Word of advice for brides to be about BC...

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I hear a lot of young women on here saying they are planning to see their doctors about birth control options and physical exams a mere MONTH before the wedding day.

Girls, please, it is VERY important you do this AT LEAST THREE months before the wedding day! Most birth control options take at least a couple of cycles to settle into place. Whether that's the pill, implanon, the shot, or even NFP, you should be giving yourselves at least 3 months grace to work out how your reproductive cycle works in regards to ovulation and 'flow' times to implement these medications/methods.

I just would hate for you guys to leave it too late!

Also, if you are seeing the doctor about 'physical issues' (like your 'stretchiness', for example), it's a smarter idea to do this a few months beforehand, so that you can start doing exercises well in advance of when sexual intimacy is going to occur.

Just a couple of pointers from a health professional - and a woman!

Sasch

 

[*heidi*]

it is VERY important you do this AT LEAST THREE months

Arrrgggh! Now I'm freaking out. It's already less than 3 months until my wedding. My mum seems to think that the pill only needs about a month to become effective. Sascha, you probably have a better idea than my mum though. How do people that aren't health professionals find out about this kinda information?

Thanks for the advice. I will go to the doctor ASAP. I'm kinda worried now though. Oh well, there are always barrier birth control devices. Yuck! Who wants to be messing around with that on their wedding night.

 

[flounder7786]

WOW...thanks for letting me know that...i've got quite a while before i have to start taking it...but at least i will officially know that i have to get it 3 mo. ahead...YAY!!!

 

[PurpleBunny]

Arrrgggh! Now I'm freaking out. It's already less than 3 months until my wedding. My mum seems to think that the pill only needs about a month to become effective. Sascha, you probably have a better idea than my mum though. How do people that aren't health professionals find out about this kinda information?

Thanks for the advice. I will go to the doctor ASAP. I'm kinda worried now though. Oh well, there are always barrier birth control devices. Yuck! Who wants to be messing around with that on their wedding night.

Your mother is sorta right--it only takes about a month for bc to become effective. The reason why it's important to go 3 months ahead of time, though, is to find the RIGHT one. Some forms of bc cause undesireable side effects in some people--no two people are alike--so it's important to take the time to find out which one works best for you well in advance of you actually needing it!

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Exactly...

Some don't take right away, some people have irregular periods, some people get really bad side effects.

Also, if you were thinking about implanon or depo-provera, they take AGES to settle down usually. Most of my friends who went on it had about 6 months of frustrations initially before it finally settled down and their periods settled back down.

Yeah, don't understand why people usually leave this for the last month!

I went 9 months before I was planning to be married (didn't end up getting married - and I got my BCPs that early cos I was going to Africa for 3 weeks and didn't want my period whilst I was over there), and I'm really glad I did. I didn't have any problems with my pill, but going that early had prepared me for any hassles that could have happened.

So yeah - 3 months out would be the latest I'd be doing it. Mum's are great (and your mum IS on the right track), but I'd want a couple of periods after starting taking it just to make sure I wasn't getting TOO moody, having REALLY strong flows, and not getting migraines or anything from them.

Plus, I'd be getting a physical exam at the same time - especially if you are a virgin. You can get an idea on how your body is wired, and your doctor can give you some suggestions on how to reduce the pain level that first time (and subsequent) if you are a virgin. I know many girls who didn't bother doing this, and had a REALLY hard time of it on their honeymoon, when all they would have needed to do was go to the doctor, have a little 'snip' or learn some stretching exercises beforehand...

Good luck with all of this girls - PM me if you need any more advice or anything!

Sasch

 

[Maeyken]

I totally agree with Sascha... make sure you have your BC plan in place well before you need it. Your body needs a chance to adjust. Everyone is different, and the first one you try may not work for you. I don't really have any new info- Sasch covered pretty much everything. I just wanna emphasize the importance of getting BC well before your wedding!

 

[Singin4Him]

For my husband and I we chose the pill. We both prayed about it and we really felt it was the best choice for us. It is true you need to see a gyno months before the wedding for more than just the reason of getting BC but also to get an exam to make sure things are alright with you in that area. It is true it is hard to find the right one most times. For me I tried 3 different ones before I found one, I tried 2 before we got married and two made me so sick to my stomach I couldn't handle it, then I thought I found one and then about 2 months after we were married I started having break through bleeding and stomach cramps and went to the gyno because I was afraid I was pregnant lol but found out my BC was causing the prob. The one I'm on now has worked so far, it's called Yasmin and its a low dose hormone which I HIGHLY recommend because they have lower side effects.

There are many different forms of BC, the best way to get educated on them all is to go to your gyno and discuss your options and what may work best for you. Usually they will give you samples to see what works best. Try to go at least 3 months before the wedding. I myself went 5 months before and I am so glad I did because of all my complications with the pill.

 

[*heidi*]

Eeep! This thread is not making me feel good at all!

I didn't know people have all these sorts of problems with birth control. Shouldn't it just be like any other medication you take? I never have a problem with any other medication (not that I really take any, but whenever I have), so why should I have a problem with birth control?

This business about having a physical exam, getting something snipped or not being stretchy enough seems like craziness to me. We are built to work, even if it may take a while to make it work. I don't fancy going to a doctor unnecessarily. Nothing significant has been wrong with my before, so I'm assuming everything will work now too. Sure things may be different for people who have problems, but I don't have any. I don't want to become paranoid for nothing and be going to a doctor to check me out if I don't have to.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I would still get checked out, cos I frequent another forum (made up of non-Christians and Christians) and a lot of girls have talked about ongoing problems with him 'fitting' in there, and the hassles they are having 6 months later when their bodies are now seizing up in fear because of the pain they experienced earlier. I would be doing everything in my power to be informed so as not to be confronted with that.

