoughts here in this realm affect the supernatural going ons then we can be more sufficient to fulfill what Christ needs out of us. satan has not only twisted the idea that God made in all of this and the factual basis of this but he has also tried to keep our eyes off of it for years. Churches for years have shunned the idea of speaking of the supernatural. It's a taboo subject at best. Even speaking or preaching on Spiritual Gifts which is by the way a GIFT straight from God Himself and should be boasted and adored and thanked for is something that can bring dissension in churches. satan DOES NOT WANT US TO CARE ABOUT THESE THINGS. He wants us entrances, busy, and to focus the God Given God Goggles God gave us elsewhere. If we just go through life busily trying to attain junk, junk and more junk or titles, careers, homes, you fill in the blank then we don't pay attention to how he is puppeteering us all along the way.
The Bible is our playbook to understand the spiritual realm. There are many scriptures that are written in fables or stories which sound crazy and extraordinary. Especially Revelations, we can try to surmise what it all means but we truly will not know until it all happens. God only allows us so much information and He allows it according to the time that it is needed so that we can help to complete His Story. Since we are all players in His Story He is Unfolding it right before our eyes daily. It was part of our punishment to have our God Goggles dimmed and have this great gulf between us.
SCIENTIFICALLY: We all can admit there is a supernatural realm we see sometimes and most times do not see. Now, I'm no genius and definitely do not understand physics and the like but I am pretty logical. I enjoy reading up on such subjects and try as hard as I can to understand the material. Physics scientists are studying all sorts of things now about Quantum Mechanic that are supposed to explain the existence of other planes and alternative realities. Even Boyd in his studies of war was able to take the basis of energy movement further and understand the ramifications of it. I am no scientist and I wish I had the mind to understand it all because I sense it and want to explain what I am thinking better here but God gave me the mind He gave me and so I will just try my best. Boyd used Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem, Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, and the Second Law of Thermodynamics to explain his OODA loop which we will talk about in a later chapter. From this set of considerations, Boyd concluded that to maintain an accurate or effective grasp of reality one must undergo a continuous cycle of interaction with the environment geared to assessing its constant changes. Now, he went on to explain more to this using Darwin's theory of evolution in a social contest of war and business (which I do not personally believe in the basis or beginning of. I believe God created us. I do see that there is some form of evolving that goes on in the animal and plant world, but I believe if that happens God ordains it. Furthermore, I think that perhaps this evolving is just another effect of our eating from the tree of knowledge. That knowledge permeates everything, thus the changing. God had a SET place that was made just for us. It needed no further changing unless He ordained it. Because of the sin, our world is ever changing now and I believe to fulfill God's needs and fulfilling of the covenant.) Anyways, the main point is that there are many things happening on the atomic level that we are just beginning to understand as well in Quantum Mechanics. There are ideas being tossed around about something called dark matter, a connecting force in the universe...
The idea here is that every time you drop a pebble in a lake, you get ripples. If prayer makes ripples in the spiritual realm and causes occurances to be allowed to happen here on so many levels then obviously the pebbles here and the pebbles there are connected. It makes sense to me that the Law of Reaping What You Sow can therefore be applied to both our realm and the spiritual realm.
Since no one, well not many, people have been to the spiritual realm and been able to come back we do not have much varifiable evidence to teach us about that realm Except in God's words. This is why I am opening up about my own life and hoping it helps others to open up about their's. We must as believers be HONEST with Each Other and With Ourselves. We must also be HONEST with God and about God. He needs for us to Stand up for Him and all He has done. We need to be completly in your face real about His Supernatural Self.
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God also allows consequences, like a parent. This is not punishment per se. He has punished before by taking His hand and protection from people, ie. Adam and Eve. He has allowed bad things such as the plagues on Egypt to try to get people's attention. The Pendulum Effect, reaping and sowing, is just a simple heavenly law God made that is a basis for how the two realms work together.
You cannot EARN your way into heaven. Christ did that for you. The idea of reaping and sowing, God created it. He set the wheels in motion.
If you analyze yourself and are honest, you have many, many good points. You have great assets, motives, feelings, knowledge, personality traits, body traits, and more. BUT, you must also admit to the negative aspects of all of these you contain also.
I have noticed in my life that I most definitely reap what I sow and that it might take years to take effect but there are consequences to EACH and EVERY action I ever take or have taken. There are also consequences in the spiritual realm for actions I take or decide not to take. Because of my decision to accept Christ in my heart, because of my rank as an orphan, because of my having children (God's little ones), no matter what I have dished out, He provided for us. I have not had a luxurious life but He has always provided but definitely gave me spankings where needed and also gave blessings where deserved too.
I am going to try and present later in the book the key action in my life that God has opened my eyes to that was the door opener for the evil that I have had in my life. I also present miracles and answered prayers as well. God has been so good to me. He has molded me through it all.
© "God Goggles"
4 Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, 15 and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. 16 For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. 17 Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. 18 For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.
Hebrews 2 ESV
He knows what it is to be tempted.
"Sin is like 100 proof spiritual alchohol, the more you take in, the fuzzier your God Goggles get" kwy
Before I Spill My Guts Let's Do a Short Project
In life, we all have our Sin Factor. The Sin Factor is our own personal sin barometer. Some people's barometer is labeled with Drunkeness. Some people's barometer is labeled with Slothfullness. Some people have many sins listed on their barometers and some, well, they only have a few they deal with. There are millions of mixtures and no two are the same.
My Sin Factor barometer was labeled with lust/ occult. I've always been a very 'good' girl. I never had issues with drinking, drugs, stealing, cheating, or even small problems like jealousy (of anyone but my sister), coveting, being negative, hating people or being predjudiced, etc. I do have problems with gluttony, laziness, and getting off course with love relationships though as well as being drawn to the occult. These are all on my Sin Factor barometer. My barometer will never look just like yours, and yours will never look just like mine. We are all different and unique therefore our Sin Factors are too.
