Wives submitting to their husbands judgement made in love

[Romanseight2005]

Gen 3:16 is part of a section starting in 3:14. It's a curse on the snake, on Adam and Eve, and even on the ground, as some combination of punishment for and consequence of sin. That Eve will have to obey her husband is in parallel with birth being painful weeds and thistles growing, and the snake being cursed.

It is far from a statement of the ideal relationship between men and women. It's a result of things being out of kilter.

 

[AmbryRye]

1 Corinthians 7:4 is one of the verses that says the husband and wife belong to each other. But ultimately, the husband is the God appointed authority over the wife. Not only is she to submit to him, but he is responsible for her, her salvation, in God's eyes.

It isn't as simple as the wife has to be submissive to her husband. This does not, however, entitle the man to boss her around, mistreat her or disrespect her.

The husband, in my opinion, has a much bigger job with a lot of responsibility. He is to love his wife as Jesus loves the church. It is his job to protect her, guide her, love her and lead her. That is a pretty big job.

Genesis 3:16
16 To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you will bring forth children;
Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you.”


Ephesians 5:22-23
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.


Please note verse 23 "for the husband is the head of the wife."


Colossians 3:18-19
18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.


1 Corinthians 11:3
3 But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.


So, to answer your question, yes. He has not only the right to stop her, to tell her she should not go, he also has the responsibility, as her God appointed authority, to do so.

 

[Naomanos]

1 Corinthians 7:4 is one of the verses that says the husband and wife belong to each other. But ultimately, the husband is the God appointed authority over the wife. Not only is she to submit to him, but he is responsible for her, her salvation, in God's eyes.

It isn't as simple as the wife has to be submissive to her husband. This does not, however, entitle the man to boss her around, mistreat her or disrespect her.

The husband, in my opinion, has a much bigger job with a lot of responsibility. He is to love his wife as Jesus loves the church. It is his job to protect her, guide her, love her and lead her. That is a pretty big job.

Genesis 3:16
16 To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you will bring forth children;
Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you.”


Ephesians 5:22-23
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.


Please note verse 23 "for the husband is the head of the wife."


Colossians 3:18-19
18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.


1 Corinthians 11:3
3 But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.


So, to answer your question, yes. He has not only the right to stop her, to tell her she should not go, he also has the responsibility, as her God appointed authority, to do so.

I disagree with what you have stated.

 

[AmbryRye]

I disagree with what you have stated.

Don't shoot me, I am only the messenger. Those verses come straight from the Bible.
And the Bible is what I live by. Perhaps you have something else, I do not know. But if that is the case, it would be like we were speaking different languages because your value system would be different from mine.

But that is what the Bible does say and that is what the OP was asking.

 

[Naomanos]

Don't shoot me, I am only the messenger. Those verses come straight from the Bible.
And the Bible is what I live by. Perhaps you have something else, I do not know. But if that is the case, it would be like we were speaking different languages because your value system would be different from mine.

But that is what the Bible does say and that is what the OP was asking.

The reason why I disagree is because my wife and I interpret scripture differently then you do. We interpret it differently then those who hold a wife only submission view.

We believe that we are called to mutually submit to each other in our marriage, that neither is the leader because we both lead when the other knows more about a situation than the other.

As I have stated in this thread, I will not stop her from going by forcing her to stay home. If she wants to go after I have said that I don't think it's such a good idea, than she can go. I am not her dictator that tells her when, where and how she can go somewhere.

She is an adult who gets to make those choices on her own.

 

[AmbryRye]

The reason why I disagree is because my wife and I interpret scripture differently then you do. We interpret it differently then those who hold a wife only submission view.

We believe that we are called to mutually submit to each other in our marriage, that neither is the leader because we both lead when the other knows more about a situation than the other.

As I have stated in this thread, I will not stop her from going by forcing her to stay home. If she wants to go after I have said that I don't think it's such a good idea, than she can go. I am not her dictator that tells her when, where and how she can go somewhere.

She is an adult who gets to make those choices on her own.

And you are correct, you are to submit to each other. Maybe I was not clear. People tend to think that those scriptures mean the husband should be a daddy figure. That is not what it means. It does not mean the wife is a slave or anything else.

It simply means that the husband has authority over the wife in God's wife. It means that he is responsible for her. So, within that, as long as you are acknowledging the God given roles, how you work it out amongst yourselves is your business.

It doesn't mean that you bar the door and not let her out. It means that you approach her in a loving way and say, "Honey, this really isn't a good event and I think it would be wise if you did not go."

