Self-harming

[Godsgirl481]

Bams, the stuff my daughter wrote on her jeans just blows me out of the water....and I die everytime she puts them on, and wears them out anywhere (Actually, at this point, they are falling apart-lol)....she doesn't seem to mind and in fact WANTS to make people wonder and question. But even though the stuff she writes on them leaves a lot to be desired, for me, if it keeps her from cutting, im all for it.

It is really good that she doesn't want to hide. I have been hiding for so long now...and ache every day to tell someone, anyone what I feel inside and everything that happened to me when I was little. But I never do because I can't, it hurts too much....it makes me not be able to breath, makes me sick, and gives me terrible panic attacks. I can't cry in front of someone and even alone, it is hard to let out a few tears. To get better means to feel it and I can't bare it feel it...I cut to stay numb and lately been doing drugs to stay numb....but the drugs have taken the place of the cutting...so I don't know. Been having a really hard time fighting the urge to cut lately. Been having a hard time period.

 

[mostie]

Bams...my heart goes out to you, it really does. I looked at your profile, and noticed that you are only 4 days younger than my oldest son--

I had a really horrible childhood as well, which in no way negates yours....I can remember raking my fingernails down my face in sheer frustration so many times at the things that were going on (I had never heard of cutting)--the inside of my fingers splitting open and bleeding (doctor said it was 'nerves'...I won't ever understand why a doctor didn't question something like that in a 13 year old...but then, that was a long time ago, and they just...didn't really.)--a lot of physical things that happened to me as a direct result of things that were going on in my life- it was a total misery, and to this day, I can't hardly look at the things that happened because it does have a tendency to make me very uncomfortable and panicky. You said that in order to deal with those things, you need to face them- but in facing them, you are terrified- I can't blame you at all---we don't understand the 'why' of so many things that happened to us, that we weren't responsible for....but...here's what I DO know....what has happened to you, while by no means was it a 'good thing', God can turn this into something that you can help others with--you have an 'inside', as it were- the ability to relate to others who have gone through this on their own level, you're able to say, 'you know what...ive been there, and I know exactly how you feel, and im hurting with you in this'.....and sometimes, that can help so much. I don't have an answer as to how to deal with your past.....all I can say, is ask God to help you deal with it- He created you, He knows everything about you- and He can bring healing and closure into your life regarding these things. I know that a lot of mine has had to involve forgiveness, and it's so hard, because I feel that I was so victimized, and my life, my emotional life was devastated through the acts of my own family, the people who were supposed to love and care for me. But I know that hanging on to it, not forgiving, is so...detrimental to any healing that could take place. Don't believe for a minute that God isn't going to see you through this, even though you feel like there is absolutely no way out- if there is anything ive learned over the years, and heaven knows I don't know much....it's that the bottom line, the only thing left at the end of the day...is our God is the one we need to ultimately turn to---He is the ultimate Counselor...Therapist...you name it. If you have a church that you attend, see if you can find a mentor of some sort, someone who can listen to you, pray with you- be there for you. I will be praying for you, one thing ive noticed is that kids today seem to have it soooo much rougher than they did when I was a kid- I feel for all of you, dealing with what you have to deal with, and living in the world you live in- but God is watching over each and every one of you- we don't understand why things happen the way they do, but He is in control. I know....it seems like such a pat thing to say, and I don't mean it that way, I really don't- I wouldn't dare minimize any of what any of you are going through--but like I said, ultimately, we need to cast all of our cares on God, even these...the hurts, the pain, the feeling of hopelesness...and He will be faithful to help us- we might not feel like He is, but He will.

 

[mostie]

Mercy...that was long- lol

 

[Godsgirl481]

Thank you for writing me Mostie. My situation is really hard to explain. My mom has always hated me and when my dad and brother left when I was 12, I was isolated away from all of my dad's family...never allowed to even read their letters. I was left to die there. My mom became an alcoholic and started getting into Wicca and Satanism. I remember being around 13 or 14 and seeing dead people by my bed at night and seeing demons in my room. I could smell them, smelled like a mix between a dirty bathroom and rotten eggs. It terrified me...but God was a small distant light...he sent a friend in my school. See I have always been depressed and never had any friends in school...but there was one that invited me to Youth For Christ. That became my hang out....and I was always there...trying to stay away from home. My mom and step dad were so abusive...and I would get beaten for even crying...so I learned to not cry. I learned to be tough. I learned to hide. God to me is terrifying...because I don't believe that he won't leave me. I know he exsists...I saw too many evil things to not believe in Heaven and Hell...but every single person that has been in my life has left. My ultimate fear is that someone will leave me again. I was selling my body in high school...to get money so I could give it to my mom for my part of the bills...but I was doing it too because if I slept with people, they stuck around. At least for a little while. No one ever loved on me when I was little. If I was touched, it was because I was being molested or raped...it was always a bad touch. I don't ever remember just getting a simple hug from someone. I have a mentor in Kansas, Danny. I was doing better when I moved to Kansas. I was facing my hurts...and hurting...that's why I tryed to kill myself so many times there. But at the end of the 2nd year, I was in a sexual abuse class that my church was holding and was really getting better. Than I met a guy and moved back to Florida and everything went down the drain from there. I was introduced to cocaine...and fell in love with it. It numbs you...all of you. I have done Ex, pain pills, coke, and rock since I have been back. I just want to move back to Kansas, away from the drugs and get better. Seems like an impossible goal. Sometimes I just feel like giving up. I am just so tired...mentally worn out.

