With the recent posts of questioning the worth of marriage...

[PetraFan007]

As you get to know me, you're going to realize that I don't bs anyone...I get right to the point with my questions. I ask straight out, not beating around the bush. That's my style and I'm stickin' to it.

This is a question for the women:

If I met you and we fell in love and we decided to get married after getting to know each other enough...and we decided to get married soon---would you be expecting a huge wedding and some expensive ring? What if I said I was poor, and I could only afford a small wedding and a ring valued like $500-1000 tops? And we went on a simple honeymoon. Would this change you're whole marriage experience? Would it make you think I'm a cheap (fatherless son)? Would you marry me because you loved me and I loved you and we knew we were meant for each other even though you knew that I wasn't going to spend a lot of money on a ring/marriage/honeymoon (NOT because I'm cheap but because I don't have the money)? I'd really like your honest opinions.

 

[fishstix]

In my opinion, anyone who would refuse to marry someone because the ring isn't worth enough or the wedding isn't big enough or whatever is clearly marrying for the wrong reasons.

 

[Living4Him03]

Wow, you are going to spend $500 on a ring? Haha. That actually sounds expensive to me, but I've never been to look at rings so I don't know! I'm pretty modest about jewelery so I like really dainty stuff, a big rock would not appeal to me. I also would prefer a small, elegant, simple wedding that is just with close family and friends. I would also like for the wedding to have a worshipful attitude to it. I think I may even like it if my future hubby and I shared our personal testimonies briefly and if we also shared ways we have grown together in Christ. That would be awesome as part of our vows. A simple honeymoon would be great, but I would want it to be romantic and special of course! There are ways to get cheap tickets, discount fairs, etc. Las Vegas is a fairly inexpensive place to go if you play your cards right ( I made a funny) and so are all inclusive cruises. Anyway, as long as God is first in my relationship with my future hubby and we are honoring Him and the wedding is special and romantic to us, that's great. Even if the wedding is a disaster and everything goes wrong, yet we are still able to make it through the ceremony I'll be satisfied. It won't have any bearing on the impending marriage...unless one of us is on crutches...now that might make the wedding night sort of tricky lol.

So when are we getting hitched? hehe j/k Hope you get the answers you're looking for.

 

[PetraFan007]

 

[PetraFan007]

Thanks for answering...that's a great encouragement for me. It's great to know there are still some simple girls out there. I love simple girls...you know--- ones that aren't high maintanance...they would be happy just to be with you and of course provide and be a good husband.

 

[Living4Him03]

Yah, although some guys will take advantage of simple girls. I have dated guys before who thought that because I was not high maintenance and like simple things, I didn't care about romance or chivalry or anything like that. That's not true...I just think putting all your expectations and hopes into whether a guy is going to buy you expensive things and take you to expensive places,etc. is always going to end in disappointment. Those aren't the things that make a relationship fulfilling. However, getting flowers or a flower or a small gift sometime, hugs, gentle kisses, asking me to dance...those things are important to me.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I wouldn't care, so long as the ring was real gold and real diamonds (and yes, you can get them for $500 and under... the ring does NOT have to be huge by any means. i also have tiny fingers so too big would be overpowering). I say this because the ring does mean a lot to me.... and if you're really interested, I have seen CHEAP (and REAL!) rings on eBay.

As for a big wedding... I'd rather have a small one anyway, being the introvert I am.
Any other trimmings I'd absolutely HAVE to have, I could chip in for myself.

 

[peaceblossom]

I know I'm late with a response, but I've never been a class hound. I've dated people who were well off and others who weren't. What it comes down to is the heart of a man. I don't fall for people based on what they are, it's who they are. As long as I was marrying the person that was meant for me, nothing else would matter. Heck, we could have a wedding in McDonald's and share a happy as far as I'm concerned. Love is too grand to pass someone over because they weren't wealthy. That's just shallow (in my opinion). People put too much emphasis on material things.


...By the way....an onion ring would do just fine.

 

[PetraFan007]

Well I don't believe the other extreme is cool either. Girls should been treated like princesses but ....on the other extreme, not goddesses

 

[Glamgoddess]

Is it just me, or is the original poster suggesting he'd be the one paying for the whole wedding??

If I was dating a man (like I'll ever date a REAL MAN..) and he asked me to marry him, and I said 'yes', I'd of course understand within myself, that I'm going to be paying for the wedding too.

Actually, I thought the bride's parents paid for thr wedding. Isn't this the case?

Well, since my parents are very poor, I'd pay for the wedding as much as I could anyway.

And as for the ring: I don't care if it's made of nickle cadium (that cheapish department store jewllery metal, if he was truely poor, and not just cheap. There is a line to be draw, you know.

I've read somewhere in a guide for buying a ring, it's meant to be worth two month pay. I think that's really superficial, and petty.

 

[Living4Him03]

mmmmmmm onion rings

 

[fishstix]

Actually, I thought the bride's parents paid for thr wedding. Isn't this the case?

