Your own company

[live2dt]

Hello everyone. I just wanted to post a question here. I want to know how many singles really like their own company. I have learned over the years to be content with my own company. I have always been able to occupy my self with hobbies and activities I enjoy. I do like to date and enjoy others, but if there is something I like to do and I do not have someone else to do it with I will go do that something myself. I have no problem going to the movies, concerts, and restaurants myself if I want to. I have known others that cannot do that and have become upset if they cannot find someone to do something with them every time they want to go out. I have known others who I feel have missed things they really enjoy and wanted to do just because they could not go out alone. In my opinion this is preventing many people from enjoying life. How many people do you know who are like this? How as a Christian single do you handle doing things alone?

 

[dayhiker]

Live I'm with you on this. I often do things alone. I went out last night alone. Did talk to a couple for 10 mins. But most of the two sets of music I just sat there and listen by myself. No ladies to dance with last night, true, but that was OK.

I've vacationed alone, traveled alone, gone to workshops alone. Used to be I would be alone on a trip, but now I can talk to people and find a short term friend on a longer trip.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

I go to concerts, movies, etc alone and don't give it a thought. I am not self-conscious about that at all. It is a rare occurrence that I get to date anyone so I had better be used to going places alone. In fact, a friend recently invited me to his church for a concert, he was there with his girlfriend and there I was alone. I enjoyed the concert and I remember wishing I had a girlfriend who liked the same type of music and we could talk about it later. But I did not think, "Here I am alone, what will people think?" And I did have a good time talking with him and a few other people after the concert. But I really didn"t care what people thought of the fact I was alone, if anyone noticed. And I have always been that way.

Here's more of a social story than a dating story. I traveled with some colleagues to a city and the question came up about what to do in our free time. I mentioned some museums and invited them to go with me, and they just looked at me funny. Then they excitedly talked about all of the sports bars in town. I went with them to one bar but after 30 minutes I had about all the noise I could stand. Can you imagine 20 TVs blaring at once and I think they had music on top of that. So I figured I had done enough to put up appearances and politely excused myself and left. So I went to some museums, went to parks, went to stores in my free time. And I did a lot of walking. The other folks hit one bar after the other in their free time, mostly to watch football games. I enjoyed my free time. I did not feel self-conscious. To each his own but I can't imagine going somewhere and spending my free time watching TV. I mean, if you get to go somewhere, there are probably parks, museums, historical sites - something to explore. But I have always been a bit of a loner, some might even say I am "strange."

 

[Jenster]

I've done things alone, although not traveled. As a woman, I tend to be overly cautious in that area.

I have gone to many many movies by myself. Mostly it's been OK, except I did feel some embarrassment several years ago when I went on a weekend and ran into a guy from my church who was there with his family. It would have been OK but for the fact that he asked who I was there with and looked a little awkward when I said I was there alone. That was me bumping my head against the cultural norm.

I wouldn't go to a fancy restaurant alone, although I've seen people who've done that. I always figured they were traveling through or something.

When it comes right down to it, no one else cares whether you are there by yourself. But yes, I do have friends who avoid such situations. Maybe it's because they feel it reminds them that they are alone? I haven't thought about this question for awhile, as I have a bf, but if he weren't available or interested in doing something, I'd probably do it myself. I would encourage him to do something by himself if I weren't interested.

 

[blackribbon]

I hate eating out alone...so I tend to go take-out. I don't care about food enough for it to be my only company.

However, I have no problem going to movies, shows, museums, and such alone ... in fact I often enjoy it because I don't have to worry about making anyone else happy. However, I miss having someone to share ideas when doing these things.

So I'm okay with being alone. However, it isn't healthy to be alone too much. We are social creatures and need interaction.

 

[mjmcmillan]

I'm as close to a hermit living in a cave as it's possible to get without actually living in a cave. I do most things alone these days. It goes without saying that I work alone, the only time I interact directly with others is at loading docks. I usually eat alone, recreate alone and so on. I'm living at a friend's house, but since our interests aren't the same we usually don't see each other much.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Rather than recount some boring story, I will ask, has your social or professional life been harmed because you did not "run with the crowd?" Not that I am so high and mighty, but I have found that being a little aloof from certain people and situations has marked me as "different" in a way that some people take negatively. However, it has also kept me from getting involved in petty conflicts and it has made it harder for people with some agenda to take advantage of me.

