Childhood

I'm at the mall today with my little sister and watching her play is great. This morning (we've been here for 8 hours now waiting for my mom to get off work) she wanted to play tag with a couple of other kids she didn't know. But she was soooooo scared of rejection. She wanted to play, but because she felt scared of rejection, I had to coax her into asking to play. They let her, but it just reminded me of how I was about 4 years ago with God and anybody else. I was so afraid of rejection by anybody because my father would reject me and say my feelings were invalid. I was a very hurt 12 year old, and people said "God is your father." I believed them, but because if the image I had of what a father was, I would pray like this: "God, if you want to help me stop cutting, go ahead and do it." I was timid and afraid that God would reject me if I admitted my sins. But the great thing about God the Father is that he is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. He knows everything about me already and loves me anyway. I didn't realize that was true until my dad went to the recovery center he is in. I saw and see God changing my dad's heart, and my dad has become more loving. Because I have seen God at work in my life and my father's life, I know His love is unending. I have seen God work through others who have shown me His love and I know now that it's my turn to send His love to others because of the love God showed me through others. 1John 4:19 says "We love because God first loved us." I intend to show this love and lack of rejection to others at all times because He loved me first. (I wrote this on my phone, so sorry for any typos if any)