xtian p

[reformedfan]

ok!!

SO.....

it's not like i can go to my church with this kinda question

ok; .......

dang, just SO freakin' hard to ask strangers for parenting/medical/ neuro disorder advice, cuz it's so easy for random strangers to read a post i didn't word well & have them think 'wow! she's an idiot that hates her kids!! i gotta lock on the truth & here's what she should do, cuz i did it & my kids are awesome!!'

cuz i'll only read the between the lines 'wow! she's an idiot that hates her kids!!' part & be too hurt to read the 'i did it & my kids are awesome!!' part sorry!! i'm hyper & a girl & a mom & skip around & read stuff thru hurt feelings

ok so!!!!!!!

(man alive; please, be merciful to me... i freakin LOVE my kids... all of 'em!! especially the handicapped ones... cuz i am TOTALLY that way!! & man alive!! it sux!! it sux being this way, it sux the non handicapped kids can read my bias- even tho i deny it & try harder to at least look more impartial when it comes to the handicapped kids.... but it's hard!!! but i try & am doing my best!!!!!)

ok so.... my 1 kid- that i totally freakin' identify with cuz i'm no diff than him- did something impulsive & stoopit...

& that's not the kinda thing you can 'train' a kid to do do diff, when he has THAT kinda handicap,anymore than ya can train a kid with CP to walked unassisted, y'follow me?

just SUX

cuz i know what the various Bible verses say about this & that... dude... really, i KNOW!!i didn't grow up in a xtian home... i became one as an adult after a devil worshiping past, so the Bible isn't something i am vaguely aware of, that exists, somewhere fuzzily out there, y'know? i mean to me... it's way more than that y'know?? etc, pm me for mo' details if yer curious

that's why this is SO freakin' hard for me-

ok so this 1 kid does stuff cuz he totally can't help it... totally opp what the Bible sez he should be like... & it's that whole Romans 7 stuff, y;'know?? man alive; sorry; totally prolly this post is gonna offend like 17 people that'll report it... ok; cool; story of my life. that's the truth tho

ok; so quick before i get banned- dude; what am i supposed to do?? i mean i've already had the talk with him- 'a rightous man keeps his word even when it hurts' but i totally KNOW how he can't help it/ he feels bad afterwards/ etc... & dooode!!! i know it hurts!!but whadd'ya gonna do?!?! sux!! blast adam & slog on

*sigh* just being a mom & went thru this with even the handicapped kid i did't relate to on that same level.... & dang; he turned out to be considering the pastorate... just never gets easier kid to kid, y'know? even tho i thought it would

i dunno... should i reverse the kid's self inflicted puniushment? show him grace not justice??

maybe this is psychological, not Spiritual... maybe i just would LOVE a kid that was able to fight off those natural inclinations & rise above for relig reasons, even tho i couldnt & no one i know with THAT kinda disorder can...

ok, prolly that... tomorrow, when he wakes up i'm gonna tell 'im 'it's cool; here ya go; restored like nothing happened!!'... right?? or should i enforce the consequence even tho dooode!!! i feel it'd be like punishing someone with no arms that he couldn't write his name.....

huh.... even tho kids with no arms CAN write their names, if they have that inner drive inside.... .... , or whatever the h it is

nothing like secrecy wrapped in an enigma cloaked in a mystery, eh?

thanx to all!! pray if nothing else!!