Worst senario possible...

[laura_killian]

Hey everybody...I have a problem with my boyfriend... well technically it's not a problem with him! So here'e the deal...we have been dating for a year now, and about a month or two ago, we decided that we wanted to have sex... we are both strong Christians, but we are madly in love and for some reason, just like many others, we decided we weren't going to wait, and so we did it. We did it once technically, and kinda of did twice. But on one of the times we only sort of did it...I had this feeling inside me before we did it that I really shouldnt. But I didnt speak up, which is really weird of me b/c usually I speak up really well and would say, NO. but I didnt...and I almost cried that night b/c I really felt like it was a bad choice, even though the other two times I felt fine and just wanted to be close to him...the porblem is, that now I think Im pregnant. I havent 'missed' anything yet, but its around that time and nothing has happened. I'm late so far. But I'm only 17. Grade 11. I have got enough credits that with a summer school and one coorospondence course I won't have to go to grade 12, but still...I am too young! What do I do? I have only told my best friend about it, and she said not to tell my boyfriends until I have taken a test...and I think I am going to this weekend, but I am so scared for the results. I just know that I'm pregnant, I can feel it. I have preayed so much about it and cried and read up on things and just been wathcing how I eat and monitering my body to see if i'm going through any cahnges, but so far not a whole lot is noticable, but its only been two months so I don't think it would have...Im so scared, I know that God is with me and will be the whole time, but when the baby is born (if I acually am pregnant) I would never give it up, and me adn my boyfriend would be out of highschool. But still, we can't get married at 17 and 18 years old....we would have to wait another year at least or two. We know that God has put us together, and so does everybody else. We are supposed to be together, but I don't think God wanted us to start our family this early. What should we do? I can be done school and he will be, and with a baby bonus I can stay at home and get enough money to support us hopefully....what do I do...I need help, if anybody out there will pray for me do it, or has any adivice please give it....I need everything....I love my boyfriend so much and he would never leave me, I know he wouldnt. But still it's going to be hard...Im too young....and it was my first time practically...I feel so upset b/c alot of girls I know who go have sex witha different person every weekend and dont use anythign never get pregnant, but when I go for the first time I do....and since then we havent had it, we decided that we are too young and need to wait...but what do I do...help please

 

[sculpturegirl]

Peace with you!

First, repent before God! And don't sleep with him again. Secondly, please have a test so you know for sure.

It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and are emotionally prepared to deal with whatever comes. Even in our mistakes and misteps, God is with us.

Many blessings to you.

 

[lisarn]

I just want you to know I will be praying for you. I know it must be very hard waiting for an answer but whatever happens, God will give you the strength. I am glad that if you are pregnant, you would want to do the right thing by keeping the baby. I admire girls I have known who were strong enough to face the consequences of choices made. I do hope you will find that you are not pregnant. God may be using this as a lesson that waiting til marriage is really best.

When was the first day of your last period? Are you actually late? Sometimes just being worried about being pregnant will delay it. Let us know how things go.

 

[Singin4Him]

I agree with sculpturegirl, if you truly are a strong Christian woman you should know that premarital sex is wrong no matter how much you love the other person and therefore you should first repent. Along with that if you truly do love this guy you will not sleep together again until marriage. You two are just dating, you're not engaged so there is no promise of forever there. When the two of you sleep together you may be sleeping with someone elses future husband. Would you want your future husband doing the same? If you think you are pregnant you really need to take a test to be sure and I would also strongly encouagre you to tell you parents or at least an adult you are close to. You really need someone there to support you and give you some counsel through this time.

I just want you to know I will be praying for you. I know it must be very hard waiting for an answer but whatever happens, God will give you the strength. I am glad that if you are pregnant, you would want to do the right thing by keeping the baby. I admire girls I have known who were strong enough to face the consequences of choices made. I do hope you will find that you are not pregnant. God may be using this as a lesson that waiting til marriage is really best.