 

[mostie]

Sigh....God isn't going to abandon you- I can't imagine how hard it must be to hang on after all of that, and to still be going through it- to say "hang in there, God is going to see you through" sounds so darn trite, but at the same time, when we're that down, there is nothing else- it's basically down to the wire, and God is the one who is in control, and watching everything--I believe God will see you through- although who wants to go 'through", huh? All I can say is after all the dust dies down for you, you are going to be refined in a way that God can and will use you in a big way- of course, that's cold comfort now- but know that my prayers are with you, and just reading that made my heart hurt -

 

[fly high]

Is it only girls that self harm ? I have been self harming for about 7 years on and off and never realized not that many guys did it. I'm not sure if anybody has said it but I think the best way to stop self harming is to try and sort out the reasons you do it or else you only go onto something new.

 

[Godsgirl481]

Most self harming is done by girls, but no, you are not alone, a lot of guys have experienced self harming in one way or another. Before I started to cut, my brother used to use an eraser on his arm and erase is skin until he was bleeding...so trust me, you are not alone.

 

[Godsgirl481]

Sigh....God isn't going to abandon you- I can't imagine how hard it must be to hang on after all of that, and to still be going through it- to say "hang in there, God is going to see you through" sounds so darn trite, but at the same time, when we're that down, there is nothing else- it's basically down to the wire, and God is the one who is in control, and watching everything--I believe God will see you through- although who wants to go 'through", huh? All I can say is after all the dust dies down for you, you are going to be refined in a way that God can and will use you in a big way- of course, that's cold comfort now- but know that my prayers are with you, and just reading that made my heart hurt -

God has given me dreams at night about where I will be eventually. At least I think that is what they are. Helping kids in school that have been or are where I have been...winning souls for him. I just have to get there I guess...hard but I am still trucking along.

 

[melaniew]

I can't stop self-harming. I was in hospital for a day the other day. Was well scary but i was really down tat ngiht and mm found me on the floor well i best go.

 

[Godsgirl481]

I can't stop self-harming. I was in hospital for a day the other day. Was well scary but i was really down tat ngiht and mm found me on the floor well i best go.

It was hard to stop, but you know how I did....but just making up my mind that I wasn't going to. August will be two years since my last cut, but I still want to....and fight the urge every single day. I started by counting days, then weeks....trying to surpass my last goal...once I past it...I tried to go just a little bit further. I started drugs because I needed something to numb me since I was not cutting...stopped the drugs...mostly. So anyways....keep your head up...

 

[BlackRain]

Is it only girls that self harm ? I have been self harming for about 7 years on and off and never realized not that many guys did it. I'm not sure if anybody has said it but I think the best way to stop self harming is to try and sort out the reasons you do it or else you only go onto something new.

i don't know if it's that no guys self harm or if its the fact that guys are suppose to be tough, ya know? i think maybe to them it's a sign of weakness and they don't show it. but i've known a few guys who've struggled with it. so hey, you're not alone at all!!

thanks for the advice. that's something i really need to do...yeah, i just don't want to right now.

 

[pentecostalgirl0414]

I need someone opinion. I cut myself yesterday. I have decided that I will TRY to stop cutting, but I don't know what to do to replace the cutting. Does anyone have any ideas? I really appreciate any suggestions.
KIM

 

[Imani]

I need someone opinion. I cut myself yesterday. I have decided that I will TRY to stop cutting, but I don't know what to do to replace the cutting. Does anyone have any ideas? I really appreciate any suggestions.
KIM

Holding ice in my hand until it starts to really hurt works for me as a replacement for c*tting sometimes. So does wearing an elastic band around my wrist and flicking it, or having a freezing cold shower. I try and use the 15 minute approach too... if you feel like c*tting, do something else for 15 minutes, and if after that time you still need to do it, well you can, or if you think you can last another 15 minutes try that... it sometimes works for me, sometimes i fail...

Sara

 

[Godsgirl481]

I need someone opinion. I cut myself yesterday. I have decided that I will TRY to stop cutting, but I don't know what to do to replace the cutting. Does anyone have any ideas? I really appreciate any suggestions.
KIM

I do the ice cube thing too, works for me. I take my anger out by cutting a piece of wood or anything except for myself. I give myself permission to hurt anything else besides myself.

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

I agree with Bams^^^

Also... it helps me to write down the things that are trigering me then rip up the list and stomp on it... things like that... It helps with anger too. I hope your ok.

-Jo.

 

[Cragg]

I think that us guys just hide it more. I did do it, but now I have stopped, I stopped by getting away from the things and people that were causing me to do it, and also a lot of prayer.

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

I'm glad you stopped, hun. That's awesome. That takes alot of strength and courage. Stay strong.

-Jo.

