Your recommendation of courting length?

[yaypraisegod]

Most people would say 1~2 years.
Is there anything wrong with a relationship that is longer ? As long as it's Christ centered, it shouldn't be too bad right?

 

[ModestGirlsRock]

I believe a courtship is as long as it needs to be. It seems like a lot of people rush into marriage thinking they have to follow a timeline. Yet, once they're married, they find out they still have a lot of issues they should've worked out with their spouse before entering marriage.

I am in a courtship and many married couples have emphasized, if not over emphasized, that the one thing a God-focused courting couple has on their side is time. Many married couples have told my boyfriend and I to take our time and realize that any problems/issues we may have as individuals and a couple are compounded once we enter marriage. So, understanding that, I don't think courtships should have a timeline especially if you're truly trying to prepare yourself to be married to this other person.

Of course, being in a God-focused courtship requires tremendous work regarding purity boundaries. Two years can be a long time to fall in love with someone and have to wait to share yourself. However, it can be done. I know plenty of examples including my own brother who dated my sister-in-law for seven years before marrying her. He's an extreme case, but it's encouraging, nonetheless. My boyfriend and I have decided to save our first kiss (to each other) for marriage, and we have no idea when we'll be able to get married even though that's what we're striving for.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

I would say at least a year. It takes AT LEAST that long to really truly get to know someone well. People rush into marriage way too often, and those that rush in often rush back out again. Not always, but often.

 

[E.C.]

As long as needed.

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

Each person is different. I was married after 9 months of meeting my wife. It worked for us where it doesn't work for others. More often than not, 9 months is too soon, but it worked for us.

 

[The Nihilist]

2 years. No one can hide terrible flaws for two years.

 

[Luther073082]

It depends a lot of life status and age as well.

I think the younger you are then the longer you should probably go.

For me I was 26 when I met my wife, asked her to marry me 8 and a half months after I met her. Actually got married about a year and a month after that. So we where together for about 1 year and 9 months before we got married. We where both 27 when we got married.

 

[gzt]

Two years is a good boundary point. If it's been longer than a couple years, you should have a reason, and there are plenty of good reasons, but you should know what you're doing. I mean, if you end up dating somebody from the ages of 20-27 and don't end up married to that person, well, there are probably a lot of things about that which were less than ideal. I think it's important to keep in mind that you're courting this person to see if you're going to marry this person. Does it take 5 years to learn the answer is no? Maybe. It can. Probably not, in most cases.

 

[~Lynz~]

i think courtship last aslong as u want it to. if ur happy at that stage then good for u... me presonally know i want to be with my bf forever and want our lives together to start sooner rather than later. every bodys different there tho. some ppl are together 10 yrs before they get married...

as long as u got a future in the realationship its worth while being in. if ur not gonna get engaged and married one day then ur just wasting time.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

We were married after 9 months (7 months of dating, 2 months engaged) and it's worked perfectly for us, I'd say.

 

[rubygirl]

i pretty much echo what gzt said-- I would say 1-2 years is a good point to marry. If it goes past the 2 yr point you should have some reason why..if its taking past 3 yrs I would say, if the issue is that serious to cause you not to marry them, what are you doing with them, if not to marry them?

my brother had a gf for (gulp) apr 12 yrs on and off..i mean, do you really need years and years to figure out if the person is right for you.

what have heard and i believe its true for most part, is that MOST men know in a short time if the woman they are with, they will marry them or not

and i think probably women too know earlier stages if the man they're with is someone they want to marry,

after 3 yrs i think it becomes risky and leaves too much room for trouble

if you love G-d and want to honor him, imo prolonged dating is not the way to do it