Would you date a Christian that doesn't go to church?

[DawnStar]

Yeah, I've heard of people...even in the singles ministries...they found people there to be a bit socially awkward, which is a turn off to some...esp. the women (if it's men approaching them). Options are limited in church.

This is very true. But I have seen socially awkward people both in and out of church. I also see other Christians on this forum and in real life who do not go to church that I want nothing to do with. I think some Christians have such an extreme view of things or view themselves as so much holier and above other Christians that they would not be accepted in any church or any other kind of social gathering. Of course they view the non acceptance as persecution instead of admitting to themselves that it is their personality and arrogance that is turning people away. All this to say that going to church or not going to church does not matter to me.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

There's something to be said about regularly attending church with other believers. We had churches in Christ's time and we have churches still today. We have churches for a reason, folks. No, I don't think whether you physically attend a church service or not dictates if you're a Christian, but I do believe professing Christians should attend church as regularly as they can. It's good for us.

To answer the OP: I think it depends on why he doesn't attend church. Is it a temporary situation because he's new to the area and hasn't found a church yet? Maybe he's just in-between churches at the moment due to some issue that he had with his old church. This can be a bit of an issue in itself as well, but as someone who has left a church before because of certain problems I had with the church, I am open minded to this reason.

If he's just decided he no longer cares to attend church and finds it unimportant, then yeah, I would have a problem with that and would steer clear of any romantic entanglement with the person.

 

[Applekrate]

There's something to be said about regularly attending church with other believers. We had churches in Christ's time and we have churches still today. We have churches for a reason, folks. No, I don't think whether you physically attend a church service or not dictates if you're a Christian, but I do believe professing Christians should attend church as regularly as they can. It's good for us.

To answer the OP: I think it depends on why he doesn't attend church. Is it a temporary situation because he's new to the area and hasn't found a church yet? Maybe he's just in-between churches at the moment due to some issue that he had with his old church. This can be a bit of an issue in itself as well, but as someone who has left a church before because of certain problems I had with the church, I am open minded to this reason.

If he's just decided he no longer cares to attend church and finds it unimportant, then yeah, I would have a problem with that and would steer clear of any romantic entanglement with the person.

IMO- this is a very solid/proper response from a real follower of Christ on this subject.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Funny thing is, I know of a church going woman that is the organist. When I asked her this question...she said it didn't whether he attended church or not as long as he believed in God...that's all that mattered.

I think this was due in part of an actual active church-going ex-husband that cheated on her (among other things) in her first marriage.

It was her poor marital experience that allowed her to be flexible in that department, and it makes perfect sense.

 

[Rigatoni]

To a certain extent, I can understand if a woman wouldn't date a fellow Christian, just because he doesn't attend church. But, I guess it would all depend on specifically why he doesn't attend church. As long as he still stays in God's word, has an active relationship with the Lord and has some method of worship / fellowship with other believers (even online), I don't see why that would be an issue.

 

[Sketcher]

It depends on why. If she is open to regularly attending church again, yes.

 

[Applekrate]

Funny thing is, I know of a church going woman that is the organist. When I asked her this question...she said it didn't whether he attended church or not as long as he believed in God...that's all that mattered.

I think this was due in part of an actual active church-going ex-husband that cheated on her (among other things) in her first marriage.

It was her poor marital experience that allowed her to be flexible in that department, and it makes perfect sense.

If your assumptions are correct, they are not proper. A Godly woman desires a man to lead the family and belonging to a church is very important. We all sin ( Rom 3:23), that is not a reason not to attend church. Churchs are in decline because of attitudes of people like her. another reason why Christianity is in decline. We all need to attend and belong/commit to our local church. It is important. As with you and I, no church or person is perfect. We all fall short and that is not a valid reason not to belong.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

People can still have their faith...because one doesn't need to enter a structure or building to profess it.

but they are commanded to meet at the designated place of meeting with the other saints, barring extreme circumstances.

the place of meeting being a building, someone's house, or out in the woods is besides the point.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

But, I guess it would all depend on specifically why he doesn't attend church.

So there is good reason that someone could not attend church, no matter how personal the reason may be?

Also, why attend church, when you can say your prayers at home, yes?

 

[Applekrate]

So there is good reason that someone could not attend church, no matter how personal the reason may be?

Also, why attend church, when you can say your prayers at home, yes?

my friend, if the above question is what you asked, you must not know Holy Scripture well. I kindly and lovingly suggest you spend more time in the word and with other believers. Of course, a big part of that is- attending church, Bible studies, etc. As an earlier post clarifies,as Christians ( followers of Christ ), we are called to attend. From the other side of things- Why not attend and support a church? do you want less churches? or do you just them for 'other' people? if so, you are wrong. I kindly suggest you spend more time in the Word.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

If your assumptions are correct, they are not proper. A Godly woman desires a man to lead the family and belonging to a church is very important. We all sin ( Rom 3:23), that is not a reason not to attend church. Churchs are in decline because of attitudes of people like her. another reason why Christianity is in decline. We all need to attend and belong/commit to our local church. It is important. As with you and I, no church or person is perfect. We all fall short and that is not a valid reason not to belong.

