cursing. I am never going to be able to stop cursing.
Ever since I turned my life, my love, my faith, my everything over to Jesus, I really, really, desperately wanted to stop cursing. For those of you who don't already know, I curse like a sailor. It's the only way to get my anger out. I am surrounded entirely by very difficult people on a daily basis. I am not going to lie, I also curse just to curse, even when I am making jokes. Some days I do ok with the not cursing, never 100% but close to it, but most days, I am failing bad. I just don't know how to stop cursing, especially since the people in my life refuse to take me seriously unless I get mad and start cursing. It's really sick actually.
As I am cursing, I am very aware that i am not suppose to be, that God is right there watching me and STILL the curses fly out of my mouth like it's nothing.
This is not how I want to be. This is not who I want to be. I want to speak and talk like a true Christian, but I am just going to be honest, I don't know how I am going to ever stop this cursing. I am 38 years old and it's so ingrained into my DNA.
Please God forgive me. Please help me with this. I don't want to curse anymore. This is going to be a long road, but no matter how many times I fail, I am not going to stop trying. I am not going to give up. I DO have days where I am doing very well with not cursing and I am going to hang onto the proudness of myself for that and of course I am still going to aim for that and pray that those days turn into weeks , that turn into months, that turn into years. Every day that I am able to go through a whole day with minimal cursing is a success to me right now and that's what i am going to aim for tomorrow. A day at a time I suppose. I guess it's going to take me a lot longer to break such a bad habit that I had my entire life.
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