That is a lot different from tying her up and locking her in a closet so she can't escape.

All I am saying is that it is his duty as the God appointed authority over his wife to guide her, tell her she should not go. But if she insists, there really isn't anything he can or should do to stop her (but that would be an indication that they are unequally yoked - he is trying to operate in the role God gave him and she is not respecting that role).

 

[Itagaki]

Not only is she to submit to him, but he is responsible for her, her salvation, in God's eyes.

Um, no.

Although, I do enjoy bossing people around and having another slave to do my laundry, yardwork and clean my house and car would be a welcome change!

Damn, where do I sign up...?

 

[WilliamB]

The reason why I disagree is because my wife and I interpret scripture differently then you do. We interpret it differently then those who hold a wife only submission view.

We believe that we are called to mutually submit to each other in our marriage, that neither is the leader because we both lead when the other knows more about a situation than the other.

As I have stated in this thread, I will not stop her from going by forcing her to stay home. If she wants to go after I have said that I don't think it's such a good idea, than she can go. I am not her dictator that tells her when, where and how she can go somewhere.

She is an adult who gets to make those choices on her own.

And that's called loving ones wife as you love yourself!

 

[ChrisHolland619]

Why do people keep saying "LIEK IT DIESN'T GIVE YOU THE RITE TO BOS YOUR WIFE AROUND!111" when I clearly stated like 9 times in my OP that anything said to the wife would be in the spirit of love and meekness to BENEFIT her spiritually or physically.

Good grief.

 

[seeingeyes]

Why do people keep saying "LIEK IT DIESN'T GIVE YOU THE RITE TO BOS YOUR WIFE AROUND!111" when I clearly stated like 9 times in my OP that anything said to the wife would be in the spirit of love and meekness to BENEFIT her spiritually or physically.

Good grief.

If I may, I never got an answer to my question:

Like, say a husband finds out that his wife is going to participate in an activity that is not "godly" but rather worldly. Now, the husband, after praying and making judgement based on what the Bible says, states that it's not a good idea and he doesn't want her to go. If she does, is she dishonoring her husband?​

What about the inverse situation? What if the husband wants to participate in a "worldly" activity and the wife states that it's not a good idea and that she doesn't want him to go, but he does anyway? Is he dishonoring his wife?

 

[Romanseight2005]

Why do people keep saying "LIEK IT DIESN'T GIVE YOU THE RITE TO BOS YOUR WIFE AROUND!111" when I clearly stated like 9 times in my OP that anything said to the wife would be in the spirit of love and meekness to BENEFIT her spiritually or physically.

Good grief.

But if you are telling her what to do, and assuming that you know better than she does, then you ARE bossing her around, no matter how sweetly you are doing it.

 

[KingofConquerors]

But if you are telling her what to do, and assuming that you know better than she does, then you ARE bossing her around, no matter how sweetly you are doing it.

It is her choice to submit! if she doesn't do so then there's nothing he can do about it.
We are supposed to be Christ-like husbands! We have to see what kind of leader Christ was(is); How did He lead those who followed Him while He was here on earth. This is the TRUE missing piece of the puzzle!

Point aside though, if my wife were to get into any serious danger, i don't care if it isn't fair or if shes okay with it, my priority is her safety and i'll do whatever it takes to get her out of such dangerous situation. (i'm not married so it doesn't matter yet)

Btw i find it amusing how people keep saying "my interpretation of the Bible.'" It doesn't matter what you think it means but what God says it supposed to mean. In other words, let the Bible interpret itself. Don't let your reasoning or the world's reasoning to influence the meaning of the scriptures

PS: I AM THE KING OF CONQUERORS LOL
Nice meeting you all!

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Btw i find it amusing how people keep saying "my interpretation of the Bible.'" It doesn't matter what you think it means but what God says it supposed to mean. In other words, let the Bible interpret itself. Don't let your reasoning or the world's reasoning to influence the meaning of the scriptures

Exactly. Someone will see every verse and think its needes to be interpruted. I remember some guy (on another forum) debating for months over the commandment "Thou shalt not steal!" He added his own words and interpritations. I told him its a straight forward command, you don't need a degree in language to figure it out. Don't steal is don't steal! lol. ^.^

 

[Romanseight2005]

It is her choice to submit! if she doesn't do so then there's nothing he can do about it.
We are supposed to be Christ-like husbands! We have to see what kind of leader Christ was(is); How did He lead those who followed Him while He was here on earth. This is the TRUE missing piece of the puzzle!

