Worst Reason You Got Broken Up With

[Swan7]

Yeah exactly. We really have to be careful. In that GF's example, it would seem like God changed his mind. So firstly God wants that BF and GF to marry. Then then a few weeks later God now wants the BF to break up with her for disobedient?

The danger of these Pentecostal and charismatic Christian is that God "always" seems to want what they want. God wants what is convenient for them. If I am a skeptic, I would say that many of these people were just using God's name to get what they themselves wanted.

Another thing I'd like to add, most likely related to what you said here if not pretty much the same, is that God doesn't change either. Why would he then change His? It just doesn't make sense.

 

[mojoboy31]

Another thing I'd like to add, most likely related to what you said here if not pretty much the same, is that God doesn't change either. Why would he then change His? It just doesn't make sense.

That too, God is unchanging.

 

[Swan7]

I haven't been "dumped" terribly much since I was the "dumper"... But! I was honest about losing my "feelers" for them.

There is one I recall where I dated a guy and things were going great, we listened to music and played games when suddenly he didn't want to have anything to do with me. He would even go so far as to call me ugly using songs, which hurt a great deal considering. So, what more could I do then let him go? So I did. Then he had the nerve to call my friend (to get a hold of me) to see if I could go out with him again 2 years later!
I said I was taken, and I was.
He did apologize for what he did for what it's worth.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

I haven't been "dumped" terribly much since I was the "dumper"... But! I was honest about losing my "feelers" for them.

There is one I recall where I dated a guy and things were going great, we listened to music and played games when suddenly he didn't want to have anything to do with me. He would even go so far as to call me ugly using songs, which hurt a great deal considering. So, what more could I do then let him go? So I did. Then he had the nerve to call my friend (to get a hold of me) to see if I could go out with him again 2 years later!
I said I was taken, and I was.
He did apologize for what he did for what it's worth.

Can I please slap him?? Wow! The nerve. Also, I feel really special that you used the word "feelers", lol.

At least he did apologize, but seriously...

 

[Swan7]

Can I please slap him?? Wow! The nerve. Also, I feel really special that you used the word "feelers", lol.

At least he did apologize, but seriously...

Lol!! I was so over him by the time he tried asking me out again. But yeah, he apologized.
Also, that little "Easter Egg" was meant for you
Glad you caught that!

 

[High Fidelity]

Makes loads of sense, but it can be said in two different ways which makes a world of difference:

1) God wants me to break up with you, because you're sinner and bad influence while I'm not that way.
2) God wants me to break up with you, I think you're good person but maybe it's just not meant to be in Gods plans.

The difference between sense of mystery vs sense of superiority.

And 3) God wants me to break up with you, He actually doesn't, I just don't have the backbone to say it myself.

 

[blackribbon]

Makes loads of sense, but it can be said in two different ways which makes a world of difference:

1) God wants me to break up with you, because you're sinner and bad influence while I'm not that way.
2) God wants me to break up with you, I think you're good person but maybe it's just not meant to be in Gods plans.

The difference between sense of mystery vs sense of superiority.

Why were you dating this person in the first place? Don't date people that don't meet your criteria for "marriage material". Don't date people in hopes that they will change 'for you'. Mostly, a person's character should be evident within the first couple dates and I don't consider this to be "breaking up" because you are still trying to decide if this person is worthy of "dating".

I think there are a million valid reasons to break up with someone. You both have different visions for your employment goals. You both have different family goals. You both have different priorities financially. You admire someone but really don't feel any physical attraction (a sexless marriage is a sad marriage). Your religions/cultures clash. Potential extended family members will cause serious maritial conflict. etc.... But I consider these to be good reasons to break up .... but that doesn't mean it won't hurt one or both members of the party.

Staying together because you don't want to hurt the other party is a very poor reason to stay together.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

Lol!! I was so over him by the time he tried asking me out again. But yeah, he apologized.
Also, that little "Easter Egg" was meant for you
Glad you caught that!

I saw it right off and was like that's for me! Lol

For me, what I hate the most, especially about my situation is... He put a fear in me I didn't have before. Something I cannot get rid of and will always think about in my future relationship(s). Which is:

No matter how long we've been together, no matter how close I think we are, no matter how strong I think the relationship is... It could end in a second because they want it to be over.

For as long as I've been in any relationship, I've never had that fear, or that... I don't know what else to call it besides fear... of just someone up and leaving the relationship. I've always felt I'd know if something were going awry in the relationship, I'd see the flags, I'd know we were going down hill. I never imagined it would happen when I felt things were good.

 

[CCHIPSS]

I saw it right off and was like that's for me! Lol

For me, what I hate the most, especially about my situation is... He put a fear in me I didn't have before. Something I cannot get rid of and will always think about in my future relationship(s). Which is:

No matter how long we've been together, no matter how close I think we are, no matter how strong I think the relationship is... It could end in a second because they want it to be over.

