Would a Christian man date an ex-prostitute.

Luther073082 · Apr 12, 2007

overit said:
Luther, that is a great and honest post. It does oh so much boil down to jealousy, insecurity and ego. And not IST, God's jealousy is NOT the same as our human ego/jelousy. Not to be compared!

I also like 1 Corinthians 13.

Everyone is in their right not to date whomever they don't like or not attracted to or traits they want to avoid also so I understand that.

For example, I would never date a man that was in the past abusive, reformed, transformed or not, not because of my ego or jealousy though (which are self-serving) but becaues of protection of myself and children which is actually smart. There's a difference between making decision on who to date based on preferences, what's best for us, what protects us and what is self-serving I guess or plainly because of our own pride/ego/judgement. I do agree that a man that DOES have issues w/a woman having had men in her past (prostitution or just lots of guys period) is better off for HER sake not to date her as he would continuosly be a thorn in her side and would possibly bring her down by being bothered by this. This is not conducive to her new walk and person.

I'm sure God would provide a man that is secure, loving, accepting and confident that he loved her with past and all and would build her walk rather then not be able to get past it. I firmly believe that those that have issues w/their dates having had a sexual past (even the virgin/non virgin debate) are best keeping to those likeminded, otherwise it would be so unfair for the forgiven party to be judged and made to feel less then becaues of hangups their date has about the past God forgave them of.

Yes but I also recognize that I can't beat up on someone who just couldn't do it. Someone marrying a former prostitute like that who has had no past of their own is asking them to lose more ego, more jealousy, and deal with more fears in one move then most people will ever be called to humble themselves to in a lifetime.

Men naturally in long term partners value the purity of a woman more then I think women value the purity of a man.

I mean I myself am not sure if I could do it because of who I am. I recognize that its mostly my problem and not hers that would cause the issue but its not like I can say that I would not have problems in it. Pretty much all of it for me would revolve around intimacy issues.

So I guess my conclusion to this is that you can't blame a guy who just couldn't do it or look down on him. I could go through and name about 10 different things that would be going through my mind that I would have to deal with that most people going into a normal relationship just don't have to consider or worry about. But I think any guy should recognize that it really is more them then the woman they are looking at being with.

But I also belive that Love can do a lot of things and you can't control who you love. So its love that makes me think that I could work my way through those issues. And this is why I admire anybody who can do these things.

overit · Apr 12, 2007

Oh I agree Luther, and nobody is asking him or anyone to go past what they can possibly handle in a relationship. Of COURSE not, ego or not, if he knows he can't handle it then he shouldn't for his benefit and hers. He's being honest about it, that's fine. I'm not looking "down" at him.

This is why I stated that I believe that people that KNOW they have these issues they couldn't get over SHOULD in best interest of everyone, stick to dates/partners that are like minded.

Spicy McHaggis · Apr 12, 2007

I know what the right answer is but I have no idea what I'd do in this situation.

Luther073082 · Apr 12, 2007

iklepac13 said:
I know what the right answer is but I have no idea what I'd do in this situation.

Neither do I man I think we can't say unless we where in the situation ourselves.

IseekTheTruth · Apr 12, 2007

It's not a matter of can't handle. It's a matter of me exercising my God-given free will.

LittleladyinChrist · Apr 12, 2007

IseekTheTruth said:
It's not a matter of can't handle. It's a matter of me exercising my God-given free will.

lol, you seem a bit cranky, either that or insecure. The only thing that has bothered me about your posts is that you refer to a born-again ex prostitute as "those people" when you had refered to "avoid(ing) people like that if I can." as well as calling this person a prostitute in the present tense. I fear that you really arnt as forgiving as Jesus would be, whether your reality is different then your theories, we are to practice what we preach. Although your rational is right, we do have consequences for our sins everyone of us, and of coarse a ex-prostitute will have a lot more healing to do, then say a "good" person, like yourself. Praise God, he is a God of restoration. Jehovah - Rapha - The Lord that Healeth thee. To be honest with you, people who have been forgiven much loveth much, alot more then some of the "good" Christians Ive met.

IseekTheTruth · Apr 12, 2007

LittleladyinChrist said:
lol, you seem a bit cranky, either that or insecure. The only thing that has bothered me about your posts is that you refer to a born-again ex prostitute as "those people" when you had refered to "avoid(ing) people like that if I can." as well as calling this person a prostitute in the present tense. I fear that you really arnt as forgiving as Jesus would be, whether your reality is different then your theories, we are to practice what we preach. Although your rational is right, we do have consequences for our sins everyone of us, and of coarse a ex-prostitute will have a lot more healing to do, then say a "good" person, like yourself. Praise God, he is a God of restoration. Jehovah - Rapha - The Lord that Healeth thee. To be honest with you, people who have been forgiven much loveth much, alot more then some of the "good" Christians Ive met.

"Matter of fact" is the phrase.

