Worried About Salvation . . . Help

[PhillipInCalifornia]

I had a very unnerving experience this summer. A quick background on me, then I'll tell you what happened. I grew up in a fundamentalist church. Very hellfire and brimstone church. I was saved in my teens, but left my fundamentalist church in my 20s. In my church, I came to fear Jesus. Why? My pastor was always talking about Jesus telling people to "depart from me you accursed." Long story short, I became scared of Jesus. I'm in my 50s now. I tried to live the Christian life after leaving my fundamentalist church. I found myself drawn to God because he seemed friendly. However, I always felt nervous about Jesus because of the Hell verses. Tried my best to have a relationship with Jesus, but never quite connected. Which brings me to the current time. Earlier this summer, I was watching a YouTube video about a lady who had a vision of Jesus. It seemed very real. She told of how Jesus had shown to her that if people don't know him and don't let him fill the void in their heart, then he'd have to send them to Hell. In the vision, Jesus said to her that he'd be brokenhearted to send people away, but that he would have to do so if they didn't give their lives to him. This video struck a cord with me, as I realized that I had never made that commitment. To be honest, the video scared me more than anything has ever scared me. I have spent the last three months profusely repenting and asking Jesus to be my savior. Here is the tough part: the experience scared me so much, that I came down with severe anxiety and had to start taking medication. I had never had anxiety previously in my life. It can be crippling at times. As it stands, I have spent every day the last three months extremely worried about my salvation. I have read the Bible and prayed intensely during this time, asking Jesus for forgiveness and salvation. There have been times when the Bible has truly given me comfort, but I can't shake the fear I had when I first saw that video. I find myself doing everything I can to sincerely have a relationship with Jesus, but I'm scared. It's a horrible set of conflicting feelings to have. I don't know how to get out of this funk. I am in counseling, but I'm still dealing with this. Any help would be appreciated.

 

[BibleBeliever1611]

Imagine you're in a battle. Fear, anxiety, doubt, panic attacks, etc, are like the bullets of the enemy. How do you defend yourself? By covering yourself with the shield of faith.

"Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked." - Ephesians 6:16

 

[subtlecollision]

Hi,

Sorry for everything you're going through. I did want to try to help, as I have struggled with fears of not being saved.

The first thing I want to say is... it truly sounds like you are saved. A person who isn't born again isn't interested in God like you are. God gives us the desire to pursue Him and love Him.

I find myself doing everything I can to sincerely have a relationship with Jesus, but I'm scared.

God isn't going to turn away someone who wants to be with Him like that. That's not what the depart from me passage means. I think the passage is talking about people who didn’t have a relationship with God. That’s why He says He never knew them. These are people who do works they believe are good, but it’s for show or some other reason, not because they care about God. Since you care so much about having a relationship with God, you don’t fall into the category of these people. I totally get how the passage can be scary. It has scared me before. But it’s not talking about people who have a desire in their heart for God.

I went to a church that instilled some very legalistic thoughts in my head and made me afraid of "losing" my salvation. At one point, I could hardly go to work I was so terrified. I had to get on FMLA. So I understand your pain.

But I want you to know that it gets better.

You need to get a deeper understanding of the gospel. It will help dispel your fears.

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. – John 5:24

You have already passed from death to life!!! Rejoice in that! You are saved! Let this truth strengthen you and give you joy.

The fire and brimstone story that you learned will need to be banished, but it might take some time. It's not always easy to rewrite a story like that in our heads, so be patient with yourself if you’re not “completely over it” immediately. If you heal from this quickly, that's totally great and possible, but it could take some time and small steps of faith. At least it did for me. You’re going to have to read over all the Bible verses that say you are saved by faith. There are so many throughout the Bible.

Also, I would encourage you to stop asking Jesus to be your savior. You don't need to do it over and over again. He already became your savior the first time you asked.

You will get past this. I pray that God will help you learn to trust Him and stand strong in the fact that you are saved by grace alone.

 

[Brother-Mike]

Thanks for sharing Phillip and I hope that any of these feeble comments may help, or at least spark thought.

Adding to the above thoughtful posting by @subtlecollision:

1. Scripture trumps that lady's dream, and it also trumps a Pastor's perhaps-over-emphasis on the hellfire verses as opposed to the clear and unambiguous message of salvation: you will be saved by believing and continuing to believe in Jesus and his sacrifice (John 3:16).
2. Jesus came so that you may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). With all due respect, he did not come so that you would be twisted up into knots regarding your salvation. He gave us permission to live our lives, filled with love for God, free of ambiguity.
3. Jesus does not need an intensification of your prayer. Doing more will not save you. It's all a done deal - he has already died for all of your sins, you are already forgiven.
4. If you're into books I would recommend reading "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence for perhaps a different perspective on talking to God.