For as long as I've been in any relationship, I've never had that fear, or that... I don't know what else to call it besides fear... of just someone up and leaving the relationship. I've always felt I'd know if something were going awry in the relationship, I'd see the flags, I'd know we were going down hill. I never imagined it would happen when I felt things were good.

Apostle John actually have a direct answer to that:

Your Ex did a poor job of loving you.

It was written that if a BF loves a GF, he would do everything he could to drive her fears away. So one day she will have no doubt, none whatsoever, that he truly and deeply loves her. (1 John 4:18-20)

This passage really help me to focus on what I need to be doing when I get confused. I just got to keep on driving my GF's doubts and fears away, so she knows I love her. If I cannot even love my GF who I can see, potentially my future wife, I cannot claim that I love Jesus who I have not seen. =)

 

[Swan7]

I saw it right off and was like that's for me! Lol

For me, what I hate the most, especially about my situation is... He put a fear in me I didn't have before. Something I cannot get rid of and will always think about in my future relationship(s). Which is:

No matter how long we've been together, no matter how close I think we are, no matter how strong I think the relationship is... It could end in a second because they want it to be over.

For as long as I've been in any relationship, I've never had that fear, or that... I don't know what else to call it besides fear... of just someone up and leaving the relationship. I've always felt I'd know if something were going awry in the relationship, I'd see the flags, I'd know we were going down hill. I never imagined it would happen when I felt things were good.

I know exactly how you feel. I have the same fear as you, but with a twist. I don't trust myself because of the sudden loss of "feelers " for that person.

Perhaps this is why Paul said it is better to be single and and to not trust in man so much.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

I know exactly how you feel. I have the same fear as you, but with a twist. I don't trust myself because of the sudden loss of "feelers " for that person.

Perhaps this is why Paul said it is better to be single and and to not trust in man so much.

I have the same problem too! I thought I was the only one who just suddenly losses "feelers". Sometimes I'm just over it.

 

[Swan7]

I have the same problem too! I thought I was the only one who just suddenly losses "feelers". Sometimes I'm just over it.

I know, right!? Sometimes I wonder what's happening to me Lol!

 

[LadyOfMystery]

I know, right!? Sometimes I wonder what's happening to me Lol!

Same! Sometimes for me it's reactions. If the guy doesn't have what I feel is an "appropriate" reaction to something, I'm like. Oh okay. Well that was fun while it lasted. lol

 

[Swan7]

Same! Sometimes for me it's reactions. If the guy doesn't have what I feel is an "appropriate" reaction to something, I'm like. Oh okay. Well that was fun while it lasted. lol

Oh my gosh I have a story for you later. PM perhaps?
Gotta work

 

[LadyOfMystery]

Oh my gosh I have a story for you later. PM perhaps?
Gotta work

Lol Okay! I'll be looking forward to it.

 

[William67]

@Carolina Sunrise @Swan7 Guys who do that are cowards who are trying to make it seem that their lack of "guts" is somehow the lady's fault. These are the same kind of guys who skip from girl, to girl, to girl as a way to inflate their frail, pathetic egos. Get to know a guy. I mean really get to know him. Find out from his female relatives what he is like. They will usually tell you the truth if you are friends with them, as well.

 

[blackribbon]

A girl in love doesn't believe anyone else...they feel they know their sweetheart better than anyone else....

(okay...not necessarily always true but common enough make the statement)

 

[William67]

A girl in love doesn't believe anyone else...they feel they know their sweetheart better than anyone else....

(okay...not necessarily always true but common enough make the statement)

That's unfortunate.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

@Carolina Sunrise @Swan7 Guys who do that are cowards who are trying to make it seem that their lack of "guts" is somehow the lady's fault. These are the same kind of guys who skip from girl, to girl, to girl as a way to inflate their frail, pathetic egos. Get to know a guy. I mean really get to know him. Find out from his female relatives what he is like. They will usually tell you the truth if you are friends with them, as well.

I agree fully. It's something I've always done, but seems like something I'll need to pay closer attention to.

A girl in love doesn't believe anyone else...they feel they know their sweetheart better than anyone else....

(okay...not necessarily always true but common enough make the statement)

I agree to a certain extent. Sometimes it's just the mere fact that the one you're with is one way with you, while they are different with others and it's hard for you to see them in a different light. It's like you have a blanket over your eyes.

 

[blackribbon]

I agree to a certain extent. Sometimes it's just the mere fact that the one you're with is one way with you, while they are different with others and it's hard for you to see them in a different light. It's like you have a blanket over your eyes.

Always watch how the person you love (male or female) behaves when you are not around or their attitudes toward other people. Watch how other people react to him/her. Statements like "I am so happy that someone finally got him to settle down" or "you make her a better woman" are red flags to be explored further. Take your love glasses off and really watch the person you love from time to time...like an outsider would look at him/her.

My mother always told me to ask my serious dating partners if they would do this or that for me (usually behavioral changes). The willingness to change was how she measured "love", I guess. I always refused to ask because I wanted to see change that was self-initiated and not just change to please me because I didn't want temporary change. I will say this, my way works better.