Would like something answered

[recoveringcatalina]

firstly, don't get too hung up on joining a denomination. Chirstian fellowship is vital, but each and every denomination that i've ever looked into thinks that they are it, they are the perfection of God's people. this is not so. Jesus is not catholic, baptist, lutherin, republican or democate for that matter. He's God. God is on God's side.

concerning the issues that you are struggling with...:

you need to pray to Jesus this: Lord, i give up my problems and fears because i cannot handle them. Lord, I crusify my whole self to you. i don't even know how, but i have faith that You can do all things.

and Jesus will begin a change in your soul through his work in your spirit.

but you must want to give up your problems...

and therefore, when you pray this you "must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. that man should not think that he will receive anything from the Lord. He is a DOUBLE-MINDED man, unstable in all he does." James 1.

Christ says to pick up your cross and die daily. i've just figured this out the last month. and i've been a christian for 15 years. i'll tell you one thing though. it has changed my life and my walk with the Lord, which before i began praying this was no walk at all.

if you want to see some really cool stuff happen. start praying that GOd will use you was his tool for his glory. He will. He keeps his promises.

 

[recoveringcatalina]

only God knows the hearts of men. if something is out of your control, i.e. OCD, then it is not your heart or your spirit (which is what's connected with God), but it is your soul and flesh, which are the constantly sinful until you go to heaven.

plus you cannot commit the unforgivable sin if you are not a Christian. if a turtle is not a cow, you cannot blame it for refusing to give its master milk.

 

[recoveringcatalina]

i agree with sistakrista though, the drawing of an upsidedown cross being wrong is Obsessive Compulsive behavior for whoever told you this. no man can say "God be cursed." if he is led by His Spirit. and no man can cay "God be praised." except by His Spirit. God knows what's in your heart. and He is doing a work in your spirit, which was once dead and is now alive in Christ.