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I've been trying to grow-up because absolutely everyone my age seems more mature, in some ways, than I am, and one of the first things I kicked, or almost kicked, is the silly woe is me attitude that's the biggest legacy of your teenage years. Angst is soooo old...or so young, I guess. There are things to be genuinely unhappy about; there are things in relationships to be genuinely unhappy about, no doubt. I'm not trying to belittle disappointments that seem like real traumas. But part of growing up, sometimes I think the biggest part, is learning how to live your life without reference to what other people think while, and this is KEY, still caring about other people. A seeming contradiction I know, but Christianity is full of seeming contradictions which, on reflection, make a wacky kind of sense. Chesterton was convinced, ultimately, by The Paradoxes of Christianity (one of the greatest chapters in one of the greatest books ever written). Of course, you can easily fix a low self-esteem by going dead inside but I've been there and I don't recommend it.
Preach it, Vicky. That's a valid point you've made there.
Yes, I've seen you cry and complain about it a few times. As have I. No biggie.
Nakor, I don't believe she was trashing you. I think that is a harsh word to use for her comment.
I am sorry that you have gone through things like that with the women in your life. I am sorry to hear all the negative experiences you have had with women. But, I like to point out something if you don't mind. You made a choice to be with that woman. You had a choice to not get back in when you know how much of your life she sucked away. I know it is easy to say this. I say this to women as well when they have abusive boyfriends or husbands. But, I've never been in that position to know what it is truly like so my words might not matter at all. But, now you have that chance to get away from it. You are on that path. Don't be upset about what others say. Your life is in your hands. Always. Take hold of it. I hate seeing people like this. I know that I have gone through many things in my life, and doubted God and why he wasn't there. But He always was. I was just to upset to look at it. I was to hurt to feel Him near me.
I don't like seeing you like this. I hope you feel better!
Sorry but I have to disagree, she was clearing trashing on us...
Here she is assuming we will act this way in front of potential dates. My ex who i was with for 11 years didn't have a clue how I felt untill I told her a few months ago. Assuming we are so weak that we can't hide self doubt is pretty insulting and deserves harsher than "trashing" IMO
Then she continued with...
Sorry, but being cheated on, emotionally and sometimes physically abused from almost every woman you've had contact with past friendship is NOT something you just "suck up" not to mention claiming we aren't men cause we are "whining and crying" over the messed up deal we've been going through is just wrong, it's insulting and judemental and sorry but I will not stand by and let someone say such hurtful things without getting involved.
Yes I made a choice to be with those women, they didn't start out vindictive, most did towards the end of the relationships except my most recent, and by then we were going on 5-6 years of being together, not easy situation to get out of. Also at that point self doubts make it even worse leaving someone, so yeah it was my choice but why does that matter? I'm blaming myself mostly for it, maybe the women some but considering what they've done they do deserve some blame.
Nakor, if my post didn't apply to you, then there's no need for you to be so bent out of shape. Such a reaction suggests that a nerve was hit. That's something between you and God. I honestly was NOT even thinking of you when I made the post. I know some of what's happened with you in recent weeks and months, and I told you what I thought about some of your decisions, and you assured me you knew what you were doing. Don't use me as your personal punching bag because of things that are happening in your offline life, k?
So this person's look (both body and face) happens to be a look that you find very unattractive. The thought of kissing this person and even seeing this person naked does not appeal to you at all. Would you still marry this person?
But what if you were, in fact, blind?
But what if you were, in fact, blind?
I wouldn't... I mean put the shoe on the other foot. I would want my husband to desire me and find me attractive. I wouldn't want to feel as though he "settled" for me when he could have had someone else.
Consider, the original post presupposes the gift of sight.
So this person's look (both body and face) happens to be a look that you find very unattractive. The thought of kissing this person and even seeing this person naked does not appeal to you at all. Would you still marry this person?
You ask your potential partner if you can "read" her face like a page of freshly typed braille. She consents, and it is then that you realize that the proportions are all wrong. Everything is either too big, too small, crooked, or something is missing.But what if you were, in fact, blind?
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