Dating after widowhood
- Thread starter blackribbon
- Start date
Dear Black Ribbon
I have just had my wife pass away 3 months ago after 35 years of marriage, I have found the following quote to be most helpful
5 But we who live by the Spirit eagerly wait to receive by faith the righteousness God has promised to us.
6 For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.
Warm Regards
Lostmybestfriend
I have just had my wife pass away 3 months ago after 35 years of marriage, I have found the following quote to be most helpful
5 But we who live by the Spirit eagerly wait to receive by faith the righteousness God has promised to us.
6 For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.
Warm Regards
Lostmybestfriend
Upvote
0
brotherlance
seeking the will of God
Here's my story, when My wife passed in 2010 I wasn't sure when or if I should date again. I finally started after a year i met a nice Christian woman and I thought we were headed to marrage(I wasn't 100% sure ) well, she gave me the gate and that was that.
About 6 months later I asked a woman from my church out for lunch after church we spent hours just talking, after a year and a half dating her I am sure she is the one , but she says she wants to be friends. I have tried to forget her, but I can't, I will not be happy with anyone else. I don't want a wife thatr will be second best, just for the sake of being married.
How can I win her heart and hand? I have kept our contacts on a friendly but not pushy basis. for the past 6 months . I pray to God daily that she will change her mind about me. It's not like we are far apart on our outlook on life. In fact I am amazed on how cloose we think. I am not giving up on her, she is that great.
About 6 months later I asked a woman from my church out for lunch after church we spent hours just talking, after a year and a half dating her I am sure she is the one , but she says she wants to be friends. I have tried to forget her, but I can't, I will not be happy with anyone else. I don't want a wife thatr will be second best, just for the sake of being married.
How can I win her heart and hand? I have kept our contacts on a friendly but not pushy basis. for the past 6 months . I pray to God daily that she will change her mind about me. It's not like we are far apart on our outlook on life. In fact I am amazed on how cloose we think. I am not giving up on her, she is that great.
Last edited:
Upvote
0
memoriesbymichelle
Senior Veteran
Well as they say, it takes two to tango. If she doesn't have "those feelings" for you, chances are she might never have them. I hope for your sake that is not the case, but I have been in positions in life where I have really liked someone and they did not like me the same back so....I have learned you just can't make it happen. And now that I'm older, I wouldn't want it to happen unless it is God's will so...
Upvote
0
memoriesbymichelle
Senior Veteran
explain please. If she is already telling you she just wants to be friends, you think someday she will just suddenly feel romantic about you?
Upvote
0
I remarried a year ago. I had 3 teenagers at the time and a total of 8 children. I ended up using online dating. I found it difficult to meet single Christian men in my age group (40s) not aside from the fact my life is very busy already. Most of them would be working full time.
Upvote
0
Brother Lance, I believe that the scriptures teach the woman is free to choose in the Lord. So if this lady is not interested then God will not make her.
Upvote
0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums
Christianwidow
Looking for His glorious appearing
Hello to all that have answered on this thread "Dating after widowhood". I have been a widow now for 12 years. Last year I finally was at the point of wanting to date again. I met a man and fell deeply in love with him after only a few months. I thought he was in love with me also. At least he said he was. Well, last week he ended our "friendship", and my heart is broke. I am mourning again but not like I did when my husband died. I am mourning a different mourning. I feel I let myself totally open to being hurt without even realizing it. I am not a young woman, and to feel the heartache I am feeling right now, is far more than I could imagine. I truly believed this friendship was from the Lord from the very beginning, but I must have been wrong because it no longer exists. There are many Scriptures I have found that are a comfort to me, but at the same time there are days when I just feel so all alone again. I am writing this so that you can pray for me that I will allow the Lord to use this in my life to bring me closer to Him.
Christian Widow
Christian Widow
Upvote
0
memoriesbymichelle
Senior Veteran
Wow! that is SO sad and really sucks! It's hard enough for some of us to even THINK about dating or putting our heart out there and then to do that and have it trampled on must make the devil very happy, but I am sure it does not make God happy either. I have been a widow for 8 years and have not dated at all. Every time I think about it I think what if this happens or what if they are a serial killer or psycho? One night I was in the grocery store and a nice looking man said "wow! you look nice!" to me and I was like "oh thanks" and then he came around again and said to remind him that he should ask me out for a drink (how I would do that IDK since I don't even know this guy) but I laughed it off and thankfully he never asked for my number but I went home feeling great at first that I was even noticed and then I realized WOW! I am REALLY vulnerable! and I also realized I'm just not ready because of that.
I am SO sorry for what happened to you. I have heard of many people that have gone on after being a widow/widower and found decent spouses for that second love. Not sure if God wants that for me or for you but it is possible. I know nothing I can say will make you feel better, but know that I will pray for you and GOD will help you.
Upvote
0
Christianwidow
Looking for His glorious appearing
Thank you MBM. I appreciate your prayers and the support of your kind words. I must take one day at a time for healing. I know the Lord will see me through this just like He did with the death of my husband. One lesson I did learn for sure is that I was VERY vulnerable. I guess after not having someone in my life to love for 12 years, I jumped at the first opportunity that came my way. Lesson learned the hard way.
