Self-harming

[BlackRain]

Father, i ask that you would give melaniew strength to resist the temptation to cut herself and the endurance and perseverence to fight this battle. only you know how she truly feels and only you know what thoughts go thru her head, so i ask that you would stay tangibly by her side during this time. i pray you would calm her spirit and the fears that she holds near. Amen.

 

[Godsgirl481]

Christmas was so hard you guys. I wanted to cut SOOOOO bad...I don't think I have ever fought it so hard. I had 16 sleeping pills laid out on Christmas night...I never took them of course but oh did I want to. I never did cut...I got sick some but never cut. It's been almost 17 months since I have cut....that is a REALLY long time

 

[TheMainException]

I pray that the Lord shall steady your mind and still your hands. With love, Lauren

 

[TheMainException]

Christmas was so hard you guys. I wanted to cut SOOOOO bad...I don't think I have ever fought it so hard. I had 16 sleeping pills laid out on Christmas night...I never took them of course but oh did I want to. I never did cut...I got sick some but never cut. It's been almost 17 months since I have cut....that is a REALLY long time

WAY TO GO...I'm so happy for you.

 

[melaniew]

I cut again last ngiht I can't help doing it anymore. When i feel the need to cut i will do it. I just wich i had a loving family who cares for me but no mum and dad dont care for me. They know i cut now but nah they wont help like normal.

melanie

 

[katylees]

*hugs* im sure they do love you hun ..i do anyway ...and i know how it feels to want to do this

 

[mostie]

I wanted to just cry when I read this thread....I have a daughter who just turned 17, and she is a cutter. She was hospitalized twice last summer for having a suicide pact, and claiming she was going to actually do it on a certain date- they kept her there til after the date. She was put on medication, which she swore didn't help---and to make matters worse, before she was given the medication, I had to sign a statement that said I was knowledgeable about the fact that this medication has side effects such as making suicidal thoughts and violence more prevalant in children--talk about being between a rock and a hard place. I'm having such a hard time understanding the 'why' behind all of this, and she can't seem to really tell me why she does it either. She has been ok for the last couple of months (we came to Canada...in part to get her away from the area for a bit, because she was around a lot of people who weren't so good for her in this way- they all had so many issues, and it was like they were all feeding off of each other)....and other than being bored out of her skull, she's been somewhat calmer...only a couple of cutting incidents. But then I noticed that she had been pretty depressed the last few days, and last night she told me that if I didn't take her back home and back to family, she was going to 'off herself', etc....it scared the life out of me. I don't even think that it's so much that she actually wants to die..or that any of the people who do this want to die...so much as they just want someone to stop the pain. I'm at a loss as to how to help, and it's one of those 'fine line' things...if I really watch her closely, and let her know that I am (such as hiding razors, limiting time she is in the shower...hiding all of the medication, asking her questions...etc), she gets someone angry with me for bugging her about it. If I say nothing, she interprets it as I don't care. It's so hard. I hurt for her, because I know how much she's hurting...and yet I feel lost as to how to help her. She seems to have lost herself so much...she has huge issues, she leans towards 'dark' things....she isn't a christian, although she has been in the past...she says she's gay, and although she knows how I feel about being gay (in the past she has asked me, and I told her that I don't believe it's right...but that im not about to sit in judgement on anyone who does this, because I feel that it's between them and God....but that I don't condone it, but I love her no matter what)--I guess what im trying to say here (besides venting all over the place, lol)...is that the sense I get from her, the sense I get from some of you cutting, is that you feel that no one cares. I know she feels that way about me, and nothing could be further from the truth- I do care...this is my child, and her pain is a palpable thing to me..something I can sense and feel in her, and it hurts me so much to know this...and yet at the same time, I don't know how to help her- and it makes you feel so powerless. Last night, I told her that maybe if she talked to God....she went on about how she doesn't believe in the 'christian God' (although in her heart, I suspect she very much does), and I told her that 'someone' was out there, and He was just waiting for her to come to Him. I don't know what else to do....when she was hospitalized, it was like the blind leading the blind, truly scary how little they know how to deal with this....I figure hey....go to the One who made you.

Im sorry guys...im so new here, and you probably think 'whoa...this lady is nuts' lol. I'm really not, but im so glad you have a forum like this. I didn't expect to see one on a christian site...maybe I can get her to come in here and check this out. Hugs to all of you in your struggles...and I know it's a struggle, & my heart sincerely goes out to each one of you~

 

[NJA]

God offers a loving family, where there's a will to be a part of it, God can easily find a way to make it possible - job, accommodation etc, let God be your Father, not mammon or man.

Don't wish your life away, *believe* that God will provide when u put *His* family above the others.

M't:10:37: He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Lu:8:21: And he answered and said unto them, My mother and my brethren are these which hear the word of God, and do it.

M't:6:30: Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
:31: Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
:32: (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
:33: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

 

[melaniew]

thanks nick for that

 

[leigh01]

been there done that got thescars to prove it you r in m preyers doll

 

[NJA]

Trials show us our weakness, "overcomers" take their mind off the Goliath and onto God... so they are "more than conquerors", they realise more *who* is in them !