It is true, I am not as merciful as I should be sometimes. However, that is my weakness, not my strength, just as my strengths are others' weaknesses.

The general assumption here is that it is wrong to avoid repentant ex-prostitutes. This is a faulty assumption. There is no Biblical basis for the idea that we must consider any and all people when dating. If anyone here feels there is, please, present it now.

God gives us free will to choose. I choose not to date ex-prostitutes, regardless of their current condition. It is no more wrong than someone else choosing not to date me because they don't want someone who likes the outdoors.

LittleladyinChrist · Apr 12, 2007

You like the outdoors lol

Anyway,

I think your right. Its your choice, it doesnt make you shallow, or fleshy. You just want a neat and tidy life with no extra problems, you dont have to have. Its like going to Burger King, and having it your way. Maybe your unmercifullness is what throws people off from thinking that you are actually making a decision that is yours to make, and not just dealing out of carnality.

IseekTheTruth · Apr 12, 2007

LittleladyinChrist said:
You like the outdoors lol

Anyway,

I think your right. Its your choice, it doesnt make you shallow, or fleshy. You just want a neat and tidy life with no extra problems, you dont have to have. Its like going to Burger King, and having it your way. Maybe your unmercifullness is what throws people off from thinking that you are actually making a decision that is yours to make, and not just dealing out of carnality.

I'm not cold in real life, but on forums, I find it's better to just get straight to the point instead of beating around the bush... The more you say, the more people tend to get the wrong idea... At least, on here.

Marriage is incredibly hard as it is, too choose to marry someone with all of that baggage only makes things significantly complicated. It is a personal choice, perhaps not the wisest choice, but if someone falls in love with an ex-prostitute turned Christian, then more power to them!

Gardener101 · Apr 12, 2007

In post #147 Iseekthetruth wrote:

God gives us free will to choose. I choose not to date ex-prostitutes, regardless of their current condition. It is no more wrong than someone else choosing not to date me because they don't want someone who likes the outdoors.

OR

An ex paedophile who raped his own toddler daughter and put pictures of it up on the internet for sale (now repented, washed clean and forgiven by God)
A reformed rapist who mutilated his victims (now a pastor)
A former drunk and druggie who stole money from his own children to feed his addictions and is now widowed because his drinking caused his wife to commit suicide, but now he has repented and is looking for a new wife
Or someone who used to catch and kill kittens, cats, dogs and puppies for fun, but has now seen the error of their ways and walks closely with the Holy Spirit
A born again murderer who shot at point blank his ex-girlfriend when she refused to have an abortion so he would not have to pay child support.
A small-time petty thief who mostly stole sweets and biscuits from shops but has now repented
A woman who disguised her email address so she could bypass a dating websites filtering process and thereby get something for nothing, when she is not a paid member (sin is sin, eh?)
A former joyrider who never actually damaged any of the cars stolen but obviously displaced them, and is now a born again Christian who works as an usher in the church.
An ex graffiti 'artist' whose paintings caused thousands of dollars worth of damage to historical buildings, although she is now a very commited Christian who leads Sunday Bible Studies.
An office worker who used to pinch paperclips, pens, some printer paper and even an old calculator, but has now repented of all his sins. (sin is sin, right? )
A rampant arsonist whose fires caused millions of dollars both in loss of business and increased insurance premiums, but is now a devout Christian looking for the woman of his dreams
A former porn star who used to perform acts of bestiality with dogs and horses, but found the Lord and is now a hardworking Christian desperate to find the man of her dreams who is willing to accept her background, which she can't hide cus her porn videos continue to be circulated on the internet.
A reformed born again former drug dealer
A wrinkly old former perv (now born again) who used to wear a trench coat and flash his naked bits at the shy young women at the local convent.
A young lady under the age of 21 who (when in America) continues to drink alcohol and gives a non-chalant response when confronted about her sin, yet insists that she is a Christian.
(True story) A pastor of a huge, huge church who (despite being married at that time) lured women as young as 18 to engage in sex and other sex acts with him (some of them were blackmailed by him and some were given expensive gifts like cars to 'silence' them) and then when caught and sentenced to prison, comes clean (after denying his actions forever) and seems to geniunely repent. Comes out of prison and starts up a brand new church, with him as the pastor, of course

The list basically goes on.

My point?

What I am saying is that Iseekthetruth has a valid point and people should consider it and not try to make him feel that he is somehow 'flawed' or 'in the wrong' for holding his views or preferences. Basically this:

It is no more wrong than someone else choosing not to date me because they don't want someone who likes the outdoors

Luther073082 · Apr 12, 2007

IseekTheTruth said:
The general assumption here is that it is wrong to avoid repentant ex-prostitutes. This is a faulty assumption. There is no Biblical basis for the idea that we must consider any and all people when dating. If anyone here feels there is, please, present it now.

God gives us free will to choose. I choose not to date ex-prostitutes, regardless of their current condition. It is no more wrong than someone else choosing not to date me because they don't want someone who likes the outdoors.