 

[d taylor]

-
​

Your problem sounds like you have been introduced to the gospel of doubt.

God offers anyone His free gift of Eternal Life the only condition God requires to receive this free gift is for a person to believe,trust, have faith in The Messiah (Jesus) for Eternal Life. The you have receive God's free gift of Eternal Life, you have crossed over from death to life and have become a born again child of God.

If you do not believe what i wrote above, maybe you will believe what God wrote below, below promises from God on Eternal Life.

John 3:14,15 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

John 3:18
“He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is
condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only
begotten Son of God.

John 3:36
He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.”

John 5:24
“Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.

John 11:25,26,27
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”

John 20:31
but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name

 

[disciple Clint]

I had a very unnerving experience this summer. A quick background on me, then I'll tell you what happened. I grew up in a fundamentalist church. Very hellfire and brimstone church. I was saved in my teens, but left my fundamentalist church in my 20s. In my church, I came to fear Jesus. Why? My pastor was always talking about Jesus telling people to "depart from me you accursed." Long story short, I became scared of Jesus. I'm in my 50s now. I tried to live the Christian life after leaving my fundamentalist church. I found myself drawn to God because he seemed friendly. However, I always felt nervous about Jesus because of the Hell verses. Tried my best to have a relationship with Jesus, but never quite connected. Which brings me to the current time. Earlier this summer, I was watching a YouTube video about a lady who had a vision of Jesus. It seemed very real. She told of how Jesus had shown to her that if people don't know him and don't let him fill the void in their heart, then he'd have to send them to Hell. In the vision, Jesus said to her that he'd be brokenhearted to send people away, but that he would have to do so if they didn't give their lives to him. This video struck a cord with me, as I realized that I had never made that commitment. To be honest, the video scared me more than anything has ever scared me. I have spent the last three months profusely repenting and asking Jesus to be my savior. Here is the tough part: the experience scared me so much, that I came down with severe anxiety and had to start taking medication. I had never had anxiety previously in my life. It can be crippling at times. As it stands, I have spent every day the last three months extremely worried about my salvation. I have read the Bible and prayed intensely during this time, asking Jesus for forgiveness and salvation. There have been times when the Bible has truly given me comfort, but I can't shake the fear I had when I first saw that video. I find myself doing everything I can to sincerely have a relationship with Jesus, but I'm scared. It's a horrible set of conflicting feelings to have. I don't know how to get out of this funk. I am in counseling, but I'm still dealing with this. Any help would be appreciated.

Conflicting feeling? name one time that anyone came to Jesus with fear or doubt or even unbelief and Jesus said "you must go to hell" NEVER. Jesus always gave understanding and forgiveness, over and over in the Gospels show the example of His love reaching out to save people, maybe the best know example is:
The Parable of the Prodigal Son
Luke 15:11-31

 

[Tolworth John]

As it stands, I have spent every day the last three months extremely worried about my salvation.

May i ask you, what makes you a Christian?
What are you trusting in?

You say that you find Jesus very scary, considering he is our Judge that is a reasonable fear.
People babble about John 3:16, God SO loved the world, but they never talk about the next few verses like v 18 which talks about, those who Do Not believe in Jesus being condemned already.

So again, What makes you a Christian?

That you are afraid of loosing your salvation is a good sign as the non christian does not care about being saved.

Please read what Jess said in John 6:-
7 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38 For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 40 For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”


May I suggest that you pray about simply trusting what Jesus said.

 

[Blade]