Another important part of the Sin Factor is that it is ever changing. What your Sin Factors look like today may be totally different ten years from now or ten days from now. This all depends on how close you get to Christ, what life experiences you are going through, and how satan is tempting you.
Now, the things I'm going to tell you about my own SIN FACTOR below work the same. When I'm working for God, man does satan hit me and he REHITS me with the problems below. He knows where I am weak and where I go to when I'm tired, bored, or feeling depressed. I'm just about through with learning how to overcome them and I may get hit once a year now or when I'm on fire for God and close to a breakthrough. You have to learn to Recognize your own SIN FACTORS and have a conscious understanding when you get Hit so you can thwart it off. That is part of what you are learning through God Goggles.
Have you ever watched preachers, well known pastors, who for years worked for God? Have you watched as their whole ministries were taken apart piece by piece by a simple flagrant night or affair? Now, I know that it is not just No Big Deal but think about it. Why in the world, first of all, does our culture love to hear these things? Why in the world is it such a big deal when just about every married man I know has at one time or another had an affair? I'm NOT making excuses for these pastors. Yes, they are held to a higher 'standard' than the simple laymen. Yes, they know better. BUT, they do more for Christ DAILY than all of us sometimes do in a year. They are going to be hit harder and in turn the repercussions are worse also. satan loves stuff like this. He eats it up. satan is THE leading 'reporter' if you will and will report on people who are leaders. For men, what is their greatest need? A woman, and to feel respected by that woman, and to be loved by that woman. I feel and my heart goes out to pastor’s wives everywhere. Pastors are so vulnerable. They have to be vulnerable to a point to serve the women of their congregation but they also have to be able to put up boundaries and delegate some of that duty to other women. It's a tough place for them and when they get tired, hungry or feel unrespect they are weak and vulnerable.
My point is this, the Pendulum Effect is at motion here people. Look back at your own life. When you were following Christ, was not life more difficult? Truly following not just pretending. When you were living for yourself, did not life seem easier- more fluid- even more advantageous at times? It has been for me. I started following God and all HELL broke loose, my husband too. So, back to the SIN FACTOR.
If we are not willing to admit our sins then I severely question whether Christ is in us. Christ, living in our hearts, really amplifies the Sin Factor Barometer, at least for me. Man, I tell you what, the good thing about Christ is He doesn't just blast you either. He gently tells us over time. If we keep living in sin, then He blasts us bigtime and sometimes we even get a jolt, but that is another story.
Over the years I have seen a key relationship between how good a person is and how bad they are. I think it has something to do with the Pendulum Effect but I have yet to be able to test my theory. I would love to do a study on it though. My thoughts are as follows. It seems to me the more a person works for the Lord or has the potential to make a real change/ cause/ or effect in te spiritual realm for Christ as well as the physical realm, then they are hit MORE than the person who could care less. It seems to me that those who are walking closer to Christ get it more in the tush so to speak. It is kind of like those tests we take in college- the job predictor tests. They group us into four types of personality groups with several different mixes. REWORD KIM. Well, I think our Sin Factor barometer is the same. The barometer looks like the example below. You don't start at the top or the bottom- you start in the middle- at ground ZERO. You choose to start walking towards Christ or away from Him. In doing so, the opposition hits you with an equal and lateral hit according to your Spiritual Level and closeness to God.
Think about Jesus when satan tempted Him in ..... Have you ever wondered how come satan himself did the tempting? I know that satan wanted to do it because well jeepers he is the one who was jealous of Jesus's RANK or status as King. I think it is also though because Jesus was so perfect and so close to God. You just can't get closer to that. satan probably sends his minions to people according to their levels, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you send your Best Soldiers, your Navy Seals to do the High Level Intelligence Killings or Rescues? Of course. satan is not dumb. He wasn't gonna play with Jesus, he meant business. He is the leader and most crafty so he went.
So, check out the barometer below.
Example 1:
Now on this barometer you fill it in.
Example 2:
I know that there are probably a million things about yourself you would NEVER tell a soul or maybe just tell your spouse/ best friend/ or significant other. God says though that in the end nothing will be hidden. So, why not be truthful now and help others so they are not in the same boats as you are or I are? I believe an important key in the relationship of walking with Christ is admitting our strengths and weaknesses. Fellowship helps us to be accountable. Now, my going public like this, well, yah, it’s a bit much but I've been waiting years for someone else to do it and well I haven't seen it happen. So here I go.
Being left by chance or by choice is a Resounding thread in my life whether it was me being left, or, me leaving others. I have been left by two husbands, three boyfriends, and had the sad experience of a possible divorce in my current marriage. I left all my family back home in Texas in 1997 to move here. I even had to leave my son with his father and his family to raise, just bringing my other two children with me to N.C. I did not leave by choice but by necessity in trying to make the maturist decision for all and to support at least two of my children at that time to the best of my ability. My parents were killed by drunk drivers, another time of being left, not by choice. I have been utterly alone and have been an individual who has caused others to be alone. I heard someone say once that hurting people hurt people. I think that is so true. I did not mean to go about and do it but have hurt others nonetheless in my search for a place to belong.
I have a good attitude though and do not have a negative one. I do not believe I am a victim I believe I am a survivor because of God.... ~ I am the Prodigal Girl, the woman at the well with five husbands, the orphan, and more. I identify with so many in God's Word, people He still loved.
Moving to North Carolina was one of the most difficult decisions I ever made.... leaving all family, friends, and anyone I knew with two children was TOUGH, plus having no money or set job to go to. I have gone out into the wilderness so to speak in my life both in many ways. I had different intentions and motives, was raised to know better, but nonetheless, here I am.
I think I can probably identify with most or all of the problems of any of you reading this book. The only thing, Lord protect me against this, satan has not thrown at me is disease or losing a limb. Other than that, I have been in most all your shoes.