 

[live2dt]

Hello everyone. Thanks for your posts. I realize that there has to be a balance with spending time with others and time alone. I feel that we can go to one extreme or another. We can either isolate too much or be around people too much. I like to do things socially. I like good fellowship with godly people doing things that are edifying, not demeaning. Recently I have not had the opportunity to do much fellowshipping, but when I can I do. When I was younger I would isolate more. I realize that I was missing out on a lot of things. I feel that as we get older we can become more comfortable with being by ourselves. I think that people who are younger have not yet learned how to be comfortable with their own company. I feel that I did not enjoy myself as a single as much as a could have when I was younger. I often say to those I know who are younger single to not worry about doing things on their own. I feel a lot people do not find out who they are, because they wait to be with someone.

 

[dayhiker]

That's why we love being mature.

 

[AvilaSurfer]

Between the ocean out my back door, and the ongoing conversations I have with God, I don't feel alone very often.

 

[exitstageright]

Hello everyone. I just wanted to post a question here. I want to know how many singles really like their own company. I have learned over the years to be content with my own company. I have always been able to occupy my self with hobbies and activities I enjoy. I do like to date and enjoy others, but if there is something I like to do and I do not have someone else to do it with I will go do that something myself. I have no problem going to the movies, concerts, and restaurants myself if I want to. I have known others that cannot do that and have become upset if they cannot find someone to do something with them every time they want to go out. I have known others who I feel have missed things they really enjoy and wanted to do just because they could not go out alone. In my opinion this is preventing many people from enjoying life. How many people do you know who are like this? How as a Christian single do you handle doing things alone?

When I first saw the title of this thread,I thought that you were talking about entrepreneurship.

Yes, I would love to have someone to share my life's passions. But,I can and I do enjoy doing things alone. Many places I have traveled alone and I have enjoyed myself in such places as Alaksa,Australia,Switzwerland,Tahiti,Hawaii,and Bora Bora.

Having only one season ticket,I have been going to 49ers'football games by myself since 1979. Of course,when I am around 60,000 fans,I do not feel alone.

One time,while traveling to Hawaii alone,I did get irritated. At the Honolulu International Airport shuttle stop,while checking into my hotel,and while I was at a nice resturant in Maui,the staff kept asking me,"Oh!,are you here by yourself?" After being asked that for the third time,I just wanted to say,"Aughhhhhh!!!,Stop reminding me! I am here to have a great time.Please stop reminding me that I do not have anyone! Not everybody on this planet is part of a couple. I....... am........ not......a........FREAK!"

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I am totally comfortable doing things alone and as blackribbon said, sometimes that's easier because you don't have to worry about whether the other person is having a good time or when to leave, if they want to leave and you want to stay.
I would be perfectly fine doing more by myself but being a woman prevents me from taking the risk. I'm talking about things like camping, or hiking and I just don't think I should do those alone, and I wouldn't feel safe doing them alone.
Of course it is also fun to do things with other people and I like that too.
But yes, since my husband died, I decided to learn to like me and like being with me and I am OK with that. I know I am never really alone, because God is with me so...

 

[live2dt]

“Originally Posted by exitstageright,
One time,while traveling to Hawaii alone,I did get irritated. At the Honolulu International ,while checking into my hotel,and while I was at a nice resturant in Maui,the staff kept asking me,"Oh!,are you here by yourself?" After being asked that for the third time,I just wanted to say,"Aughhhhhh!!!,Stop reminding me! I am here to have a great time.Please stop reminding me that I do not have anyone! Not everybody on this planet is part of a couple. I....... am........ not......a........FREAK!"

I can relate Exit. I had similar experiences when I have traveled. Most of the time it does not bother me, but there are rare times that I will get annoyed by people asking me those questions. I have to ask God to help me not to get to irritated with people. I do not know why they always have to ask either. Is it how I act when I am alone that that make them want to ask? I do not know. I do not mind eating alone or traveling alone. I like to people watch. I always have a book to read or newspaper. I usually read something when I eat alone. I do not think that I give out a vibe of desperation. I act normal and do not look sad or embrassed when I travel or eat by myself.

“Originally Posted by Doctor Stangelove,
Here's more of a social story than a dating story. I traveled with some colleagues to a city and the question came up about what to do in our free time. I mentioned some museums and invited them to go with me, and they just looked at me funny. Then they excitedly talked about all of the sports bars in town. I went with them to one bar but after 30 minutes I had about all the noise I could stand. Can you imagine 20 TVs blaring at once and I think they had music on top of that. So I figured I had done enough to put up appearances and politely excused myself and left. So I went to some museums, went to parks, went to stores in my free time. And I did a lot of walking. The other folks hit one bar after the other in their free time, mostly to watch football games. I enjoyed my free time. I did not feel self-conscious. To each his own but I can't imagine going somewhere and spending my free time watching TV. I mean, if you get to go somewhere, there are probably parks, museums, historical sites - something to explore. But I have always been a bit of a loner, some might even say I am "strange."