Point aside though, if my wife were to get into any serious danger, i don't care if it isn't fair or if shes okay with it, my priority is her safety and i'll do whatever it takes to get her out of such dangerous situation. (i'm not married so it doesn't matter yet)

Btw i find it amusing how people keep saying "my interpretation of the Bible.'" It doesn't matter what you think it means but what God says it supposed to mean. In other words, let the Bible interpret itself. Don't let your reasoning or the world's reasoning to influence the meaning of the scriptures

PS: I AM THE KING OF CONQUERORS LOL
Nice meeting you all!

So would the reverse be true as well? If a woman's husband wanted to do something that would harm him, would it be her job to do whatever it took to get him out of harms way? I have also read the lives of real people who lived in biblical times, and I see cases where women lead, and they are considered wise. Abigail, for example, called her husband a fool, did the opposite of what he wanted her to do, and she saved the lives of his entire household. The Scriptures also called her wise.

Now if we are to use the whole counsel of God, we have to look at reality here too. The reality is that men aren't automatically smarter, or better equipped to make the decisions that matter for his wife. So we shouldn't presume that he knows what's best for her.

 

[katautumn]

Why do people keep saying "LIEK IT DIESN'T GIVE YOU THE RITE TO BOS YOUR WIFE AROUND!111" when I clearly stated like 9 times in my OP that anything said to the wife would be in the spirit of love and meekness to BENEFIT her spiritually or physically.

Good grief.

The problem isn't submission, itself, rather the fact that most men out there are entirely unfit to be in any sort of authoritative position over their wife. Why would my husband know better for my spiritual state than I would? My husband isn't my link to my Savior. I've got a direct hook up to my Heavenly Father. I don't need my husband to act as my intercessor. We are one another's accountability partners. We both bounce ideas off one another. Sometimes he asks me questions about the Bible, and sometimes I ask him.

Now, if Jim came home from work one day and caught me practicing voodoo in the attic, I'm sure he'd have something to say about that. And, yes, I respect his feelings, because I am deeply in love with him. But I refuse to fear him the way I fear God. Jim is too fallible to have earned that privilege. Most men (and women, for that matter) cannot separate God's voice from selfish wants. Your (general, here, not singling you out specifically) wife may want to do something that your flesh disagrees with, so you tell her you've heard from God on the matter. That's a fairly persuasive argument and nothing short of spiritual blackmail, which is what most couples do that try and over-spiritualize these so-called "biblical gender roles" in marriage.

The husband manipulates the Scriptures to silence his wife. The wife bats her eyelashes and acts like a mousy fool, because some book told her that doing so will cause her husband to adore and cherish her. It's such a game. True love is about mutually yielding to one another. I once read in a submission book (Daughters of Sarah, I believe) that "partnership" and "sitting down and talking things out" are "sinful and worldly concepts". At one point in the book, the author shares a story in which her husband made her cancel plans to attend their granddaughter's birthday party, because he wanted to close their summer home for the winter. What sort of insensitive jerk would claim his wife should submit to such a thing, and what sort of foolish woman would willingly submit to that? And yet countless conservative Christian men and women will hail this story as the epitome of how a true Christian wife should handle her marriage.

 

[TheDag]

Btw i find it amusing how people keep saying "my interpretation of the Bible.'" It doesn't matter what you think it means but what God says it supposed to mean. In other words, let the Bible interpret itself. Don't let your reasoning or the world's reasoning to influence the meaning of the scriptures

only problem with this is that to understand various passage you need to be aware of cultural norms for the time it was written. I don't find non-catholics teaching that contraception is bad after all so they do this when they want to but then want to ignore it for other passages. That is all part of interpretation.

 

[AmbryRye]

Exactly. Someone will see every verse and think its needes to be interpruted. I remember some guy (on another forum) debating for months over the commandment "Thou shalt not steal!" He added his own words and interpritations. I told him its a straight forward command, you don't need a degree in language to figure it out. Don't steal is don't steal! lol. ^.^

Wow. Incredible!

I once worked with a guy who told me, "What if your interpretation of the Bible is wrong?" (he was not a believer at all)

I told him, "The Bible is not to be interpreted. The scripture is very straightforward. All you have to do is study it."

People don't like what the scripture says so they try to twist the scripture and put their own spin on the meanings. But just because you call an elephant a mouse doesn't make it a mouse. It is what it is.

