This is important to you, isn't it?
Only in the sense presented below.
Actually, I like you very much--you are sincere, and I have every hope that God will reveal himself to you just as he did to me (took 15 years), who likewise could not make myself believe what I did not really believe.
Since I couldn't resolve the problem, I decided to just shelve it and get on with life. . .however, shelving it did not mean rejecting it, but remaining open to be convinced. . .which happened some 15 years later, when I really wasn't even looking for it.
And I will pray that God bless you with that same wonderful event.
We all have a sinful nature, not just unbelievers.
And so: John Gill from his commentary on the understanding of
Ephesians 2:3, "by nature children of wrath as others"
they were such "by nature"; really, and not in opinion, and by and from their first birth: so a Jewish commentator (s) on these words, "thy first father hath sinned",
Isaiah 43:27 has this note;"how canst thou say thou hast not sinned? and behold thy first father hath sinned, and he is the first man, for man , "is naturally in sin";''or by nature a sinner, or sin is naturally impressed in him; and hence being by nature a sinner, he is by nature deserving of the wrath of God, as were the persons spoken of:even as others; as the rest of the world, Jews as well as Gentiles; and Gentiles are especially designed, in distinction from the Jews,