I want to listen only to your voice

I don't know but often it seems there is beauty and then again for the sake of love we see nothing. just trying to find Gods desires and loves and earnestly seeking such and yet being honest as to what you are even if you don't know how to go on, why ever would I wish to walk with my own two feet? how could I ever be an express image of what you are and yet you love us. what hope is there without our love but how could I speak with another about the one I love? ah lord after a few trillion trillion trillion years you can make me better enough to be able to cope with and deal with your people. it doesn't matter what we say, if they know you then they know you, oh cursed life and yet there is something here to give you. so close to touching his loves so that i can see how much my own loves are as his and how perfect to join together but this mortal existence is senseless. blessed are those that die and thank you God for giving more more chances in to warp this cage into something pleasing to you, one day it shall be perfect when i truly hate myself as I ought, but I already love you so much and there is no such thing as being practical in this world, I want to drift through it like worthless trash.