I had a very unnerving experience this summer. A quick background on me, then I'll tell you what happened. I grew up in a fundamentalist church. Very hellfire and brimstone church. I was saved in my teens, but left my fundamentalist church in my 20s. In my church, I came to fear Jesus. Why? My pastor was always talking about Jesus telling people to "depart from me you accursed." Long story short, I became scared of Jesus. I'm in my 50s now. I tried to live the Christian life after leaving my fundamentalist church. I found myself drawn to God because he seemed friendly. However, I always felt nervous about Jesus because of the Hell verses. Tried my best to have a relationship with Jesus, but never quite connected. Which brings me to the current time. Earlier this summer, I was watching a YouTube video about a lady who had a vision of Jesus. It seemed very real. She told of how Jesus had shown to her that if people don't know him and don't let him fill the void in their heart, then he'd have to send them to Hell. In the vision, Jesus said to her that he'd be brokenhearted to send people away, but that he would have to do so if they didn't give their lives to him. This video struck a cord with me, as I realized that I had never made that commitment. To be honest, the video scared me more than anything has ever scared me. I have spent the last three months profusely repenting and asking Jesus to be my savior. Here is the tough part: the experience scared me so much, that I came down with severe anxiety and had to start taking medication. I had never had anxiety previously in my life. It can be crippling at times. As it stands, I have spent every day the last three months extremely worried about my salvation. I have read the Bible and prayed intensely during this time, asking Jesus for forgiveness and salvation. There have been times when the Bible has truly given me comfort, but I can't shake the fear I had when I first saw that video. I find myself doing everything I can to sincerely have a relationship with Jesus, but I'm scared. It's a horrible set of conflicting feelings to have. I don't know how to get out of this funk. I am in counseling, but I'm still dealing with this. Any help would be appreciated.

HI I don't know about this person and video vision. But for me I have to make sure it lines up with the word. OT NT He said anyone that calls on the name of the lord shall be delivered/saved. The thief on the cross never gave his life to Christ yet today you will be with me in paradise Christ said. Then Christ said If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We see; therefore your sin remaineth..

Christ said anyone that come to Him He will not cast out "all that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. ". What the so called vision said ..is not written. Also what Christ has ALREADY started in you He will finish. So you do what we do.. you repent of your sins. That means we do a 180 we don't or try not to keep doing that sin. There can be sins that seem hard to stop yet.. in the end we always will stop. So repent get up dust off keep going. FORGIVE your self as He already did. Know this.. Christ will NEVER EVER use fear worry doubt Fear is not of God. He will use peace love .. the fruits of the spirit.. 1st Cor 13.

You said "I can't shake this fear". Yeah.. that fear never came from God. He loves you. You know it is not written we can only say John 3:16 once He already died for your sins thats ALL of them. Repent and KNOW He forgave you.. He said He would. If you confess your sins.. He is faithful and just to forgive you your sins and cleanses you from all unrighteousness. You are in right standing with GOD aka righteousness NOT because you never sin or always sin.. you are righteous because you believe in JESUS. Its what HE did not you. We are no longer slaves to sin..this body loves to sin but you have a NEW spirit so one side wants to sin the other does not can not. So forgive your self.....that that lying spirit to flee and you ARE washed in the BLOOD OF JESUS! Yeah.. speak His name! Speak His word.. Read Psa 4 ever night

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I had a very unnerving experience this summer. A quick background on me, then I'll tell you what happened. I grew up in a fundamentalist church. Very hellfire and brimstone church. I was saved in my teens, but left my fundamentalist church in my 20s. In my church, I came to fear Jesus. Why? My pastor was always talking about Jesus telling people to "depart from me you accursed." Long story short, I became scared of Jesus. I'm in my 50s now. I tried to live the Christian life after leaving my fundamentalist church. I found myself drawn to God because he seemed friendly. However, I always felt nervous about Jesus because of the Hell verses. Tried my best to have a relationship with Jesus, but never quite connected. Which brings me to the current time. Earlier this summer, I was watching a YouTube video about a lady who had a vision of Jesus. It seemed very real. She told of how Jesus had shown to her that if people don't know him and don't let him fill the void in their heart, then he'd have to send them to Hell. In the vision, Jesus said to her that he'd be brokenhearted to send people away, but that he would have to do so if they didn't give their lives to him. This video struck a cord with me, as I realized that I had never made that commitment. To be honest, the video scared me more than anything has ever scared me. I have spent the last three months profusely repenting and asking Jesus to be my savior. Here is the tough part: the experience scared me so much, that I came down with severe anxiety and had to start taking medication. I had never had anxiety previously in my life. It can be crippling at times. As it stands, I have spent every day the last three months extremely worried about my salvation. I have read the Bible and prayed intensely during this time, asking Jesus for forgiveness and salvation. There have been times when the Bible has truly given me comfort, but I can't shake the fear I had when I first saw that video. I find myself doing everything I can to sincerely have a relationship with Jesus, but I'm scared. It's a horrible set of conflicting feelings to have. I don't know how to get out of this funk. I am in counseling, but I'm still dealing with this. Any help would be appreciated.

Welcome to CF.
" There is no fear in Love and God is Love". Jesus Christ of Nazareth is God in the flesh. Your understanding of our Father has been overshadowed by the evils of men. Go back to your first love ;ask that He fill you with His Holy Spirit.
Blessings.