Worrying about being too "earthly" with hobbies

[stacymay]

I struggle a lot with my faith because I often feel like I'm not a good enough Christian. I'm a very sensual person when it comes to art, writing, etc. and I keep hearing from very conservative people that anything that brings you joy outside of Jesus, or anything that brings you earthly pleasure, is to be avoided. Is this true?

I try to regulate my hobbies/interests so that they don't get in the way of my spiritual life, but since I'm so socially anxious and prefer solitude, it would be hard for me to give them up altogether (my main hobbies are animation, drawing, fanfiction, writing, etc., just for relaxation/fun)

Please know that i'm not a "troll" - I blame my OCD for these irrational fears mostly, but of course I've also been told not to trust my own heart/mind, so I have no idea what to believe. I don't know if I'm a bad Christian or not because I sometimes would rather play video games than read the Bible... I know I'm only human but when I see people who spend all their time praising God, studying the Bible, and going on mission trips I feel like there's no way I could be saved like them.

(Please don't tell me to just stop having hobbies, that would make me very sad)

 

[Ribosome]

I also have obsessions about not being a good enough christian. I feel most of it is due to the soteriology i was subjected to when I first became a christian, and that gave something for my OCD to latch onto.

The soteriology I speak of is called Calvinism with its Lordship Salvation teaching. It has been so damaging to my understanding of God and to my fellowship with him. It has been damaging to many former calvinists who DON'T have OCD, but for me as the OCD afflicted person, it is far worse it seems.

If you have these thoughts about not being a good enough christian or not being saved at all, it is because you were subjected to teaching which is performance based salvation. This sort of teaching spring up everywhere and prolly make up majority of christianity unfortunately. It is very present in calvinism with its lordship salvation, although it is appalling to me that so many calvinists seem not to notice it.

I am quite angry with calvinists and anyone else who adds works to salvation because of how much it traumatized my life for the past 4 years and drew me away from God instead of towards him. I am still in the pit of dispair because the OCD has latched on to this trauma and I dunno if I'll ever get out of it now and have a peaceful fellowship with God.

I encourage you to look into free grace theology, it has the true gospel. Here is a website that would be very helpful Free Grace Alliance

If you listen to the calvinists and other works salvation people, you will never feel at peace with God nor have joy in your life, because you will be obeying God out of fear in order to save yourself from hell, which is what every other religion in the world does.

If you have OCD, your problem will be harder to treat just like it is for me, so you could try working on the OCD and fixing your soteriology together.

 

[stacymay]

Thanks for the reply... but I don't really know if that's what I was taught. I've mostly been taught through the doctrine that anything outside of God/the Bible that brings you joy should be avoided and that you must love God more than anything else. It's true that I would not give up God for anything, but some things make me happier than praying does. Is that bad? That's what I worry about. And people will tell me things like, "Well, if it worries you, let it go." But it's not that ismple. Things that worry me are not always rational.

 

[rustom]

Hi there,

Just want to firstly say, you are NOT alone on that one. I'm a shy person and also prefer solitude at some points; just recently I told my mother about Jesus Christ and how only by repenting and trusting in Him alone, what He has done, will you get to Heaven. I had been suffering from the same thing, low self-esteem, how I was not doing enough (faith without works) and after this I was immediately surrounded by thoughts like "I'm sure I'm saved because of that" and there was a big NO that had to occur and then followed by humbling thoughts.

In regards to your hobbies, a lot of Christians would say do it for the glory of God which I do agree with. Over the last few months I was desperately asking God to show me which path I should take (mainly being the next course at college I should take) since I had gotten my senses knocked into me after living a lifestyle of sin. It was then that I thought of doing a computer course. At first I thought that I shouldn't ever go back to that again, but God showed me a better way to use the gifts He had given me and so I am now on the course hoping to get into university to learn more about programming.

While I was still growing in the faith, I was wondering how on earth I would be able to program (and any other 'worldly' thing such as art and gaming) in a way that is pleasing to God. I mean, I knew it would be ok for me to play my guitar as long as I was worshipping, and of course using the internet to read the bible and watch sermons. But what about things that do not directly link to those things? Indeed the key verses when doing anything are:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,
- Colossians 3:23

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
- 1 Corinthians 10:31

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
- Colossians 3:17 (NIV)

And thus doxology is the way to go. Of course there are guidelines we must follow, if the activity that we are doing is a sin, then don't do it. If it becomes idolatry then move away from it. I know that OCD doesn't help much (at times) in this regard and can cause you to question every single thing you do that is not directly spiritual, but all these can be overcome by truth.
I currently have 2 major projects (aside from personal life, and college) which is making a Christian desktop application and a 2D RPG game for the desktop as well (which has Christian ideals such as Narnia). My motivation for doing these things is that I believe God cares about what I do and that makes me want to go through with it with the best of my abilities, and I also believe that my interests and skills seem to fit in with those projects.

I do try to balance these things, as making a game, especially one on the scale that I plan it to go to, requires a lot of effort and a lot of time. One things I try to do is to pray whenever I can, usually before I start working on these things to remind myself who I am doing this for.

I hope that my story has helped you and I encourage you to first pray about these matters, and to do everything for the glory of God.