I'm sorry but I have to disagree with you here. I do not agree that keeping a baby when the parents are young and not married is "the right thing to do." There are many married Christian couples out there dying to adopt a child into their family and I strongly believe that is a better option. Unless the couple was going to be married within the next year I would strongly advise a 17yr old teen to consider adoption. There are many 20+ yr olds who are not ready for children (myself included), I just don't feel a 17yr old is ready to raise a child unmarried. Every baby is a gift from God and has a purpose in life, and when a baby is concieved in such a way I feel it might just be to bless another couples life who are unable to have children of their own. Adoption is a beautiful thing and if you're saying keeping a baby at 17 is "the right thing to do" then I guess you're saying adoption is "the wrong thing to do." A baby is not a "consequence" or a way God teaches us a "lesson" for our sin. A baby is a blessing.

 

[laura_killian]

It would be strong to keep the baby. Taking control of the wrongs I did is a good thing. I don't think that I should be able to get away with what I did and just give the baby away, b/c what is that teaching people like me? It's not. When your using adoption as a way to get out of having a baby, is it not becoming something like abortion? Just b/c the baby is living doesnt mean your not trying to get rid of it like killing your baby. To someone else its a blessing, but to you it's just like if you had an abortion except you wouldnt feel so bad.

 

[Fatolia]

Adoption is nothing like abortion. It might be the best thing for the child. Allowing another more mature couple to raise him/her will provide more opportunity for the growing person. First, they'll probably be more financially secure, have more experience, be prepared emotionally and mentally to take care of the baby...and it's been shown time and time again that children raised by teenagers are likely to become teen parents themselves; this isn't necessarily anyone's fault, it's just that the environment is conducive to that behavior. Also, if your boyfriend just happens to not become your husband, a child raised by a single woman can develop HUGE behavioral problems when she (or especially he) reaches adolescence.

Like all above recommended, pray and seek testing.

 

[laura_killian]

God used to bring people together at marriage when they were my age, and he still can. We were brought by him we are meant for each other. I've prayed about it and I know it's him. If we are both done school we would be able to support him. putting a child up for adoptoin could potentially feel like abortion. the child may grow up differnt, but the mother who bore the child wont fully. knowing they have adequate living conditions thouhg still doesnt make it right to just give your child away. adoption adn abortion are both giving it away. even thouhg I am fully for adoption, I just dont think its a proper way of dealing with a child just b/c you dont want it.

 

[Sketcher]

Reading the testimonies of women who have had an abortion will tell you that the two don't feel alike at all. Women who have had abortions feel MUCH worse, trust me.

If you keep this baby, you had better be right about your boyfriend. If he won't marry you as you expect him to, adoption may be your best option - and it takes a lot of strength to make that descision.

First thing's first, though. Find out if you are pregnant or not. If you are, talk to him and see where he stands. I would personally have putting this kid up for adoption as a backup plan because as much faith as you have in him, you don't know how he will react.

 

[laura_killian]

I belive you only fall in love once. I've fell, and I'm not getting back up. We both stand there. I wouldnt want to use adoption as an option though b/c in my heart it wouldnt be to help someone out, but a way out for me. And that's wrong if those are your only intentions.

 

[Singin4Him]

Please take a test soon, you may be getting ahead of yourself right now. You may save yourself a lot of stress and worry if you just take a test.

As for your comments on adoption, I am not trying to be hurtful towards you but I can guarentee you a lot of Christian ministers would advise the same to two unwed teenages. I'm not trying to come down on you by saying this, it is just fact. Again as I said above, it would be different if the two of you would be getting married and if you are keeping the baby I think you should be. PLEASE do not compare adoption to abortion, the two are not the same by any means. One is a blessing the other is a sin.

This post truly concerns me:

It would be strong to keep the baby.

It seems by you saying that you are trying to seem so, like you want people to think this of you. Maybe I am wrong but that is concerning to me.

Taking control of the wrongs I did is a good thing. I don't think that I should be able to get away with what I did and just give the baby away, b/c what is that teaching people like me?

IF you were pregnant this baby would not be a lesson to be learned, this baby is a child that should also be considered as well. Along with that, by giving your baby up for adoption that would be IMO a lot more "strong" of you IF you were to remain an unmarried young woman. You are teaching other unmarried pregnant girls that although they made a mistake they can make it right and it can turn into a blessing. By keeping your baby one thing you might be teaching people like you is that you can have premarital sex and keep a baby and everything is just fine. No one sees the struggle behind it, it seems more like a "happily ever after" kind of thing to them. I've worked in a prenancy crisis center, I've seen this so often.