When I travel I like to see something cultural. I also like to go to museums, and historical sites. I have been blessed to travel to many wonderful places. I have traveled with people who did not care anything about the culture and people of the country they were in. I also like to hike and walk whenever I can when I visit different countries. That is what makes traveling interesting and fun.

I do not think you are stange Doc. You seem to enjoy the fine cultural things of life. I have have often been called the same for having different tastes from those I work around or went to school with.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Thanks for the kind words, live2dt! I can relate. In my immediate and extended family there are Classical musicians. When I was young I pretty much missed out on the teenage rebellion culture. I was focused on school and technical hobbies. I found I got more out of associating with adults who had the same hobbies than I got from most people my age. I did things like build radios and telescopes and I took flying lessons. I would not trade those early experiences for anything. And I got a lot of free tickets to concerts over the years! I am introverted and never liked activities with a lot of noise or crowds. I was taught from an early age to go out and do things or read books. Television was never a babysitter. Other kids used to make fun of me when I was young but I don't think I let it affect me much. There is an expression in German that someone's life is "too narrow." I guess I never had reason to be bored or to think that my life was "narrow."

 

[live2dt]

Hey Doc. I read in another post that you are not feeling well. I hope you not suffering to badly and hope you feel better soon. I know a lot of people are getting sick this winter.

I wanted to ask you if you know German. I do. I have German mother. I might know that saying that you mentioned. I was the same growing up. I read a lot, and was raised on Classical music. I used to play the clarinet in high school. Mozart is my favorite composer and I really liked to play his music. This of course made me a nerd or strangle in school.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Hallo live2dt, ich kann auch deutsch! I picked up some German as a child from older relatives and studied German (and Russian) intensely in school. I was once certified by the Goethe Institut for a certain level of proficiency in German, I think it was a level or two behind native profficiency. But that was years ago. I don't get much of a chance to talk or write in German. There is a German club in town but I have not gone to a meeting in years. I read online news in German and I listen a lot to German programming on radio (used to listen to the Deutsche Welle a lot on shortwave, now I listen to various German and other stations on the Internet). I read Luther's German translation of the Bible a lot, as well as several English translations and I am struggling to read Greek. My family is of German and Lutheran background, so I absorbed a lot of that Kultur. An uncle of mine was a Lutheran pastor. He would be very upset with the current state of Christianity. He passed on to better things 20 years ago.

As for music, I tend to favor Baroque, especially Bach. Mozart is fantastic and I think he would have been even more fantastic had he lived longer and matured. I also like some modern composers and some jazz.

I have some family history in the Gettysburg area. I learned a lot touring the battlefield there.

It looks like we have some things in common!

You are welcome to pm me if you like. It is fine if you write in German if you want. I think that would be fun, actually. I apologize to the board for writing a long, boring biography of everything I have been doing since the last Ice Age!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

Sorry I couldn't resist. It's all I know in German lol.

BUT I have to say....Dr and live2dt.....sounds like you guys have alot in common......

 

[exitstageright]

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

Sorry I couldn't resist. It's all I know in German lol.

BUT I have to say....Dr and live2dt.....sounds like you guys have alot in common......

Maybe, I should not admit this.

What little German I have learned,came from watching the sitcom,"Hogan's Heroes"
A radio was not allowed in the barracks. Sargent Schultz says,"Colonel,that radio is verboten." So,I surmised that verboten is German for forbidden.
In one scene,Newkirk,posing as an German Officer,says to Sargent Schultz,"Sargent,wie ist dein name?" Schultz replied,"Schultz!!"I thought,"Oh!,he asked the Sargent ,"What is your name?"

When someone left,someone would say" Auf Wiedersehen". Therefore,someone was saying "good-by",or "until we meet again."

Now,the last one is a no-brainer. Colonel Klink would often call Schultz a dumm kopf. I interpreted that as meaning "dumb head",or "dummy".
It actually means a stupid person. OOps! Can we say "stupid" on this forum?

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

OOps! Can we say "stupid" on this forum?

Only when we are talking about you!

 

[exitstageright]

OOps! Can we say "stupid" on this forum?

Only when we are talking about you!

WOW!,I walked right into that one,didn't I?