I have sought a home since losing my parents in 1985. I missed the boat though folks. I had a home the whole time, in my heart, since accepting Christ at age nine. God was always there and if I had just listened I would have realized I never needed more people to heal that hole. I didn't need to keep trying to get back to that place I lost, those people I lost, the love I lost. I had it the whole time and it is twenty gazillion times better than anything I have found in my search since then.
I have left God at times in my life as well.
I remember long ago talking to God once about how I felt I was one of those goody two shoes type of people. I really did not grasp the fact that I had had a child out of wedlock and how that was against God. I had a self-righteous attitude of my life, my personality, my past and present, my motives, everything. I still viewed myself as being one of the most 'good' people I knew as far as people go. Compared to all my friends, I felt like I had risen above and done much better, sin wise. It is true, I didn't do drugs or go to parties, I didn't put money first, etc. like other people but I was severely mistaken on that note because even one sin is enough to put us in hell... I had lost my parents and stood strong, not caving in. I felt like I was one of the best people around!
I told God that it was hard for me to understand sinners because I had accepted Him so early in life. I actually wondered how I could be a Christian if I didn't understand the gravity of sin. I did not think I had done enough to understand or be thankful for how He had saved me and felt I needed to understand what exactly it was He was saving me from. I remember where I was standing when I was speaking to him, in the middle of my mobile home, kids in the den... mulling this life over. For some reason, I equated that there are levels of sin and that mine were better, not as bad as other people's, and were covered. I knew that technically God says all sin is the same. I knew that I had accepted Jesus but since I wasn't walking with Him daily, my Eyes were Shut Tight.
I thought I was doing everything right. I was working hard. I was making decisions. I was in control....
So, I decided to start messing up a little so I could actually understand sinners! How incredulous is that? It's crazy but that is what I did.
I began to use astrology to help me "figure life out." I thought that those once a day little quips were more focused and answered my questions. I thought it was more meant for me than the Bible which was just a book written for everyone. I wanted something focused on talking to me.... All that did was open more doors in the spiritual realm for attack though.
At that same time God kept calling to me and trying to speak to me. He placed the most wonderful people in my midst, a co-worker who walked with the Lord and who I watched pray with her kids before dropping them off for school, a family up the street who had a yard sale and sold me about a 100 books on Christ/ church/ theology for just ten bucks, a best friend at work who took me to church with her family and loved the Lord. I was walking with one foot on God's side and one on satan's....
I threw myself into body building. I was tanning and eating all the right foods. I got skinny and toned. I spent about two hours per day at the gym while my kids would wait. I was looking for some kind of healing inside. I wanted to feel like I did in high school. I wanted to be in control of what I ate and how I looked. I wanted a chance at the life I felt I lost when I got pregnant with my oldest son. I thought if I looked beautiful on the outside I could find a job making enough to get home somehow.... I was getting into shape for all the wrong reasons. It was about control and trying to control my huge mistake of a life. Getting in shape should have been about getting in shape inside as well as the outside.
I dated a well-groomed boy and fellow body builder from in town. I had hoped it would work with him because he was an upstanding fella but he chose another girl... mainly because who would want a girl with kids by different men? I began to see my situation as hopeless. I was a single mother with children by two different men. In my book and the book of what I had learned growing up, I was now second rate. No college degree did not help either. satan continually reminded me of how I had screwed up and how little chance I had to fix things.
I remarried to a man who loved the Lord and went to church with me but again satan hit our marriage in the same way he had hit my previous marriage with the temptations of others. It was a difficult battle that I fought and fought both in prayer on my knees and in life, in actions. I lost the battle though.... I only pray God won the battle eventually on the other side.
During every time I have been single, I was empty, lonely, and lost. I cried daily for my family back home in Texas. Even during times I have been married, I have yearned for Home. HOME. I just wanted to go home. Dorothy, you know from the Wizard of Oz, she ain't got nothing on me! I want home like I want food and that is saying a lot.
I was and am a couple of thousand miles from home and so so alone. At that time it was towards the end of the years of working in the factory and I had tried desperately to advance to better serve my family and make more money. Even when I remarried I worked HARD. When I was single again, I worked even HARDER. I was exhausted. I would go home exhausted and crash on the couch. I was depressed and dejected. I felt like crap, literal crap. Here I had children by two men. This was just wrong in my family! I felt like the black sheep, the outsider, the outcast. I felt like noone would want me. The way my family acted when I would call home and talk about wanting to return... I felt unwanted and that it was better to stay away, far away.... I looked at my hands and saw blood, my own flesh and blood from the abortions. I felt like the scum of the Earth. I had a son recently diagnosed with autism who I was desperately trying to help and work with and a son I yearned for, cried for, died inside for, a HUGE hole in my heart in Texas. I had responsibilities here- and love there. I was Torn. absolutely torn. I have been for years.
I wanted to go home. I wanted home. I needed home. I wanted to go home to my Momma. I remember having dreams of my home with my parents. I could remember every detail down to the fibers in the carpeting. I felt free when I slept and dead while awake. Momma, I wanted her to hug me and hold me tight. Daddy, I wanted him to fix it all and kick these guys butts who were wrong to me. Momma, I wanted her to confirm that all would be ok and life would get better. Silence. Nothing but silence in my heart except for that soft gentle love from Jesus every now and then... a calm whisper..... But, there was no home to go to. I didn't know how to fix it all. There were more years of hardship, being close to God, then away, then close, and away. Taking it all into my own hands.....
Till God stepped in and stepped in Bigtime. He took me, into His wings and then I had only thought I had lived in a Spiritual Battle... I should have thought twice.
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Long story short, I got what I asked for. I wish I had not made that decision years ago ~ the decision to figure out what it was like on the other side.... Perhaps you are in the same position? When we open doors... we should be prepared to walk through them.
Fear Factor
Fear. What does that word mean to you? What have you feared in life? Who have you feared in life? Why have you feared in life? Where does fear come from?