Praying for you,
Rustom

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
- Hebrews 13:5

 

[stacymay]

Thanks but that's exactly my problem. I'm not a computer major or an art major or anything like that. I'm an autism worker and I'm graduating next winter to go to occupational therapy school, so we can throw that out the window. I wouldn't give up my dream just so that my hobbies can be more relevant to my career or faith walk. At the end of a stressful day of class and work I like to relax, watch Netflix, draw, get my ideas out there, have fun, and be creative... or just rest for once. But when people tell me that's wrong because it's idolatry, then I feel bad about it. So am I an idolater? Does God hate me a lot? Because I'm not doing Bible-related things all the time. I can't always fit a Christian message into everything I do. My heart wouldn't be in it if it was forced. So I guess I'm just a bad Christian, that was my thought to begin with.

 

[gracealone]

OCD takes the doctrine of idolatry and runs amuck with it. What do you think of this verse: "God giveth us all things to enjoy." ?
I also watch Netflix, maybe work on beading or felting, maybe eat a bowl of ice cream and just unwind. None of this is sin if it's done in moderation and if I'm being responsible about the rest of my time. But with OCD, once you get an doubt or fear like this stuck in your head because of some triggering statement or event it can really be hard to just ignore it. So.... if you want to minimize the OCD's hold on you, go ahead and keep on doing those things, even with the accusations that you are sinning blabbing on and on in your head. If you begin to give in to the fear by avoiding these things for fear that doing them will means God will reject you eventually you'll find that the OCD will find yet another thing to be "sinful" and after awhile your whole life will become one big hyper scrupulous nightmare. Not fun. These things are not sin. Now if you were filling your mind with trashy Netflix movies... well yeah that would be sin. Or if you lolled about the house all day, every day and didn't do a thing to attend to your responsibilities out of laziness...yeah that would be sin... or if you decided that because art is so much fun that this was what you would be doing 24/7 and to heck with everything else... yeah that would be sin. But you already knew that right?????
So even though this might feel uncomfortable for awhile you need to keep on doing those enjoyable things and allow for the accusations and anxiety associated with them to just be there. Don't argue with the accusations, just let them float in and out of your mind without paying them any heed whatsoever. If you keep this up you will find that your mind will let go of this fear. If you give in to the fear by avoidance... well OCD is going to have a field day with you. Not fun! Well I gotta scoot... going to a movie in a bit just to relax and unwind... Mitzi

Thanks but that's exactly my problem. I'm not a computer major or an art major or anything like that. I'm an autism worker and I'm graduating next winter to go to occupational therapy school, so we can throw that out the window. I wouldn't give up my dream just so that my hobbies can be more relevant to my career or faith walk. At the end of a stressful day of class and work I like to relax, watch Netflix, draw, get my ideas out there, have fun, and be creative... or just rest for once. But when people tell me that's wrong because it's idolatry, then I feel bad about it. So am I an idolater? Does God hate me a lot? Because I'm not doing Bible-related things all the time. I can't always fit a Christian message into everything I do. My heart wouldn't be in it if it was forced. So I guess I'm just a bad Christian, that was my thought to begin with.

 

[stacymay]

Thanks Mitzi, but I wonder what do you mean by lolling around the house all day not attending to my other responsibilities? I do go to work 5 days a week and go to class and do all the extra work and take care of my pet and all that stuff, but I don't go out of my way to leave the apartment if I'm not working or going to class. I'm very socially anxious and can't stand being around people too much so I need my alone time. Is that bad?

 

[gracealone]

I wasn't referencing your Social Anxiety, trust me I understand how isolating these disorders can be. I was just speaking about procrastinating or putting off things which need to be done because we might want to goof off in stead I wasn't even speaking specifically about you. I was speaking about the general tendency in all our natures to sometimes put off the mundane tasks of life. My post was meant to contrast irresponsible or sinful choices which when we engage in them we generally don't feel anxious, that is until the consequences set in over against the hyper scrupulous feelings of OCD which accuse us and cause intense anxiety. I meant to encourage you that it's okay for you to relax, take it easy and enjoy life and not to let the OCD stop you from doing that. I'm sorry that it seemed like I was accusing you... trust me there was nothing in my post or in my mind that thought of you as irresponsible. In fact, I'm quite sure you are quite the opposite. But when we have OCD it's SO easy to read something and have the OCD twist it round to make us feel guilty and I'm sorry that my response to you caused you to feel that way. I was practically a recluse when my OCD was bad. I didn't enjoy that at all, it was just too hard/painful to be out and about when I was having panic attacks all the time. This had to do with the disorder not irresponsibility. Hope that clarifies things a bit. Praying for you. Mitzi

Thanks Mitzi, but I wonder what do you mean by lolling around the house all day not attending to my other responsibilities? I do go to work 5 days a week and go to class and do all the extra work and take care of my pet and all that stuff, but I don't go out of my way to leave the apartment if I'm not working or going to class. I'm very socially anxious and can't stand being around people too much so I need my alone time. Is that bad?

 

[stacymay]

I just hate being around people, that's all

I know you weren't accusing me, but when you listed doing things instead of more helpful or useful things as a sin I assumed I'm guilty of that. It's the OCD talking.