When your using adoption as a way to get out of having a baby, is it not becoming something like abortion? Just b/c the baby is living doesnt mean your not trying to get rid of it like killing your baby.

Abortion is murder, it's a sin. Adoption is blessing a Christian family with something they are unable to have together on their own. Adoption is such a beautiful blessing. Even disreguarding your personal situation please please please do not ever compare the two.

To someone else its a blessing, but to you it's just like if you had an abortion except you wouldnt feel so bad.

IMO it is rather selfish to think of yourself when you are unmarried and pregnant. One should be considering the baby first and foremost You should be considering what type of life you can provide for a baby at 17 and not being married. It is not just about accepting your mistake it's about being able to provide a good life for your child without relying on your parents. IF you do find out you are pregnant PLEASE consider how well you will be able to provide for the child. Think of the baby first, it is not about you. When you become a parent your needs are secondary.

 

[Singin4Him]

We both stand there. I wouldnt want to use adoption as an option though b/c in my heart it wouldnt be to help someone out, but a way out for me. And that's wrong if those are your only intentions.

IF you are pregnant I am sorry to sound rude but your intentions are not important. It is not about YOU it is about THE BABY. There is such thing as open adoption where you can see and talk with your baby as it grows, adoption doesn't mean you have to give it up with zero contact ever. Please consider the baby first IF you are pregnant, take a test soon.

 

[sculpturegirl]

I belive you only fall in love once. I've fell, and I'm not getting back up. We both stand there. I wouldnt want to use adoption as an option though b/c in my heart it wouldnt be to help someone out, but a way out for me. And that's wrong if those are your only intentions.

It is possible, and probable, to fall in love again. I didn't think so at 17, but ten years later, I know it to be true.

However, if he wants to marry you and for the two of you to raise your (potential) child together, then may God bless you both. Perhaps it is the most responsible thing to do.

 

[laura_killian]

thanks sculpture girl

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

God used to bring people together at marriage when they were my age, and he still can. We were brought by him we are meant for each other. I've prayed about it and I know it's him. If we are both done school we would be able to support him. putting a child up for adoptoin could potentially feel like abortion. the child may grow up differnt, but the mother who bore the child wont fully. knowing they have adequate living conditions thouhg still doesnt make it right to just give your child away. adoption adn abortion are both giving it away. even thouhg I am fully for adoption, I just dont think its a proper way of dealing with a child just b/c you dont want it.

I'm going to say things that you aren't going to like to here. I'm warning you now.

There's a difference between giving the child up for adoption because you don't want him/her and giving him/her up because you know you can't support it. There's a large difference. I was raised by my grandparents. My mother is 40 and my dad 41 and still neither one of them is ready to raise a child! Having my grandparents raise me was the best thing my father has ever done for me. And I'm sure it was very hard on him.

But first thing first: take the test to know for sure.

Money is not the only issue either. Are you emotionally ready? Are you mentally ready? Can you, a 17 year old, take care of a child? My grandfather was terminally ill for 15 months and I had to take care of him. And it was very hard emotionally and mentally.

I'm not going to push you for adoption if you are pregnant. That's your choice. But either way, you have to ask yourself those questions and prepare for whatever decision you make.

 

[halifaxhoney]

You definately need to test. I'm not going to give you the same old talk that others say about adoption because I know enough people are going to tell you that. All I'm going to say is I'm here for you. All the young moms I know kept their babies. Christian or non-Christian.

Feel free to pm me/ add me to msn or yahoo.

Crystal

 

[MagicStar723]

Praying for you!!! {{{HUGS}}}

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

I belive you only fall in love once. I've fell, and I'm not getting back up. We both stand there. I wouldnt want to use adoption as an option though b/c in my heart it wouldnt be to help someone out, but a way out for me. And that's wrong if those are your only intentions.

I fell in love. We dated a year and a half and talked about marriage.

It's been 9 months since he broke up with me and started dating another girl.

It's been 7 months since I started liking another guy.

