Would you date and marry a person who is not conventionally "handsome" or "pretty?"

[esseJ]

I'm with everyone that said "As long as he/she is attractive to me"...

...how about this...would you go out with someone that didn't think you were attractive?

 

[Heavenlyangeleyes07]

Of course i would date somone that wasnt handsome. To me its not about the looks but aobut the personallity and they have Love for God.

 

[Irascible]

I have as well, and one of my closest male friends is overweight. What else you got up your sleeve? And have you gone on a date with a fat girl?

So are we talking about folks with love handles or are we talking real obesity?

Genuine obesity is unhealthy. It's unbecoming to God's temple. And it's a choice. I'd no more consider an obese woman as a potential mate than I would a smoker. I don't wish to imply condemnation for either. I've been obese for most of my life and understand how extraordinarily hard it is to overcome. But at the same time once saved it's our duty to be good stewards of all that we have, including our bodies.

 

[Niels]

I'm with everyone that said "As long as he/she is attractive to me"...

...how about this...would you go out with someone that didn't think you were attractive?

I'd rather not.

 

[intricatic]

Absolutely not, I'm a shallow narcisist. I'm also a chauvinist.


Okay...maybe that's not even close to being true, but still.

Yes, I would date a girl who was not 'conventionally pretty', but I think that's a highly subjective term in today's society. I find that personality generally trumps looks, but not always. It just depends on the person.

 

[Blank123]

...how about this...would you go out with someone that didn't think you were attractive?

nope. I think that it would actually be very hurtful to me and very confusing to me if a guy I was going out with told me he didn't think I was attractive.

 

[GQ Chris]

I like those women that know they're hot but they don't make a big deal about it nor use it to their advantage and think they can treat any guy however they want just because many men cater to them all the time. It has taken me a while to figure out people and I am a pretty good judge of character so when I meet someone and get to know them, shortly thereafter I can make a quick decision as to whether there's potential for us or not. It's a brutal world out there when it comes to the dating game, and so that's why I am steering clear of conventional dating.

 

[Mnse87]

I really wouldn't go for the looks, sometimes that is what is the most deceiving. A guy might be the most handsome looking but he has the worst personality.

 

[Mnse87]

Absolutely not, I'm a shallow narcisist. I'm also a chauvinist.


Okay...maybe that's not even close to being true, but still.

Yes, I would date a girl who was not 'conventionally pretty', but I think that's a highly subjective term in today's society. I find that personality generally trumps looks, but not always. It just depends on the person.

First time I see you here, hi.

 

[discipleship8]

The short answer to this question is: Yes, I would.

The longer response is: Yes I would if I was attracted to the person and his personality suits me. If i'm going to marry this person their has to be some sort of physical appeal to me. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, its just important what I feel for the person.Bottomline, we have to connect, agree, and there is some sort of mutual attraction there. I can't deny that appearances are not a factor in choosing a future spouse... i don't think anyone truly could.

I think pretty and handsome is a rather subjective thing anyhow (As they already said, "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"). To some people I may be gorgeous but to others i'm average or far from their view of a possible love interest and that's fine with me.

This all sounds great, but i am gonna have to agree with her. It is ultimately your desires. If you are walking in the will of the Lord, he will supply u with his desires for your life that he made for you.

 

[discipleship8]

So are we talking about folks with love handles or are we talking real obesity?

Genuine obesity is unhealthy. It's unbecoming to God's temple. And it's a choice. I'd no more consider an obese woman as a potential mate than I would a smoker. I don't wish to imply condemnation for either. I've been obese for most of my life and understand how extraordinarily hard it is to overcome. But at the same time once saved it's our duty to be good stewards of all that we have, including our bodies.

Amen brother

 

[Blank123]

Genuine obesity is unhealthy. It's unbecoming to God's temple. And it's a choice. I'd no more consider an obese woman as a potential mate than I would a smoker.

Not all people are overweight because of overeating. Genetics and health problems can play a big part in that.

I understand if you're not attracted to certain body types and I'm not trying to pick a fight or debate or anything with you, but please don't write people off because they appear a certain way - you don't know what their story is.

