i struggle with not keeping my mouth shut and being wuick to judge people. Just look at my past posts for proof. I hate it so much.
It feels like a disease sometimes, a disease of bitterness that can't be treated or cured with medicine because it's not a physical symptom, or something that a brain re-wiring can fix--at least not yet.
I can be having an ordinary day, and then I come on CF. Someone will make me mad, whether it's a liberal Christian or an atheist. And the worst part is that they seem to pretty much agree on everything aside from the existence of God. It makes me feel like my "side" is all alone in the world. And I'm tired of feeling alienated.
I think that polarization and fear my mind tips into starts all of this. I think of a person as my enemy when they disagree with me online, and my mind races to find an ulterior motive--a reasoning for which they come to their conclusions. And it usually is me assuming the worst about someone.
I used to feel justified for the way I hated people. Now I just feel ashamed. If I have so much knowledge but can show no love to anyone different from me in thought, then what am I? A terrible person.
Tomorrow is my state's primary. trump is likely to win. So many conservatives like him, but I don't want to. Part of me agrees with him, but another part of me is afraid of getting swept up in the tide of anger from his constituency.
Why is he so appealing? Because people like myself are angry. We are angry at the way--or so it appears to us--that Obama has no regard for the Constitution and treats people with condescension if they disagree with him. We dislike the multiculturalism and political correctness of this decade because it seems to turn a blind eye to danger. We don't understand why millions of people from less-developed countries should come here if it means that drugs, weapons, and terrorists can easily hide among them, and the government will do nothing for fear of being accused of being prejudiced. I personally have always thought that prejudice is justified if there is a valid reason. And at the heart of every hateful person is the desire for self-preservation.
But I don't want to be like that. I don't feel like we have to ban all Muslims form the United
states in the name of security. if Trump gets elected and America becomes the safest country on Earth and the only place in which Christians have nothing to fear, then that is meaningless if we love no one and just have a big wall surrounding the entire country.
I am a Christian. It's about time I start acting like one. I don't think I'm about to change most or all of my political views, but I do need more wisdom. proverbs has so many verses against fools running their mouths that I can't even begin to quote them here. But the gist of them is this: foolish people don't listen and don't take criticism. Wise people do. I thought to myself, "what if it's from a liberal or an atheist or some other sinning, unrepentant piece of filth?" Whoever was writing those proverbs didn't seem to include that, although it certainly distinguishes from the godly and the wicked.
A wise person on here-not a Christian, but still helpful and I need to not assume that God only operates through believers--suggested I find the worst issue first and work on that. I'm beginning to think that it's my quickness to judge and get angry. I need more patience and understanding. So please pray that I gt that, if you're reading this.
It feels like a disease sometimes, a disease of bitterness that can't be treated or cured with medicine because it's not a physical symptom, or something that a brain re-wiring can fix--at least not yet.
I can be having an ordinary day, and then I come on CF. Someone will make me mad, whether it's a liberal Christian or an atheist. And the worst part is that they seem to pretty much agree on everything aside from the existence of God. It makes me feel like my "side" is all alone in the world. And I'm tired of feeling alienated.
I think that polarization and fear my mind tips into starts all of this. I think of a person as my enemy when they disagree with me online, and my mind races to find an ulterior motive--a reasoning for which they come to their conclusions. And it usually is me assuming the worst about someone.
I used to feel justified for the way I hated people. Now I just feel ashamed. If I have so much knowledge but can show no love to anyone different from me in thought, then what am I? A terrible person.
Tomorrow is my state's primary. trump is likely to win. So many conservatives like him, but I don't want to. Part of me agrees with him, but another part of me is afraid of getting swept up in the tide of anger from his constituency.
Why is he so appealing? Because people like myself are angry. We are angry at the way--or so it appears to us--that Obama has no regard for the Constitution and treats people with condescension if they disagree with him. We dislike the multiculturalism and political correctness of this decade because it seems to turn a blind eye to danger. We don't understand why millions of people from less-developed countries should come here if it means that drugs, weapons, and terrorists can easily hide among them, and the government will do nothing for fear of being accused of being prejudiced. I personally have always thought that prejudice is justified if there is a valid reason. And at the heart of every hateful person is the desire for self-preservation.
But I don't want to be like that. I don't feel like we have to ban all Muslims form the United
states in the name of security. if Trump gets elected and America becomes the safest country on Earth and the only place in which Christians have nothing to fear, then that is meaningless if we love no one and just have a big wall surrounding the entire country.
I am a Christian. It's about time I start acting like one. I don't think I'm about to change most or all of my political views, but I do need more wisdom. proverbs has so many verses against fools running their mouths that I can't even begin to quote them here. But the gist of them is this: foolish people don't listen and don't take criticism. Wise people do. I thought to myself, "what if it's from a liberal or an atheist or some other sinning, unrepentant piece of filth?" Whoever was writing those proverbs didn't seem to include that, although it certainly distinguishes from the godly and the wicked.
A wise person on here-not a Christian, but still helpful and I need to not assume that God only operates through believers--suggested I find the worst issue first and work on that. I'm beginning to think that it's my quickness to judge and get angry. I need more patience and understanding. So please pray that I gt that, if you're reading this.