I think traditionally it is the bride's father who is supposed to pay for it. However, nowadays it is common for both sets of parents to split the cost or for one set to pay for it all if they want more say in what happens. And sometimes the bride and/or groom themselves end up paying if they are able to. It varies.

...By the way....an onion ring would do just fine.

Now that is one of the best comments I've ever read on a message board

 

[klewlis]

I don't need anything fancy or expensive. In fact, I detest the pretentiousness and showiness of 99% of weddings these days.

I don't mind a simply honeymoon or any of that stuff. And I don't need a big rock on my finger.

HOWEVER
It is worth it to spend enough money on the rings to get good quality ones. If you buy cheap rings you will have diamonds falling out and other stuff happening. If you want it to last a lifetime, spend more on the rings. My mom got cheap rings for her second marriage because they had no money and within 5 years the diamonds were already falling out. So if you're going to spend money on anything, let it be that.

 

[harmmony]

This is a question for the women:

If I met you and we fell in love and we decided to get married after getting to know each other enough...and we decided to get married soon---would you be expecting a huge wedding and some expensive ring? What if I said I was poor, and I could only afford a small wedding and a ring valued like $500-1000 tops? And we went on a simple honeymoon. Would this change you're whole marriage experience? Would it make you think I'm a cheap (fatherless son)? Would you marry me because you loved me and I loved you and we knew we were meant for each other even though you knew that I wasn't going to spend a lot of money on a ring/marriage/honeymoon (NOT because I'm cheap but because I don't have the money)? I'd really like your honest opinions.

My opinion is - money is irrelevant, rings are irrelevant and expensive weddings and honeymoons are irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that you are in love and committed to each other and to God. As others have said - if you find yourself with a girl who wouldn't marry you for any of the reasons you've given, she's shallow and materialistic and not worthy of you and she'd never be satisfied with the simple life you desire, so she's obviously not the one for you. I'd marry you in minute in the back garden with a BBQ for a reception. Take heart, there's lots of girls out there who would marry you for love alone.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

I honestly cannot see the point of spending thousands upon thousands of dollars for one day. Marriage is not about the wedding.

Saying that, like I stated in a different post, I would like a ring, but there's not a minimum dollar value that the man must present. Heck, even if he doesn't present one, that's not a problem (although I'd like one!). I'm either jumping a flight to Vegas to get hitched or if my future husband wanted to have a traditional wedding, I'd want it only immediate family and very, very small.

I understand some girls get all giddy over the wedding, and that's fine, too. You just have to see if they understand that there's a marriage to work at AFTER the big day.

 

[Snowhite]

My opinion is - money is irrelevant, rings are irrelevant and expensive weddings and honeymoons are irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that you are in love and committed to each other and to God. As others have said - if you find yourself with a girl who wouldn't marry you for any of the reasons you've given, she's shallow and materialistic and not worthy of you and she'd never be satisfied with the simple life you desire, so she's obviously not the one for you. I'd marry you in minute in the back garden with a BBQ for a reception. Take heart, there's lots of girls out there who would marry you for love alone.

I wouldn't go so far as to say all those things are irrelevant. A wedding is a testemony and a celebration, I want mine to be just that. Does that mean breaking the bank? No, but it is important to me that I celebrate with friends and family on such an important milestone in my life. Rings also have a significance, in that they're a symbol to show that you are set apart. Again, doesn't have to be a rock from tiffanys, but it does serve a purpose and is very special to some people. And as for money being irrelevant, well, I disagree. A couple should be planning for the future, not just the moment and be prepared for any kids that may come along, etc.. So, all those things I think have their place, but they don't need to put you into bankruptcy at all

 

[mina]

If I knew that the man that asked me to marry him was the man that God wanted me to marry, it wouldn't matter to me if the ring was tin and glass or if we got married in a simple small ceremony. The marriage is what is important not the cost of the wedding or the ring or the honeymoon. I would go to neighborhood hotel for a honeymoon if it meant that I was in the will of God with marrying a guy that didn't have a lot of money. Those material things do not really matter in light of finding the one that God has intended for you and sharing your life with them- for poorer just as well as richer.

 

[PetraFan007]

wow, you girls rock! :-D thanks for all the replies! and the guys had some good input too.

 

[hischildsindik]

I think marrying for love, with God's hand on the marriage is the best way to marry. I'd elope, have a tiny ceremony with only the closest of close friends and family if that's what it took due to funds. And a week camping (a place with showers please... and maybe an airmattress) would be an awesome honeymoon.

I consider myself pretty realistic and down to the nitty gritty. I don't have much money myself and my mom has no money to speak of to marry me off... so it would have to be just us.. which means it wouldn't be fancy, but there would be an abunance of love.

 

[Brittany108]

I think most girls dream about that special day (at least when they are little), but when it comes down to it that isn't what marriage is about. To not marry someone because they can't afford a big ring or wedding is petty and immature. If you love someone that isn't going to matter. Sure, if my hubby-to-be has the money and wants to spoil me rotten I'm not going to complain -- but I'm surely not going to miss out on marrying the man God has chosen for me just because he can't afford a big rock. A God written love story is priceless!