Wrong for couples NOT to have kids?

[fraggable]

My parents and I have been looking for a church for a few years now and I think we finally found one, but this morning the pastor said something kind of bizarre that I'd never thought about. Apparently they have a couples group, in which they've been covering some 12 points that I think he came up with. He read through them, one of them was that couples were meant to procreate. Not just that they had the right, that they were obligated to. He said that some couples don't have kids, saying they want to advance their careers first, but that parenting is the greatest career a woman can have.

I've never thought I'd have kids right after getting married, as a matter of fact I don't necessarily even like kids. I think that will change someday, just like young boys don't like girls until, well, you know. I have a few more years until my career pays enough that I don't have to travel or work longer, unpredictable hours to make enough to live on, and I would actually like my future wife to have some kind of college degree and work exerience, even if she wants to be a stay-at-home mom.

So, what do you think? Surely procreation is encouraged several times in the Bible, like when He said 'Go forth and multiply' in Genesis. Does that make it wrong not to? Is it wrong never to have kids?

 

[Sketcher]

Couples that are unable to have children wouldn't be in sin, so I don't think it's necessarily a hard and fast rule that everyone MUST have children.

I would say it's best to be open to God's will. No birth control except abstinence is 100% reliable, and in His sovereignty, He will circumvent whatever birth control combination a couple chooses to have if He wants them to have a baby bad enough. I think this is something you should pray about above all.

 

[KomissarSteve]

I don't think it's a sin at all, but I DO think that sometimes, childless couples can become a little more self-centered and withdrawn from reality than couples with children. It's difficult to describe, but it's just something I've observed; it's almost as if they've...I dunno...missed out on a crucial step in their personal development, or something.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

I don't think it's a sin at all, but I DO think that sometimes, childless couples can become a little more self-centered and withdrawn from reality than couples with children. It's difficult to describe, but it's just something I've observed; it's almost as if they've...I dunno...missed out on a crucial step in their personal development, or something.

I know what you're saying, cause I've observed this as well. Parents with children amaze me too, at how self-centered they still can be. I work at a childcare center, and sometimes I just wonder about the parents who bring their children there.

And BTW, I don't think it is a sin not to have children.

 

[KomissarSteve]

I know what you're saying, cause I've observed this as well. Parents with children amaze me too, at how self-centered they still can be. I work at a childcare center, and sometimes I just wonder about the parents who bring their children there.

And BTW, I don't think it is a sin not to have children.

Yeah, I suppose this is just a very me-centric period in history...

 

[Annova]

No it's not a sin to not have children. Some are meant to have them and some are not.

Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Timyone]

Ive heard it said in a catholic service, but never in protestant talks!

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

No, not at all. I almost think its worse for people who don't necessarily like kids to have them. You can be selfish with or without kids.

 

[Weasel7711]

My parents and I have been looking for a church for a few years now and I think we finally found one, but this morning the pastor said something kind of bizarre that I'd never thought about. Apparently they have a couples group, in which they've been covering some 12 points that I think he came up with. He read through them, one of them was that couples were meant to procreate. Not just that they had the right, that they were obligated to. He said that some couples don't have kids, saying they want to advance their careers first, but that parenting is the greatest career a woman can have.

I've never thought I'd have kids right after getting married, as a matter of fact I don't necessarily even like kids. I think that will change someday, just like young boys don't like girls until, well, you know. I have a few more years until my career pays enough that I don't have to travel or work longer, unpredictable hours to make enough to live on, and I would actually like my future wife to have some kind of college degree and work exerience, even if she wants to be a stay-at-home mom.

So, what do you think? Surely procreation is encouraged several times in the Bible, like when He said 'Go forth and multiply' in Genesis. Does that make it wrong not to? Is it wrong never to have kids?

It is very encouraged but its not at all wrong to not have children.

 

[mina]

No, some people shouldn't have children or can't have children. All children deserve to be wanted and loved. So if a couple recognizes that they would not be good parents and don't want that responsibility then it is not wrong- it is actually very mature and responsible to know that.

 

[Tink]

I don't remember reading "You must procreate or you are in direct violation of God's will" anywhere...

 

[jasmine88]

No, some people shouldn't have children or can't have children. All children deserve to be wanted and loved. So if a couple recognizes that they would not be good parents and don't want that responsibility then it is not wrong- it is actually very mature and responsible to know that.

Well said. Couldn't agree more.

 

[Keen]

Jesus didn't have any kids. Of course, he wasn't part of a couple either... but that's largely irrelevant to a confused church culture that often treats singleness as sinfulness.

BTW, excellent point SweetlyBroken.

 

[Timyone]

Paul was saying to stay single if you could most of the time, so id say that if he was saying to have children and stay singly the church has some probs to deal with

 

[Braticus]

I don't think it's a sin at all, but I DO think that sometimes, childless couples can become a little more self-centered and withdrawn from reality than couples with children. It's difficult to describe, but it's just something I've observed; it's almost as if they've...I dunno...missed out on a crucial step in their personal development, or something.

Ditto that Steve. I so agree with you.

 

[Keri]

I learned something in Bible college about this. Some Christians take the words, "Go forth and fill the earth" to mean, "You must have 500 kids." The two times that the Lord stated that was when the Earth was devoid of humans. When Adam and Eve were the only two humans and when Noah and his family got off of the Ark after the flood and they were the only humans.

Jesus does state that He loves children and that no man should try to stop the little children from coming to Him... but He did not say that every married couple must have a litter of kids.

I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to have children and I don't see anything wrong with wanting to have as many as the Lord blesses you with.

 

[Braticus]

I learned something in Bible college about this. Some Christians take the words, "Go forth and fill the earth" to mean, "You must have 500 kids." The two times that the Lord stated that was when the Earth was devoid of humans. When Adam and Eve were the only two humans and when Noah and his family got off of the Ark after the flood and they were the only humans.

Jesus does state that He loves children and that no man should try to stop the little children from coming to Him... but He did not say that every married couple must have a litter of kids.

I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to have children and I don't see anything wrong with wanting to have as many as the Lord blesses you with.

Wonderful points *Keri*. You hit the nail on the head.
I think that it is important to look at scripture in context, sometimes we forget that and get things all jumbled up.

 

[Keri]

Thanks! I knew that info from that 3 hour class would be useful someday!

 

[PrincessFromOz]

Yeah, and especially if you're called to do something as a couple that would put kids in danger (eg. missions in a dangerous country), I doubt that it would be considered un-biblical not to have them to maintain your effectiveness in the work of the Lord!

I think the Bible has an awesome sense of balance about relationships. Everyone is equal, whether single, married, childless, or parents. Although we have to put some stuff in cultural perspective, considering that in those days there was no such thing as aged care and kids were a way to ensure you were cared for as you aged

 

[awashinlove]

I'm with the consensus, here.

I think the only thing wrong in the question of whether or not to have kids is taking someone else's word for it instead of going directly to God as a couple for the right answer.