Don't run from the problem, take it to God and take the victory from Him.

 

[angeliquewood]

Hey Mostie, Hi I am a 16 year old. I struggle with cutting. Not exactly with suicide but I just like to bleed my arms. My mom tries to help with me and it is just the opposite. I am a struggling christian... and she is not a christian. She believes in Jesus and stuff but she doesn't really act out on it. So I understand your daughter. Like I don't feel that my mom cares and when she does talk to me I feel that she is prying into my life. I feel like I can't have any privacy. She thinks that everything in my life is her business. She thinks that I am gay too. I have a super close friend that is a girl and my mom doesn't get the difference. I used to be gay two years ago, but I found that I wasn't exactly looking for a girlfriend but a good friend. Like a mom. And that is how I look at this one friend of mine and my mom doesn't understand it. Anyway so for so much details about me. The only people that can help me are christian friends. Like maybe you can find a good church and maybe they do some like not "churchy" stuff, so that your daughter can build some new godly relationships. Like lock ins and pizza hang outs and stuff like that. That way she doesn't feel threatened by "The christian God" but just becomes tight with people that are madly in love with him, that she can get help from. It is really not your fault but a lot of times parents can make a kid feel suffocated. I will be praying for you all.
Love Angel

 

[angeliquewood]

Hey this is just like to anyone, I just want to ask for prayer, cause I struggle with cutting and I am trying to quit. I am going through a lot right now which makes it hard. I am going to try the ice cube thingy though. I have been praying and getting a hold of God but all the support I can get would be great. I started cutting again Sunday morning. I hadn't cut for like 3 months I think, I didn't count cause I thought that it wouldn't become an addiction. I just feel alone right now. I mean I am talking to people about it and stuff but it is just still so hard. Thank you!
Love Angel

 

[mostie]

Thanks for that Angelique, I can remember what it was like to be 16, but that was a lonnnnng time ago-lol---it's tough at that age though, such an in between age, and it's hard not to sort of go back and forth, you want to be close to your mom, you want your independence, 'leave me alone', etc. My daughter had some things happen to her that made her think she's gay- she' s basically immersing herself in everything gay these days, but I think that deep down she really isn't- however...even if she were, this is my daughter and I would love her no matter what. With her, she's so isolated where we are, and away from her friends....she goes to a couple of websites that are for self-harmers, but gets into the chat and they all just sorta talk about the cutting and somewhat feed off of each other.

I hope that you find something that you can use as an alternative to cutting, as well as my daughter...right now she is totally convinced that it's an addiction, although she quit for 2 months as well....it's like things get to her somewhat, and she's depressed and back to cutting. Thanks so much for your idea about the pizza things and lockdowns at church....we're having a hard time finding a good church (she has some piercings, very short hair...and an attitude written all over her face- not easy to make good christian friends- lol)

You're in my prayers as well, you seem like a pretty awesome girl to me

 

[Godsgirl481]

Hey this is just like to anyone, I just want to ask for prayer, cause I struggle with cutting and I am trying to quit. I am going through a lot right now which makes it hard. I am going to try the ice cube thingy though. I have been praying and getting a hold of God but all the support I can get would be great. I started cutting again Sunday morning. I hadn't cut for like 3 months I think, I didn't count cause I thought that it wouldn't become an addiction. I just feel alone right now. I mean I am talking to people about it and stuff but it is just still so hard. Thank you!
Love Angel

We're with you sweetie. Other things that have helped me are:
- cutting something else
- distroying something (had a teddy bear that I tore apart)
- drawing red marker lines where I wanted to cut
- cutting on my computer desk (or anything else hard like wood)

for me, I was angry, so anything to work that anger out. PM me if you need to

 

[mostie]

Your post reminded me of something that a social worker at my daughter's school came up with....a black marker, and basically doing graffitti all over your arms, etc....another thing I came up with, we were looking at a Seventeen magazine one day, and I noticed a girl with a pair of jeans that she had drawn and written all over (I mean alllll over) with a permanent black pen....I know that probably isn't the same, but...maybe it helps a little bit?

 

[ysl_75]

God bless you and be with you... take care...

 

[Godsgirl481]

Your post reminded me of something that a social worker at my daughter's school came up with....a black marker, and basically doing graffitti all over your arms, etc....another thing I came up with, we were looking at a Seventeen magazine one day, and I noticed a girl with a pair of jeans that she had drawn and written all over (I mean alllll over) with a permanent black pen....I know that probably isn't the same, but...maybe it helps a little bit?

I've thought about writing things I felt on a piece of clothing, then wearing it somewhere...but I think that will trigger questions that I just don't want

 

[RedTulipMom]

HUGGS! so sorry for your pain! Praying for you!
karen

 

[mostie]

Bams, the stuff my daughter wrote on her jeans just blows me out of the water....and I die everytime she puts them on, and wears them out anywhere (Actually, at this point, they are falling apart-lol)....she doesn't seem to mind and in fact WANTS to make people wonder and question. But even though the stuff she writes on them leaves a lot to be desired, for me, if it keeps her from cutting, im all for it.