There is or was a popular television show called the Fear Factor. In it, people were tested and made to do things they probably never would have done, and then they earn money by doing so. It's a type of gameshow and I'm sure you have heard of it. I titled this chapter Fear Factor because I could not think of a better name. The people who started that show were geniuses. I had already used Sin Factor in the prior chapter and so it just makes sense but humans DO love fear. They love it. Why I will never understand as I detest it but humans, they all seem to thrive on that moment of suspense, the moment where you hinge on life and death, grossness and purity, stepping into the unknown.... Fear is a Factor in every decision we make in life, in my estimation. Why? See below.
Fear. Why do we love it? Sure we love it but why? I believe it is because fear is what drives us all at the most basic level.
Think about these questions for a moment. Think about what drives you.... what fears you try to conceal, not think of, deny, run from, and conceal. Here is a simple way of examining yourself to find your fears. Tell me what you love. Tell me all the things you love and aim for in life. Then, turn them inside out. Look at the root of those things. Why do you need those things? What are they helping you to run from? For example: Many people want gorgeous big home with lots of light, furniture, and places to entertain. Why? Well, for certain people it could be because they grew up poor and they never want to go back to that place. See? They were afraid of being who they were in their old identity.
So, think about what drives you for a bit and then while you think about that, I will tell you my fears. Nope, I'm not embarrassed to either....
I have told yall just about everything about my own life. You know pretty much all my fears. I feared being left, abandoned, being left by the rapture- because of my having lived what was just like the rapture in my parents dying so unexpectedly, in men leaving, in losing my son, in losing my mind from losing my son, in losing my family, in losing respect, in so many more ways. I lived in fear for years. When Y2K happened, I feared it. When 911 happened, I sat in my college English class and slowly crumpled inside even more. I fought back, though, trying to attain my law enforcement status... but then was let go from that as well. I feared men in my past, rape- cheating- divorce- abuse- verbal abuse... you name it. I wanted a strong man who could protect me like my parents had, especially given my autistic nature and not understanding the world, yet I was afraid of men like that because my own parental figures had been soft and gentile men. I had positive men growing up, then what happened?
FEAR of the unknown. Looking back over my life, since my parents' deaths, I have never sense had a place or time in which I could truly be unfearful, except when I am near to the Lord. I have ever been searching for home, for somewhere to be fully accepted, fully complete, and fully stable. Peace is what I yearn for.
I have feared death, oh how I have feared death. I see now that most all my actions in life have been determined by my fear of death. How?
I don't go on vacations or fly in planes often- might croke. I was an airport firefighter. I learned all about planes.... yep. Made the decision to stay home.
I worry about my family like crazy. I am consistently calling my last Nanny left and asking her if she is ok and probably need to phone more here of late. I worry for her daily. She is the last of my 'kinsmen' of anything or anyone I come from. All of you who are older, or even younger, who have lost loved ones whom you 'come from' understand this, the awkwardness of being alone. Me, I'm an orphan. I never really thought about that until I was much older. For years I covered it up and just flat did not face it at all till one day once we moved to North Carolina my then boyfriend took me by a local orphanage to possibly volunteer. I, looking at those children, realized I was them, and they were me. We were alone. Alone. Or so I thought...
Men. I tried to fill the alone whole with men, many different kinds. Of course, I do not want to sound like a floosy and I maintained long term relationships but they were each different in their unique ways excepting one point. I chose men who might not really challenge me in life. I did not want someone who would challenge me to do things I might never try.... till Joe.
What else? Jobs. Yah I want to be in law enforcement and I know that is dangerous but I have a gun, I have tools like hand to hand combat, and I have common sense. When I think about it, I chose this type career from having watched my three uncles whom were in LE and knowing they could 'handle' themselves. I believe many women in LE are in it because of past abuse and wanting to protect themselves.
Truly though, in my heart of hearts I know I have not gone for the jobs I could have had because of fear. How so? Well, you have to spend quite a few years in college preparing for those jobs. Each time I have started college, I quit after those semesters. Why? My mother died attending college. This is why she and my father were out at night. Subconsciously I feared not completing.... it is difficult to explain. Writing all this down, I feel like such a woos or that I probably look like one. Oh well.
My body. Yep. For years I obsessed about being thin and staying thin. I wanted nothing to do with being anything like my mother and the weight she gained. When she died, she had a seat buckle on. My grandmother told me a man said he tried to get her out before the truck exploded but the seat buckle was stuck and she was just too heavy. As he was trying to get the buckle off he saw the fire. The fire got too hot and he had to jump back. He watched as she exploded in a gulf of flames with the fire. Not only that, but mother was teased for her weight. She had been drop dead gorgeous, almost modelesque. When she had me, that all changed. She never blamed me and always loved me but I knew she was unhappy. Dad did all he could to make her feel loved but she still had a whole in her heart because of her body.
I obsessed about being thin from a very young age. It is a wonder I was even able to have children because I was borderline anorexic! Actually, if I were to talk to a doc they may say I was. I might should ask. I used to eat once a day in high school. Yep, once. I felt such solice in being able to control my food intake. Laster in life it progressed to body building. I was a body builder for a number of years. I obsessed about being in shape, for the wrong reasons though. It is difficult to explain unless you have been there. It is important for us to care for our bodies - God commands us to. The difference is that we should work on our bodies not out of fear, but out of love for the temple He gave us. Read the body chapter for more.
I could write another book on my weight issues.... but the closer I got to the age my mother and father were when they died I slowly began to not care. I feared the unknown. What was it going to be like being past their ages? How would I handle it? I have no clue how to be a mother for older children, boys, or girls. I have no clue how to be a grandmother... excepting I can look to my own grandparents but there is something hugely different about watching your own parents do it. I have no point of reference.
I have no clue how to handle dying, before my children do. I have not watched my parents hold their heads high and face death straight on. You know parents do that. They act strong although they are fearful. I watched my Mimi's eyes as she was near death. There was a fear there. She loved Jesus, I know she did... but there was something different there but also strong. She just took it head on, for us. I haven't seen my momma do this though. I was cheated that.