 

[AmbryRye]

The problem isn't submission, itself, rather the fact that most men out there are entirely unfit to be in any sort of authoritative position over their wife. Why would my husband know better for my spiritual state than I would? My husband isn't my link to my Savior. I've got a direct hook up to my Heavenly Father. I don't need my husband to act as my intercessor. We are one another's accountability partners. We both bounce ideas off one another. Sometimes he asks me questions about the Bible, and sometimes I ask him.

Now, if Jim came home from work one day and caught me practicing voodoo in the attic, I'm sure he'd have something to say about that. And, yes, I respect his feelings, because I am deeply in love with him. But I refuse to fear him the way I fear God. Jim is too fallible to have earned that privilege. Most men (and women, for that matter) cannot separate God's voice from selfish wants. Your (general, here, not singling you out specifically) wife may want to do something that your flesh disagrees with, so you tell her you've heard from God on the matter. That's a fairly persuasive argument and nothing short of spiritual blackmail, which is what most couples do that try and over-spiritualize these so-called "biblical gender roles" in marriage.

The husband manipulates the Scriptures to silence his wife. The wife bats her eyelashes and acts like a mousy fool, because some book told her that doing so will cause her husband to adore and cherish her. It's such a game. True love is about mutually yielding to one another. I once read in a submission book (Daughters of Sarah, I believe) that "partnership" and "sitting down and talking things out" are "sinful and worldly concepts". At one point in the book, the author shares a story in which her husband made her cancel plans to attend their granddaughter's birthday party, because he wanted to close their summer home for the winter. What sort of insensitive jerk would claim his wife should submit to such a thing, and what sort of foolish woman would willingly submit to that? And yet countless conservative Christian men and women will hail this story as the epitome of how a true Christian wife should handle her marriage.

What you are describing is abuse of authority. It illustrates men who do not take their God given role seriously and with sobriety.

I am submissive to my husband. He is kind, loving and I am totally free. I am not his slave and he does not boss me around. He does not make selfish or unreasonable demands on me.

We discuss things openly and freely, he seeks my input on every household decision, about his career, about everything. We are a team, a partnership, yet I look to him for guidance when I struggle with a spiritual issue. He encourages me, helps me, leads me and helps me follow God's lead.

God is FIRST in our marriage. My husband takes his role as the head very seriously. I also will remind him when he does something that takes him out of his walk with God. We counsel each other, but God appointed him as my head and I respect that.

But it is not anything like what is being described in this forum. It is very free, very respectful, very loving and very mutual.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I once worked with a guy who told me, "What if your interpretation of the Bible is wrong?" (he was not a believer at all)

I told him, "The Bible is not to be interpreted. The scripture is very straightforward. All you have to do is study it."

People don't like what the scripture says so they try to twist the scripture and put their own spin on the meanings. But just because you call an elephant a mouse doesn't make it a mouse. It is what it is.

Yep exactly!

 

[TheDag]

Why do people keep saying "LIEK IT DIESN'T GIVE YOU THE RITE TO BOS YOUR WIFE AROUND!111" when I clearly stated like 9 times in my OP that anything said to the wife would be in the spirit of love and meekness to BENEFIT her spiritually or physically.

Good grief.

Maybe it was from this

What verses state this is how this should be done? Shouldn't a man be able to make decisions for his wife if he feels it's best? If made out of love and meekness, and not for personal gain or motive?

See making the decision for her and expecting her to obey does not fit in with what is love. I know there are aspects of love that this matches up with. however love is all the aspects so this does not fit.

Perhaps if you gave an actual example. perhaps if you define worldly so we are all working from the same definition.

Precisely. If a husband says that after prayer and guidance from the Word, that something is best, that's how it is, end of story. That's what the Bible says. Why do Christian woman have a problem with this, despite it being black and white?

Well why do you have a problem with it? or are you claiming you are perfect and don't sin? So you are not perfect at it so why are you saying what is womens problem? Sounds a bit like trying to remove a splinter from anothers eye while there is a log in your own.

It's good to mutually agree on things. I don't think anyone is arguing that.

But what kind of love are you exhibiting if you let your wife go into harms way just because "lol she wants to"? That's not really love, I'm afraid.

If God didn't love us, He wouldn't rebuke us for our sins.

"For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth." Hebrews 12:6

except rebuking comes after the sin not before it. it is clear that God does allow us to go our own way rather than force us to go the God's way. if you don't believe that then I don't think you have read the bible real well.