They aren't assumptions...she told me herself. Her priorities in a future partner has shifted...if the new prospective guy in her life doesn't attend church (but she does), it doesn't matter to her as long as he's a good guy and compatible. Belief in God is all that she asks for in a partner. It'd be a bonus if he did attend church, but no big thing to her.

 

[quietpraiyze]

This recent thread about Christians dating/marrying non-Christians spun off into men attending church, although they are Christian, less than women. Statistically it was shown that women attend church than men.

That said, and this is a question geared towards more women than men (due to obvious reasons), as a woman...would you date a Christian that doesn't attend church...even though you do?

Men...would you do the same...would you care if your future Christian spouse wasn't a chruch-goer?

A friend of mine, says he's a Christian, but you get the same response, "You don't need to a building to go into to be Christian."

And...I bet there are tons of men and women that honestly believe this.

Sure...As a born again believer in Jesus Christ who is a woman, I am not impressed with a man because he says he “goes to church”. A person who says they “go to church” doesn't mean anything to me at all. It doesn't mean that you're born again let alone fellowshipping. It's amazing the assumptions people make about “going to church” or not. People need to stop projecting. I don't “go to church” and I make no apologies for that and it's not up for debate. For me I need to see the fruit of Christ in the man's everyday life. His words and actions need to match and that there should be consistency over time. Also there are plenty of people who have been deceived by someone who said they “go to church” only to marry and find out the person never had a relationship with Christ to begin with. The person was just religious but not born again. Some people have “churchianity” and not Salvation. So for me “going to church” isn't the litmus test concerning as to whether or not a man is dating/marriage material. For me knowing and observing that he has a healthy relationship with Christ and others is and “going to church” is not the best indicator of that IMO.

 

[jovanovic]

if one would refuse to gather with the saints I would question their profession of faith.

or maybe....
social anxiety or already have enough fellowship with christians either in personal friends, in family or on internet or they can not find a good church in their area.

 

[Rigatoni]

So there is good reason that someone could not attend church, no matter how personal the reason may be?

Also, why attend church, when you can say your prayers at home, yes?

Sure, there could be a variety of reasons. However, it is still important to have some method of fellowship with other believers where possible (Hebrews 10:24-25, Proverbs 27:17). If someone finds a biblically-sound church close by and purposely doesn't attend, then yeah wouldn't be a good sign. But, if there's no churches in their area with sound doctrine, or they've had bad experiences with them in the past, etc., that would be different.

I just think it shouldn't be that black and white; going to church doesn't automatically make someone a genuine Christian. But at the same time, there are some things that are expected from a born again believer. I think it's important to establish what the purpose of a church is, i.e. hearing the word of God, fellowship and accountability with other believers, and worshiping God. If a believer isn't attending church, they should be finding some way to supplement that.

 

[timewerx]

if one would refuse to gather with the saints I would question their profession of faith.

There's only 144,000 saints that ever lived on Earth against 7.7 billion (in one estimate) professed Christians around the world.

You only actually have 1 / 53,472 chances of meeting a saint among all the Christians you know.

In USA, the average size of a church is 184 members. So the chance of meeting a saint in any church in USA is 1 / 290 or 0.34%

Most Christians don't even get to fellowship with a saint even if they go to church.

If you want to fellowship with a saint, do it in Spirit and in Truth.
.
.

 

[timewerx]

Personally, I would probably date a Christian that doesn't go to church....

If you look at the Bible very deeply, keeping a regular attendance in the church isn't a requirement.

And if you look at the Bible deeply enough, you will realize it's more of a test. Not every word in there, you should take for literally.

It's a big problem these days most Christians don't question teachings and doctrines anymore even at the possibility it could have been corrupted by the ignorance of the culture of that period.. They take things at facevalue and believe so easily. Jesus said, only *few* will find the way and this means, most will be making a huge mistake.

 

[redblue22]

If I lived somewhere that I wouldn't attend church, I would think twice about dating someone who did attend church in my area. I wouldn't want to attend a church that was abusive and she fit right in.

 

[Citanul]

Since I would be prepared to date a non-Christian (although that's a topic for a different thread), I would be willing to date a Christian who doesn't attend church. I would want to know why though as it is unusual for someone to claim to be a Christian but not go to church, so the reasons why they aren't could be reasons why I wouldn't want to get involved with them.

 

[quietpraiyze]

Since I would be prepared to date a non-Christian (although that's a topic for a different thread), I would be willing to date a Christian who doesn't attend church. I would want to know why though as it is unusual for someone to claim to be a Christian but not go to church, so the reasons why they aren't could be reasons why I wouldn't want to get involved with them.

It's not as unusual as you think. It's just that we already know we're being judged and unfortunately that's the norm...

 

[redblue22]

There is a difference between a person who just doesn't go to church versus someone who is unwilling and unfriendly when she knows it is important to me. Church plays a pretty important role in my life.