Would you...

[Knee V]

Just to give you a little encouragement, a good friend of mine, who is a very solid christian, (and is a marine, and is VERY consistent in his life; he's the same at work with his marine buddies as he is everywhere else) just got married to a girl who was previously married and divorced. She is obviously NOT a virgin. And he WAS a virgin until he got married (which was last Saturday). So there are plenty of guys out there like that. You just have to know where to find them. And my own thought on the matter (myself not being a virgin) is that I would rather have a girl who has repented of her mistakes than someone who is proud to never have made any.

 

[white dove]

...Anyway, I think the pressure for guys to have sex is worse than it is for girls and, from what I've seen, they struggle with lust more than a lot of girls. see this thread:

http://www.christianforums.com/t2219795--for-the-females.html

I'm not saying it's easy for girls either, like I explained above, but.. just read the thread

LOL are you kidding me?? I posted in that thread, honey...

I'm trying to understand where you are coming from...

I really don't think it's fair to women nor men to assume that we, as women, have no/have had no real struggle to remain pure in thought, words & action in our past/lives (not past lives LOL ). It bothers me to no end when people pony up the excuse that "men are wired to be visually-stimulated" (b/c believe it or not, women are, too shocker, I know), "women are, by nature, far more beautiful creatures than men" (when beauty is relative ) & that "men are just naturally more promiscuous than women" (the whole Stone age mentality that says that originally, the male population "had to" populate the species & so that's why men are not monogomous "by nature." That's a whole other can o' worms though...

I apologize if I misunderstood your stance, though. It just seemed as though that's where your thoughts were falling...more in line with "what is understandable/acceptable for men is not for women" mentality. I apologize. Based upon your other posts, though...this would not appear to be the case at all.

 

[enelya_taralom]

In my mind, your question is kind of like asking, "Would you ever date someone who has previously sinned but as of now has become a born again believer?" ALL of us have sinned fallen short of the glory of God . I don't believe that one sin is more extreme than another.

Exactly!!

 

[Silver Speak]

I second what was said right above my post.

 

[beehoney]

Would you ever date someone who has previously had sex but as now become a "born again" virgin?? I have this guy friend and we were talking and I told him that I have had sex before, something I regret, and felt like I could no longer have that purity that most Christian guys are looking for....I have a new perspective on relationships and what God wants from me, but does this mean that I am no longer "whole"??

I would. Waiting for marriage to have sex certainly makes life more complicated, but that's not the first thing I'd consider when choosing a mate. Personal qualities are a lot more important to me.

 

[Leanna]

I'll admit first that I only read the OP, sorry. You can be whole, God can heal your heart. You can remain pure from now until marriage. Many good Christian men will still accept you and the right one will do so.

 

[WITNESS8]

Hmmm...I am not sure...I have never thought about that much before...It would depend on the person and my discernment of what to do...

 

[renaistre]

I'm not saying I wouldn't date a virgin, of course. What I mean is, I think I need to be shown affection physically too. Naturally, I'm not talking about sex here 'cause I definitely hope I'll save that for marriage. To be honest, I can't say I will definitely do just that 'cause I've done things before that I've sworn I'll never do but, yes, I want to trust God in that and make an effort. The thing is, I used to think it'd be a piece of cake until I actually had to face the difficulty of the decision in concrete and realized how harsh I'd been talking about it and I didn't even know what I was talking about!

I truly respect your decision and I'm really sorry if I put you down but I'm just saying that's not my preference..It's too late for that anyway. It's wonderful if you manage to do that but I hope I won't be judged for what I choose to do and not to do (as long as it isn't clearly stated a sin). No, it isn't black and white...

...I know and I didn't mean to judge them, sorry again! I just hope they know how incredibly hard it can be for some to abstain. I'm not saying any sin is justified but those who've already mistaken could use a bit more understanding.

I know you weren't trying to put me down, and I didn't take offense to any of what you said. I probably should have made that more clear since I was using quotes from your post.

I just think that your decision not to date guys who are completely "inexperienced" is similar in many ways to the decision that others make to not date non-virgins, and I was trying to use your ideas to help explain my ideas to everyone else. (How's that for a convoluted sentence? )

I think either decision can be perfectly appropriate depending on the individuals and circumstances involved, as long as they are not made for sinful reasons (pride, for example).

 

[mini_mim]

I would date, and marry, someone who was a virgin before becoming a Christian, because on accepting Christ, they became a new creation, a brand new life in its entirety. It might be hard sometimes, I am naturally quite insecure so definitely wouldn't be easy there, but that would be my problem not theirs. I have no right to judge someone for sin that God Himself has forgiven. JMO, hope it encourages someone.