- Jul 23, 2002
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My husband and I had a long teary night the other night and we have decided that we are going to start trying for a family.
There are all sorts of reasons for not doing it just now but there are always going to be reasons not to do it and we are in a fairly good position just now.
The main reason for waiting would be my state of metal health but we were thinking about it and we will manage and it isn't like we know when I will get better or if I will ever get better and we want children so much that we are not willing to not have children just because of my health. Obviously we have to think of the child and their quality of life but as long as I put plenty of support in place then we think it should be okay.
There are lots of scary things like - can we afford it (I don't think we will ever really be able to afford it but I do think we can make it work), we would have to sell our flat and move into a bigger place.
The biggest two hurdles though are that due to the contraceptive that I was using up untill a year ago (just been using condoms since then) I don't have any periods and don't know when they will come back.
And the worst thing of all is that I HATE sex, it hurts and it reminds me of the abuse I suffered as a child and teenager. I managed to do it the other night (the night we decided) but it was painfull and it made me cry (and not in a good way), how can I have sex often enough to get pregnant if that is how it makes me feel?
scared and happy
Jay
There are all sorts of reasons for not doing it just now but there are always going to be reasons not to do it and we are in a fairly good position just now.
The main reason for waiting would be my state of metal health but we were thinking about it and we will manage and it isn't like we know when I will get better or if I will ever get better and we want children so much that we are not willing to not have children just because of my health. Obviously we have to think of the child and their quality of life but as long as I put plenty of support in place then we think it should be okay.
There are lots of scary things like - can we afford it (I don't think we will ever really be able to afford it but I do think we can make it work), we would have to sell our flat and move into a bigger place.
The biggest two hurdles though are that due to the contraceptive that I was using up untill a year ago (just been using condoms since then) I don't have any periods and don't know when they will come back.
And the worst thing of all is that I HATE sex, it hurts and it reminds me of the abuse I suffered as a child and teenager. I managed to do it the other night (the night we decided) but it was painfull and it made me cry (and not in a good way), how can I have sex often enough to get pregnant if that is how it makes me feel?
scared and happy
Jay
) and we have one son and a baby on the way. I would also recommend that if you ever have the opportunity you should attend an "Intimate Issues" conference. It is a weekend thing that is about the biblcal view of sex for women. They deal with issue such as abuse and many other topics. It really changed my outlook on sex and marriage and my husband thinks it was money well spent.
I think there will be some times better than others, if you havent gotten counseling it might really help to change the way you think of it, but I definitely agree that if you keep it "regular" it will be easier for you and you will remember the good ties with your husband... it doesn't have to be all the time, just regular, maybe a good goal would be once a week.
