Please Forgive Me God

Please forgive me for constantly disappointing you. Soon and I do mean as soon as I get close to you again, I do something I am not proud of. My significant other really, really upsets me bad, and I curse him, call him names, everything. Even though he does what he does to me, I should not allow myself to stoop to his level but I do time and time again. I was just starting to do good and boom, not even a half hour later I am in full melt down mode with him. I don't know what to do. There is no excuse since this happens all the time. i know we must split but we cannot afford to split. If it makes any difference, I truly do not want to go on like this. I want us to get along but he is so mean and selfish beyond belief. He will never change. Why I let him take me out of character, especially since he knows exactly what buttons to push (I'm too predictable), I just don't know! Probably because his choices and actions ALWAYS fall back onto my shoulders, that is one reason. Anyway, I just want you to know I feel very badly about this Lord and it takes me away from you and I really don't like that feeling.