 

[angeliquewood]

Hello all, I have been surfing around and finding stuff to do to distract from cutting. I thought I would share some with you guys just in case anyone is struggling.

MATERIALS:

• -A red felt tip marker (NO PENS. MUST BE A FELT TIP)
• -A cup full of ice

DIRECTIONS:

1. Do whatever you prepare to do when you SI. Lock the door, turn on music but DO NOT light candles/insescnse or pull your box/SI objects out. This is going to be hard not to do, but if you create the atmosphere like you are about to cut, it feels more like actual SI.
2. Take the marker in your writing hand, and the ice in your other.
3. Simeltaneously draw on your skin with the marker and squeeze the ice. the ice is the Pain factor of SI, and the marker is “blood”.

 

[angeliquewood]

Wooo and Hooo!!! I found a list. A long list LOL!

1) Draw
2) Write Poems
3) Write stories
4) Go on a walk
5) Clean your room
6) Organize something you have a lot of
7) Bake something
8) Sleep
9)PLay an instrument
10)Go shopping
11)Shower
12) Read/study
13)Computer
14) Talk on the phone
15)Sew
16)Go through/clean your closet
17)Paint Your nails
18)Color
19)Design a dream house
20)Video games
21)Get a job
22)Make a construction papaer chain until any event
23)Chores
24)Build a card house
25)Reaarange your room
26)Make jewelry
27)Make dinner
28)Crochet
29)Write an alternative ending to a story
30)Widdle
31)Doodle
32)Color by Number
33)Read old diaries/journals (Unless there might be triggers!)
34)Write in a diary/journal
35)Do our homework
36)Do Extra Credit
37)Make a plushie
38) Decorate your walls
39)Paper maché
40)Write a story, Dr. Seuss style
41)Hemp bracelets/necklaces
42)GIve yourself a henna tattoo
43)Do a puzzle
44)Go to a friends house
45)Draw yourself in MS Paint
46)Make a picture on your wall out of duct tape
47)Make a wire rose (Take wire from a spiral notebook, use 1/3-1/2 for a spiral type shape then take the remainder, go down about 4-6 inches, fold it back up and make thorns. If I get the chance I take a picture of one that I made to give you all a better idea if you're interested enough)
48)Write a letter
49)Grow a garden
50)Find out how to put 8 queens on a cheesboard without any of them being able to kill each other (There are 92 possible ways to do this)
51)Write a parody
52)Write an autobiography
53)Write a song
54)Make a gratitude list (Things you're thankful for)
55)Wash a car
56)Give your pets a bath
57)Write out the soundtrack to your life if it were a movie
58)Create your own cartoon characters
59)Brain teasers
60)Make a wishlist
61)Read an old story
62)Go through a photo album
63)Get rid of all the stuff you don't need)
64)Go bowling
65)Mini golf
66)Play chess
67)Create a secret code
68)Create a new holiday...
70)...celebrate it
71)Make prank calls
72)Watch TV/A Movie
73)Write a musical
74)Go to a movie
75)E-bay =D
76)Make a collage
77)Look at constellations
78)Decorate your pants with sharpie
79)Draw your own comic
80)Dye your hair
81)Make a scrapbook
82)Count all your change
83)Meditate
84)Take pictures
85)Get into a sport
86)Friendship bracelets
87)Have a garage sale
88)Macaroni art
89)Play your favorite song by ear
90)Clean the house
91)Knit
92)Start collecting somethign
93)Laundry
94)Make a Tshirt
95)Make a website
96)Volenteer somewhere
97)Join Drama; memorize your lines
98)RPG
99)Go through your clothes, give odl ones to Goodwill
100)Fingerpaint
101)Go on a drive
102)Go to an arcade
103)Go to a playground
104)Make an avatar/buddy icon
105)Make a wallpaper/desktop
106)Make up a legend
107)Origami
108)Cover something in duct tape
109)Play in the snow
110)Have a debate
111)Look for pictures in the clouds
112)Go on a bike ride
113)Smash a watermelon
114)Go to the store
115)Clean the under of your bed
116)Learn how to make balloon animals
117)Take an aromatherapy bath
118)Do some of those ideas on the back of a Crayola crayon box
119)Waste money at the dollar store
120)Read a newspaper
121)Watch the Spanish channel and improvise your own translations
122)Make a construction paper chain of the days it's been since you alst cut (add one every day)
123)Rubiks cbe
124)Acrostics
125)Cut your own hair
126)Climb a tree
127)Clean out your junk drawer
128)Tie letters to balloons, fill them up with helium and launch them off

 

[Faith In God]

Okay, I'm sorry if I'm being sardonic in any way, but what good does self-harm do? Relieve guilt? Make you feel better? Since when has the bible taught us to act based on feelings? The only time even remotely acting on feelings is when you feel your conscience telling you that something you are doing it wrong, and that is the 'word of the Lord written' on your heart. If you still have a heavy conscience as a Christian that drives you to harm God's temple, go back to the cross and start over with your faith, because something major is wrong. Please read this realizing there is no malice intended and do not respond with the attitude that I am being judgmental; I am just being straightforward.