I think it is wrong to avoid repentant ex sinners. Look I can't blame you for your choice but I don't think its ok for you to be proud of it.

Being a 24 year old virgin and knowing the sacrifice of celibacy, I can tell you that I would be proud of myself to be able to do that and work through all those issues. I would be proud because it says that this man has truely looked beyond someone's past and forgiven it. That this man value's love to such an extent that he would be with someone with a history that would scare off most men no matter if they are christian or not. My parents may not be proud of me, and some of my friends may not be proud of me, BUT God would be and so would I.

Ultimatly God loves her just as much as he does me? I've committed worse sins then being a prostitute. When I was 13 I not only rejected God but I mocked his word so realistically I think God should love her more then me. But that is not true because God's love is unwarranted. The bible says we should love our wives like Christ loved the church and honestly how much more could a man live out that aspect of the gospel then by taking a wife who has sinned against him so many times in her fornication?

In the end you and I may do the same things. But I'm ashamed that I might try to stay away from her because of her past. And I would be very proud if I could forgive it.

LittleladyinChrist · Apr 12, 2007

OoOoOoOo *desert whistle...

IseekTheTruth · Apr 12, 2007

There is no pride in my posts, and it is not wrong.

LittleladyinChrist · Apr 12, 2007

*cough

TwistTim · Apr 12, 2007

IseekTheTruth said:
There is no pride in my posts, and it is not wrong.

I see, so you taking the time to explain their's no pride in your posts is not because your proud about the lack of pride is it?

You feel the way you do because that's how you feel. Own up to your feelings and be the man you are.

If you will only date a virgin that's fine, the OP was just would any Christian date a ex-prostitute(repentant of her sins, and having stopped doing that).... and at least one of us virgins would(that would be me, the 26 year old virgin) if I felt I loved her and she was worth breaking my years of singlehood over....

If you don't want to fine, but we're not asking you to... we're only asking if you would, you said you wouldn't.... ok, moving along.... next guy please answer....

IseekTheTruth · Apr 12, 2007

TwistTim said:
I see, so you taking the time to explain their's no pride in your posts is not because your proud about the lack of pride is it?

You feel the way you do because that's how you feel. Own up to your feelings and be the man you are.

If you will only date a virgin that's fine, the OP was just would any Christian date a ex-prostitute(repentant of her sins, and having stopped doing that).... and at least one of us virgins would(that would be me, the 26 year old virgin) if I felt I loved her and she was worth breaking my years of singlehood over....

If you don't want to fine, but we're not asking you to... we're only asking if you would, you said you wouldn't.... ok, moving along.... next guy please answer....

I'm incredibly proud of my immense humility.

indra_fanatic · Apr 13, 2007

I (almost) certainly would not be able to do so. I am not saying there's necessarily a good reason not to, or that repentance is not 100%, but the simple truth is that the pandering lifestyle is horribly hard on the human body. There's just no way to live as a prostitute and not pick up at least one, if not more, permanent sexually transmitted diseases. I just don't think I could take that on.

infaile · Apr 13, 2007

LittleladyinChrist said:
What if the Lord has saved a woman who used to be an escort, and he cleaned her up and now she is a Christian woman who loves the Lord and follows hard on Him. Could a Chrisitan man ever see that she is a brand new creature? Just wondering. Thanks.

Too little time to read all the posts in this thread (just read the first page) so sorry if I'm repeating someone here, but:

Surely it would depend on the man? Some Christian men would struggle with that problem. Some would not. It depends on the man, and how close he is to his Creator.

I think the point is not to set down a black and white rule (i.e. "No Christian man may date an ex-prostitute even if she has been saved" or anything similar), or even to debate who the woman is and precisely what she's done in the past - but to bring back this issue to the One who is the ultimate Arbiter.

What does GOD say to the man in question? Is this His will? If so, then obviously, the man should obey. He may still struggle with it - I can't imagine it was easy for Hosea, even though he knew the Lord's will and tried to obey it - but God looks at the heart, at the WILL to obey. And the man, if he is truly God-fearing, will learn the lessons God has in store for him with the relationship in question.

Obedience to the Lord is appropriately rewarded.

Gilbertgrape · Apr 13, 2007

It's people like LittleladyinChrist that I want to hear preaching from the pulpit.

simmeringabsolute · Apr 13, 2007

I guess I'll add my two cents.

No, I would not date a Christian woman who while as an unbeliever was a prostitute. Why? Because when a person falls into such things when there is no fear of heavenly judgment, that is a demonstration of her innate person. I would prefer a woman who by nature does the things written in the law, who although without the law was a law to herself, showing it written in her heart, whose conscience bears witness. Romans 2:14-15. All may be wiped clean, but all do not become the same. What happens if she backslides? What happens if she just becomes extremely desperate for cash?

Would a Christian man date an ex-prostitute.

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