Would you please pray for me.

[FallingWaters]

Sometimes we want to help and are unsure of what to say. Sometimes we take what others say as destructive criticism and not as constructive. And yes it hurts, I hope you've found or can find it in your heart to forgive your favorite aunt and any other family members. I am sure that they love you and just want to help.

I've come to say that you and your child are daily in my prayers beloved sister.

May HE guide you to release it all to HIM.

Do you really think it's right to tell a woman who just lost her husband four and a half months ago to stop grieving and move on with her life?
I frankly don't think a new widow deserves criticism... constructive or otherwise.

 

[NatalieJan777]

Do you really think it's right to tell a woman who just lost her husband four and a half months ago to stop grieving and move on with her life?
I frankly don't think a new widow deserves criticism... constructive or otherwise.

What I am saying, because I've been through it all before and perhaps I would take what was said differently now that I know what I should have done.

Does that make sense?

I held on to very little of my husbands belongings, I donated large qauntities to Good Will. It wasn't because I was trying to get rid of the memories of my husband. it was because I couldn't deal with the pain I was putting myself through by hanging on to them. But I was criticized for letting go and moving on too soon, and yes the criticism hurts. Over the years I have let go of the remaining things I had of his, each release brought more healing to me. I have the memories of the love we had together and this is now enough for me.

King David helped me through this. He mourned for the sickness of his child and kept vigilent in prayer and fasting after being told he would lose his child. Soon after the death of his child he immediately ate and went on with his life. He was asked by his maidservants why he displayed such odd behavior. King David simply replied "can I bring him back?". It is all so true, there is nothing we do that can bring them back. But we can be thankful to GOD for placing them in our lives and the lessons learned from it.

I am sorry if I offended you, please forgive me.

 

[FallingWaters]

What I am saying, because I've been through it all before and perhaps I would take what was said differently now that I know what I should have done.

Does that make sense?

I held on to very little of my husbands belongings, I donated large quantities to Good Will. It wasn't because I was trying to get rid of the memories of my husband. it was because I couldn't deal with the pain I was putting myself through by hanging on to them. But I was criticized for letting go and moving on too soon, and yes the criticism hurts. Over the years I have let go of the remaining things I had of his, each release brought more healing to me. I have the memories of the love we had together and this is now enough for me.

King David helped me through this. He mourned for the sickness of his child and kept vigilant in prayer and fasting after being told he would lose his child. Soon after the death of his child he immediately ate and went on with his life. He was asked by his maidservants why he displayed such odd behavior. King David simply replied "can I bring him back?". It is all so true, there is nothing we do that can bring them back. But we can be thankful to GOD for placing them in our lives and the lessons learned from it.

I am sorry if I offended you, please forgive me.

I wasn't offended, I was just trying to understand what you were saying. And I still don't think I do.

You said that I should accept the criticism that hurt me - and that in my opinion was unwarranted, yet you yourself were criticized and hurt by the criticism you received. My pastor thought my aunt's comment was totally ignorant and uncalled for. (My husband only died 4 and a half months before she made that comment.)

Not only that, but you're saying that you moved on too soon, yet, you would have me take my aunt's advice and "move on" before I'm ready to, thereby doing the same thing you admit was a mistake for yourself. I don't get that.

My point is that my aunt is ignorant when it comes to understanding feelings... or depression, for that matter. When I told her that I was crying 4-6 times a day for almost 2 weeks (after she asked me - with care in her voice - how I was doing) and that I was worried that I was beginning to become depressed, she said, "Don't get depressed." That's like saying "don't catch a cold". It's not really something you have complete control over.

I am not interested in burying my feelings only to have them come back and sabotage me and my relationships a few years from now. Better to heal now and get it over with for good, instead of running from or hiding the feelings or stuffing them only to have them come back later.

I pray that God would bless you with peace and comfort.

 

[NatalieJan777]

No I said that I hope that you can find it within your heart to forgive the offences of others. Again I am sorry. I was not excusing their offence or even defending them. I was just stating that they love you and are unsure of how to help. I say that because I know from my own experience this to be truth.

I wll pray for your depression I know all too well what it is capable of.

Thank you for your prayers.

 

[FallingWaters]

No I said that I hope that you can find it within your heart to forgive the offences of others. Again I am sorry. I was not excusing their offence or even defending them. I was just stating that they love you and are unsure of how to help. I say that because I know from my own experience this to be truth.

I wll pray for your depression I know all too well what it is capable of.

Thank you for your prayers.

Thank you.
The depression has lifted.
I've been doing much better since Friday.

 

[jfgm]

Hi FW,
I hope you're still feeling a bit better. Today I found this site that looks like it could be a helpful resource. GriefShare: Grief Recovery Support Groups There may be some groups in your area. I found a group that will be starting in January that's about 45 miles from me. If I can't get anything closer or sooner, I may go to it. There's quite a bit of helpful information on the site. You may want to take a look at it. Let me know how you're doing. I'm praying for you.
Your sister in Christ,
Juanita

 

[FallingWaters]

I will check it out, but there's a free group that meets at a Hospice only as few miles away... 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month. It's been helpful.

 

[hwyllie1]

i hope things have gotten a little easier on you . i'm new here. my wife committed suicide last year- feb. 6th 2009. i know what you mean about it getting harder rather then easier. i just wanted to let you know i have prayed for you and will do so again. may God be with you... howard...

 

[FallingWaters]

i hope things have gotten a little easier on you . i'm new here. my wife committed suicide last year- feb. 6th 2009. i know what you mean about it getting harder rather then easier. i just wanted to let you know i have prayed for you and will do so again. may God be with you... howard...

Thank you Howard.
I'm sorry about your wife.
That's very hard to endure.
I hope and pray for God to pour out His grace and mercy on you that you would find your life in Him.

 

[ThinkJesus]

I am praying for those who have lost their spouse.

 

[FallingWaters]

I am praying for those who have lost their spouse.

Thank you! We need it! ~hugs~

 

[sedonarose]

I am praying for you, FallingWaters.

 

[FallingWaters]

I am praying for you, FallingWaters.

Thank you very much.

 

[kbear10_99]

Praying for you. It has been 8 years for me and I still have my moments.