Another issue under it all... I felt that if I were not too pretty, then men would not want to 'hurt' me. My having been raped and dealing with past men has even come between my current marriage. Oh how I feel for my loving husband and all he has put up with me. He has endured many years of not having much attention because of my issues. Summed up though, I did not care about my body anymore because I did not want to be desirable.
Fear of facing Christ. Oh yah...... I believe I'm covered by His blood but I still have to face Him! I have to stand there knowing I have killed two of my own children (abortion), slept with men out of marriage, divorced/ remarried (whole can of worms), cussed, said His name in vain more than a hundred few times, coveted, hated, affected other people's lives in ways that probably did not lead them to Christ, you name it.... I have to stand there and ask Him to cover all that with His pain He went through, for me. That is pretty darn scary. Pretty embarassing. Pretty real.
You might be reading this and be thinking, heck, that's nothing. You might be thinking, wow, that's just life honey. Everybody is doing those things. You have to remember my early 'autistic' type self. If you know much about people like that, they tend to be high achieving in certain areas and not so much in other areas. They may lack in social graces at times too, but go on to lead healthy and productive lives. Me, I was able to overcome the social graces part. God helped me with that. So, I had high aspirations for me. I had high goals and expectations. I knew I could attain more. God blessed me with SO many skills its just crazy how lucky I was and am- but I did not use them wisely. That is the gravest of all mistakes, to not use abilities or blessings given us for His glory. Of all my sins, for this I am Most ashamed.
So, yes I have lived in fear for so long. I had a GREAT need for a HOME. All I could think about were the sensations, smells, the comfort, stability, of my home with my parents. I did not care or realize I was affecting other people even in my choices for I just needed to get back home.
For me, keeping a stable job, stable income, and trying to find a stable home life meant the world. Keeping that gorgeous physique so I could for sure land another job if need be meant the world also. No, I have never had an outstanding job making millions of dollars but I had jobs that I felt comfortable in, stable, and knew if I kept my looks at the time I could land any job I wanted.
In the past few years, I lost it all and almost lost my current marriage. I have realized that God has allowed me to lose all these things in the recent years to show me He is all that matters. I lost man after man. I lost home after home. I lost job after job. I lost goal after goal. I lost my son. I lost my sister recently due to some disagreements. I lost my looks in gaining weight and losing that fire in my eyes, the fire of aliveness. I have come near losing my teens as in not being able to provide all they wish at times. I have lost my pride. I have lost my willpower at times. I have lost my faith in myself even.....
This project is not all about me.... though the rest of the chapter is, but right now, reflect and see if anything I have said above reminds you, of you. How do you feel about that? Answer below.
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My FEAR Cocoon. --
For years I had this nice mental cocoon I kept on. Picture me all rolled up in a beautiful pink cocoon with gorgeous leaves all round. Each layer read a word: JOB, MONEY, STATUS, HEALTH, BEAUTY, SMILE, PERSONALITY, VERSATILITY, LEADER, BACKBONE, STRONG, WISDOM, GIFTS, SKILLS, SMART, STRENGTH IN NUMBERS (KIDS), MEN, FAMILY, even SPIRITUAL GIFTS....... recently GOALS TO MAKE STABLE FOR KIDS/ ADULTS WITH GRIEF AND DISABILITES ETC GOALS TO MAKE KIDS AEROBICS FACILITY GOALS TO PAINT AND SELL MORE PAINTINGS GOAL TO AFFECT OTHERS AND LIVE FOR OTHERS..... I needed a way to sum it up but God continues to close the doors.
Why?
Slowly, God has allowed everything I put stock in to be peeled away. I kept putting on the peels by eating, here recently, trying to not face it but the more peels I put on, the more He peeled off.
It's hard for a perfectionist to admit they are not perfect but I'm admitting it today. Why to you guys? Everyone wants everyone to think they are perfect. Well, I'm not. I said it. ahhhh. I feel much better.
ha. Being a woman in America is tough. We have to be everything to everyone, except ourselves. We feel we must be Perfect wives, moms, friends, workers, etc. We can't let our baggage bother us. We cannot let our fear be our focus either. We have to sweep it under pretty little rugs with nice fringes that are brushed all straight. We choose gorgeous rugs to place them under, the baggage that is. We wrap up in those rugs so we do not have to see the fears inside. We take time making sure that rug covers them all up, nothing can be seen to show that we are weak, or scared. So yes, even our means of hiding the fear is beautiful.For me, it has been a process of accepting and acknowledging my FEAR FACTORS and seeing the cocoon I was allowing myself to depend on, instead of God. Yes, I'm a chicken. I would not have dared admitted it before. No matter what came my way I wanted people to think I was strong. I never wanted anyone to know losing my parents hurt me. I never wanted my exes to know they hurt me. I never wanted, well anyone to know, that I hurt. Never let them see you cry.......... RIGHT. In fact, I let one man abuse me on purpose at times because I wanted to prove I was strong in some stupid way.
I'm not strong at all. I lean on God. He holds my hand through those fear factors. When the waives of anxiety come and I am getting hit from satan or negative attitudes.... I ask God for help.
I am already at the point where I know all the thoughts in the world, all the trying to figure it out, the planning, the preparing, isn't enough. God is making me wait on Him. There are times in life when we have no clue what to do about jobs, children, relationships, and more. You might be in that place right now too. So many of us are since the economy fell out. We are just waiting, on God, and trying to give Him our Fears. We Americans are not used to being in this place of Fear. For so long, we have been comfortable.