I was in love with him. I don't want to admit it based on the painful and stupid things that happened. But I was. And I was your age when it happened.

And as someone already pointed out, it's not about you, but your (potential) baby. In whatever decision you make, it can't be about your feelings, your intentions, your wants. It has to be about what is best for your child.

 

[lisarn]

I certainly don't think adoption is wrong by any means but keeping the baby would not be wrong either. And of course I believe a baby is a blessing but getting pregnant out of wedlock is a consequence of sin. Many blessings do come out of the mistakes we make, however. Deciding to keep the baby or giving that baby up for adoption would be a blessing either way. Abortion is a mistake that will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I am sorry my statements came across wrong.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

Um...well, I'm going to go out on a limb here and risk sounding like a crotchety woman:

So here'e the deal...we have been dating for a year now, and about a month or two ago, we decided that we wanted to have sex...

and then:

we are both strong Christians,

To me those two statements are such oxymorons. "We're both strong Christians, but we planned to have sex even though we know the Bible says it's wrong."

but we are madly in love and for some reason, just like many others, we decided we weren't going to wait, and so we did it.

There is no way justifying this. It doesn't matter how long you've been together or how much "in love" you think you are. Pre-marital sex is wrong and the worst thing about this is, it's not like you two were alone and things got a little out of hand...ya know, spur of the moment? You two planned to have sex.

We did it once technically, and kinda of did twice. But on one of the times we only sort of did it...I had this feeling inside me before we did it that I really shouldnt. But I didnt speak up, which is really weird of me b/c usually I speak up really well and would say, NO. but I didnt...and I almost cried that night b/c I really felt like it was a bad choice, even though the other two times I felt fine and just wanted to be close to him..

You knew it was a bad choice before you two had sex. And how close do you feel to him now that you've had sex and you're disappointed in yourself and you think you're pregnant? I have to ask...was it really worth it to buy into satan's lie that "if he/she is the one it's okay to have sex before marriage"?

But I'm only 17. Grade 11. I have got enough credits that with a summer school and one coorospondence course I won't have to go to grade 12, but still...I am too young!

So basically you think you're "old enough" to be "in love" and old enough to have sex, but you're too young to have a child?

We are supposed to be together, but I don't think God wanted us to start our family this early.

Not trying to dampen your happiness here, but it isn't certain you're supposed to be together until you take vows before God and witnesses.

I love my boyfriend so much and he would never leave me, I know he wouldnt.

I wouldn't count my chickens before they hatch. He's young. You don't know that he wouldn't leave. I thought that about a guy once myself. We were sooooo in love, we even lived together. When I had a pregnancy scare he demanded I have an abortion, and he left me anyway (even though I wasn't pregnant). I mean, this was an issue we had discussed in-depth before and he swore he would never leave me, even if I got pregnant.

I just dont think its a proper way of dealing with a child just b/c you dont want it.

It's better than murdering the child in your womb! I honestly don't see how one can equate abortion with adoption under any circumstances. At 17 I don't think you have a clue what you've gotten yourself into. This is why pre-marital sex is so wrong. God knew what He was doing when He urged people to not fall prey to the sin of fornication. I'll definitely be praying and if you're late you need to take a home pregnancy test to know for sure. Good luck.

 

[laura_killian]

To me those two statements are such oxymorons. "We're both strong Christians, but we planned to have sex even though we know the Bible says it's wrong."are you a storng christian too? I am sure you lie. Everybody tries not to lie or sin, but it sitll happens, and sometimes you lie just not to hurt someones feelings. YOu cant say you havetn done it. God views these things the same, so I dont htink I should be come down on that hard. I know its wrong, but I still did it.

There is no way justifying this. It doesn't matter how long you've been together or how much "in love" you think you are. Pre-marital sex is wrong and the worst thing about this is, it's not like you two were alone and things got a little out of hand...ya know, spur of the moment? You two planned to have sex.

You can plan to lie. You can plan to do lots. And mabye you have no clue what our relationship is. Everybody's is differnt, and I know I could never fall in love a second time. Im not a wimpy 17 year old who falls in love with the hottest guy she sees. Im in love iwth Gods child he gave me.