Worried about the future

[Nafe]

My wife has a year old son, he was 1 when we met and was 2 when we moved in together. I love him with all my heart and he is the best kid in the world.

I am now getting worried now my wife is getting close to giving birth to my own child that subconsciously i will favour my biological child over my stop son.

I really don't want my step son to miss out on anything and i don't want to favour either. I am just worried, concerned and confused.

 

[HisHomeMaker]

I am Mom in a blended family with two biological children, a boy and a girl, plus a step-son. I will not lie to you. Blending has been difficult, however my step son was seven when I received him as my wedding gift and, from what others have told me, feeling "equal love" is easier when the children are younger. Older children's loyalty to their biological parent(s) can be difficult.

Does your step-son still have a relationship with his biological father?

I understand that your new baby will be a girl. I think this will help you, too, because try as we might to treat boys and girls the same, they really are different. There are special things that you will share with your son that your daughter won't be interested in, and visa versa. ALL children are different, whether they are biologically yours or not.

I never thought I would ever be able to say this, but right now I am very close to my step son. It took a lot of deliberate effort on my part to create a relationship with him for the first five years. I didn't have a relationship with God then; having prayer would have made life easier for me. Today I struggle with my biological son and I pray for that. All teenagers can be difficult, biological or not.

Love all children. "Children are a heritage from the LORD."

I hope you, your wife and your unborn baby continue to do well.

 

[Nafe]

Thanks for the reply.

(Firstly on a different note. I willbe baxk to the bible study thread this afternoon, drama after drama lately)

Anyway, My stepson kind of sees his biological father. Pretty much when I met my wife, her son had no dealings with his dad. His daf matured and had a new son of his own and now wants to get to know his first son.

Anyway that was about 2 years or so ago now. My stepson went for a good while every 2nd weekwnd to his dads, which is good and i encourage it. Recently he hasnt wanted to go to his dads, even with all the encouragement he wont want to go. But now after discussions with my wife and his dad have now arranged that they just do daytrips one daya week.

I fully encourage him to spend time with his dad. But I fall short of saying he has to go, I leave that ro my wifeto say as I dont want to appear to. be trying to get rid of him. It breaks my heart ro see him walk out the door upset on his way out.

I have a great relationship with the little feller, he loves helping me and justbeing with me, everyone else has troyble getting a cuddle off him but gives them frwwly ro me, or unless i say to give nanny a cuddle or whoevwr it is.

Anyway prob shared too much but I just really don't want him to feel, after my daughter is born that he feels left out or that we are. trying rto get rid of him when all i want to do is encourage him to go see his dad.

Does all this make sense?

 

[HisHomeMaker]

It all makes sense.

Trust that just when you think you have parenting all figured out, when things are good, that something will change and you'll be forced to learn something new. I hope you are part of a church community and that you have a relationship with extended family. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I think it takes a village to raise parents and to nurture a marriage, too. Something tells me, though, that you're going to be fine... just because you CARE.

Keep caring. Keep loving. Keep praying. Keep trusting that God loves you and knows what's best for you. That's what will keep you from feeling overwhelmed whenever there is drama.

Feel free to join in on Bible study whenever you can, Nafe. I'm just bumbling along and mostly talking to myself on the boards. LOL