Need advice

[savinghopexx]

So I have a guy friend that I have been talking to for awhile and he is a great christian man and we both like each other. We seem to be equally yolked and both have a strong faith for Jesus. The only issue is that he has kids from a previous relationship and I do not want any kids. This situation is hard because he is a great christian guy and would be someone I am def interested in dating but I do not want any children, at least not right now. We talked about this before and decided to just remain friends but I feel as though this keeps popping up in my head and sometimes we do a flirt a little still. My question is should we just strictly remain friends and set up more boundaries? I just do not want this to feel like a friend's with benefit type thing since we are not dating and dont plan on it soon. Should I not let the idea of not wanting kids get in the way of a potential relationship? I just need some Godly advice if anyone can help. Thanks

 

[Daniel Marsh]

Both should,

Job 31:1

“I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look with desire upon a virgin.​

 

[bèlla]

You should wish him well and move on. His children aren't going anywhere and whether you're interested in having your own at a later date doesn't minimize their presence. If you're not prepared to be a mother to them if you get together he's not an option. You can't be in his life and not be involved with his children.

There's nothing wrong with you and you shouldn't feel bad. It's a big responsibility and you don't know the circumstances with their mother or if they get along. You'll have to deal with her too. In a perfect world things run smooth but most of the time that isn't the case.

And there's the children to consider and their receptiveness. Sometimes they're accepting and sometimes they aren't. You'd have to be patient and understanding.

When I've encountered men with similar dilemmas I've always declined. There's too many unknowns and I didn't shape those children. That's someone else's clay and there's limitations I can't go beyond. They're not my children and I accept that.

For me, whether it's a failed relationship or widow my answer is the same. It's beyond my comfort zone but someone else may be ideal. I stick to single, never married suitors and it hasn't lessened my engagement.

~bella

 

[com7fy8]

Jesus wants us to love any and all people. So, I am sure God does want you to love his children; and I think if you are in any way involved with him, this includes asking about them, somehow getting to know them, praying for them.

I don't think it is right to put him in a spot where being with you can make it a problem for him to have his children!

He possibly has been faithful and responsible to be there for his children, and you have come along and possibly have made that a problem??

Whatever you do, I think you need to find out how to support and bless and honor what he has been doing, and believe in what he is doing, in any case.

So, pray and find out how God has you love him and his children. In any case, you are going to grow in Jesus; so do not hang yourself up with what you can want now while you are less mature at loving.

 

[BobRyan]

So I have a guy friend that I have been talking to for awhile and he is a great christian man and we both like each other. We seem to be equally yolked and both have a strong faith for Jesus. The only issue is that he has kids from a previous relationship and I do not want any kids. This situation is hard because he is a great christian guy and would be someone I am def interested in dating but I do not want any children, at least not right now. We talked about this before and decided to just remain friends but I feel as though this keeps popping up in my head and sometimes we do a flirt a little still. My question is should we just strictly remain friends and set up more boundaries? I just do not want this to feel like a friend's with benefit type thing since we are not dating and dont plan on it soon. Should I not let the idea of not wanting kids get in the way of a potential relationship? I just need some Godly advice if anyone can help. Thanks

first of all - is it your position that you never want kids?

if the answer is that at some point you do think that is what you will want - then add that info to the mix in your decision.

then ask yourself if you do not want kids now - so much that you don't care if you ever see that guy again, so as to ensure not being in the mom-of-kids role any time soon ? If so - then leave now. Go some place where you will not connect with him.

 

[savinghopexx]

first of all - is it your position that you never want kids?

if the answer is that at some point you do think that is what you will want - then add that info to the mix in your decision.

then ask yourself if you do not want kids now - so much that you don't care if you ever see that guy again, so as to ensure not being in the mom-of-kids role any time soon ? If so - then leave now. Go some place where you will not connect with him.

Do you think we should just stop being friends completely? We had a conversation about it and we were both okay with not dating but still being friends. We still text and talk and its fine for now. There are no hard feelings.