I read this verse the other day and something hit me.... read it
18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18
Jesus peels back all the layers of all our cocoons using we ourselves, others, or by circumstances. Yes, He allows us to go through tough times sometimes to open our eyes to His Will and His plans for your life. As much stuff as I have been through, how could I not see this? Think on whatever you have been through. What all have you learned from those things happening, even the awful ones? He wants to peel them back so that He could take hold of us, you & me, and not the layers. He isn't interested in all that! He is interested in getting to the CORE of YOU. See what that verse says! It says, He wants us perfected 'in love'. WOWZERS. Sometimes peeling the layers back can be scary. Sometimes it makes us have to look at things that happened or even just our own personalities we were born with, and that can be scary. Sometimes it makes us realize how very real the future is also. Change can be scary. Growth can be frightening. We need not fear a darn thing. Fear is not of God. Fear is of and from satan. Jesus says we only need one layer in our cocoon and it should say JESUS.
If you are fearful today..... I pray for you. I reach across the miles for you. Jesus and I both do. I can't tell you how much I understand. Everything I have been through is truly no different than anyone else out there except it is a lot for one person to have gone through. That is the only difference..... Jesus, think about all he went through. In the Garden of Gethsemene when He was fixing to die on the cross, for us, He begged God to take this cup from Him. He actually sweated blood through His skin on His forehead He was SO Moved. Think of that! Jesus knows our Fear. All Fear is, is a HUGE Emotion that is difficult to handle. Yes, satan can move fear over us like a lead weight. At times you just feel the oppression but I'm sure satan was there in the garden taunting Jesus. He thought he had one, but Jesus won. Jesus did not die on the cross only to save us from our sins but he came to the Earth and then yes died to walk the walk we walk. He became like us, yet God. If He knows Fear then He can help us combat it. Ask Him to help you and I promise, He will.
In order to grow in the Lord, you have got to give Him your fears. The verse says it above. In order to be perfect in God you must not have FEAR. NO FEAR.
Write down what scares you, ails you, impedes you, assuades you, persuades you, holds you back, controls you, deludes you, oppresses you, keeps you from LIVING in Joy in Christ....... and say a prayer, write Jesus's name BIG acrossed them, and burn them in a fire. Let them go. Do this in the space provided below, for listing, or use seperate paper to burn. Together, we can let them go and move toward perfect love.
Prisoners Set FREE!
I am willing to bet that we all have skeletons hidden in our closets. I am a VERY bigtime goody two shoes, but as you read above, I had a hidden sin that ate away at me for years. God helped me to conquer that sin! Every day that passes is another day I walk toward God and away from the old me. You can do this too.
God heals and breaks bondages!
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The Pendulum Component
I have for many years been mulling over my own life as well as have been spending time with God. Together, I have been trying to figure out just why my life has not gone the way I would have expected. I go over this later in the book but suffice to say that I saw a direct relation between certain things in my life and the fruit of my efforts.
I have heard much ado about the New Age idea of Manifesting by using what they call the Law of Intention, The Law of Attraction, and the Law of Detachment to manipulate, create, and change their "universe". Everywhere I turn I hear someone saying, the universe did it for me. For those of you who do not know about what this is, it is the belief that you can dwell, think, say mantras, use vision boards, intuitively or subconsciously will things to happen by visualizing or allowing it into your life, etc. I am not going too far into their beliefs here but suffice to say it is their belief system that you, YOU, have the power within YOU to manifest a more prosperous life, to consciously create, attract, and realize your desires. There is no God factor at all included in this belief and if there is you are the god factor at hand. You are the creator of your future, your destiny, your life.
I believe that God already created this whole idea of manifesting and in fact God's Word even uses the word manifest many times, in fact 428 (see appendix for listing- Greek/Hebrew, definitions, times used, and pronunciations).
I know it might not be right to put my personal opinion into a book but darn-it, I'm about sick and tired of folks not realizing just how very Super-Natural our God really is. The New Age Movement did not create the idea of Manifesting, GOD DID.
Ok, so I have actually tried these other new age ideals before so its not like I'm NOT doing my research people. Over the years, during the time I was not walking with Christ, I had read numerous books about things of this nature. I wanted a quick fix. To me, it looked like God was taking His sweet ole time in getting around to fixing what I needed fixed. I read one book series that was in fact a fictional series and had to seriously consider all I learned it. It is very easy to be persuaded into believing such stories especially when I can see times in my life when I felt like maybe this was a true phenomena. I tried many of the ideas in the book and found that God had already shown me all those things already. It was nothing new. So, I have definitely done my homework and tried these things out in my own life in so many ways and will briefly describe here so you will have some examples.
Visualization: I will admit that when I visualize say a cheer before I tried out for cheerleader tryouts that I did complete that cheer better. When I give a speech if I practice time and again, the speech comes out better. When I pray to God, I visualize myself sitting at his feet or touching his robe on the steps before the throne. I do this to help me feel I am close to Him. I have even visualized or used my imagination to pretend to take a piece of His robe and wipe it on my eyes or the eyes of someone I was praying for. I do not visualize things, though, to attain them. Do you see the ATTITUDE difference? I tried this recently as an experiment but it did not work. I was trying to open a stable facility for people with developmental disabilities and other needs so I made what the new age movement is talking about everywhere called a Vision Board. I cut out all these pictures that represented what I wanted the stable facility to be like and encompass. Every day you are supposed to look at the board and just let it be, let it happen, let the doors open to open your dream. Nothing happened. 18 months of visioning, and nothing. That did not work at all. Even, Joe, my husband, has also dealt with the occult in his life and can attest to having tried such things to no avail. in his early years.
Now, I will tell you, if you do not know Christ, meaning you do not know better, satan can answer your pretend prayers or mantras. satan has the means to make happen what we desire to make us believe we are fulfilling these New Age fantasies. So do not be deceived. People do not want to hear this but it is the truth. I am constantly hearing people saying, I put it out to the universe.... ok. Um, the universe is listening to you? That is amazing because its pretty darn huge. I know my God is listening and yes He is pretty big but He is pretty personal as well.
Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 2 Timothy 4:2-4 ESV
satan has a way of Twisting Everything that is Good, Right, and True that God makes. I am going to try to present an idea that I believe satan has taken from God and completely twisted. Actually its not an idea, God invented it WAY before satan ever did. This idea by the New Age movement is simply a twisting of one of the BIGGEST AND MOST IMPORTANT facts of the laws of God, tips, rules, whatever you wish to call it that God, Jesus, and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit spoke of in the Bible through numerous individuals as well as themselves. In the Bible this is simply the Law of You Reap what You Sow.
One who is taught the word must share all good things with the one who teaches. Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, & especially to those who are of the household of faith. Galatians 6:6-10 ESV
And he said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear: with the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and still more will be added to you. Mark 4:24 ESV
The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:6-8
LET'S WORK IT OUT-
Newton's 3rd Law of Motion states that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction. The Pendulum Effect is similar but takes this idea further into the spiritual realm, a realm we have agree many Christians are afraid to admit to.
I define the Pendulum Effect as: The Pendulum Effect states that for every action both in the reality realm and the spiritual realm there is or can be an equal and opposite reaction and that those two realms are connected by God Himself. What one reaps in one realm, they may sow in the same or the other realm. And, that for every good and perfect thing God has created satan has tried to create an equal and opposite manifestation of the same thing.
So, what is the Pendulum Effect and how does it work? Let's look at some facts and break this down basic-ally. We have to go through a couple of steps for a bases and then we will get to the meat of the matter.
Connecting Two Worlds
1. If we all admit there is a supernatural realm, which I'm sure can be explained by science, and definitely by God, then we agree on something. If we believe that God sent His Son to die on a cross for our sins then we agree on another. Now, consider this. God sent His Son, a piece of the Heavenlies to come into a piece of the Earthly realm, a human body. He mixed a piece of one realm up with another. Have you thought of that? He was able to bridge the GAP that was created by the Garden of Eden events. There are many things that we just do not understand about the difference between the world we live in now and wherever Heaven is or is going to be. There is a great difference is what the Garden of Eden was like and how sin warped it.
2. Prayer as we have discussed earlier is indeed a spiritual realm connector as well. God allows the Holy Spirit to be the conduit. Most people believe in the power of prayer no matter their belief system: "According to an article in the April 26, 2004, issue of The Archives of Internal Medicine, an estimated one-third of adults use prayer, in addition to conventional medical care and complementary and alternative therapies, for health concerns. A 2008 study by Brandeis University found that of the 90 percent of Americans who claim to make a spiritual connection with God every day, three-quarters pray for themselves, families, and friends. Research conducted by Barna Research Group in 2009 reports that 79 percent of Americans believe that prayer speeds recovery."1 How does prayer work? We pray for certain things and if its God's will, He gives them to us or answers the prayer accordingly. Praying is bridging a gap between our reality and God's reality. It goes further than that though. Prayer, if done right, with the right spirit, humbleness, and with nothing inhibiting our prayers such as sins in our lives can as the Bible says, move mountains. Even non-religious based healing centers in hospitals profess to using prayer to combat disease.
3. So, the fact that most people believe in a supernatural realm and most people believe in prayer is a basis to start from in our analyzing of the Pendulum Effect and to see most people can agree that another realm does indeed exist for who would they be praying to? The New Age movement people believe they are praying to themselves and that their god is in them or they are their god. It differs depending on the individual and perhaps the religion but even they in this believe; are admitting to something higher out there.
We can also agree that God or the Bible told us we reap what we sow, right? I think everyone has heard the old adage "Do unto others as you would have done unto you". It is just a simplified form of the Reap = Sow idea.
For instance, take for example Susy. Susy has a crush on Billy. Susy has decided to do anything and everything she can to go out of her way to show Billy just how much she cares. She buys him an extra milk at lunch, she helps him with his math homework, she walks home from school with him and listens to him tell her all about bugs, a subject she hates. After a few weeks of this, Billy begins to show interest in Susy. She reaped what she sowed. She took time with him and he responded.
This truly is a basis of most all religions in fact and even just humanity. We have an inborn feeling and knowledge of the effect of reaping and sowing. I would go on further to say that if we don't others soon make us aware of the fact that you get what you give, in more ways than one.
Ok so we have agreed on these principles:
1. There is another realm, at least one which is supernatural.
2. There is power in prayer.
3. Newton's 3rd Law of Motion states that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.
4. So, if our reality is connected to God's reality through the Holy Spirit and the supernatural/ scientific connection that we have yet to define whether it be planes or a multidimensional universe then what we do here also could have an equal or positive reaction between the two realities. We see this in the example of prayer. Prayer is a means of manifesting or asking God to manifest things in our reality.
5. Another example of this is our belief in that what we do here in works we will reap blessings in heaven or God's realm.
6. Therefore the Pendulum Effect is True. For memory The Pendulum Effect states that for every action both in the reality realm and the spiritual realm there is or can be an equal and opposite reaction and that those two realms are connected by God Himself. What one reaps in one realm, they may sow in the same or the other realm. And, that for every good and perfect thing God has created satan has tried to create an equal and opposite manifestation of the same thing.
7. Last, Heaven is a place of ultimates. There, there is no black or white, teeny bit o sin allowed in, or shades. God is a God of Extremities whether people like it or want to admit it. He cannot allow sin in Heaven or disobedience. Therefore I think the Pendulum Effect is only true when dealing with the two realms of Heaven and Earth. Once we are in Heaven we won't have to worry anymore. God will abolish this effect.... unless there is more to the story we do not know about our futures.
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WHY IS THIS CONCEPT IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND?