If it were me (it won't be - I never had issues - even the first time I had sex), I would DEFINITELY be going to my doctor, just to make sure. No harm in being forewarned and prepared.

I'd also be getting a few good books like 'Intended for Pleasure' and "Getting Your Sex Life Off to a GREAT start".

Sasch

ps. I'm not coming down on you heidi, but remember that our bodies are psychologically affected by pain we experience, and I'd hate for ANYONE to go through that when they've done the right thing and waited til the wedding night, and found out their hymen's were EXTREMELY thick or had something like vaginismus, and then having to cope with the emotional/psych fallout of that...

 

[LiberatedChick]

I would still get checked out, cos I frequent another forum (made up of non-Christians and Christians) and a lot of girls have talked about ongoing problems with him 'fitting' in there, and the hassles they are having 6 months later when their bodies are now seizing up in fear because of the pain they experienced earlier. I would be doing everything in my power to be informed so as not to be confronted with that.

Yes, I agree. It's not a nice thing to go through and doesn't exactly help get your relationship off to a good start. I'd never heard about snipping and stretching exercises before I got married...in fact, only heard about it from reading this thread! These things aren't talked about that openly over here. I don't even know if our docs would do anything like that or whether they'd just laugh! Yes most people find that everything works just fine but I also think you should be well prepared both with birth control and bodily workings. You can never be too well prepared.

 

[Bowling Pin]

YES YES YES! Get your pills early! I am on the pill, started it about 2 1/2 months before my wedding and it has made me pretty sick. My doctor told me it takes a month or 2 to settle down the nausea and find the right time of day to take it. I would have been a total wreck if I had been as sick as I was in mid-october a few weeks before my wedding!

I am finally feeling better now and it was worth getting early.

 

[Singin4Him]

I"m going to have disagree with what Sascha Fitzpatrick said about the "snipping" thing. You do not have to go to the Gyno for that before you get married. What she is talking about there is snipping or stretching the Hymen. There are stretching exercises that can be done but again there is no need to have it snipped. That is something that should be done naturally IMO, it's not going to cause that much less pain for most virgins.

Some woman have little problem with pain some have a great deal. It has a lot to do with being tense because of nerves. The best thing to do is just relax and take it slow. For me it was quite painful but I am a tiny person and I was extremely tense and nervous as well. The most important reason to see a gyno is to get an exam, just to make sure eveyrthing looks good. It's just a regular exam nothing painful. It is very very important though so do not put that off.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Oops...

Sorry if it sounded that way, Singin - I was only trying to give people options. Having the GP surgically do it is one option, so is stretching it. I do know of an instance, however, where the GP minor op was the only way a woman I know was going to fit the size of anything bigger than her little finger (despite her best efforts at personal stretching). A doctor can have a little bit of an examination down there, tell you what he finds, and then give you the option of a minor op at a later date, if they discover it is actually quite thick.

The majority of women out there will NEVER have problems (past the first night) of physically being able to experience intercourse, but knowing there are some girls who can't even get a tampon in without physical pain, led me to suggest some of these women go and get a check up with their gynecologist, who can also educate them on good techniques for 'equipping' your body to handle such things.

A doctor can also give some wonderful advice on contraceptives, what your body actually LOOKS like down there (how else was I going to know my uterus was retroverted if I didn't go? THAT was a quirky thing! ), and things like the strength of your hymen.

But yeah - above all, go to your doctor, get a physical and talk about your contraceptives and anatomy at LEAST 3 months before the wedding day!

Sasch

 

[*heidi*]

Well, I have no problems using tampons... so hopefully it will all work. I will go to the doc to talk about birth control, but not for any physical exam. I will find out if I don't work when I don't work. Psychological damage though? That sounds a bit far fetched. If it hurts too much, then I will get it fixed. It'd be just plain silly to keep doing something that hurts.

Thanks for all the advice though guys! I'm so glad you started this highly informative thread Sascha! Ignorance was bliss though...

 

[Bowling Pin]

I am not sure what BC you plan on using, Heidi, but be forewarned--most docs in the US anyway, won't prescribe the Pill or other chemical BC without a pelvic exam. I think it is illegal for them not to first confirm officially that you aren't pregnant or otherwise physically incompatable with it. That is as much to protect you as themselves (and yes, i know that you know as a virgin you're not pregnant and not lying about it, but the doc doesn't know you).

 

[nuarc]

Wow, Im glad this thread was started. I never thought I would have a problem with BC, My sisters are on it, and I have friends on it, who never seem to have any problems. Or perhaps they just dont complain (?) but now I know that I'll need to see the doc to get them way before my wedding. Thanks for the information.

 

[*heidi*]

Thanks for the advice Bowling Pin, but in Australia everything just seems to work better in general. We don't need any pelvic exams.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Don't need??? Ummm... yes we do!

Seriously, it's a valid thing to go get yourself checked out once in a while, even if you haven't ever had sex... Cervical problems can occur EVEN if no sexual activity has been entered into.

Can't imagine there are still people out there who don't see the need for this kinda thing...

Sasch

 

[nuarc]

Hey, the only people who dont *need* pelvic exams are men!!!

And even then, they should always check their testicles

 

[strengthinweakness]

I'm a guy and not even engaged yet (currently in a LDR-- I will ask her next year though ), but out of curiosity, I've been reading this thread, and I just thought that the brides-to-be who are considering using the Pill might want to read this booklet. It has been endorsed by many doctors. It's a bit of a long read but worth the time for all Christians.

http://www.epm.org/pdf/bcpill.pdf