How long would you wait?

[JojotheBeloved]

Hello CF Friends,

I have a question to ask, just to get your opinions. How long should a woman wait for a marriage proposal from a serious long-term relationship? How long would you wait (or have you or your wife waited)?

I know this is something every individual needs to decide for themselves, but it could be helpful just to get a reasonable range of opinions.

If background is helpful, this relationship has been one seeking marriage from the very beginning. It started long-distance after meeting at the same college face to face as friends. Long distance was 1 year 2 months. I moved to be closer and now it's been 6 months we've lived close. Marriage is talked about often by both parties.

 

[Cearbhall]

Marriage is talked about often by both parties.

I guess I'm not understanding what's left. If you want to get engaged, then won't you just start directing these conversations towards making a final decision? And then plan the formal proposal? If your partner isn't ready to give you a definite yes or no, then you keep talking about it until you reach a decision. No need to wait and keep yourself in the dark if you want an answer.

 

[GuusVA]

well in my opinion you can wait for him to ask, I do think that's what I would like. But also maybe he's just scared to ask you can direct the convo's in that direction so that he knows what you want. If you both truly want to marry, eventually he will ask you to marry him. Have you also considered all the planning and costs that go in advance he may have and seen that its not yet possible for you guys?

Well my girlfriend said that you can wait though you shouldn't wait for ever.

 

[JojotheBeloved]

Well my girlfriend said that you can wait though you shouldn't wait for ever.

lol I know I can wait. I just wanted to know what other people thought was a reasonable time limit to wait. I recently saw a post from someone else who waited 10 years and never got what she wanted. My cousin had commitment issues and waiting 7 years with the same girl before proposing, but they lived together for 5 of those years. My sister is engaged after one year dating. I know it varies from person to person. I was just wondering. lol

Also, I'm an impatient person. So I need some confirmation that waiting for a while is okay, but also some limit to help me so I know I don't have to wait forever.

 

[tacdon]

First, decide when you want to get married. Do you want to get married right now? If you want to get married right now then let your boyfriend know what you want.

 

[TheApostleJohn]

It would depend on external factors like money/jobs/school. You should just ask him why he hasn't asked you to marry him yet.

 

[JojotheBeloved]

Never mind. Maybe I posed the question incorrectly or unclearly. Maybe I just don't care anymore what anyone else thinks. Idk. But this thread is not going as I would've hoped. So just never mind. I don't know how to delete the thread, so would someone who does (maybe a site moderator or something) please do so. Thanks.

 

[Shiranui117]

Hello CF Friends,

I have a question to ask, just to get your opinions. How long should a woman wait for a marriage proposal from a serious long-term relationship? How long would you wait (or have you or your wife waited)?

I know this is something every individual needs to decide for themselves, but it could be helpful just to get a reasonable range of opinions.

If background is helpful, this relationship has been one seeking marriage from the very beginning. It started long-distance after meeting at the same college face to face as friends. Long distance was 1 year 2 months. I moved to be closer and now it's been 6 months we've lived close. Marriage is talked about often by both parties.

I know you've basically pronounced the death knell of the thread, but if I may, the perpetually single guy who's never been a really serious relationship has some insight.

IMHO, I would want to wait until I feel like I really know and understand the person, and vice-versa. I would like to know basically everything there is to know about you that would concern our compatibility or the health of our relationship, what we both want together as a couple and eventually as a family, how well we compliment and complete each other in terms of a partnership, and if we're strong enough to last.

And there's nothing wrong IMHO with getting engaged now and waiting to get hitched when the finances are there for the wedding and for starting a family, so in my personal opinion, finances shouldn't be any obstacle to proposing, provided your respective jobs and careers don't completely wrench you two apart logistically speaking.

 

[Observer]

I'm not sure. We were friends for years and then spoke about marriage about a year after we became involved romantically. There was no surprise proposal, because we both spoke about what we wanted. After that conversation, we knew we were going to get married.

 

[E.C.]

Also, I'm an impatient person. So I need some confirmation that waiting for a while is okay, but also some limit to help me so I know I don't have to wait forever.

You know, this could be God's way of teaching you to be patient!



In my opinion, if you've been in a relationship with someone for at least two years and the marriage talk has never come up than one must reevaluate the relationship. If it has come up and there are external factors going on (one married couple I know dated since the ninth grade and didn't get married until they both finished their degrees) and those external factors have been considered than all should be fine.

 

[pressingon17]

My wife and I went into the relationship after we both agreed God confirmed we were to be married. I formally proposed 2 months into dating and we got married 9 months later.
We have been together for just over a year now.

 

[Fallior]

For me personally, I want her to be surprised when I do it. If she's already expecting the proposal, it takes some of the fun out of it.

 

[tomwhite84]

I have a question to ask, just to get your opinions. How long should a woman wait for a marriage proposal from a serious long-term relationship? How long would you wait (or have you or your wife waited)?

If what needs to be discussed concerning marriage has been discussed, and you feel you have given him adequate time to think it over, I'd say move on. You probably wouldn't want a guy who is too slow for you, it'll be frustrating inside of marriage too and you'll feel like you have to slavedrive him all the time. There are other men who would like to be with a woman like you.

 

[faroukfarouk]

There's something even more important. Amos 3.3: "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" Knowing the Lord Jesus as Savior and walking with Him with similar Biblical convictions is far more important than dates and times and so forth.

 

[tomwhite84]

There's something even more important. Amos 3.3: "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" Knowing the Lord Jesus as Savior and walking with Him with similar Biblical convictions is far more important than dates and times and so forth.

She's in a serious relationship; she probably knows already about his beliefs. If not, it's hardly a serious relationship is it?

 

[faroukfarouk]

She's in a serious relationship; she probably knows already about his beliefs. If not, it's hardly a serious relationship is it?

...but it's easy to make assumptions, especially when emotions are strong. There is no replacement for a solid grounding in Biblical truth that is wholeheartedly shared.

 

[tomwhite84]

...but it's easy to make assumptions, especially when emotions are strong. There is no replacement for a solid grounding in Biblical truth that is wholeheartedly shared.

Amen to that.

 

[JojotheBeloved]

If what needs to be discussed concerning marriage has been discussed, and you feel you have given him adequate time to think it over...

See that doesn't answer the original question very well. What would you feel needs to be discussed and what would you feel would be adequate time? That was more the original question. The question wasn't should a woman leave because she's too impatient. The question was how long do you think is good to wait or stop waiting?

 

[JojotheBeloved]

There's something even more important. Amos 3.3: "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" Knowing the Lord Jesus as Savior and walking with Him with similar Biblical convictions is far more important than dates and times and so forth.

Yes, beliefs are very important and it's important to be on the same page with one another in any relationship... however, that wasn't the question at all. Let's assume this woman, whomever she may be, believes in Jesus and is smart enough to not date people who don't.

 

[tomwhite84]

See that doesn't answer the original question very well. What would you feel needs to be discussed and what would you feel would be adequate time? That was more the original question. The question wasn't should a woman leave because she's too impatient. The question was how long do you think is good to wait or stop waiting?

Yes, and that depends on whether what needs to be discussed has been discussed. I never said anything about impatience, btw.