We take it for granted daily that there is a supernatural reality going on right around us. We just do not have the eyes to see it all full time, all the time. God only grants us the God Goggles to see it when necessary to reprove, approve, warn, encourage, bless, or teach us. By acknowledging that there is a supernatural realm around us and understanding that ALL our actions and thoughts here in this realm affect the supernatural going ons then we can be more sufficient to fulfill what Christ needs out of us. satan has not only twisted the idea that God made in all of this and the factual basis of this but he has also tried to keep our eyes off of it for years. Churches for years have shunned the idea of speaking of the supernatural. It's a taboo subject at best. Even speaking or preaching on Spiritual Gifts which is by the way a GIFT straight from God Himself and should be boasted and adored and thanked for is something that can bring dissension in churches. satan DOES NOT WANT US TO CARE ABOUT THESE THINGS. He wants us entrances, busy, and to focus the God Given God Goggles God gave us elsewhere. If we just go through life busily trying to attain junk, junk and more junk or titles, careers, homes, you fill in the blank then we don't pay attention to how he is puppeteering us all along the way.
The Bible is our playbook to understand the spiritual realm. There are many scriptures that are written in fables or stories which sound crazy and extraordinary. Especially Revelations, we can try to surmise what it all means but we truly will not know until it all happens. God only allows us so much information and He allows it according to the time that it is needed so that we can help to complete His Story. Since we are all players in His Story He is Unfolding it right before our eyes daily. It was part of our punishment to have our God Goggles dimmed and have this great gulf between us.
SCIENTIFICALLY: We all can admit there is a supernatural realm we see sometimes and most times do not see. Now, I'm no genius and definitely do not understand physics and the like but I am pretty logical. I enjoy reading up on such subjects and try as hard as I can to understand the material. Physics scientists are studying all sorts of things now about Quantum Mechanic that are supposed to explain the existence of other planes and alternative realities. Even Boyd in his studies of war was able to take the basis of energy movement further and understand the ramifications of it. I am no scientist and I wish I had the mind to understand it all because I sense it and want to explain what I am thinking better here but God gave me the mind He gave me and so I will just try my best. Boyd used Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem, Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, and the Second Law of Thermodynamics to explain his OODA loop which we will talk about in a later chapter. From this set of considerations, Boyd concluded that to maintain an accurate or effective grasp of reality one must undergo a continuous cycle of interaction with the environment geared to assessing its constant changes. Now, he went on to explain more to this using Darwin's theory of evolution in a social contest of war and business (which I do not personally believe in the basis or beginning of. I believe God created us. I do see that there is some form of evolving that goes on in the animal and plant world, but I believe if that happens God ordains it. Furthermore, I think that perhaps this evolving is just another effect of our eating from the tree of knowledge. That knowledge permeates everything, thus the changing. God had a SET place that was made just for us. It needed no further changing unless He ordained it. Because of the sin, our world is ever changing now and I believe to fulfill God's needs and fulfilling of the covenant.) Anyways, the main point is that there are many things happening on the atomic level that we are just beginning to understand as well in Quantum Mechanics. There are ideas being tossed around about something called dark matter, a connecting force in the universe...
The idea here is that every time you drop a pebble in a lake, you get ripples. If prayer makes ripples in the spiritual realm and causes occurances to be allowed to happen here on so many levels then obviously the pebbles here and the pebbles there are connected. It makes sense to me that the Law of Reaping What You Sow can therefore be applied to both our realm and the spiritual realm.
Since no one, well not many, people have been to the spiritual realm and been able to come back we do not have much varifiable evidence to teach us about that realm Except in God's words. This is why I am opening up about my own life and hoping it helps others to open up about their's. We must as believers be HONEST with Each Other and With Ourselves. We must also be HONEST with God and about God. He needs for us to Stand up for Him and all He has done. We need to be completly in your face real about His Supernatural Self.
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- RECAP: The Pendulum Effect states that for every action both in the reality realm and the spiritual realm there is or can be an equal and opposite reaction and that those two realms are connected by God Himself. What one reaps in one realm, they may sow in the same or the other realm.
- And, that for every good and perfect thing God has created satan has tried to create an equal and opposite manifestation of the same thing.
- IN LAYMAN'S TERMS: This means that what we think of here, lust for here, pray for here, meditate on here, affects the spiritual world. It also means what God wants for us, commands the angels to do for us, in the spiritual realm, as well as the opposition's actions in the spiritual realm, all directly affect us here. We do not only reap what we sow here, it flows both ways. Jesus's blood is the only thing that can nullify whatever you have reaped, in sin, and cover you in the spiritual realm of heaven and the life hereafter. satan has tried to mimic Christ unsuccessfully as well. I will show you how in this project.
- God invented Manifesting, not satan. The rest of this book will teach you to Manifest God in your life, by God doing it for you, but you asking for the Doors to be Opened using God's toobox, rule book, playbook, the Bible. Manifesting includes God. He makes it happen. All you must do is ask. The answer may be yes, it may be no. God knows best but you will never know unless you ask the questions.
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- WHAT THE PENDULUM EFFECT IS NOT:
God also allows consequences, like a parent. This is not punishment per se. He has punished before by taking His hand and protection from people, ie. Adam and Eve. He has allowed bad things such as the plagues on Egypt to try to get people's attention. The Pendulum Effect, reaping and sowing, is just a simple heavenly law God made that is a basis for how the two realms work together.
You cannot EARN your way into heaven. Christ did that for you. The idea of reaping and sowing, God created it. He set the wheels in motion.
If you analyze yourself and are honest, you have many, many good points. You have great assets, motives, feelings, knowledge, personality traits, body traits, and more. BUT, you must also admit to the negative aspects of all of these you contain also.
I have noticed in my life that I most definitely reap what I sow and that it might take years to take effect but there are consequences to EACH and EVERY action I ever take or have taken. There are also consequences in the spiritual realm for actions I take or decide not to take. Because of my decision to accept Christ in my heart, because of my rank as an orphan, because of my having children (God's little ones), no matter what I have dished out, He provided for us. I have not had a luxurious life but He has always provided but definitely gave me spankings where needed and also gave blessings where deserved too.
I am going to try and present later in the book the key action in my life that God has opened my eyes to that was the door opener for the evil that I have had in my life. I also present miracles and answered prayers as well. God has been so good to me. He has molded me through it all.