 

[Keri]

Very true.

Also, weight is something that really shouldn't even come up to begin with. It's something that can be lost or gained. Wouldn't it be more important to consider someone's personality instead of how much they "weigh". Our society is obsessed with thin, unhealthy women.

I think being too thin is being a bad steward to your body as well.

I'm overweight, but at the same time, I go to the gym 6 days a week and try to eat healthy, that doesn't mean that just because I "look" fat, that I'm not taking care of my body. You see, appearance isn't everything.

 

[Irascible]

Not all people are overweight because of overeating.

If someone takes in more calories than they need they gain weight. That's overeating. How else can it happen? And who else has control over it? It's our choice. I'm not aware of any infirmity that requires overeating to stay healthy. But if there is, it's a rare exception to the rule.

Now if you want to talk about appetite then I'm right there with you. Medication, illness and even just being raised wrong can completely screw up appetite. That's NOT a choice. I understand completely the overwhelming desire to eat when I know I shouldn't. But appetite is a desire. Appetite doesn't cause obesity. We must choose to not follow our corrupt desires. There is no other way to solve the problem.

It's the same thing with lust, drug addiction, alcoholism, etc. The desires are extraordinarily powerful. But do we let alcoholics and drug addicts off the hook because of their cravings? Nope. We insist they shape up knowing that they'll go through a lot of a pain in the process. If I am to be consistent then I have as much obligation to shed my pounds as a druggy has to shed his addiction.

 

[Irascible]

I'm overweight, but at the same time, I go to the gym 6 days a week and try to eat healthy, that doesn't mean that just because I "look" fat, that I'm not taking care of my body. You see, appearance isn't everything.

Well... here we go. I should have known this would happen. Too many inferences are being made.


I'm not especially concerned with a little extra weight. The fact of the matter is that women tend to carry it a lot better than men. I'll do a little Jimmy Carter on you and tell you a truth: I've had... ahem... "desire" in my heart for plenty of full figured women. What I said was "obese". That is a clinical definition. And it's VERY unhealthy. You can't be healthy and be obese. You CAN be a little overweight and be quite healthy. In fact, one study showed that people who are a little overweight tend to be better lovers than the Twiggies of the world. And let me just say that I'm a little overweight.

But seriously, please don't read anything into my statements. I never said anything about appearance being everything. If it were I'd be in trouble! Nor did I criticize a little extra pudge. I have it myself. But I use to be obese. It was and is wrong to be so unless we are absolutely powerless to do anything about it. I've never met anyone that was powerless in that regard.

 

[Blank123]

If someone takes in more calories than they need they gain weight. That's overeating. How else can it happen?

just to use myself as an example. I am not overweight now but going by my family genetics and the fact that due to health problems I cannot get a lot of excersize I very well could end up overweight. I know other people who are in that boat as well. so yeah its not really fair to blame the person because they look a certain way without knowing the details

 

[~HopeFloats~]

Now that we are on the weight Topic...

So much of ones weight problem can be beyond there control.. the genes.. their meds.. ect!

Fact is in life evetually gravity will effect us all..

 

[Niels]

Fact is in life eventually gravity will effect us all..

If you mean wrinkles and such, then I agree. But if you're talking about weight gain, I don't think it's inevitable. Neither of my parents nor either set of grandparents had weight problems in old age. I also see a lot of thin elderly folks walking (or shuffling, rolling etc.) around.

 

[unameduser]

Im not reading pages 2-5 b/c im too lazy. But I would have to disagree to the masses on page one. I love all people reguardless of wieght, looks, ect. However when it comes to finding the right mate, looks and personality go hand in hand. I may like a girl that is "ugly" but has love of christ and personality, but sin is knocking at the door on this one. I would personally be more likely to cheat on someone who does not have the best physical appearance. Yes they need loving too, but both parteners must be a match in appearance AND mind. For every one type of guy, there is that same type of girl. But thats just my genes.

 

[intricatic]

First time I see you here, hi.

First time I've been single since I've been on CF.
Hi!