Like it was previously stated, the main question to ask yourself is why. If its to pay the bills, no problem there. By all means, do what you have to do. But if its to feed the "more" addiction, then there are deeper problems to face.
When I get married, I never want to have kids unless I'm able to stay home for their first few years at least. I understand life tends to mess up our plans, but it's something I'd like to try going for. I'm going to have a hard time giving up my career for awhile if that time ever comes. As a physics major, a lot of hard work is going into my degree and it would seem like a waste to quit working outside the home. But if I have that option, I’d do it for my kids. Tuffguy—you’re one in a million for what you’re doing for your future wife and children. So few are willing to do that kind of work. It’d be much easier on us females if more men were willing to do this. A lot of pressure is put on us to be godly wives that stay home with children, but it seems not equal pressure is put on men to make that situation even possible for us.
Maybe I can help explain how this all works from a child’s perspective. I was raised by daycare until about age 10. There are blocks of time in my childhood where I don't remember seeing my dad at all--for years at a time. This isn't because he left us, but because he left for work before I got up for school and came back home after I was already asleep. This included weekends and most Sundays. I stayed in day care every day after school until around 7 or 8. I could tell you horror story after horror story about the way kids treated each other in that place. Around 5th grade, I was no longer able to be put in day care because of my age. I instead stayed home alone after school until my mom came home late. I happened to be dealing with puberty issues at that time, very early compared to my classmates. I was so much taller than everyone and had no friends--those who didn't make fun of me were afraid of me. None of these were unique problems by any means, but it was very tough.. I was still so young and I felt like I had no one to turn to because my mom was never home. No one was ever there to explain to me that this was normal. This home environment plus some certain life events fermented and lead to a deep hatred of self I held on to for many years. I’d rather not talk about the details of that part—some things still stick around with me today. Some of those things were inevitable but the main thing that made it unable to heal was I had no one at home to help. I’ve never asked my parents for advice because they were never around for it. I couldn’t tell you a single lesson I’ve learned from them, except that debt isn’t worth it.
They worked every hour of my childhood because they wanted their dream house. By no means is it extravagant, its much smaller than the average but it was a dream house compared to their salaries. They wanted it so badly that they’d give up their family for it. They bought a house and could never enjoy it—the house that ended up feeling like my childhood prison.
A very curious thing happened after I moved out. My dad got a new job that took him away from home even more. My mom lost her job for awhile and had to spend a lot of time at home because of her arthritis. For a long period, she was constantly alone in her own house unable to leave, just waiting the whole day away for my dad to get home. She called me one day and apologized—said that she understands now how I must have felt!
My parents are now preparing to sell the house and buy something small and cozy—to finally make a real home out of it. My roommates and I are looking for an apartment in the same area. I’m looking forward to finally having a family again!
So before doing anything, make sure you have a good grasp on why. Houses, cars, jobs, money.. none of it is worth putting your kids in day care or leaving them alone to be raised by anyone other than you.