Christian Widow
Christian Widow
Upvote
0
i hope someone out there finds what i have to say useful. i lost my husband in 2003 and because i built my world around him, it was really so difficult to live again but glory to God i already had a relationship with the holy spirit and he told me about the need to let 'him go' that was the word. there is no maariage in heaven and i believe that we would recognise each other in heaven but we wont continue as man and wife. marraige is earthly and created for our pleasure and to take care of aloneness in our lives. adam had God's presence with him in the garden but God still said 'it is not good for man to be alone' . i want to marry again and i have been faced with many disppointments from men who do not have the courage to be a father to my children. i have chosen to believe the children are a blessing and at God's appointed time, my godly husband will show up.
Upvote
0
memoriesbymichelle
Senior Veteran
BBM above. I believe this too, all in God's appointed time. God does EVERYTHING in appointed times.
Upvote
0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums
This can be so hurtful and i am so sorry to hear you say this. i had a similar experince as well. i met this guy and opened up my heart to love him; something i had never done, he said he would marry me but the Lord told me that this guy wasnt telling the truth but i was so in love and so blinded that i made excuses for him, after a while he couldnt cope with me not going all the way in my relationship with me; intimacy, so he quit. i was so heart broken and i kept weeping every night for over a year but god helped me through those hurful moments, so many times i thought i was going to die but today i look back and i thank god that i came out stronger and better, i trust d Lord more and i just love him more for delivering from a so much pain.
i pray for you, you will come out better, this moment will pass and God will give you reasons to look back and thank Him(God) that he walked away. stay blessed.
Christian Widow[/quote]
Last edited:
Upvote
0
Christianwidow
Looking for His glorious appearing
Thank you glory35. I appreciate the prayers.
MBM - you are so right. GOD DOES EVERYTHING IN HIS TIME. I just have to learn to WAIT ON HIM instead of going ahead of Him.
Christian Widow
MBM - you are so right. GOD DOES EVERYTHING IN HIS TIME. I just have to learn to WAIT ON HIM instead of going ahead of Him.
Christian Widow
Upvote
0
Upvote
0
Im confused with this subject also. I was not married, but engaged to someone.
I thought being married or engaged to that person was eternal.
Everyone can probably agree there.
however im under the assumtion, or from what ive read in the bible. windowers should stay single and not remarry.
Inot sure and a bit ignorant of this subject, hense im here for some insight.
my fiance is in heaven, she was 22. im 26. if i live a good healthy life, i could have another 7 decades to live before i see her. thats a long time. and its a long time to ber on your own.
I have a much much stronger faith in Jesus now. it is unbelievable how comforting it is knowing she is heaven, and how much i have changed.
i dont think i would consider marrying. however another question, since we didnt marry, does that make me a widow?
Gavin
I thought being married or engaged to that person was eternal.
Everyone can probably agree there.
however im under the assumtion, or from what ive read in the bible. windowers should stay single and not remarry.
Inot sure and a bit ignorant of this subject, hense im here for some insight.
my fiance is in heaven, she was 22. im 26. if i live a good healthy life, i could have another 7 decades to live before i see her. thats a long time. and its a long time to ber on your own.
I have a much much stronger faith in Jesus now. it is unbelievable how comforting it is knowing she is heaven, and how much i have changed.
i dont think i would consider marrying. however another question, since we didnt marry, does that make me a widow?
Gavin
Upvote
0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums
Legally and Biblically, no you are not a widow. And even if you were, Christian widows (and widowers) are allowed to remarry and even encouraged to. Paul would ideally like all Christians to dedicate our lives completely to serving God which is not possible when we commit to a marriage. That is the reason why he suggests that we stay single. The honesty expressed in the Bible shows that widows often experience a "burning passion" (sexual desire) and can easily be drawn into activities like gossip as a result of too much idle time. You do have the same grief that goes with being a widow/er....so in that way, you are a real "widower".
First of all, I am very sorry about your loss. I was married for over 16 years when my husband died. He has been gone 4 1/2 years. I still feel a connection with him ... but am also hoping that God will bring someone else in my life to love too. Loving another man does not reduce the love I have for my husband...it actually is more proof that he taught me how to love. I believe I honor him and God by continuing to love and live life instead of giving up on life when it is not my time to die. You will have to see where God puts your heart. It may change over time...but that is okay because change is often just growth.
There is not "marriage" in heaven so it will not be an issue when we get there. Somehow there will be room for all the people we love. Jealousy is not going to exist in heaven. It will be the pure love of Christ instead of the flawed love that we feel as humans.
First of all, I am very sorry about your loss. I was married for over 16 years when my husband died. He has been gone 4 1/2 years. I still feel a connection with him ... but am also hoping that God will bring someone else in my life to love too. Loving another man does not reduce the love I have for my husband...it actually is more proof that he taught me how to love. I believe I honor him and God by continuing to love and live life instead of giving up on life when it is not my time to die. You will have to see where God puts your heart. It may change over time...but that is okay because change is often just growth.
There is not "marriage" in heaven so it will not be an issue when we get there. Somehow there will be room for all the people we love. Jealousy is not going to exist in heaven. It will be the pure love of Christ instead of the flawed love that we feel as humans.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
