dont know where to start.......ever since i repented 10 months ago ive been super depressed.....i doubt im even saved seeing as how i dont have a hint of joy....mabye i dont believe enough.....well ive been sober and in the word and im completely miserable trying to do my impression of a christian......lost all my friends...no job...no eductation....failling health...full on pity party....anyways im in the pit of despair.....tired of agonizing over my standing with God....i read first john and it doenst look anything like me..........i really cant stand people at church much less love them.......cant deal with this.....im just spiraling downward.........