Your opinion...

[MusicMelOU]

So, I've seen a few posts on this board, and a few of you say that the ideal way a relationship should go is being friends and then attraction comes later.

So it brought me to ask a question. What if you find another person attractive at the beginning of a friendship? Do you think that a relationship cannot be something God wants if you find another person attractive immediately?

Yeah, I hear all these stories that people cling to/rag about regarding these people who have known each other forever and then boom one day they are attracted to one another and all is well. But I never hear many stories about people who found each other attractive from the very beginning, also came to be good friends, and all went well. The way it's presented at times I've seen, seems to say "well, if you find someone attractive when you first meet them you can write this person off the for potentially dating/courting because that's not that way that it is supposed to work."

My opinion of this: I think that it doesn't matter as to when attraction comes with another person, as long as the persons involved are godly in the manner in which they go about it. I am curious as to what other's think.

 

[netal]

I think it is fine if the attraction comes pretty soon in the friendship. I think the important thing is to actually be friends. Get to know each other- then I think the attraction blossoms when you really know the person. Being friends first kind of just puts a good foundation on the relationship- it means the relationship won't be all about feeling attracted or in love... it's more about the connection you share. I think maybe it has more to do with when you act on that attraction, than when it begins. I don't think it's a good idea to react quickly to attraction- because often it's just a fleeting feeling.

 

[Kepa]

So, I've seen a few posts on this board, and a few of you say that the ideal way a relationship should go is being friends and then attraction comes later.

So it brought me to ask a question. What if you find another person attractive at the beginning of a friendship? Do you think that a relationship cannot be something God wants if you find another person attractive immediately?

Yeah, I hear all these stories that people cling to/rag about regarding these people who have known each other forever and then boom one day they are attracted to one another and all is well. But I never hear many stories about people who found each other attractive from the very beginning, also came to be good friends, and all went well. The way it's presented at times I've seen, seems to say "well, if you find someone attractive when you first meet them you can write this person off the for potentially dating/courting because that's not that way that it is supposed to work."

My opinion of this: I think that it doesn't matter as to when attraction comes with another person, as long as the persons involved are godly in the manner in which they go about it. I am curious as to what other's think.

Attraction can occur on different levels and in different ways I think. Because, in order to first talk to someone, or start a friendship with someone, there has to be SOME type of attraction. Whether it's the fact that you both have common ground, whether they're a personable type of person, whether they treated you nice, whether or not they are good looking.

So there is some sort of attraction before friendship. But marriage is a whole other bundle of fish which I most likely wouldn't be able to comment on because I'm not married =]

 

[invisiblebabe]

Hmmm here's my theory: either ya find someone attractive right away, or you don't. Then, as you get to know him, you either become more or less attracted to him, depending on his personality and whether or not you two hit it off. Physical attraction is pretty much a no-brainer... either it's there, or it isn't. That's probably why waiting to develop a friendship before you pursue something more is smart... you take the time to find out whether there's more than just the initial physical attraction.