Would Like A Woman's Perspective

[Mr. Runningfish]

I'd rather not put all this out here, but I'm SO confused and I don't have any single female friends that I could turn to for their thoughts.

I've had a crush on a co-worker, which has turned into a pretty good friendship. Sometimes the friendship seems like it's more than a friendship. She'll grab my hand and hold it, or look at me with this I'm staring deep into you stare. Sometimes her hugs are long lasting and she doesn't want to let go.

I've known her for less than three months. Many people (co-workers, friends) think we are dating, which we both insist we are not. We just hang out. Practically everyday after work.

Then, there are times when the hug is a brief, pat on the back. She'll make fun of me if our hands accidentally brush, or she'll appear as if I'm not around her.

I wouldn't mind dating her. We've NEVER talked about feelings/emotions/the holding hands/ and the kiss (we kissed for the first time a couple days ago). The kiss was probably a factor of a few drinks we had, so I don't think it plays much into it, but I just don't have a clue.

I have the hardest time reading her in this area of our friendship. Other than that, for the most part I get her and she gets me. Sometimes she appears to be heavily interested. Other times no interest. I'm pretty much confused. So confused it makes me wish I only had friend feelings and didn't want anything more.

I pray and pray and pray again about this. I pray for God's will and I'll be satisfied with whatever that is. But I don't like this confused state I'm currently in.

Any women able to give some possibility or insight here? I guess I should just sit down and tell her how confused I am? That'd be the easiest, right?

 

[Bumble Bee]

Talk to her.

 

[Marycita]

If you want to date her, talk to her about that.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

Don't listen to these ladies... what you need is a club bonk her on the head and take her back to your cave (you have a cave right?).

 

[Lissa <3]

You should definitely talk to her about this. It sounds like she is interested in you.

 

[William II]

Don't listen to these ladies... what you need is a club bonk her on the head and take her back to your cave (you have a cave right?).

I think this is the proper course of action.

 

[Owlette]

.

 

[leothelioness]

Just ask her out. That's the only way you'll know.

 

[Blank123]

I'm just going to echo every other woman here. If you're interested, and you suspect she is also interest, talk to her. Decide from there what course your relationship should take.

 

[Socktastic]

Don't listen to these ladies... what you need is a club bonk her on the head and take her back to your cave (you have a cave right?).

Concussion is always the best way to start a relationship.



I think you know what you need to do, it's right there in your original post: I guess I should just sit down and tell her how confused I am? That'd be the easiest, right?

It should clear up what's going on, whilst I think it sounds like you're both confused and unwilling to make the first official move you won't know until you actually inform her of where you are and the fact you need to know where she is in relation to the great elephant in the room that is your interested status.

 

[chuck77]

Would Like A Woman's Perspective

Now why in the world would you want that?

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

Do you know anything about her past relationships? Perhaps she's scared of getting hurt because of something that happened to her in the past? Maybe she's just trying to NOT get too involved so soon? Girls tend to get more emotionally involved than guys. It's a curse I tell you.

Ask her out for a weekend date instead of an after work date. Get tickets to a concert or something you would both enjoy and ask her out for something specific. Go from there.

Would love to hear updates. ;-)

 

[Mr. Runningfish]

Her past is full of just as much hurt as mine. I'm terrified of this. She's the first person in a long tie I'm romantically attracted to (or just plain old attracted to). It was easier not having romantic feelings for anyone. Because of this "fear" I sometimes think it would be better if I only had "friend" feelings. I know she wants to take it slow. She's never told me, but she's told a co-worker who has told me.

I doubt I'll get the courage to say anything in the next couple days. But I'll do what I always do, pray about it.

Thanks for making it clear, to just ask her. It really solidified what I had already thought. ChaseThisLight - that is exactly what my intuition is telling me. She's just a friendly person. One of the things that attracted me to her.

 

[cloudstrife007]

Sounds like you're in a bit of a situation.
A lot of people are saying just TALK TO HER but just realise that once you initiate that conversation, things WILL change. So be prepared for this.
If she is just an overly nice person and didn't actually have any feelings for you, then the situation between you and her has just become different. It's not necessarily weird/awkward, but it will definitely be different. She may withhold from being as friendly to you in case you interpret the wrong signals again. It's not because she wants to, but it can just be natural human reaction to hold back after something happened.
But then again, she may have interest in you and waiting for something to be initiated.

Whatever action you take, be loving. Pray always. And throughout and after the whole process, keep trusting God.

 

[Mr. Runningfish]

It's been a weird month. We started sharing a "journal", which seems weird for two grown adults to do. I just told her how I felt. I'm giving her time reflect. We'll see how it is tomorrow at work.

>.<

 

[Owlette]

It's been a weird month. We started sharing a "journal", which seems weird for two grown adults to do. I just told her how I felt. I'm giving her time reflect. We'll see how it is tomorrow at work.

>.<

That's cool! Hope it goes well.

 

[Stealth001]

How are things going?

 

[trentlogain2]

A worried man with a worried mind
No one in front of me and nothing behind
There's a woman on my lap and she's drinking champagne
Got white skin, got assassin's eyes
I'm looking up into the sapphire tinted skies
I'm well dressed, waiting on the last train

[Bridge #1:]
Standing on the gallows with my head in a noose
Any minute now I'm expecting all hell to break loose

[Chorus]
People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed

This place ain't doing me any good
I'm in the wrong town, I should be in Hollywood
Just for a second there I thought I saw something move
Gonna take dancing lessons do the jitterbug rag
Ain't no shortcuts, gonna dress in drag
Only a fool in here would think he's got anything to prove

[Bridge #2]
Lot of water under the bridge, Lot of other stuff too
Don't get up gentlemen, I'm only passing through

[chorus]

I've been walking forty miles of bad road
If the bible is right, the world will explode
I've been trying to get as far away from myself as I can
Some things are too hot to touch
The human mind can only stand so much
You can't win with a losing hand

[Bridge #3]
Feel like falling in love with the first woman I meet
Putting her in a wheel barrow and wheeling her down the street

[chorus]

I hurt easy, I just don't show it
You can hurt someone and not even know it
The next sixty seconds could be like an eternity
Gonna get low down, gonna fly high
All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie
I'm love with a woman who don't even appeal to me

[Bridge #4]
Mr. Jinx and Miss Lucy, they jumped in the lake
I'm not that eager to make a mistake

[chorus]

 

[Mr. Runningfish]

She wrote in the journal, but didn't really hang out with me today. Made no mention of what I told her. >.<

 

[blackribbon]

She isn't interested in moving to the next level at this point.

She probably wants to continue the friendship as it was. If you do too, pretend like you didn't say what you said and act the way you used to...and let the awkwardness go away naturally. If you want to say something...then tell her you are okay with this, but tell her to let you know if she ever wants to go on a "real date" versus a "friend date"...and leave it at that.

This does not mean that it will never go to the next level...but the ball is now in her court.

There are so many things that could be going on here. Don't read too much into it. If she is really a good friend, she will eventually be able to explain what all happened. It maybe that she is interested but there are extraneous things in her life that make it not a good time. And she may just be a good friend and that is all it ever will be.